jjscreativelifemidwife – Page 32 – Creative Life Midwife

The Journey, The Home, The Gratitude

July 5, 2019 by jjscreativelifemidwife

It’s funny how a change in routine threw me off my blogging course. It was after seven o’clock tonight when I remembered I hadn’t posted anything on my blog and I certainly didn’t want to “fail” only four days in to the Ultimate Blog Challenge!

Instead, I scooped up a prompt and an image I wrote several years ago and responded here.

This is the result:

The journey itself is my home.”
Matsuo Basho

Question: Write your personal definition of “home”

Home: such an easy definitions for most, but for me – not so much.

I have been longing for home for as long as I can remember and I don’t know that I’ve ever found it. I’ve owned real estate, I have lived under other people’s roofs and no, home remains nebulous.

The most at home I have ever felt is at places where I have never lived which makes no sense at all. I know Dorothy says “There is no place like home,” and it magically gets her back to the family that loves her – but that is as much of a fairy tale as any of the others be they Anderson’s or the Brothers Grimm or a wide variety whose names I don’t know.

Tonight I watched my next door neighbor get escorted out of her house wearing a shorty bathrobe with an older guy in an SUV that had some sort of “justice” emblem on the back. Where was she going? Was she leaving her home for something better, or the house-that-is-seemingly curse for who the heck knows what but it didn’t look very good.

My dog Beth is under my chair because the fireworks are loud and steady and scary to her. Am I providing a feeling of home for her as I tap the keyboard and she feels solace because I am with her? The doggie door is blocked for her own protection. She is probably frustrated that she can’t find escape but she doesn’t know there is even more noise out there than there is here.

Maybe that’s part of what home is: quiet among all the other noisy spaces. A comfort you can’t describe with words because it doesn’t quite make sense yet.

Perhaps defining home will be a part of my next work as my children are almost done growing up and moving out of this place which has given us shelter all these years in this town I have loved to have no feelings for beyond acceptance or resignation.

I do feel alive and enriched when I am on road trips, so the Basho quote rings a distinctive bell.

This journey: turning my heart toward home.

I hear children screaming from a home lit firework of some sort.

I hear Beth breathing below my feet.

I think, momentarily, “Maybe Gratitude is my journey and my home?” It sounds cliché, so I will let it sit in the center of my chest while I sleep. Perhaps there will be a message for me somewhere in those words tomorrow.

Julie JordanScott, the Creative Life Midwife, is a writer, a poet performer, a Creativity Coach, and a Mother of three. One of her
greatest joys include loving people into their greatness they just aren’t quite able to realize yet. To set up a complimentary exploratory session, please visit here. Be sure to follow her on Social Media platforms so you may participate in one of her upcoming events. You won’t want to miss a thing – your future self will thank you!

How to Use Your Text & Other “Throwaway Writing” to Make All Your Writing Easier.

July 3, 2019 by jjscreativelifemidwife

The artists among us might say “Let’s Woo Your Muse” Clearly it is time to restore your writing voice now. Time to discover (or rediscover) the words within that are waiting to be written.

Your muse may have become jaded so these promps will restore your faith AND help you get your goodies on paper

Here’s what we’ll do. We will give you an inspiring quote and write a variety of prompts from it so you have a menu of sorts to elevate you to express yourself.

We are starting today with beat poet Allen Ginsburg. He is helping us figure out what to do with leftovers: text messages, emails, half written instagram captions, unfinished essays and novels we left behind in a pile of whatever thought or interruption came along to distract us.

Have you ever found stuff you put aside or buried in scraps and thought later, “This isn’t bad!”

Let’s scoop up the wisdom we’ve started and never finished and see what’s left to create from a new perspective.

Quote:

“Time’s left its remnants and qualities for me to use — my words piled up, my texts, my manuscripts, my loves.”

Allen Ginsberg

A remnant is a leftover bit of fabric like crumbs are leftover on the plate. When I was a little girl, my mom sewed much of my clothing, she would sometimes buy the remnants that were left on the end of a bolt after someone else used the majority of the fabric.

She would use it to make doll clothes or accent pieces on projects or, since she collected fabric like I collect books, sometimes we just put it away to inspire us.

Time’s remnants are leftover bits of that are connected to a specific time, space or experience and in Ginsberg’s quote, tidbits of writing. The texts he is speaking of are not like today’s texts, messages from one cell phone to another. He is talking about books written and not published.

