Creative Life Midwife

Inspiring Artistic Rebirth

Tweaking No, No, No Into Yes, Naturally, Ofcourse!

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I humbly offer myself as a healer of misery… and the first thing that pops up is… oh, I can’t. I don’t have it in me I am not up to it. No. No. No.

Yet today on a livestream broadcast the vote from all who knew me was unanimous: the work I do is healing. Who I am in the world is healer.

I carefully outlined some of the ways I have healed this week and if I am honest, pretty much so anyway at least 50% of me just being me in the world is healing so if one side of me is saying “oh, I can’t. I don’t have it in me I am not up to it. No. No. No.” well… let’s just say the disconnect is looming, thunder-cloud-like, eclipse right in the middle of the darkness.

I may have stumbled upon something.

Think of my worst misery:

Grief. Out of alignment with purpose… not expressing my gifts. Listening to the advice of people who don’t have a clue (I almost edited that before I typed it but “have a clue” is more accurate than “aren’t clear on what I am doing.” No, they don’t have a clue and I have put much more emphasis on their opinions than my own wisdom.

It is my fear, after all, that shouts with the “oh, I can’t. I don’t have it in me I am not up to it. No. No. No.”

I’ve been thinking of making a puppet like when I was a little girl and talking to myself through her. Getting really really real with her, and in doing so, getting real with me and you and whomever and in doing THAT allowing others to get real, really real, too.
Yes, I have it in me. Yes, I can and I do, regularly.

I am not only up to it, I am pretty close to mastery in most places.

In fact, I am remembering a woman once who came to me completely flustered and said, “Julie, I don’t know what it is you do but I need it right now!”

I had no idea what she was talking about so I simply said, “Yes, yes, let’s do this.”

I took her hands and looked deeply into her eyes and said “Breathe with me.”

We bnreathed together, in unison.

I said, “Close your eyes and see yourself feeling better as you continue to breathe with me.” She did.

“After adequate time passed I said, “In silence, we will continue to breathe together now…” and we did.

Thirty seconds later, I smiled at her and said, “So be it, Amen.”

Instantly feeling better. She hugged me for a long hug and thanked me for being so generous with instant work with her.
She left the room and I looked at the other woman and I said, “I have no idea what just happened but, it happened and all is well, so… it’s all good, right?”

The next prompt in this “series” I wll write on either later today or tomorrow is….. (because of my own block I am working through on this content is…)

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When Prompts Don’t Quite Do The Trick, Here’s What I Do

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See the prompt to leftt?

It didn’t work this morning for me. I tried it – and nothing.

It is from the poem I am focusing on this month, “In Praise of My Destroyer” by Diane Ackerman  and it just wasn’t working.

I needed to do a couple things.

  • Search for related quotes. One I focused upon is from my dear friend and always inspirational Ralph Waldo Emerson. I aimed the patience he suggested directedly at myself.

“Adopt the pace of nature. Her secret is patience”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

  • Choose key words out of the prompt or reading and focus on them as singular entities rather than a part of a whole. This really helps ignite the writing process. “Humble Guardian Nature” allowed me to play with each individually and provided me freedom.
  • Create art, letting go of the need for language. here’s what I came up with:

And finally I got down to the business of the Brain Dump… moved my fingers and trusted….

Sometimes I have a challenge with the prompts I write, the prompts others write… prompts in general. I sit at my keyboard or at my desk, my fingers mute. No movement – and I wonder, “Am I concerned somehow with getting this right even though I am the only one here, writing? I’m not in a class and then it comes to me.

Consumable. Audience. Worried about the consumable product I am trying to create.
It would be more apt to say I am a worried creator of hoped for value but never trusting it will really work out so if I sit with my fingers immoveable close to the keyboardd nothing bad will happen until we discover 15 years have passed and nothing of note or merit or meaning has happened.

And I am to blame.

And not moving and ignoring the blame (which I know kvetching without action to change is really foolish) and so I chase my tail.

I say I don’t want to chase my tail and I won’t chase my tail so I find myself a guardian to my stagnation, choosing to lie down atop my gifts and talents, a rather forlorn lump of purple plaster of paris, cracked and crumbly who has given up on seeking water to replenish her.

(My thought now? Geesh, I’m being melodramatic again, no wonder people don’t like me.”)

It is close to dawn.

