Creative Life Midwife

Inspiring Artistic Rebirth

We Soon Forget and It Is Gone, Just Like That, Just in That.. What is the Word?

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Sometimes the need to write something is so intense and I just need to throw words on the page.

I had a prompt for an instagram challenge – my instagram writing will appear here shortly because, quite frankly, it has crackeled and flowed this week all written in 5 minute chunks.

A prompt today was “Books and Magazines” so I looked up “books” in my flickr account and what I got – well, what I got was this image and what I wrote below will be molded into a poem like shorter piece especially for my Instagram Audience – to follow click here please. Would love to have you along…

Now – here goes a surprising twisty road trip of 5 minutes – this is so surreal in its free form, fact and fiction and out-of-body merge and meld… 

Broken, put in a box for all these years

Months

Days

Hours

Moments

We soon forget and it is gone, just like that, just in that nick that cut that tear of a moment and the dirt sticks with more tenacity than the lightness of our once upon a time wish, the candle we blew out and never bothered relighting because…

Well, because.

You know the well, because as well if not better than I.

Don’t you?

Purple is my favorite color isn’t it?

And I discovered yet another broken mug in my kitchen sink this morning and I wondered again how I could still not value myself enough to have a dishwasher but after all these years I still don’t and I can still hear that long ago boss saying to me “What kind of a house did you buy that doesn’t have a dishwasher? And I was ashamed again that word, that foreign word I insist foreign but know more intimately than that man I fucked this morning who has no idea how much his humor hurts me, still vile as the bile creeps up my neck and I hold it back keep swallowing keep forgetting keep not looking not looking it isn’t good to look dumb shit you will regret it I guarantee it and I do. I do. I do regret it all.

I look back at the broken mess I poured into the beautiful glass bowl, so surprisingly heavy.

My gift for a performance I always thought was a dis not good enough oh yes the word is disappointment.

The word.

Disappointment

When will the damn timer go off.

Do I really need to write more of this?

The penultimate disappointment I stopped performing because of it, partially. I had to stop I didn’t couldn’t want to be.

Thank God, the timer.

This is an exploration of self via free flowing personal narrative: this specifically is sharing everyday, in the now. A sort of 5 minute meditation upon that day or the day before…. we’ll see how each day shapes up without insisting it conform to any particular shape beyond writing for 5 minutes… go. write. now.

I’m using the “5for5BrainDump” model which grants a person the gift of 5 minutes of timed writing to dump whatever comes onto the page without editing, forethought or judgment. What appears on the page and out of the rambling mind is remarkable.

These thoughts are posted unedited and will occasionally include an extra session or two to get to the depth the person feels necessary. Sometimes, the person (in many cases myself) backs away from the writing because… it is uncomfortable, she feels like something is about to crack open or she becomes bored and drifts away momentarily.

It is important to give license to stop and continue, stumble and continue, rant and scream and cry… and continue. This continuing is where the transformation happens.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist  whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

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Darkness: Courage & Being Open to What’s Best

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“In order for the moonflower to completely open, it has to bathe in darkness. I am not a big fan of the dark. It scares me. Still. Yet I cannot walk by this flower without bowing to it, without putting my face close to its opened-by-the-dark heart.”

I am intimidated at cataloguing times of darkness because not only am I afraid of the dark, I am afraid of stacking up towers of memory that threaten me. Sometimes I feel like my life has been either a long, disappointing not-happily-ending-lifetime movie or actually series of movies because I have so many dark days it is almost comical.

Like my new-still-in-therapy-probation-therapist said, “You are interested in too many things” maybe it is the unprocessed darkness soup I have on my metaphorical stove. Maybe that is it.

Maybe I have never bathed in the separate flavors of darkness soup so they haven’t been able to turn into stepping stones I may rise above so the suction moves me instead into infinitely hellacious quicksand, which I’ve learned doesn’t actually exist in the way we might think it does.

And I edit myself.