Those tidbits hold the power of story within them: they are the substance of nostalgic “remember when…” conversations that make connect us to one another. Remember there is power in using storytelling in all our content.

I oftentimes suggest to my coaching clients and people in my workshops to glean or pick up bits and pieces of text messages and emails and Instagram posts to inspire or fill-in-the-blanks of other writing. The other place to look is remnants of memory or conversation.

A women is typing in the countryside, another way of looking at a remnant of time and words, launching inspiration into the air.

Questions:

What remnants has time left you? Pick one remnant and describe it as richly and fully as you can with words that relate to t=e senses, not abstractions like “wonderful” or “awesome”.

What remnants have you left in the lives of people you love or co-workers or even frenemies? Write a small tidbit of a story about one of the remnants. Use these as inspiration for characters in fiction or screen plays.

Lists:

Make a list of 5 – 10 remnants of time in your life you would like to make into a quilt. Be fanciful and true.

Make a list of 5 – 10 remnants of time in your life you would NOT like ANYONE to remember. Be honest, be vulnerable.

Traditional writing prompts:

From the lists and the original questions, choose one which resonates and write interchangeably from these prompts.

I remember….

I wish…

I think….

I can’t leave without saying there are no rights and wrongs as to following the prompts here. There is only showing up for your life and your creativity and using what inspires you to fulfill your dreams, passion and purpose.

You may also choose to use these as conversation starters. I imagine there could be many heartful discussions from what we have launched here.

Do me a favor: leave a comment to tell me which prompt you will scoop up first so that I may support you fully in this adventure of creativity.

I love nothing more than supporting your process.

And Time Marches On…. and This Mom Continues Learning, too.

July 2, 2019 by jjscreativelifemidwife

I heard a weird scratching at the door which I thought might be the cat, though I didn’t see her get out. I watched as the door opened and Samuel stepped through, smiling.

“What are you doing home so early?” It was only 9:30 and his Japanese class at Bakersfield College lasts until 11:10 and then he usually is home a half hour after that, at least.

“Today is mid-terms,” he said, with a wider small than I am used to seeing across his eighteen-year-old usually-bored-with-his-old-mother face.
“How did it go?” I asked.

“Well,” he said. Since he was smiling even more widely, I continued the conversation.

“When will you find out how you did?”

“Tomorrow I think, probably,” he answered. He \share more, his face still bright, the shortened week thanks to the Fourth of July. He took himself and his soda and Takis chips which he bought on the way home, into his Man Cave before texting me.

“I need to rent “The Last Samarai” with Tom Cruise in it for a worksheet for class. I need to get it done soon.”

We went back and forth via text even though we were about twenty steps apart before I gave him my Amazon log-in so he could watch it on Prime.
I think he was excited to use his new debit card for a thirty-day prime trial, but he could wait and use his shiny newly-minted-adult-no-parents-allowed-goodies for another time.

This all feels wonderfully surreal.

Wasn’t I just showing up when he was in kindergarten, barracuda mom, when the vice-principal insisted my parenting skills were obviously awful or my child wouldn’t be behaving like this?
Wasn’t I just battling it out with educrats about whether or not he could be mainstreamed into more general ed classes?
Didn’t he just call and convene his own IEP meeting in writing his Freshman year to make a change in his education plan?

His time at Bakersfield College for Summer School has been nothing short of remarkable, where I was able to stand as an anonymous witness. I have been a student and an employee there. I can blend in and watch him manage the administrative tasks at one time the educators “in charge” never imagined he would do successfully.

The next few months will be interesting. Now that it’s July, we are on the sixth month count-down to a brand new decade. Whoa. I hadn’t connected the dots like that until just this moment.

What are you looking forward to over the rest of this year?

Julie JordanScott is the author of the upcoming book, Dear Autism Mom, a collection of encouraging, instructing and inspiring letters to parents of children who are on the autism spectrum. Her son, Samuel, recently graduated high school and will be attending University of Nevada, Las Vegas in Fall 2019. She is a Life and Creativity Coach, a Writer, Retreat Leader and Social Media Expert who loves inspiring others into their greatness.

When Flowers Speak about Abundance, Listen!

July 1, 2019 by jjscreativelifemidwife

Join the Conversation. Allow Yourself the Surprising Joy that Arises as a Result.

