Creative Life Midwife

Inspiring Artistic Rebirth

That Didn’t Work Out Like I Planned

by Leave a Comment

Otherwise known as THE JOY OF MAKING MISTAKES IN PUBLIC

Is there some sort of an award for mistake prone folks?

I attempted to schedule a blog post today and failed. The blog post posted, but the content had “September 17” on it and talked about the break I was taking which started the end of last week and will end two weeks from now.

Why is making mistakes so easy?

Here’s the thing: I could have pranced around angrily but instead I decided to allow it to stay there. The mistake. Public facing, big mess up and this, my friends, is an attempt to actually schedule the blog post (which will now be this one) on September 17.

Wish me well.

PS – If this turns into a mistake, I will delete it. 🙂

Woman (Julie Jordan Scott Julie JordanScott) seeming to burst through a broken wall on an abandoned home.

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she has recently finished her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch exclusive reels, videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

Facebooktwitterpinterest

Good Morning, Love: September 17, 2023

by

I have been away, on purpose, for more than two weeks. It has been profound and strange. Profoundly strange, sort of like me. More than sort of like me.

A year ago my musings sounded like this:

Today’s sunrise was glorious here in Bakersfield. As I drove from the house-sitting gig to my home office I was stunned repeatedly by the extraordinary-ordinary beauty.

My favorite moment was (don’t judge) I was at a red light, and I wanted to take a short video of the ordinary beauty unfolding before me. There was a billboard blocking part of the view and I decided to just be patient – holding my phone low to video when I spotted a Bakersfield Police Department officer pull up two lanes over from me.

I laughed because I was thinking about creative blocks and fear and boom. I could have been in deep, expensive trouble and instead, I slowly lowered my camera and my creative endeavors and laughed from deep in my belly that I was actually paying close attention albeit in a different way.

This morning, a year later, I walked on the front porch of the manse in my stocking feet to take a photo of the cloudy horizon when the sun had not yet made her way up quite yet.

I was busy at work, even then, and preparing for the school year to begin tomorrow.

Tomorrow I will be back on Social Media, posting again – and grateful to have had this time to be fully with myself again.

Turns out I really needed the quiet.

Good morning, Love.

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she has recently finished her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch exclusive reels, videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

Facebooktwitterpinterest

Beyond Emotional Groundhog Day: Surrender to Empowered Yes

by

Last year was supposed to be a year of living my dream life, focusing on fulfilling many dreams I had set aside for decades, moving to a manse in Northwest New Jersey and instead – very little of that came to fruition.

Almost but Not Quite: Again and Again and Again

In April and the first week of May, I felt closer to my dream life than I had in decades and then circumstances imploded which resulted in me surrendering to what was right in front of me and staying on the West Coast from May through mid-September.  

I remember in Mid-May, spinning my wheels and desperately reaching for different results everywhere I went. The single worst moment was telling my son he ought not come home on the days between his Spring Semester and Summer School. The silence on his end of the phone line followed by “ok, if you don’t want me to come home….” and then to explain to him the chaotic circumstances would not be a restful or enjoyable time for him. 

I came up with an alternative plan so I could visit him for dinner in Las Vegas and race back home. This was literally an 18 hour turn around because of that heartbreaking phone call. The ping-pong ball effect was in full force during May and June and into early July.

In June of 2022 I wrote: “I am notoriously slow at processing tough information. I usually go mute at first, perhaps out of a sense (a wish?) of denial.”

Surrender is NOT giving up, it is Being Real.

It was on an exhausted day in early July I chose to wave the metaphorical white flag and said, “I am all in. I am all in to do whatever needs to get done here in Bakersfield in order to ensure things here with my family in California will flourish when I return to the East Coast.”

I created parameters and avenues for mini-adventures like going to San Francisco and going to the Grand Canyon and Phoenix on the way to Las Vegas after the moments when my son did visit. This quick tour combined creating sweet memories and inviting better futures to be made into form.

These challenges have morphed in ways that shifted my ideas about what it means to say an empowered YES as well as the power of surrender, which is a different sort of yes.

