Writing Tips – Creative Life Midwife

Into Silence: Choosing Quiet in Order to Discern What’s the Most Effective Next Step –

July 17, 2017 by jjscreativelifemidwife Leave a Comment

“That perfect tranquility of life, which is nowhere to be found but in retreat, a faithful friend and a good library.”

Aphra Behn

She was right. Aphra Behn, I mean. She was actually right in more ways than one.

She was right to make a living via writing: the first woman to do so writing in English, Her writing was seen as bawdy and improper and therefore – in my eyes – absolutely perfect and appropriate.

She wrote to get out of debt. She wrote because her other way of making money; as a spy for Surinam, didn’t quite work out as she had hoped.

She was also right in her assessment of taking personal retreats when one needs to experience tranquility, which is what I will be seeking over this next week.

I am taking retreat to assess, to plan, to care take myself, my children, my home and my business.

I will be publicly silent and privately, intensely sacred.

I can’t imagine not checking in with my “people” – and I know when I come back in a week I will feel refreshed, revitalized and more likely than not have a whole batch of fresh content and ideas to share with you about writing, the creative process and leading your most remarkable life.

Now we both have something to look forward to, yes?

With Great Love,

Julie

Take a mini retreat in the canyon, perhaps… or in a local park.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world. She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Check out Julia’s social media links above to follow her channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.

Writer’s Affirmation in Practice – “My Writing Flows Easily”…..

July 13, 2017 by jjscreativelifemidwife Leave a Comment

This is an example of what happens using the #5for5braindump method of writing. I needed to write and it wasn’t flowing so I borrowed an earlier affirmation and instantly the words flowed and had a new insight right at the end. Fantastic!

“My writing flows easily. I deserve to feel excellent about what I create now and always.”

I know there is a disconnect between my satisfaction and my completion of my creative projects. I know it is garbled and jagged and twisted where it used to be easier to sort through and act like the Nike Slogan, “Just do it” and I also know – with absolutely clarity – my creative production and satisfaction was much higher when I took moments in time to create with laser-beam intensity.

“My writing flows easily. I deserve to feel excellent about what I create now and always.”

I allow myself that intensity when I let go completely of other people’s needs and allow the deep contentment of focused writing (conversation, love-making, sketching) even if it is only for a five-minute time segment, my whole being perks up when I say “YES! Take five and create, do, make something now, with love passion and focus.”

What throws me off is my cluttered workspace and I can’t find THE exact pencil or the notebook that has that just right quote or…. For my daughter it is when her absolute right outfit is in the laundry basket rather than hanging up in her closet, ready to be worn.

I almost stopped to “think” when actually I think what I was doing was critiquing myself either for not being a better laundress or a better daughter-laundress trainer. Literally that thought has made my stomach gurgle.

See how easy it is to get caught up in self-recrimination?

My five minutes are up.

Even though my stomach hurts now and it didn’t before, I feel better.

“My writing flows easily. I deserve to feel excellent about what I create now and always.”

Writers & Creatives: Passionate Detachment MAY be Your Best Friend –

July 6, 2017 by jjscreativelifemidwife Leave a Comment

I started writing this as a five minute brain dump (#5for5BrainDump) and then discovered… I hadn’t started my timer. Nonetheless, I loved the content so here it is – unedited and raw but about ten minutes worth.

I wrote from the quote you see below –

“Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be obtained only by someone who is detached. ”
― Simone Weil

Passionate Detachment is a theory/term I made up roughly fifteen years ago from a conversation with a painting contractor while we talked about small running backs one hot day in Bakersfield.

I’m sure there are similar concepts but I enjoy the paradox and how it sounds, the variety of vowels and consonants.

Passionate detachment: going for your goal with all you’ve got and not being attached to the results of your efforts. Be entranced, delighted and full throttle, like the five-foot-six-inch high school running back who puts his head down and runs right through the huge defensive linemen and heads toward the end zone without worrying about the two-hundred-pound tackle launched in his direction.