I stop myself thinking “Julie, you want to publish this and right now you are sounding more than a little ridiculous. I know Beth the dog is wandering about and I hear the sweet little chirping bird and you, in this downward spiraling rant, are sounding like…. A fire engine rumbling on your front porch without any specific fire to put out but it can smell the smoke, continually, always looking threatening so it just sits there, rumbling, doesn’t even have the siren on.”

My timer goes off signifying I’ve been attempting to make some semblance of form from this dark amorphous blob and it’s time to stop.

Even in this gobbled gook I see threads I may return to for clarity: the darkness soup turned into stepping stone soup. The fire truck, loudly idling. Lots of smoke, no seemingly productive fire.

Do you see anything else of merit I might write my way into more deeply from what I’ve written here?

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Goal Playing: Let’s Make Reaching Our Goals More Fun (and Productive!)

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There is a tendency to forget we have the capacity to make nearly anything and everything fun. Note to self: remember to make this fun and share that giddy, goofy, get-it-done energy with others.

I realized somewhere along my journey of today that I create and reach towards goals much like a child bounces a ball against
the school yard pavement or a child-artist moves her paintbrush freely on a canvas.

I create goals and step into goals because I find it to be great fun.

In my life coaching work I have often suggested to my clients, “Ahh, just throw some spaghetti against the wall. Go ahead, try that out – it isn’t going to hurt anything! And besides, the process itself can be darn funny. Try it… shush, stop your hesitating and just
throw spaghetti!”

This has been so much a part of me that I didn’t even see the uniqueness in my approach.

I like setting wacky goals alongside my serious, world changing goals. You know. just for fun, not for anything else but the sheer joy of creating them and then inviting other “kids” to play along.

I can easily get into the zone when I am being childlike.

Am I possessed or obsessed? No, I am playful.

I am being the otter, sliding around the water, barking and clapping my hands.

I am the monkey, swinging from the branches, hopping over to my friend and running my hands through her fur coat, inviting her to swing with me.

I am the preschooler, carrying toy kitchen accessories around the room, delegating roles, “I am the Mommy, you are the daddy, you are the sister, the brother, the other sister, and you are the puppy” and when the other sister would rather be the Aunt Millie, I shrug, and smile and ok and when the puppy gets bored and wants to build with blocks, I smile and wave her away to go have fun doing something else.

No attachment, no worry, no hurt feelings, no drama or added meaning.

To me my goals provide crystal clear, joy-filled play.

Here’s a surprise – for some of you.

Our world changing, deeply serious goals may be brought into reality more quickly and effectively if we play with them first.

Seriously play.

Natalie Angier wrote “along with love and a good joke, playfulness seems like something that should not be explained, a brilliant splash of animated joy so sheerly pleasurable to watch and engage in that it is its own justification.”

To me, goal creation, goal reaching, goal tweaking and goal realization fit those words perfectly.

How about you – want to come along with me? Want to wrap yourself up in a costume of choice as we create something engaging and fun?

Come on, you know you do.

I can see that shy or sly grin crossing your face. See my ball, bouncing its way towards you?

Reach for it – your goal, my goal – unattached, joy-filled, possible, passionate.

So glad you are here, playing, creating, being with me right now.

Listen for a little while longer for the specific steps to make the biggest difference for you.

It would be so easy to stick our fingers in our ears and sing so we wouldn’t “hear” the prompting of goals, to-do’sa. What if we were deaf to the forward movement required to bring to life our intentions, dreams, vision, mission, whatever-title-you-choose-to-name-that-‘thing’-that-pulls-you-forward.

This may be a day when you have several “must-do’s” on your agenda, like my friend Shirley did when other people’s request piled up and fun didn’t feel at all possible.

This is a good chance to invoke the Heart/Mind/Goal Game Drizzle.

Even when Shirley was babysitting her grandson at 9 for a couple hours or so, meeting her friends for a play at 6:30ish depending upon the needs of the rest of her family she could make it fun and productive with minimal effort.