Stepping into an Empowered Yes

Stepping into the empowered YES with love, joy, fear, regret (both accepting what has happened, even the unpleasant and prevention of future regret), sorrow and the hint of possibility. 

Life is lived in staying whole whether in bliss or sorrow. We keep our eyes on the horizon, looking for the openings, standing in and for grace. This allows us to look back and say “Thank goodness I went all in for that horrible scenario because… the celebration of overcoming and healing and transformation would not be here otherwise.”

I no longer cry when I recount last Summer. The tears did their healing work. Tears teach us “my body recognizes the magnitude of this sharing and honors it by releasing salt water, like depths of the oceans.”

I’ll take it. I’ll take a more restful form of discovery for the next time. 

Now I will continue writing from the heart, hugging trees and having meaningful conversations as I create this manse-life back in Northwest New Jersey. 

What will you continue to do this month? What will you continue doing this season and this year?

Woman hugging a cartoon tree - white with black polka dots

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

Facebooktwitterpinterest

Grief: The Inevitable Meeting

by

Meeting Grief, face-to-face, heart-to-heart, soul-to-soul is not something we go into with excitement or joyful anticipation. It is a door we enter grudgingly. For those of us who have experienced more than what feels fair, we may be more open to greet others in the early moments of grief. 

When CS Lewis described his early experiences of grief it is almost like he was walking around both in my head and in my body: 

“There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in. It is so uninteresting. Yet I want the others to be about me. I dread the moments when the house is empty. If only they would talk to one another and not to me.”

I know The invisible blanket intimately. There are times when there is an ongoing desire to have other people around but not wanting them to engage with me.  Presence. 

I used to ask people if they could please “breathe with me” at moments where this need became so great. Lewis said grief was like fear: in the other studies I have done – and in my personal experience – grief also feels like anxiety and depression.

In these 30+ years since I first experienced severe grief, I’ve never heard words describing experiences so closely to the sensations I had during these such painful times in mylife.

In preparing for today’s Instagram live broadcast, I literally crawled back into the time immediately after my brother John’s death. 

Ironically, today, when I was lead to the CS Lewis quote on the anniversary of the night I came close to death myself. It was on that night my soul left my body in the intensive care unit and found myself in the all too familiar tunnel which to me felt like an umbilical cord to the sky.

There are no accidents.

I am grateful for your presence as we explore grief together.

If you have questions or comments, please be brave and write them or send me a private message or text. I would love to hear from you.

Woman hugging a cartoon tree - white with black polka dots

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

To watch the Instagram Live Video that inspired this blog post, please visit the link below:

Facebooktwitterpinterest

Hello, this One and Only Today! Hello!

by

The words floated into my head, something like a soft breeze or a far off trumpet. If I was paying attention, I would notice. If I was rushing to my next thing or ticking off my to-do list, it would be imperceivable.

“I trust all my experiences add up to good.”

I stopped walking to be sure I heard what I thought I heard. It wasn’t an exterior voice or an interior voice yet it was a voice. It was my voice it seemed – and I recognize this presence-voice as my highest self who I call Julianne.

“I trust all my experiences add up to good?”

Within seconds the presence-voice caused a smile to cross my seriously intent “listening” face and my feet moved again, enjoying the rhythm and cadence of the thought.

“Yes, I trust all my experiences add up to good!”

Shift thankfully happens –

This is quite different than my cranky, frustrated voice on Tuesday that was consistently grumbling about the experiences in the past year, the past decade, the past, period. Even some of the now I was feeling grouchy about.

Sometimes I remember a children’s book I enjoyed reading to my daughter that featured a character called “A good for nothing swamp haunt.”

The Parking Lot Trees Agree

I looked up at the trees surrounding the parking lot next to the manse where I live. The leaves are slowly changing color a little bit at a time and for the first morning since last week, sunlight was hitting them in the early morning.

“I trust all my experiences add up to good,” my mind intoned. I figured these trees knew this. The ones that were still mostly green didn’t seem to be rushing or trying to be more quickly yellow than their neighboring tree. They were all standing together, facing East, maybe pleased to be getting some attention from the sunlight and me.