Sports analogies work in the US.

It is the painter who splashes paint for hours on end on her masterpiece, not concerned with commercial endeavors yet knowing if this painting resonates with the right audience and her art dealer gets this painting in front of the right people it will change EVERYTHING and yet she just goes for it – she may have visualized and strategized and held countless meetings but the bottom line is she loves how the paint smells and how it feels to move it on the canvas, how the expression on that face she just created reminds her of her first grade teacher, Miss Foley, when she told her “Happy Mother’s Day” with the sweet purity of a seven-year-old who loves her single-not-a-parent-yet-teacher-who-obviously –loves-children.

Passionate detachment says “I will go after success AND I will do what I love, regardless of how wacky some people may think I am in doing so.”

Passionate detachment says, “Make that slightly offbeat declaration about your plans on Facebook in front of everyone you know (and a few people you met once in passing who friended you) and then, by gosh and by golly, take action in the direction of that wild dream no one thinks you will ever really do.

Passionate detachment says, “I don’t know how I’m going to do this, but I am going to start because I know Plato once said something like ‘The beginning is the most important part of the work’ and if I just talk about beginning but don’t actually start, it is worth nothing. And my vision and I are both worth a whole lot of something so here… I…. “ and then, the passionately detached person takes that leap.

She moves her pencil on the blank page. He makes that phone call to that investor he met while riding pool on Uber in Los Angeles. They sign that contract to rent that space for the event they have wanted to hold and place the ad and talk to five more people than they’re comfortable speaking to because they are passionate and they are detached. They know they are worth every action and their vision is worth every small and not-so-small risk.

They are passionately detached.

(Sometimes brain dumps are interrupted by phones ringing and sometimes they end with applause.)

How do you create with passionate detachment?

How to Make Writing More Fun & Effective (Even if You Have Depression)

June 9, 2017 by jjscreativelifemidwife 1 Comment

Confession: I have an ongoing relationship with depression. I am not depressed, I don’t suffer with depression – I have a relationship with depression, one I’ve had since childhood.

It often goes underground and becomes invisible. Occasionally it comes roaring to the surface as it has for well over a year now, but especially evident since January.

As a creative, depression can be especially brutal for me because a big part of my symptomology includes very low motivation and flat affect. This morning I sat at my desk and I willed myself to write and in the process it occurred to me there may be many of you out there in a similar situation.

What I was reminded of this morning is the effectiveness of creating mini-writing goals and games to move me from a space of not-writing to writing.

The net result? I feel better. I would love nothing more at this point than to know I helped someone else feel better, too. I offer these suggestions as possibilities. Please try them on and write with them, at least for a day or two or maybe even three.

Let’s Play Writing Games with Goals (and feel better in the process.)

1. Make your writing goal game as simple as possible: write one sentence. Then another, then another. Often with depression we can’t even begin to state a goal like we can when we are not feeling depressed. That once shining, glittering project gets fuzzy and grows into your scariest version of the abominable snow man and the loch ness monster combined. Your first writing goal? Write five sentences on the same topic. Doesn’t matter if it is a paragraph and it doesn’t matter if it makes sense. Five sentences. Period.
Find one person to report to daily or almost daily. Be sure to determine if that person is a match for you. I had an accountability partner briefly but her energy literally stressed me out more than I was so it wouldn’t work at that moment in time. Find a compassionate person who has your best interest at heart who is capable of holding a flashlight alongside you to illuminate your greatest accomplishments, not the glaring weaknesses you may be prone to see first and foremost, always.
When your own words are exceptionally stubborn, search for quotes on topics you would normally be inspired to write about and then hand write those quotes into your notebook or journal. It may sound odd, but copying good writing often leads to writing your own good writing. Perhaps pick up a favorite novel and start copying a favorite scene from it, word by word by word. This is a writer’s block medicine that works every time. Don’t think it will? Try it, without attachment and let me know what happens.
Write what is around you in the precise moment you sit down to write. Allow yourself to have fun with what is around you. This morning, I wrote this while trying to figure out what to write:

I heard my coffee maker call out, “Come get your cup! Drink it! Feel better!” so I think I will. I can hear the sprinkler outside the window and if I close my eyes I can feel the moisture in the air against my skin and pretend I’m close to the ocean or river or a like, maybe, rather than my Bakersfield living room.