My love affair with moon blossoms started during an exceptionally happy, satisfied time of my life when I would go to the river bed – an arroyo, a space that would house water if there was any to be housed, but at its best that season it was empty. This allowed me to sit in the center of it all and have great conversations, watch the sunset, howl with the moon and be surprised by the sounds of urban nature.

I fell in love with absence during that time: I understood something didn’t need to be there at all for one to acknowledge and love it anyway.

If the river had been flowing, I might not have noticed the heavenly scent of the moon blossoms, so pungent at night.

Last Friday night, I came upon my first blossoming patch of the season near twilight. None were fully open. They sat alongside a different portion of the flowing river. This summer, a lot of flow due to last winter, lots of rain and snow.

I had to go take a look, to pay homage to who I was and who I am and the presence of the moon blossoms amidst all of it.

Considering the current work I am doing, I made this two-minute video.

Please take a look:

Now, consider the prompt as an invitation to conversation. Bring it up with friends and co-workers. Ask on Twitter and make an Instagram post. “What is prosperity to you? How would you define it? When have you experienced it?”

Now – consider the moon blossoms.

“What is calling you to blossom, in darkness or in the light or anywhere? What is calling you to blossom into abundance and prosperity?”

Let the words flow, either on the page or in conversation.

A couple things before you go:

Take a moment to follow me on social media and on YouTube. If you are a blogger or writer across any genre, I offer valuable methods to keep your words flowing.

Leave a comment here, as a way of pledging your devotion and commitment to keep your writing prosperity, your word abundance flowing. If you would enjoy additional support I am offering to tag people in my daily instagram story time lapse posts as a way of saying “Ta-Da! I did it! I did my daily writing!”

The world is waiting for your words… let’s get them on the page now.

Julie JordanScott, the Creative Life Midwife, is a writer, a poet performer, a Creativity Coach, and a Mother of three. One of her greatest joys include loving people into their greatness they just aren’t quite able to realize yet. To set up a complimentary exploratory session, please visit here. Be sure to follow her on Social Media platforms so you may participate in one of her upcoming events. You won’t want to miss a thing – your future self will thank you!

How to Be Open to the Art of Receiving

June 29, 2019 by jjscreativelifemidwife

Receiving: it is one of the most important skills on your journey to living a passionate life.

Yes, I said “skill” because so few of us are as adept at it as we could be and if we mastered it, truly, both our abundance and passion would grow exponentially. I’m not alone in this thought, I learned it from other experts. Look at what Alexander McCall Smith says: “Gracious acceptance is an art – an art which most never bother to cultivate. We think that we have to learn how to give, but we forget about accepting things, which can be much harder than giving. Accepting another person’s gift is allowing him to express his feelings for you.”

1. Truly receive your next compliment. No matter what your next compliment is, your task is simply to say “Thank you.” You may not rebuff the compliment, for example, say “oh, that’s nothing” because it is something. Receive kudos well and more receiving will come your way.

This video not only shares a valuable writing prompt, it goes more deeply into the concept of accepting compliments as a means of receiving and accepting gifts as a receiving practice.

2. Give without expectation of being “paid back” or “receiving in return” for what you give or what you do. Practicing practical, daily detachment is a heart opening way to invite more receiving into your life. When our motivation is giving-to-receive the greatest point is left behind.

3. Gracious acceptance may mean accepting both what we see as positive and negative. One of the most important skills we can learn, alongside with receiving is also being able to receive criticism and news we don’t want to hear with grace as well as a clear heart and mind.

4. Communicate to others what it is you really want. Oftentimes those around you have no idea what that may be because you haven’t yet communicated with them. One of the techniques I regularly use is asking the question, “Do you know anyone who….?” and then fill in what you want or need. It is like a magic wand to receiving what is wanted or needed.

5. Visualize yourself receiving what you want down to the tiniest detail. Jim Carrey is one of those well-known people who visualized his success long before his success was apparent to others. Athletes consider it “mental rehearsal.” Those who rehearse more often in the mind are also successful in the rest of their lives. Practice this and receive more abundantly.

Before you go, please remember to write to the prompt:

Today I am open to receive….

Below is my unedited response.

I am open to receive surprises. I am open to receive gentle words and refreshing gifts. I am open to receiving the energy to do some of the tasks that aren’t thrilling me. The idea of cleaning my desk, for example, felt so great when I initially planned it as homage to Maria but right now it doesn’t feel so great.