Why? Because none of these tasks interfered with her brain/heart drizzle, a fun companion activity to stir up that day or any day.
One of the grand things about this plan is I don’t have to complete it today and if I somehow slip up, I can return at any time on any day and claim a do-over and simply begin again. I can’t think of anything that soothes me more to know right now.

Here’s how the Drizzle Works:

1. Close your eyes and put your right hand over your heart.

2. Take a couple nice deep breaths, focused on clearing out any traces of negativity you may be feeling.

3. With your eyes closed and your negativity cleared, ask yourself silently, “What would be the best choices for me to make this month in order to reach my goals (be a good mother, make the world a better place, contribute to my community, get into better shape, put whichever fits the best for you here.)?

4. Allow yourself to continue to breathe in silence for even just 15 seconds.

5. Go about your day and when you think of it, repeat the question either silently or aloud.

6. Be aware of any thoughts that come into your awareness throughout the day that relate back to your initial question. To make this step extra fun, I’ve been known to actually shout-out “Thank you!” which made my children laugh when they were little. Now it makes me laugh with me.

7. At night, sit with your notebook or a big sheet of paper and write or doodle whatever comes up without pre-thinking or forcing it, just ask the question again and let yourself go onto the paper.

8. Let the continued questioning and heart opening and playful energy drizzle your loving, playful plan into being without effort, without angst and with heaps of joyful celebration.

9. Repeat these steps for up to three days to create a firm foundation for your goals (or whatever you want to name them) for your next week, month or quarter.

Shirley devised a life changing plan the last time she took on the Heart-Mind-Drizzle Goal Play. Now it’s your turn.

I help people – mostly creative entrepreneurs or those who hope to become creative entrepreuneurs, like Shirley and life you – to end writers blocks and barriers to communication by providing methods and means to allow their words to flow, finally, freely and without judgment.

We then take that they’ve written by using the #5for5BrainDump method I created – writing a mere five minutes a day for five days a week – to become a “something” tangible. It might be an article or blog post or a poem or a chapter of a book or a screenplay or a sales letter. It might be a Ted Talk or a way to start a conversation with a lover or a business partner. It might just be what it is – a stream of consciousness ramble that eventually morphs into a bridge to that place the writer has always dreamed of being but she didn’t know ever existed so she was unable to put it into words until… she did.

We continue to build on this “something” together either with me one-on-one or in a larger community of creative entrepreneurs – and in time, a new Creative Life is born.

The people who work with me, these creative entrepreneurs, discover a place where they fit in and are appreciated. It is so fun to watch the smiles spread across their faces and their words to rain in gusty storms like monsoons and sometimes just a slow, sweet mist… and at times… the sunshine takes over and we rest and bask in it.

Sometimes what we start with is not at all what we eventually create, but this new Creative Life – and the way it feels, remains strong and firm and delectable.

Each one uniquely quirky, each one jagged and smooth, whole hearted and angry – content, happy-sad, morbid and silly.

Light and dark and back and forth again.

All of this written from a prompt from a blog post I wrote in 2007 in a time of deep sadness:

“In order for the moonflower to completely open, it has to bathe in darkness. I am not a big fan of the dark. It scares me. Still. Yet I can not walk by this flower without bowing to it, without putting my face close to its opened-by-the-dark heart.”

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist  whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming soon.

  To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at .

  Check out the links below to follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing. 

 

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Writing Prompt inspired by Jack Kerouac: Your Memories + Awe = #5for5BrainDump Magic

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Jack Kerouac said, “Write in recollection and amazement of yourself.” This is a territory ripe for self reflection.

Let’s do this.

First, make a list of 5 times in your life when your actions surprised you.

Scan your list to consider and ultimately choose the one time that is the most appealing for you to write about today. Set your timer for five minutes and write, starting with the prompt, “I remember….”

Note: if that first attempt falls flat and your words don’t flow, try a different memory.