I started the day working, aiming to be pleasant and gracious when I wasn’t feeling it, whittling away time with people I didn’t want to be with in exchange for a few dollars as I contemplated sunrise and the possibility of exchanging my time for a substitute teaching gig.

I think about my writing goals – actually my goals in general, and I think about what one might do to light that passion fire again, to once again see the potential in a project one once loved and since has sputtered out – victim of lack of oxygen and fuel.

I sit with my hands under my chin, my eyes closed, and realize I could easily choose to fall back to sleep, to let my mind go numb again but something nudges me from the inside to continue typing, to keep getting words out – to light the way for others so that when they feel less-than-optimal they may read these words and remember there is a better, more companionable way.

5. Be open to enjoyment of the process. Depression is never fun and moments within it may actually be exactly the light we need to begin feeling better. When I actually write, I almost always feel better later. If you need help with this, we will be doing #5for5BrainDump livestream sessions on my Periscope Channel for the next two weeks. These WILL help you to write.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world. She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Choose to Be Awake: Laughter, Meditation, Writing (& Writing Prompt)

May 16, 2017 by jjscreativelifemidwife Leave a Comment

Last night I sat in a group meditation and had the unbelievable desire to roll around on the floor laughing. In my heartful imagination I was, in fact, rolling around on the floor, laughing. My mind took over, though, believing this was wholly unpleasant for all the others gathered stoically on the floor so peacefully.

I held my laughter in my smile and in my mind, probably not being the perfect meditator sitting with my mind and heart wide open like…

Yet my mind is wide awake and open when I roll on the ground laughing “hysterically” isn’t it?

I sit at my desk and laugh a bit to see how it really feels to laugh even jovially.

(My free writing genie says “How many ways are there to laugh? How many ways are there to describe a ‘brand’ of laughter? Good prompt, dear one, good prompt!)

When I laugh my core gets a workout, automatically. I don’t have to think about it and today, I think to put my hands on my belly not to hold it but to almost worship it? Dare I worship my own (the culture I swim in says too round) belly?

I think I’ll try that again. How about you try it with me.

Hands on belly and…. Giggle, laugh, chuckle.

I notice when I “try” to laugh, the top of my belly shakes a bit but when I am suddenly caught with a memory that turns the laughter toward truth, more of my body is involved. I throw my head back and my hair tickles my shoulders. I can smell the perfume I grazed my skin with after I curlved my hair. I can feel the shaking in my thigh and down my shoulders to my elbows and my hands atop my belly accept the ride like my children did as babies when we played, “I had a little pony and his name was Jack” and they mimicked horse riding in my lap which almost always lead to celebrations of laughter.

After our group meditation I told Lindsay, our leader, there was one point I had a near overwhelming desire to roll around the floor laughing.

Her response, wide eyed and smiling, “That would have been great!”

Remembering the words of William Stafford “A Ritual to Read to Each Other” that inspired this writing today.

“For it is important awake people be awake,

Or a breaking line may discourage them back to sleep:

The signals we give – yes or no, maybe –

Should be clear: the darkness around us is deep.”

Your prompt:

Today I choose to be more awake to….. write for 5 minutes without editing, judgment or forethought. Simply write, let your words float across the page. And if you feel like laughing uncontrollably at any point, permission is always granted here. There are no rights or wrongs, there is just writing.