“I trust all my experiences add up to good.”

This is our song: speak, sing, dance & live

This could be my anthem, now that I think about it – with a slight twist. “I trust all our experiences add up to good.” I believe in the greatest good for all, the power of community, the joy of collaboration.

“I trust all our experiences add up to good.”

Now our job, our honor, our blessing is to continue creating experiences in the moment, and seeing how we might embody our own unique purpose as we begin and continue each day.

Betty Smith’s Tree Grows in Brooklyn Adds:

Betty Smith wrote “Look at everything as though you were either seeing it for the first time or the last time. Thus is your time on earth filled with glory.”

When we trust our experiences today and everyday add up to good – add up to significance – add up to being a gift for ourselves and others, everything changes. See this concept now, hear it fully, and consider how you will make it your own.

Today this is my affirmation. I invite you to enjoy me in bringing the good – and the trust – into your life in a tangible way.

Join the affirmation. Watch it grow.

“I trust all our experiences add up to good.” 

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

Facebooktwitterpinterest

October Outlook: Grateful for YOU, dear Reader of this Blog

by

Autumn leaves and a blue sky with text that welcomes friends, long time and new. Inspiration for writing, blogging and content creation with Julie Jordan Scott.

If I had to use three words to describe myself last year at this time I would say “hurting, perplexed, tenacious.”

IN OCTOBER, 2021

I was hurting because my father died less than six months before October last year. I had been my mother’s primary caretaker from April through July and spent much of that time simultaneously emptying her home before assisting my brothers in moving her into an assisted living facility. I was perplexed because I had managed to hurt my middle daughter by following through to move to New Jersey without adequate ongoing communication for a much needed sabbatical from my life on the west coast. I was tenacious because I didn’t stop trying to get it – life – work – my creative pursuits – better than they had since I had a near death experience in 2019 and quite honestly, for a few years leading up to that.

WHEN LIFE’S PLANS ARE DIFFERENT THAN YOUR OWN….

I didn’t know last October I would go on a wildly circuitous route to find myself starting over again. I am back to the manse where I started my “year of creative retreat and radical self-care” on October 6, 2021.  

I didn’t know it would devolve or evolve into a second period of intense grief, and crisis caregiving of an entirely different sort which lead me to spend January, March, May, June, July, August, half of the preceding December and half of September only to return right back where I started – as if my hopes and dreams chewed me up and spit me out – and I got back up, Slowly and sometimes quite unsurely I brushed myself and my circumstances off and insisted upon finishing what I desperately longed to start AND finish.

AND THE IRONY OF THINGS D/EVOLVING INTO BETTER

Ironically – and I wouldn’t have expected to be saying this – but experiencing that crisis caregiving time healed the rift with my middle daughter, strengthened my reserves and built my west coast family into much more of a team. Our communication is stronger. It is safe to say we all feel more resilient.

There was one important request I made before I got on an airplane and headed back east on September 15.

DOING LIFE DIFFERENTLY: THE SIMPLE THINGS

I said “You guys need to text me for no real reason. You need to let me know how you are, tell me how your day went, ask me how I am doing, because right now, I get scared with every text I receive. 

“When I left last year I only heard from any of you if something bad happened. I do not want it to be like that.”

It isn’t like that.  Our healing through tears, struggles, laughter, strength building and stubborn will changed us all for the better.

I am still grieving – with my younger brother’s death last December 10th there are still tender firsts to experience. I am still concerned about the health of my family members.  There is still left over sadness because I was hustling so much to be sure Samuel’s college tuition was paid I didn’t get to invest in as much time in work around my home in Bakersfield or connecting with friends AND.. things are so much better I am still wondering when I will wake up from this dream.

THE HEALING POWER OF POETRY

In May Swenson’s poem, “October”, one stanza includes this section:

“I sit with braided fingers

and closed eyes

in a span of late sunlight.

The spokes are closing.

It is fall: warm milk of light,

though from an aging breast.

I do not mean to pray.

The posture for thanks or

supplication is the same

as for weariness or relief.”