I look out my living room window as I type, taking my hands away from the keyboard long enough to hold my coffee mug to my lips and gaze at the mulberry tree standing watch over the bay window.

Her chin is lifted now (her being the tree, not me suddenly speaking in third person) her branches up and not quite weeping.

My gardener doesn’t like her sweeping branches, kissing the ground.

I love them like it when the branches kiss the soil. Next Spring, I need to speak clearly to my gardener to let the branches sweep the lawn with their grace.

I notice Emma did some tidying up while I wasn’t looking and am slightly surprised and primarily pleased.

My intention for today is to feel better.

Yesterday was another ball of contentment: a blend of work-life, taking care of loved ones and basking in the afterglow of long-ago creative process that is such a part of acting in a film. We do our thing, put our images on film and the artists who come afterwards continue the process while we go back to the rest of our lives and almost forget that initial process.
I am a humble guardian of my days, wanting not to send myself into a pattern of destruction. I want to live.

I would like to be a humble guardian of my gifts – one who takes my gifts and mixes with whatever turns up and move forward with better and better life experiences.

The timer goes off again.

I say good enough for now and know the keyboard and the letters will still be where I left them when the time comes to write again.

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What will you choose to show love to today? Prompt for Contemplation & Writing

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“I will not dishonor my soul with hatred.” Diane Ackerman

(From the poem “I Praise My Destroyer” by Diane Ackerman)

Prompt for Contemplation, Creativity and Action:

What will you choose to show love to today? Who will you choose to show love to today?

This is your call to actively be loving to the world. It is a call to be a mirror, a reflection, a candle in the darkness (as cliché as I know that sounds) these words are asking you to go beyond meditating, beyond thinking, beyond looking at hatred and tsk, tsk, tsking in your coffee circles and step into actively choosing to show love.

Who will you be when people look at you and say, “You shine, you radiate, when you _____ my day is brightened.”

I remember watching a Designing Women episode years ago and Charlene and the woman played by Annie Potts were just being who they were and Suzanne Sugarbaker (played by Delta Burke) said with tears in her eyes, “I want someone’s eyes to light up just because I walk through the door.”

When we actively choose to show love, that is one of the natural results.

Perhaps you actively choose to show love by expressing gratitude. Not just thinking “everything is great” but specifically telling someone “The way you carefully put those papers away (shielded your child from a bully, took care of that elderly person’s need in the grocery store, tied your child’s shoe for her, made me feel better when I opened my heart to you) made a difference today and I am so grateful I was able to witness you being you in the process.”

There are a lot of things to not feel actively love for in this planet, and when you seek, instead of dishonoring your soul with hatred, but actively opening to love and communicating this love through action, the veils will come down and you will feel your hope being restored.

I want more of this in my life, don’t you?

What will you choose to show love to today?

Contemplate. Write. Bring it to life.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

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Seeking Simplicity: Transforming To-Do’s into Delightful Discoveries

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Sundays are a special time for me on twitter because of the weekly #SpiritChat hosted by Kumud Ajmani. Lately I have not been able to participate there so instead I am choosing to interact on my own throughout the week.

What popped up during my writing time this morning may be helpful for you, too, so here it is –

.Q1. Sit with the phrase “returning to simplicity”. What does it speak to you in your current environment? #SpiritChat

Here is the result from writing for five minutes, stream of consciousness style. Note – I changed the opening sentence after editing a photo to go with the words.

Return to simplicity: starts when I return to home, every time.

I hesitated before getting out of my car after my morning errands/Samuel school drop off run.

This has become a habit of mine: sit in my car when I arrive home. Sometimes I pull out my phone and get lost in responding to tweets or texting or seeing my facebook notifications.

I told my neighbor recently when she commented how I seem to sometimes rest in the driveway, “I sometimes wait to go in because I don’t want to deal with what’s inside.”

Somehow crossing the threshold of my house has turned into stepping into a lengthy to-do list rather than stepping into a nurturing space of sweet surrender, of holding, nurturing and a leap of too passionate growth.

When did this happen?

How did this happen?

Even as I write I realize neither of those questions matter, what is significant is I noticed it in time to make a change that delights and inspires.

I am able to choose to be simply  delighted and inspired rather than annoyed and disjointed.

I sit back in my chair a moment, stop typing, and smile. I allow this option of returning to simplicity to fill me.