Here I am writing by the graveside of Louisa May Alcott, the author of Little Women – a highly successful book that hasn’t been out of print for more than 100 years.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world. She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

How the Language of Every Day Creates…. Contentment, A-ha Moments & More

May 16, 2017 by jjscreativelifemidwife Leave a Comment

What would you say if I told you this post was built upon two five minute writing sessions and a life inspired by challenges and overcoming fear, a long held and unrecognized until recently addiction?

Here’s the thing: I believe in writing in 5 minute chunks. This is well documenting. Allowing words to flow and then massaging them later simply works.

In the next paragraph there is a quote by William Stafford. I read this quote and a poem (tomorrow a video of me reading it will be at the bottom of this post) and the rest of the words tumbled forth, musical notes accompanied by a five-minute exercise I created called the #5for5BrainDump.

Join me, now, on this word adventure.

“When you make a poem you merely speak or write the language of every day, capturing as many bonuses as possible and economizing on losses; that is, you come aware to what always goes on in language, and you use it to the limit of your ability and your power of attention to the moment.”

William Stafford

I challenged myself to write poetry this time: no institution or celebratory month is guiding me.

It is purely my desire to practice, my will to dig more deeply, bring to life my idea that poetry creation might help me to figure stuff out a little bit better than… not.

I have a word pool (a collection of words to stir up the process and serve as a sort of paint-on-a-writing-palette and my timer is moving.

Grind groove habit hang up “into” manner matter of course mode observance.

It (fear) comes upon me it seems without warning, like the breeze suddenly lifting my hair from my shoulders

Flirting with me, making me feel more than slightly feminine and deep inside my core whispers, “You are a girl, this is what it is, sink into that feeling of something else moving your hair, giving you that weightless out of control oh, doesn’t that feel just right” feeling and I stop, my stomach beginning to churn, “no, it isn’t like that it isn’t like that.”

Is it like the way you feel when you are dancing, grooving, moving your body in a way that feels slightly to the left of heaven and full steam ahead into paradise when you catch someone looking with the eyebrow raised just so and the tongue on the tip of the cluck so you skip a beat and stop and slow and sludge becomes the order of the day and you forget you love to dance and you certainly don’t get anything except regret back anytime soon.

It is a matter of course then? An item on the daily to-do?

Feel fear and be paralyzed, all the time?

How to invite fear and expand it horizontally and vertically in 5 simple blood curdling steps?

Take five doses of fear daily and be sure to get nowhere in life except frightened. Repeat doses daily, add another dosage if nothing happens.

I almost stop typing because it is so preposterous and I know the adage of “what we focus on grows” so I remind myself, “This is just a game.”

Passionate Possibilities otherwise known as my week long Daily to-do list:

When I feel fear creep into my space, take note of it. Pre-program responses such as these to say internally and aloud if it helps. . “Fear – I see you for who you are. You are not welcome here. Good bye! Today, I choose courage.”

When I feel fear creep into my space, I will feel my feet on the ground – every inch of connection noted to the floor, the carpet, the sand, the grass, the concrete and I will express gratitude for the feeling of connection. I will repeat, “Today, I choose courage.”

When I feel fear mocking my femininity through seduction or flirtation, I will note it and remember the potent heroes and sheroes of the feminine. I will reach my hands out and build a bridge with them. I will affirm myself, “This is a bridge over fear to courage. Today, I choose peace.” (The word after today I choose may change according to what feels the most resonant with that day.)

My five-minute-timer went off about three minutes ago.

I elected to continue writing because the insights were continuing to be born. I knew actively giving them space would net more benefit for me and for you, my readers, so I chose to stay with it because today I am choosing courage, peace, poetry and you and me.

Who will be brave enough to tell me about your fear or better yet, who else is brave enough to begin building that bridge from fear into courage?

Maybe you’ve built it partially before or maybe you just haven’t used the bridge you once built and it requires some slight adjustments.

In any and all of those cases, know I am here to listen, to sit alongside you and together we have the passion and collective power to craft intentionally toward your most vivid, aligned with your vision future.

To request an appointment with me to talk, text or message about my programs and upcoming possibilities, please fill out the contact form on my website.