YOUR THREE WORDS… OR PHRASES.

For you, I am grateful for your presence, I am thrilled to connect with you again, and I am honored to meet and walk alongside new companions

I am relieved and thrilled to be back here for another October with you and another Ultimate Blog Challenge. I have not been stable through any of the months we have done this since… I don’t know when – surely at least since 2019  but that makes me even more determined to be here for the other participants as well as to honor what I have been through this year and what is coming next in the future.

I would love to hear what you are looking forward to in October and how I might help you either in the content I write or the encouragement I may be able to offer you.

I am beyond words grateful that you are here reading my words.

Woman hugging a cartoon tree - white with black polka dots

Julie Jordan-Scott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Northwest New Jersey (Sussex Borough, Nj) where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch exclusive reel videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

Facebooktwitterpinterest

Pause to Consider: How Willing Are You to Be….

by

In my years of life and creativity coaching, I’ve witnessed one of the biggest barriers to achievement comes when a person confesses they want to do something but don’t know how to do it, are nervous about asking for help and might not even know who to ask or how to ask how to do whatever that “thing” is.

The second barrier is often… an unwillingness to be a beginner or get a part of what they want to do wrong. The results become IT rather than the experience.

The natural question to ask oneself then, on a scale of one to ten, how willing are you to be bad at something you have a strong desire to try? Can you be passionate and detached at the same time?

When I was in middle school, there was a required gymnastics portion of our gym class. I was excited to try the parallel bars but I knew it might be something I couldn’t do very well. I waited until the very end of class and my patient and probably insightful PE teacher offered to help me when all the other girls went into the locker room.

I wasn’t good on that first attempt.

I never tried again.

Pulitzer Prize winning author of “Understanding Creativity – A Journey Through Art, Science and the Soul” Matt Richtel writes of a shift that happens starting in the fourth grade when we internalize rule following and peer pressure that doesn’t allow us to try new things, to experiment. It is like setting aside our creative muscle like I set aside my gymnastic muscle for fear of looking even less athletic in front of my peers than I already did.

I wasn’t willing to be bad or worse than I already was at any aspect of gymnastics. This from a kid who two years earlier had spent an entire Saturday mastering the monkey bars at the neighborhood park. Between those two years, I stopped being willing to be bad and work through being bad to be better. Not great, but better.

How willing are you to be bad at something you really want to “get right”?

How willing are you to be bad at something publicly?

This week, take some time to consider what you are willing to do badly in order to get better. 

What small experiments might you try to begin to flex that needlepoint, cardio, writing, painting, dancing, French speaking self? What passion is your heart calling you to bring to life with passion and yes, detached from the outcome.

This first step isn’t making a declaration of what passion you want to explore, it is about considering, reflecting and opening up the treasure chest you haven’t been willing to explore… yet.

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

Facebooktwitterpinterest

Reviewing & Celebrating Your Past & Present Selves: From Joyful Writer to Almost Influencer

by

Julie JordanScott reading "The Grieving Brain" in the Flower Fields in Carlsbad. She is having a reunion with her writer self, her current self, her grieving self and could not feel better.

I’ve been poking around my old images and my old writing. What I have found has delighted me. Earlier this week I reported about it on Instagram.

Confessions of a Social Media Almost Influencer

The post in question went like this:

I’ve been revisiting writing I did before my multiple crises in 2007 and what I have found has been astonishing me.

Who was this writer and why have I buried her words?

The exciting part of it is… the excavation is in process and soon these long buried works will be taking form, even better than before.

Some of the excavated pieces became a part of a Sunday Snippet posting on the #WritersFriendChallenge hashtag and a piece of content on my JJS Writing Camp Facebook Page.

On Hollywood Boulevard, tourists like me get their photos taken with characters like Elmo. This one was only slightly creepy but wait - what is this thing on his wrist?!

My former writing self even agreed to be photographed by this more than slightly creepy Elmo on Hollywood Blvd who had moments before whispered to my much -younger-then-daughter, Emma, “I like your Mom.”

Emma also posed with Sponge Bob

Who are you, as a Writer, in the Past and Now?