My hair is half way curled because I wanted to start and didn’t care about finishing. I made coffee and actually poured myself a cup, and I put Samuel’s laundry away this morning yet not my own.

I’ve made several possibility lists and managed to rejoice about my weekend blessings (there have been many.)

How to create a more simply  loving relationship with my home?

1. More down time here. I don’t need to hurry-scurry all the time.
2. Do more intentional decorating.
3. Fill my space with sensory delights – diffuse essential oils, play my favorite instrumental music and put more art/photos up so that my chin is lifted and my spirit is lifted.

My timer went off with “festive bell” sounds today.

Maybe I need to put up some bells around the house so that I may ring them as a reminder: love, hope and optimism is in the air.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

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Now I Allow, Invite, Intend….

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Now I allow myself to feel my way into my response I keep blustering into forgetting. I need to start over because I forgot my timer. Embrace the restart. Prompt and Timer in place, go again.

I allow myself to be transparent again. Really, really truthful and clear because I find when I am transparent I am free. I have nothing to lose and as Janis Joplin reminds us (well in the Julie version) freedom stands or freedom means there’s nothing less to lose.

Things have not been easy this year.

Things have sucked much of the time.

I have kept a smile on my face most of the time and I have allowed myself to pull back and pull away.

I am allowing myself to use language differently – getting away from the should and needs and lack based language I fell into unconsciously. November is about recreating from love and abundance rather than fear and lack and neediness. “What if they leave me? What if they hate me? What if something bad happens and I need help and I’ve alienated everyone by being so full-on-flat-out myself?”

I can get intellectually it is distorted thinking that people will abandon me if I am fully myself but I can point to times when it has happened over and over again and that base fear of abandonment is a doozy!

I remember Katherine’s wedding nine days ago and I was dancing and singing like when I was a young girl. I had so much fun and I didn’t care what people thought. I remember one flash of a moment when I cared: I caught the eye of a member of Katherine’s new family – my new family – when I was singing and dancing in a way some might think unbecoming of the mother-of-the-bride and deep within me fear popped in, evil weasel like.

I smiled at it, winked, and kept dancing singing and laughing with my friends. Wasn’t wearing shoes, wasn’t at all dolled up beyond my normal self-face and I had the time of my life.

#MoreofThatPlease

Now I allow myself to continue to write into the #moreofthatplease. This week and beyond.

I am grateful for dear, life-long friends and family. I am grateful to the people who show up for me when I facilitate writing programs. I am grateful for coffee and actually drinking it without it going cold. I am grateful for my cell phone. I am grateful I asked for what I hoped for and I got it… even belated it was good still.

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Writers Talk: Memory as a Strength, A Gift, A Treasure + A Writing Prompt for You

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“You remember too much,
my mother said to me recently.
Why hold onto all that? And I said,
Where can I put it down?”
― Anne Carson

I have been accused of remembering too much, holding on too tight, not being willing to forgive.

I’m working on forgiveness, a continual form of spiritual practice it seems.

I’m playing with the harmony of forgiveness and self-protection and advocacy. Where do I need to grow more? Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation, it means recognizing the other’s humanity and giving them the room to feel better, to know they aren’t causing you pain.

After all, the other side of me says – no one is capable of “making” anyone feel anything. It is a choice to feel what we feel, for the most part. When I feel crappy and depressed I feel crappy and depressed. No one makes me – circumstances may be lousy and there are times during deep rottenness I feel driven and optimistic and ready to expand into deep transformation.

(I can say clichés with the best of them.)

Thing is, I remember.

I can’t stop remembering.

I don’t want to stop remembering. (Here, try this prompt with me)

It is like telling an artist to remove certain colors from her palette. “No more purples, Julie. You need to focus solely on green.”

Doesn’t work for me.

I don’t focus only on the bad memories, either, I appreciate a memory concert. Here a memory of being the ultimate silly one, there a memory of a cloudy afternoon in 1983, I can hear the conversation, I can feel Mel’s arms wrapping me in compassion, I can feel the incredulity rising up in my chest.

I hadn’t remembered that in a couple decades but it comes to life and pours itself onto the page exactly when I need it most.

Why would I want to stop remembering? It is my ultimate super power – translating memory into words and reaching out with them to you and to you and to you.