The world is waiting for your words: you are worth taking the time to gain clarity and get your voice on the page and into the world now.

Coming Up: 30 Days of Writing Passionately

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world. She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-mediaartist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming through the end of 2017.

Love & Fear & Pain and How Writing Always Provides a Path to Feeling Better: Every Single Time

May 5, 2017 by jjscreativelifemidwife Leave a Comment

It happened again today, something happened that I long to write about but I don’t want to write because I don’t want to feel the pain of it.

I am still awake at 2:01 am. A fly is buzzing about my otherwise quiet room and I may open the window to tune into a bird who is singing outside the window, or was, before I attempted to construct this sentence.

I open the windows, I set my timer and the bird no longer sings.

A car drives by, a candle flickers next to me: no bird song.

What a moment ago brought infinite delight may so easily be clouded by unnecessary thought pollution: “I did something wrong, I didn’t appreciate the bird so the bird flew away. Perhaps the mulberries went stale from the power of complaints about them earlier today. My neighbor hates my mulberry tree and probably hates birds, too. Especially when they poop purple.”

I take my hands off the keyboard.

I listen to the silence, coaxing the bird back.

Here’s the thing: I can’t coax the bird back, I can only coax myself back to the keyboard, one word at a time. I remembered earlier today throughout the day, “I feel better when I write.”

The several days ago version of me must have known this version of me would be appearing, the version of me that gets buried in sadness, that gets tugged at by insecurity and worry and fear.

I was startled by the sound of applause, my timer setting announcing my five minutes of writing is done.

I examine my fingers, distraction addiction, and I decide to “re-up” for a second five minutes, focusing on love. Love as a prompt, I think, toning “love” in between sentences, phrases and quotes of love.

Like the Beatles singing, “All you need is love…” and the cynical version of me shoves a raspberry in her mouth and blows out in disagreement, blotting the thought from my consciousness. Love: is a many splendored thing.

I don’t understand lyrics and writing like that. What is a “splendored thing” anyway?
Reminds me of the many ways NOT to use jargon in writing. Splendid I understand, superb I get. These are good, more than adequate.

Splendored is silly almost junior high aged attempt to be smart sounding?

Love is. Love IS! That’s the perfect love sentence and in fact, is quite grounding.

Love is patient, as Paul says. Love is kind. Love is purple – lavender, the color of sunrise and sunset and transitions. Love will keep you steady during transitions and times of difficulty. Love sometimes leans in and holds you when you need it. Sometimes love wants to show you a slightly different way and you might even feel hurt by it (like the… and the applause comes again and I decided to stop before I ramble down that lane that might come across as negative.

It is 2:14. The time twice a day that remembers Valentine’s Day.

As almost always, I feel better now than when I started. Which is why I write and suggest, so strongly, other people write, too. Just let your words flow, don’t worry about grammar or syntax or rules you long ago learned and forgot.

Just move your pencil, your pen, your fingers on the keyboard.

And now I have a writing prompt for tomorrow.

Things just keep getting better.

The Literary Grannies Rise Because…. They Want Us to Be Free

May 2, 2017 by jjscreativelifemidwife Leave a Comment

It isn’t a secret I love literary grannies: women writers who forged a path so that my words would be more respected than they might have been without them. I’ve written about them, I’ve visited many homes and gravesites and workspaces.

I’ve shared their work, I’ve fangirled their books, I’ve searched for photos, made jewelry and mixed media art emblazoned with their faces. I love these women similar to how I have crushes on Albert Schweitzer and Henry David Thoreau.

Recently I’ve been thinking about my literary grannies more and more and after finding the opening quote from Anne Sexton, it only seemed right to continue my thoughts in poem form.

I created this prompt as well – which you may also see in my Instragram Feed or on my Writing Camp with JJS facebook page.

For The Others

“I am a collection of dismantled almosts.”
― Anne Sexton,

Have you heard the debate about 13 reasons why?