Oftentimes there is something in the way of writing from the first memory and the simple act of completing your writing from another memory will ignite writing flow for both.

Bonus: Share your writing experience with at least one other person today.

NOTE: if you would like to participate in a Writing Community, I would love to invite you to be a part of the Word-Love Writing Community I facilitate on Facebook.

 

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist  whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

 To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Check out the links below to follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.

 

 

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Decide to Make Progress: Tenacity and Abundant Love

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“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can change and control your life; the procedure, the process is its own reward.”

Amelia Earhart

I can’t remember how many times I’ve said to my children, “Here I go… faster than a speeding bullet!” and then I stay immobile. I think it started when I was pregnant with Samuel and felt enormous and weighted down with “oh my goodness how will I do this?” and somehow it has stuck all these years later.

For me it isn’t as much the decision to act, but combining the decision to act with the movement itself. I appreciate what Amelia says here and she is certainly a model for decision making and managing risk – but for me it goes one step further.

Fears are paper tigers, Amelia said. (Note – paper tigers are defined as “a person or thing that appears threatening but is ineffectual.”)

Maybe the gold lives in letting go of “oh my goodness how will I do this?” and settling instead into the forward movement, even when I don’t know how. Moving my pencil when I don’t know what it will point out in me, making the phone call when I don’t want to hear the voice on the other end, tying my shoes, stepping out the door and taking the first, second, third, forty second and beyond step.

“Decide” needs to carry an action with it. What popped into my head just now is the first syllable is picking up the foot and the second syllable is the locomotion, the movement, the forward in the direction that calls.

What if for the next few days (or hours even) I reward myself for the process rather than the result. My process here went like this:

  1. I realized I hadn’t done my #5for5BrainDump session.
  2. I wanted to keep my streak going of writing and publishing daily.
  3. I rationalized, thinking how smug I was about writing my morning pages and getting started on a Top 10 list.
  4. “But that isn’t publishing” my writing angel reminded me. “That isn’t brain dumping into blog post.”
  5. I took all the necessaries to move from deciding into action into finished project.

My timer went off, so I am going to go to my website dashboard and prep a page as efficiently as possible. (I did it! less than ten minutes later, here you are loves! Offered with tenacity, a sprinkling of daring and buckets of love.)

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist  whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Check out the links below to follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.

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Secret Hint to Making The Most from Your Brain Dump Experience

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Two memorable conversations keep popping into my head as I begin to write:

  1. Never go to bed angry.
  2. Love means never having to say you’re sorry.

I don’t know that I whole heartedly agree (or disagree, actually) with either of them.

I agree, it is better for our overall feelings of positivity and gratitude if we fall asleep in a state of contented curiosity rather than angry lament, but sometimes the energy of anger clears out a lot of gunk – or is that just our habitual way of experiencing the world?

I could talk (write) myself into a corner with this one and perhaps that is part of the point my subconscious and writing practice is making here.

We make it a practice to complete our brain dumps and free flow writing with thirty seconds of gratitude and praise about anything: what you may have discovered and uncovered during writing or anything at all. The point is to finish the writing practice on an emotional upswing.

If we always ended our writing practice feeling like garbage most of us would give up our writing practice. It is natural to want to feel better.

We don’t want to feel like crap, we inherently want to feel well or at least better than when we sat down to write.

Maybe part of your gratitude IS saying you are sorry.

Love and forgiveness go hand-in-hand as do love and gratitude.

Admitting our weaknesses – is a pathway to wholeness and gratitude.

(And the timer tells me five minutes is up – so this concludes today’s entry about one of my favorite secrets to always ending on an upbeat note, thus preserving the practice that is such a grand, sustaining partner in my life.)

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

 Follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.

 

 

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What is Calling You to Attention: Write it out to Make Positive Change in Your Life Now

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Last week I wrote for five minutes using this prompt image I created.

Mondays are my day to “pay attention” oftentimes after weekends which are prone to distraction.