My timer went off and I watched my neighbor slouching toward her SUV. I cant remember the last time we exchanged niceties. Perhaps, now, the memories will float up.

I think it was most likely about the tulip magnolia tree her husband planted and I was so excited I set aside her cat hating, sneering demeanor and loved her for a moment instead.

Perhaps, yes, right now, I will choose to love her in my thoughts, prayers and actions more often. If I hadn’t elected to remember, watch and continue to write from memory, I would only see the slouch and the sneer.

I will not give up my memories to you. Or him. Or her. Or them.

I will use the grace of the memories as transformational tools to work for the greatest good of all.
That feels so…. perfect. Just right, here and now.

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Goal Playing: Let’s Make Reaching Our Goals More Fun (and Productive!)

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There is a tendency to forget we have the capacity to make nearly anything and everything fun. Note to self: remember to make this fun and share that giddy, goofy, get-it-done energy with others.

I realized somewhere along my journey of today that I create and reach towards goals much like a child bounces a ball against
the school yard pavement or a child-artist moves her paintbrush freely on a canvas.

I create goals and step into goals because I find it to be great fun.

In my life coaching work I have often suggested to my clients, “Ahh, just throw some spaghetti against the wall. Go ahead, try that out – it isn’t going to hurt anything! And besides, the process itself can be darn funny. Try it… shush, stop your hesitating and just
throw spaghetti!”

This has been so much a part of me that I didn’t even see the uniqueness in my approach.

I like setting wacky goals alongside my serious, world changing goals. You know. just for fun, not for anything else but the sheer joy of creating them and then inviting other “kids” to play along.

I can easily get into the zone when I am being childlike.

Am I possessed or obsessed? No, I am playful.

I am being the otter, sliding around the water, barking and clapping my hands.

I am the monkey, swinging from the branches, hopping over to my friend and running my hands through her fur coat, inviting her to swing with me.

I am the preschooler, carrying toy kitchen accessories around the room, delegating roles, “I am the Mommy, you are the daddy, you are the sister, the brother, the other sister, and you are the puppy” and when the other sister would rather be the Aunt Millie, I shrug, and smile and ok and when the puppy gets bored and wants to build with blocks, I smile and wave her away to go have fun doing something else.

No attachment, no worry, no hurt feelings, no drama or added meaning.

To me my goals provide crystal clear, joy-filled play.

Here’s a surprise – for some of you.

Our world changing, deeply serious goals may be brought into reality more quickly and effectively if we play with them first.

Seriously play.

Natalie Angier wrote “along with love and a good joke, playfulness seems like something that should not be explained, a brilliant splash of animated joy so sheerly pleasurable to watch and engage in that it is its own justification.”

To me, goal creation, goal reaching, goal tweaking and goal realization fit those words perfectly.

How about you – want to come along with me? Want to wrap yourself up in a costume of choice as we create something engaging and fun?

Come on, you know you do.

I can see that shy or sly grin crossing your face. See my ball, bouncing its way towards you?

Reach for it – your goal, my goal – unattached, joy-filled, possible, passionate.

So glad you are here, playing, creating, being with me right now.

Listen for a little while longer for the specific steps to make the biggest difference for you.

It would be so easy to stick our fingers in our ears and sing so we wouldn’t “hear” the prompting of goals, to-do’sa. What if we were deaf to the forward movement required to bring to life our intentions, dreams, vision, mission, whatever-title-you-choose-to-name-that-‘thing’-that-pulls-you-forward.

This may be a day when you have several “must-do’s” on your agenda, like my friend Shirley did when other people’s request piled up and fun didn’t feel at all possible.

This is a good chance to invoke the Heart/Mind/Goal Game Drizzle.

Even when Shirley was babysitting her grandson at 9 for a couple hours or so, meeting her friends for a play at 6:30ish depending upon the needs of the rest of her family she could make it fun and productive with minimal effort.

Why? Because none of these tasks interfered with her brain/heart drizzle, a fun companion activity to stir up that day or any day.
One of the grand things about this plan is I don’t have to complete it today and if I somehow slip up, I can return at any time on any day and claim a do-over and simply begin again. I can’t think of anything that soothes me more to know right now.