I wonder what Anne would say?

I wonder how Sylvia would spin it?

I wonder what Virginia and Sara might chime in when people made statements like “don’t watch” or “you must watch” or “we must talk about this” we must break down the walls.

A slight mist of a memory taps on my fingers.

“Remember Mr. Riordan (not exactly his name – the context here has given him a pseudonym(

gave your paper to the student teacher to grade.

Did she ever say anything to anyone about the story I wrote?

The story of suicide? The months later when I hid in a closet rather than go to school?”

No one said depression back then. No one suggested I might be fragile.

Might benefit from having someone of my own to talk to.

Someone who would listen without being afraid of what might dissolve

If I gave it voice.

My life now, becoming a love letter to her from the future.

I was a collection of dismantled almosts, like Anne.

And like Sylvia, I know the value of expecting nothing from anybody

Except for myself – now.

“If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed.”

Sylvia Plath

This is for you, Anne.

And you, Virginia.

And you, Charlotte.

And you, Sara.

And you, Sylvia.

This is for the women who remain nameless –

= = =

Sara Teasdale is a favorite poet, a prize winning liteary granny, who committed suicide.

I also wrote this as a facebook status/note after seeing yet another commentary on why we should or shouldn’t watch the controversial Netflix series, “13 Reasons.” Here it is:

I’ve been listening/reading the conversation about “13 Reasons”, the Netflix series about teen suicide. Tonight when I read an article about it and how a counselor at Montclair Public Schools wrote a letter that was sent to all parents in their schools about it.

This reminded me of a short story I wrote in eighth grade about a girl attempting suicide. I got a decent grade, but I remember being disappointed I wasn’t pulled aside to talk. When I hid in a closet for four days during school hours to avoid going to school because I was bullied and taunted, it wasn’t talked about (to me) afterwards either.

After I graduated from Dana Hills high school, four classmates killed themselves. Discussed only in passing.

When Marlena was stillborn and I finally went to therapy and my therapist said the word “depression” in relationship to me I remember hearing my heartbeat crushingly loud in my ears. I could barely hear myself mumble that away. “This is situational…” I think I lasted two more sessions.

We need to talk openly about mental illness and grief. It isn’t drama or manipulation. It isn’t game playing. People with mental illness are not to be avoided and for goodness sakes, don’t ignore them – we all deserve to be heard. When I am in a depressed phase, having no one talk with me is beyond words sad.

I’m sleepy. Just wanted to say this before I went to sleep.

http://www.cnn.com/…/13-reasons-why-teen-suicide-debate-ex…/

Virginia Woolf and her sisters. She also died due to suicide.

Take a mini retreat in the canyon, perhaps… or in a local park.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world. She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-mediaartist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming through the end of 2016.

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735

How to Create Positive Stories: Slice of Life to Spectacular Living

January 17, 2017 by jjscreativelifemidwife Leave a Comment

Take your everyday life experiences and turn them into story moments. Why get angry when you may spin a positive tale and just feel better?

I texted. A quick response was sent in return.

I texted again, this time, no response. Repeated again, no response. Again I waited.

I could have chosen to get angry and upset. I could have made a fist and dramatically tossed it around lamenting my student’s irresponsibility and my own, for waiting until the last minute to wash the PE clothes my son forgot to take to school and here I am wasting my time instead of being productive and OH MY GAWSH this is horrid….

Instead of fretting, I created a positive, silly story.

I created. I made something – I made the waiting fun instead of annoying.

This is what storytellers do. We don’t wait for “the big thing” to fall into our laps, we walk around scouting stories. We connect with people, ask questions, laugh, and engage. In today’s world, we sometimes use social media to further the process along.

Here, a day in the life – that goes awry when… the forgotten PE clothes faux pas comes to light.

Here it is, briefly, in this short video – my morning, before the clothes were discovered at home. And then, after my exchanges with the folks at school.

Can you relate to these vignettes? Here’s more of the specifics underneath the brief video.