I have only made minor edits to my “in the moment” writing using the #5for5BrainDump method.

There are so many distractions as I sit here and attempt to write for five minutes about awakening love for my writing process. I see a broom and want to sweep, I look at the clock and I want to assemble lunch for my children and get out into the money making flow “hurry it up hurry it up hurry it up!” I heaer in my inner ear. Oh, Lord I can’t do it all – my anxiety reaches for my throat to shut my voice – my writing voice – down.

Five minutes. That’s all.

My fingers continue to move, on the keyboard focused.

Reawaken love for the process.

Let go of end result. Welcome bad or mediocre or lukewarm results. (Youch!) Yes, even lukewarm.

Awaken to the process being enough. This is so un-pilgrim-esque: there must be results.  My inside habits shriek!

There must be a something in order to continue I can’t just continue for a nothing that makes no sense.

*Note to self: the results come from the on-going practice. When I re-read this five minute writing, I discover content possibilities even in this short chunk of writing. I find instantly solutions for people who seek my programs, my coaching, my books and courses.

Oh, yeah, there’s that.

Process is worth all of the wonder and exhilaration of  what other peole call “results” that I have had as a part of writing for five minutes a day – being on a best seller list or having twenty five people pay a thousand dollars to hear me speak.

People are pushing me and I am welcoming it.

My community is rising up to greet me and say “Bring your work forward with and for us” it is almost surreal, beloveds, almost surreal.”

If it was a job.

Is it still less than five minutes?

I hear the coffee pot call me, the coffee pot that has been creating really tasty coffee lately.

I think of the squirrel and planning and play. And me. And love. And movement.

And applause. All that in five minutes.

Now it is YOUR turn to write. Ready?

Set your timer for five minutes. I use the online timer under this link here.    

Now look back up at the image and either hand write the prompt or type it into a document. Press go on your timer. No editing, no forethought, just writing. Now.

You’ve got this… What is calling for my attention is…. 

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Check out the links below to follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.

 

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This Exact Gratitude: Origin Unknown – Result? Remarkable

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The date of this exact gratitude list that gave birth to this (nearly over) mini-retreat/soulful social media quiet time is unclear. I remember sitting in my car, scribbling the list  it – but exactitude? It won’t matter in the long run. It doesn’t even matter now, a week or so later.

I wrote:

I am grateful for the ability to communicate.

I am grateful for the beauty of words.

I am grateful for the people who read the words I toss, cry and mindfully set down upon blue lined paper.

I am grateful for whatever it is I manage to create today (because I know I will. Eventually anyway.)

I am grateful to know I will not judge quantity or quality or relevance of the words and objects I create today.

I am grateful I am able to move my pen across the page. I am grateful words fall off the tip so effortlessly.

I am grateful there are papers to catch the words I write in cursive (and it looks pretty!) I’m grateful for pencil sharpeners.

I am grateful for crape myrtle trees and finches and mourning doves.

I am grateful for enthusiastic young people (I sound like an old farm-hand) who just got promoted who still have a vision for their lives that includes accepting whatever happens with grace and building upon those circumstances, whichever, with grace.

Today I am grateful for the years I have been writing and sharing consistently. That “old stuff” is so current, so accessible and ready.

It created the plan and execution of that plan. Edit to evolve and the mighty, beneficent yes shines through.

My mission is to daily “gather our word-love community to collaborate and create a ritual, path, method to save/preserve/curate and continue to breathe heart into our collective life work.”

Daily, recognize and claim my place as a singular and sacred expression of life itself and a gift from the divine to the world – meant for taking action with passionate gratitude to join the flow because I know this world is a place of healing, wonder and wholeness where all know each one is welcome.

= = =

Since I re-visited this time of creative process last Wednesday, I have repeated these declarations and oh, have they ever helped me not only in my daily direction, but also in casting my future and present vision.