Here’s how the Drizzle Works:

1. Close your eyes and put your right hand over your heart.

2. Take a couple nice deep breaths, focused on clearing out any traces of negativity you may be feeling.

3. With your eyes closed and your negativity cleared, ask yourself silently, “What would be the best choices for me to make this month in order to reach my goals (be a good mother, make the world a better place, contribute to my community, get into better shape, put whichever fits the best for you here.)?

4. Allow yourself to continue to breathe in silence for even just 15 seconds.

5. Go about your day and when you think of it, repeat the question either silently or aloud.

6. Be aware of any thoughts that come into your awareness throughout the day that relate back to your initial question. To make this step extra fun, I’ve been known to actually shout-out “Thank you!” which made my children laugh when they were little. Now it makes me laugh with me.

7. At night, sit with your notebook or a big sheet of paper and write or doodle whatever comes up without pre-thinking or forcing it, just ask the question again and let yourself go onto the paper.

8. Let the continued questioning and heart opening and playful energy drizzle your loving, playful plan into being without effort, without angst and with heaps of joyful celebration.

9. Repeat these steps for up to three days to create a firm foundation for your goals (or whatever you want to name them) for your next week, month or quarter.

Shirley devised a life changing plan the last time she took on the Heart-Mind-Drizzle Goal Play. Now it’s your turn.

I help people – mostly creative entrepreneurs or those who hope to become creative entrepreuneurs, like Shirley and life you – to end writers blocks and barriers to communication by providing methods and means to allow their words to flow, finally, freely and without judgment.

We then take that they’ve written by using the #5for5BrainDump method I created – writing a mere five minutes a day for five days a week – to become a “something” tangible. It might be an article or blog post or a poem or a chapter of a book or a screenplay or a sales letter. It might be a Ted Talk or a way to start a conversation with a lover or a business partner. It might just be what it is – a stream of consciousness ramble that eventually morphs into a bridge to that place the writer has always dreamed of being but she didn’t know ever existed so she was unable to put it into words until… she did.

We continue to build on this “something” together either with me one-on-one or in a larger community of creative entrepreneurs – and in time, a new Creative Life is born.

The people who work with me, these creative entrepreneurs, discover a place where they fit in and are appreciated. It is so fun to watch the smiles spread across their faces and their words to rain in gusty storms like monsoons and sometimes just a slow, sweet mist… and at times… the sunshine takes over and we rest and bask in it.

Sometimes what we start with is not at all what we eventually create, but this new Creative Life – and the way it feels, remains strong and firm and delectable.

Each one uniquely quirky, each one jagged and smooth, whole hearted and angry – content, happy-sad, morbid and silly.

Light and dark and back and forth again.

All of this written from a prompt from a blog post I wrote in 2007 in a time of deep sadness:

“In order for the moonflower to completely open, it has to bathe in darkness. I am not a big fan of the dark. It scares me. Still. Yet I can not walk by this flower without bowing to it, without putting my face close to its opened-by-the-dark heart.”

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist  whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming soon.

  To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at .

  Check out the links below to follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing. 

 

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Writing Prompt: Today I am Choosing….

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Our writing prompt today offers a choice in perspectives. To get your subconscious mind started, consider and respond via comment your initial “gut/heart” response to “Today, I am choosing….. “

As you write for five minutes, allow the opposite or different its space if it enters into your writing. This is a part of “righting” your beliefs and experiences. For “righting” practice, try, “I once chose lack and what I discovered was…..” and as you complete each sentence add, “I now consciously choose abundance.”

Here is what I wrote during my time of 5 minutes of free flow writing we call #5for5BrainDump:

Today I am choosing abundance. I look out my window and I see the early morning slanted light, curling its finger at me, inviting me into a day of lush color and form. I once chose lack and what I discovered was black, white and grey scale. I discovered nit picking and rock throwing and finger poking. I now consciously choose abundance. I don’t choose airy-fairy outside reality abundance, I see abundance in the times of mishaps as well – there is something about the dappled shadow-light I especially love.

I grant myself permission to make mistakes when I choose abundance. In fact, it isn’t even a right or wrong thing when I choose abundance it is a “hmmm. Check this out” kind of thing. In fact, I often feel wobbly when I choose abundance because I am practicing the creation of new more empowering beliefs to build my life upon rather than the oft times destructive nature of lack. Lack architecture has building blocks of “don’t do,” and “can’t do” and “oh my gosh, you’re such an embarrassment.”