Oh, the things we don’t know that we later discover.

What would you like to do to keep moving towards your present moment writer self?

You don’t need to answer that right now.

Questions like this are often answered quickly and easily – and to borrow another writing term – in a first draft before your thoughts have a chance to fully ripen.

This is perhaps the primary lesson I offer myself when I asked this question earlier.

Who was this writer and why have I buried her words?

My in process draft is – The Writer who I am now recognizes there was an overwhelming amount of pain I hadn’t fully processed before – and rather than being cleared away and fortified by other materials, more painful experiences or experiences I felt responsible to aid in the fixing took me from deep, love-based, truly free writing as I had done so readily without even realizing it.

I came close many times in the last years to recover the qualities of that past-writer-me, but it was almost as if she was trapped in a mirror or just outside my reach.

I felt safer keeping her tucked away. I didn’t have the energy to be her in that way right then – so now I am getting reacquainted and realizing it isn’t scary anymore. It is fun. It is enchanting.

What I now know is – the happy ending is an ongoing process.

Staying the Course – and Moving Forward with Love (to Completion)

I am now having the joy of revisiting previously written material and bringing it back to life AND also writing new material, crafting a new narrative, from this much healthier, integrated perspective.

As I type this on a warm July day in Bakersfield, I don’t even know if it will make sense to those of you who have gotten this far in reading. Long ago a wise version of myself once said, “Sometimes the things that make no sense make the most sense of all.”

Is there a former version of the writing you waiting for an invitation to a reunion? Tell us in the comments.

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

Facebooktwitterpinterest

July: 2022 Begin Again”The Best is Yet to Be”

by

I am a relentless optimist, usually. Today as we begin a new month, I am reclaiming my Optimistic Hat as will many of us in the community of bloggers in the Ultimate Blog Challenge.

Ultimate Blog Challenge banner for Fridays which will be recaps and refreshers. Today is all about goals: being and doing goals, intentions and writing goals.

Recap: The Year that Wasn’t

I had some ambitious yet also not too outrageous goals when 2022 started.

Unfortunately, my brother’s death with less than two weeks left to go in 2021 helped start everything off in a rather dark way. Two family deaths in a short time was nearly unbearable.

I didn’t factor in grief as well as the health failures of another family member in which were healing after I left California in February and came to a climax in March – when I returned for three weeks and then in May, when I returned for final stages of that healing only to find his health had slidden beyond the place where it had started getting bad.

It had become a crisis so I had to give up my sabbatical on the east coast for a time not just for standard caregiving but for crisis caregiving. 

Somehow the past me knew I would be best off by setting goals differently this year.

Refresh Intention: Goals of Being + Goals of Doing

CS Lewis Quote: There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." Relax about the year so far and settle into what is next.

Goals of Being are more like the Miss Congeniality winner intentions and goals: engaging, kind but not threatening – more like the one who builds up others confidence rather than setting the bar too high for the average person.

Goals and intentions of doing focus on accomplishments, achievements, tangible, measurable tasks and the like.

I revisited my goals for the year and was thrilled when I realized my crowning glory was in the goals and intentions of being. Here are some examples:

I am consistently 

  • Enjoy the process, whatever the process becomes
  • Be present to what is rather than what was or what is to be in the future.
  • Create small, daily goals and move forward with love toward a desired result
  • Practice clear, soulful communication
  • Do a daily self-belonging check in as a part of my work-prep session (since I have been caregiving and not business building, my work is showing tender loving care to my family member and others providing health care and service to my family member.
  • Playful experimentation and practicing passionate detachment about the results: I continue to write and do writing and creative experiments even while not working on building my business. This is as close to “doing” as these goals are!

Looking into July, I will be returning to my original 2022 goals and updating them on my Friday weekly recap posts here. My hope is I encourage you as well to look at your own goals and intentions as I do – with authenticity, courage and hope.

Caregiving, Grieving and the Creative Life

My professional life work includes creative life coaching, facilitating personal growth programs, classes, courses and workshops. My caregiving life this year has included several members of my family. Health, Grief, Aging, Support.