This exact gratitude list may have unknown origins, but the continued growth and rebirth as a result of gratitude is blanketing my life. It is grounding me and lifting me toward heaven.

It’s been a while since I felt like this.

Today I am remembering and standing on this strength to continue as I declare daily: I recognize and claim my place as a singular, unique and sacred expression of life itself and a gift from the divine to the world – meant for taking action with passionate gratitude to join the flow because I know this world is a place of healing, wonder and wholeness where all know each one is welcome.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Check out the links above to follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.

 

 

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Writer’s Affirmation in Practice – “My Writing Flows Easily”…..

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This is an example of what happens using the #5for5braindump method of writing. I needed to write and it wasn’t flowing so I borrowed an earlier affirmation and instantly the words flowed and had a new insight right at the end. Fantastic!

“My writing flows easily. I deserve to feel excellent about what I create now and always.”

I know there is a disconnect between my satisfaction and my completion of my creative projects. I know it is garbled and jagged and twisted where it used to be easier to sort through and act like the Nike Slogan, “Just do it” and I also know – with absolutely clarity – my creative production and satisfaction was much higher when I took moments in time to create with laser-beam intensity.

“My writing flows easily. I deserve to feel excellent about what I create now and always.”

I allow myself that intensity when I let go completely of other people’s needs and allow the deep contentment of focused writing (conversation, love-making, sketching) even if it is only for a five-minute time segment, my whole being perks up when I say “YES! Take five and create, do, make something now, with love passion and focus.”

What throws me off is my cluttered workspace and I can’t find THE exact pencil or the notebook that has that just right quote or…. For my daughter it is when her absolute right outfit is in the laundry basket rather than hanging up in her closet, ready to be worn.

I almost stopped to “think” when actually I think what I was doing was critiquing myself either for not being a better laundress or a better daughter-laundress trainer. Literally that thought has made my stomach gurgle.

See how easy it is to get caught up in self-recrimination?

My five minutes are up.

Even though my stomach hurts now and it didn’t before, I feel better.

“My writing flows easily. I deserve to feel excellent about what I create now and always.”

 

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How to End Writer’s Block with Another Episode of… the 5 Minute Miracle

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I oftentimes make comments like “I don’t believe in blocks” and “blocks are a mindset thing, switch your mind, block evaporates” and yet here I sit, today, troubled and uncomfortable and squirmy and wishing I could be doing anything in the world EXCEPT writing about blocks but the little inner creativity coach who lives in my chest beside my heart says “Write for five minutes, just the magical five and you will feel better when it’s over than you do right now.”

I set my timer and wrote…

I will feel better, I will feel better I will feel better.

A few minutes ago I was in my backyard, sweeping my driveway. Haven’t done that in much longer than I should have. I swept my walk way yesterday and asked the question, “What would it take to make this a daily practice so that I could see it as a creative endeavor, like writing, which I do almost every day without fail because I enjoy it and it helps me feel better and every once in a while people say I am good at it and…”

WRITING INTERRUPTED BY PHONE AND RETURNED, 30 or so minutes later…

I swept my mulberry trees profuse berries from my neighbor’s driveway because my neighbors are bothered by purple splotches on their driveway and perhaps, the residue on their shoes as a result which brings resultant purple blue into their home.

I did it out of care, this time, not anger as I had in the past.

I had a quick and strong impulse to ask forgiveness from my neighbors and not to make an excuse but to open the conversation to some of the struggles I’ve experienced over the past few years.

Would this help in understanding?

So here’s how it went – My phone went off so my five minutes was interrupted quite suddenly, and now, about forty minutes later I am back and thinking how these interruptions are one of the building materials blocks are made up of – the mortar, the stone work, the inner cords of steel and beams framing it all.

I was anxious when I started and now I feel calmer and the idea I have an option to be vulnerable and speak up to my neighbors is a big one. Also, coming with an energy of seeking forgiveness rather than being angry at them is huge.

The magical five minutes of writing, even broken in two, works miracles again.

 

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