Abundance architecture is built upon beams of playful experimentation, hugs of compassion when setback appear, deep eye contact and laughter based in love, not lack’s chosen companion of humiliation.

Today I am choosing abundance. I am choosing to agree with divine favor. I am choosing to be open to what comes and discern as I lift my foot and put it down.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Check out the links below to follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.

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End Writer’s Block by Promising Myself Rewards? (Is it working well?)

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Today I am earning a cup of coffee by writing about what I don’t want to write about.

Perhaps this is the little known secret for ending writer’s block: withhold coffee (or chocolate, or sex, or whatever a person likes best) until the first 750 words are written.

What do you think?

I could easily follow this tangent.and.I.won’t.because. I am supposed to be writing:

  • About walking down 19th St with Josh last night about the early days before and after Samuel’s diagnosis.
  • About seeing an educrat last night who long ago insisted it was bad mothering causing Samuel’s behaviors (which were so obviously spectrum anyone with any ounce of knowledge should have known.)
  • Putting myself back in my 2007 shoes – finding the gap of July 31 to October 23 without a blog post. Unheard of in that era. Most eras of my life actually.

My last blog words on July 31, 2007 were “In order for the moonflower to completely open, it has to bathe in darkness. I am not a big fan of the dark. It scares me. Still. Yet I can not walk by this flower without bowing to it, without putting my face close to its opened-by-the-dark heart.”

I must have had the notion the darkness was behind me: my brother had died and I was doing ok with that – only light on the horizon, right?

Blog Silence for all of August. All of September. All of.

Darkness. I bow to it, putting my face closer to the flower that is poison and only opens in the dark.

(My timer goes off. My five minutes are up. I am angry. Now I get to drink my coffee. All will be ok.)

= = =

To review my history in words, visit:

My final blog post before Samuel’s diagnosis:

My nebulous return, including a country western tune for good measure.

 

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist  whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. 

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Even If “The” Writing Prompt Isn’t Working, Keep Moving Your Pencil (Or Fingers on the Keyboard) Anyway

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Sometimes writing prompts get you nowhere. This is a reality those of us who write prompts oftentimes don’t want to confess. We think if people are stuck and our writing prompts haven’t moved them on, we’ve somehow failed them. We’ve failed at our life work.

As a writer of prompts, I feel very guilty when folks’ words stagnate from my suggestion. I open the word-love valve wider but still nothing happens.

Here’s the thing: I wrote a prompt and avoided it for three days.

When I finally wrote to it in a #5for5BrainDump the first go-around was good, but I knew I had to go deeper. I know I needed more time, more writing moments.

I tried to take on Jack Kerouac’s quote again… and wrote tangentially. I was supposed to be writing about being amazed by myself and here’s what came off the ends of my fingers, tapping on the keyboard in 5 minutes.

We were sitting in a circle together: about eight of us. I didn’t know any of them very well – it was a circle of women who knew each other by face if not by name. We had a common interest though not much else.

I’ll take responsibility for suggesting we all introduce ourselves but I wasn’t expecting each lady to leap into a snippet of her personal story.  The thing is, everyone was entranced.

I was nervous though because people were starting, generally, with their names and their employers their geography. They were sharing quantity of kids and ages of kids and I just for once did not want to bring my kids into the equation for once. I am at the end of their collective childhoods and part of the letting go is to stop using them as a mold for my identity.

I don’t have a normal employer or a normal geography.

We were sitting in a place owned by a specific political party, which I am not a part of.

I was squirming and uncomfortable in my seat because I felt 100% cast off and wrong and wondered for a moment if I could just escape somehow before I had to confess I was so different than everyone else and they might not want to have me around anymore if they knew the truth about me.

I don’t know how I started. I don’t know how I finished. I do know I talked for what I felt was too long and I apologized for rambling.

But no one chased me away. No one seemed to look down their noses at me. I did mention I didn’t really understand intersectionality even though I live it. I did mention I had a deep respect for Palestine and immediately worried I might offend any Jewish people in the room including a woman I hoped would be my friend.

After all was said and done and we were back in our homes, one of the women wrote in the facebook group her favorite part of our meeting that day was the sharing of stories.

Rambling. Over excited. Laughter. Connections. Memories.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist  whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

 To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Check out the links below to follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.

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