The time came when I had to go into the school office. I stood, waiting to chat with the secretary and noticed it. A proclamation from the Assistant Principal declaring leaving items for students was banned. I held the PE clothes in my hands, carefully hidden contents in a bag that has now been banned from the state of California.

My first hurdle: the discovered proclamation and the secretary.

My strategy: provide a solution, be polite and pleasant so I increase the chances of getting my way.

“Good morning! My son left his PE clothes this morning and I need to get them to him.”

She looked at me blankly, “Unfortunately we have a new policy….” she directed her eyes toward the letter I had noticed from the assistant principal.

“Oh, does that mean I can’t go to the Dean’s office and leave them? I’ve done that before this year…” I attempted to look non-chalant as I lobbed strategy number one her way.

“Go ahead then,” agreed the secretary, sounding perhaps slightly disgruntled.

“I have done it since November, I didn’t know about the policy,” I said, commiserating with her.

“No one does,” she lamented. “No one.”

I signed in, happily. Took my picture to get my badge, happily. I commented how much I liked my photo and joked more with the secretary.

My strategy worked! I was in!

Off to the Dean’s office.

Hurdle: Their allegiance with the administration may cause them to balk at my request.

Strategy: Pull the austism card if necessary. Be extra polite and understanding. Smile.

“Good morning!” (Upbeat voice, smile.) “I’m sorry, I know the policy about not dropping things here for our students but…”

“What policy?” asked the friendly Dean’s Office secretary.

I explained the policy and she, surprisingly, didn’t seem to care much and asked my student’s name. I told her.

“Oh, I know Samuel!” she said happily.

“Yeah, he turns his phone off at school, he follows the rules to a T so I couldn’t even let him know I’m here.”

“You’re fine! I’ll take care of it,” she said. She also told me about a special class they’re starting to help special needs students. She had a connection with me and wanted to share.

“That’s such a great idea,” I continued. “I bet parents will find real value in that.” (Sincere thought.)

I literally skipped back to the office to check out with my new best friend, the secretary.

The end of the story is I made an important connection for my volunteer work and parenting. I plan to go back tomorrow with some materials for my Parent Club AND I imagine myself to be a positive highlight to the ever undervalued secretary’s day.

While I was in process of creating this post I created even more story, shared my #5for5BrainDump on snap chat which I’ll repurpose into other promotions which will help the world get better when people continue to communicate more clearly.

This is SUCH perfection, all in quick, fun, quirky slivers of storytelling. I’ll take it!

I could have chosen to be angry, frustrated, mad at my child and myself and the school and instead, I created a win-win-win-many times over win again – just like you may, too.

End Your Fear of Criticism: Improve Your Work, Your Writing, Your Art Now

December 27, 2016 by jjscreativelifemidwife Leave a Comment

Don’t let fear take over your best work. Befriend criticism to take improve your work and have a bigger impact.

One of the most worrisome challenges for many writers and artists is the fear of criticism.

I want to prove to you I know criticism well. There was this time when criticism hurt the most. Here’s what happened.

I thought the work I had done was brilliant. I was ready to perform and wow everyone. I couldn’t wait for “sure to follow” praise.

What I wasn’t expecting was to have the work I had done fail from my acting teacher’s perspective

Instead, the critique came labeled absolute failure. Could the criticism be any worse?

My teacher told me to lie down on my back and re-speak my monologue, line for line, with no emotion. He wanted it spoken without emphasis, one sentence at a time.

And I couldn’t cry. I wouldn’t cry. If I cried, that would mean I believed I was a failure and I might not be brave enough to come back to class.

For a cryer-emoter like me, this felt like torture. I was unprepared for the criticism my teacher offered. “I don’t buy it,” he said. “You aren’t being real.”

Eventually I saw this same criticism as an enormous gift.

I did what my teacher told me. I spoke my monologue from the floor. I allowed myself to fail well through criticism and returned to class the next week for more instruction, for more improvement, for more growth as both an actor and as a human. “This is what I would tell my coaching clients to do,” I reminded myself.