It is very difficult to schedule classes, clients, speaking engagements and live streams or set goals and intentions around this while grieving or caring for loved ones. I can barely schedule one hour ahead, much less a few weeks or months ahead.

Since April 2021 I have both grieved and taken care of others, simultaneously.

During these months I have continued to be active creatively: I’ve written a short play (it was produced in May and I was able to see it while I was in Bakersfield), I have been in a play in a new community. I have written many blog posts, poetry, completed a 377 daily challenge and while in New Jersey my primary task was working on the completion of several book projects while rebuilding my business. I have participated in other blog challenges and I hope to complete this one.

Since mid-May until now, in early July, the caregiving has taken over all other activities except for writing and creative practices in the early morning moments and late night moments. Most of the time, that is.

I don’t know if I could even attempt the Ultimate Blog Challenge without this continued attention to creativity. I am so grateful for the people who will visit in July and comment, share my work and get to know me better or get reacquainted. 

I’m grateful to celebrate with you in all your best hopes, goals and intentions.

I have come to value friendships on an even higher plane since my father died and the many tumultuous chapters since then. You may have helped me and didn’t even know it. For this and other things, I am grateful you are here, reading.

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Facebooktwitterpinterest

How One Moment of Listening (or Being) a Naysayer May Cause Longterm Damage

by

Transfrom the words of naysayers: an ear listens and does... what? Heal the negative effects of mean words.

When I started my life coaching practice in 1999 I was amazed when people showed up at discovery calls and were ready to hire me immediately almost without a word of conversation.  Now, with years of experience under my belt, I realize it is because the content I had shared over time forged the relationship ahead of our speaking.

To my long time readers, we weren’t strangers meeting for the first time.  I was someone they respected who they were honored to finally meet. Back then, though, I was simply happily going about my life, not thinking of myself as anything unique or special or worthy of any extra attention beyond my daily existence.

I wondered why it was so hard for other people to find coaching clients. I didn’t arrive at discovery calls from a space of “I am so good at getting clients” because I wasn’t selling at all. I was just showing up and people were signing up for coaching in a way that felt magical.

My coach-trainer didn’t believe me when I told him how many clients I had. He literally scoffed and said, “You can’t have done that!”

How did my well respected coach and trainer’s scoffing and naysaying words do to a new, exuberant, passionate yet insecure coach?

His disbelief caused a block in creating new relationships with more people who were looking to engage with me.

This is what happens when people are naysayers whether it is inadvertent or on purpose.

What if he had said, “You have sixteen clients and you are a brand new coach? That is incredible – you are clearly getting the word out about your work and attracting like hearted people! What’s your secret? I want to know more about your success! My goodness, you are a star pupil, Julie! Do you realize how miraculous you are?

What a gift those questions would have been. Naturally, he would have said questions in his own voice because the above is more what I would have said to me back then – and what I am saying to me, now.

My coach trainer and I didn’t have that conversation though. He went on to critique me even though my success was huge.

My thought after that conversation with my coach trainer went from “getting clients is so easy” to “What is wrong with me? “

I left  the final conversation I had with my trainer – a person in a position of authority who “knew better than me” scalded by his naysaying. It scarred our longterm relationship.

More appropriate to the facts of what I had achieved would have been thinking something like this: “I am an incredible rockstar bursting with hope and optimism.”

Writing about this now more than twenty years later helps me see even more clearly the cumulative damage that happened because of the conversation – the initial naysayer moment – and my continued lack of belief in what he said has marred certain aspects of building my coaching practice.

It mirrors the Dan Pink quote we started with today: “Some beliefs operate quietly, like existential background music.”  

Once we allow that background music to play constantly, we run the risk of allowing it to overtake any success we have had and what we hope to achieve in the future.

Today, that belief has been excavated and may finally be decluttered from the mind and from life experience.

Give yourself time to consider past moments in time that may still be influenced by “background music of beliefs” that may surprise you. These naysaying moments may seem insignificant, but tugging at the thread of them may bring you into a new awareness that will transform your life experience today.

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

Facebooktwitterpinterest