Guess what happened next?

I chose to improve from the criticism I received. I continued to practice. I auditioned for roles – some I’ve gotten and some I haven’t.

I’ve won acting awards. I’ve been in countless plays, some music videos, done some film work. I’ve directed and written.

I’ve taken the criticism I received and used it to improve, just as I have with my writing and mixed media art.

I changed my relationship with criticism, made it work for me rather than allowed fear and other emotional attachments to get in the way of future success.

If I never went back to that acting class – which would have been my usual pattern – the “What if I had?” would hold me in improvement limbo.

How might you apply what I learned that day and continue to practice every day of my life?

Listen to the criticism offered fully and ask yourself, “Where is the truth in the critique?”
Be aware of who is offering the criticism. Is it someone who is an expert in the field? Is this person offering objective or subjective critique? Where is the value in the criticism?
Most importantly, continue to show up and do what it is you love to do. Few of us, if any, begin as masters of the craft. This was an important lesson from my acting class – that even though I had raw talent and the building blocks of being a decent actor, there was still so much room to grow.

Usually when I tell the story of how I came back to acting after thirty years away, I share about the transcendent moment that came in the class session right before this one. Welcome to the rest of my story, when things got even better.

This was the moment in my life when I finally learned to accept criticism as a means to improve and a way to grow into this always continuing to achieve more version of myself. If I had stayed afraid of criticism, I would never continue acting. We get notes EVERY night at rehearsal. It is a nightly opportunity to get critiqued and the primary focus is fixing the mistakes you’re making rather than praising the moments you did well. As an actor, if you can’t take that, you’re sunk.

I have included several prompts for you to use for writing or other forms of creative expression including contemplative thought and conversation among friends and broadcasting or video. If you happen to use the prompts to make anything you post online, I would love for you to link back to this post as a way to say THANK YOU!

PROMPT: Remember a time you received criticism. What happened next?

Use the phrase, “I remember” to start your writing and then just let your words flow across the page without editing, forethought or planning.

Stay with this perspective of criticism just like I stayed with my acting class, even though I was initially humiliated by criticism.

I have offered you some alternative prompts in case the first one didn’t resonate entirely.

Prompt: I remember the time I was criticized. It felt….

I remember the time I was criticized (describe the critique). It felt…. and in response I….

These quote sources may also help, especially if you choose to turn your writing into an essay, blogpost, video, live broadcast or a chapter in a book.

99 Motivational Quotes to Help You Deal with Criticism from Inc.com

34 Inspiring Quotes on Criticism (and how to Handle It) from PositivityBlog.com

17 Quotes: Forget the Critic and Believe in Yourself (from the Muse.com)

The rest of the rest of the story is this:

My original acting teacher and I last worked together five or six years ago. He called me and said something like this, “I am calling to beg you to take a role in….” and I did. The woman who wrote the play told me afterwards my portrayal pleased her more than any of the other actors who shared the stage with me, but that praise mattered less than the fact I enjoyed myself completely and have stories to tell I didn’t have before.

I am on hiatus from stage and screen and am making a list of who I want to work with the next time I opt onto the stage. My acting teacher is on the list.

Here’s to more powerful criticism and even more growth for you. This post was inspired by a live broadcast created for the Peri10K.com community. If you are interested in being a part of a carefully curated, collaborative mastermind of thought leaders & world changers who aim to create the most inspiring content online, visit peri10k.com/join to be put on the waitlist and notified when the group re-opens to new members.

Here I am writing by the graveside of Louisa May Alcott, the author of Little Women – a highly successful book that hasn’t been out of print since it was published more than 100 years ago.

Contact Julie now to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Check out the links below to follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.

Please stay in touch: Follow me on Twitter: @JulieJordanScot and on Periscope

Be sure to “Like” WritingCampwithJJS on Facebook. (Thank you!)