It is almost like she just whispered, “One drawer at a time, Julie,” so I will at least choose to start that project.

I am open to receive financial abundance via my expertise and gifts and talents. I am open to receive new people and connections that will serve as bridges to more abundance in experiences and opportunities.

I am open to receive a splendid sleep and to wake up with plentiful time to hang out with my online friends at 6 am and my new group of spiritual friends at 8 right here in Bakersfield. This, by the way, is so prosperous! Great new friends in Bakersfield!

I am open to receive direction, I am open to receive hugs and praise. I am open to receive new subscribers to my YouTube Channel and social media channels. (This feels almost silly to say but hey, I am open to receive them!)

I am open to receive flowers and chocolate before I die.

I am open to receive shared laughter and deep conversations with surprising people. I am open to receive smiles and acknowledgment and praise. I am open to receive apologies and authentic requests which I pray I am able to fulfill.

Today I am open to receive. I am open to receive.

I am grateful for cooler thn average temperatures. More walking than usual, clean-house-cleaning supplies. I am grateful for pencil sharpeners, good conversations with friends and fluffy pillows.

I am grateful for abundant receiving practice.

Paradise Found and Tossed About and Found Again.

June 26, 2019 by jjscreativelifemidwife

I tend to feel a slight twinge of guilt when I don’t agree with my favorite writers. Today, I feel sheepish because I disagree with this quote from one of the most revered women’s voices in current literature. Today, I agree to disagree about the other side of paradise with a favorite writer and poet I’ve been reading and quoting for years.

“Happiness is a garden walled with glass: there’s no way in or out. In Paradise there are no stories, because there are no journeys. It’s loss and regret and misery and yearning that drive the story forward, along its twisted road.”
― Margaret Atwood

On a warm June afternoon I considered this quote and I don’t want to agree with it.

In fact, I am feeling the excitement of victory above and over the damn thing.

Loss, regret, misery and yearning alone move stories forward?

It can’t be so, this can’t be the reason or the magnet or the finish line or the goal posts rising toward the sunset and champagne and accolades and hugs and happy high fives. No no no no and no.

I respect Margaret Atwood AND no, I don’t believe her assertions here about happiness and paradise. Do you believe what she says?

I’m going to think of today as a microcosm of story.

I had a blast of a morning: so much fun in my virtual co-working experience where we all got more than the norm done. We all moved forward perhaps along a slightly twisted road and I heard nothing about misery.

We had some technical glitches and stuff took a little longer than we had hoped, but loss and regret?

I’ll look at something else from today. Lunch with Emma. Found out a server at a restaurant we go to died in a car accident. Definitely loss. Discovered a gofundme I can share, something I can take action on, which made me feel slightly better.

Next Emma and I went to Kaiser. I felt annoyance due to poor communication but at least we took action. One might argue we were focused on avoidance of misery if a broken toe is misery. Perhaps it could be misery?

I put her car key on a cute key chain I found. I have no idea where the key chain came from, I just know I felt ridiculously happy because I have a horrible habit of misplacing keys and this one simple tool would make it much easier… to avoid loss and or regret?

Perspective, I think as five minutes of writing passes and I start yawning, wanting to avoid more discovery of loss or regret or misery or needless misery.

Happiness is unexpectedly seeing an old friend who values you more than you believe you deserve.

Happiness is forgiving yourself for being afraid and then finally taking action. Happiness is having the action netting authentically pleasing results.

Happiness is framing photos and art after waiting a while, and then hanging that art which makes people smile and then create their own art.

Happiness is going to a meeting where people appreciate you and a meetup with a friend who finds you funny and interesting and surprises you with the memories of you she shares.

I totally forgot the loss and yearning and misery as I recounted happiness which is probably why I feel so strongly about using gratitude as an ending point for free flow writing exercises.

I have experienced a lot of grief in my life. I have lost friends I cherished, I have fallen upon hard times with my face squarely in the mud for a lot longer than was healthy.

What helped me pick myself up and begin again was not the misery or the grief itself, it was the awareness of the sun rising, again, even after a lengthy darkness.

It isn’t an either misery or ecstacy, it is the awareness that even with misery or is currently great loss, there is also room for joyful ecstacy. It isn’t one or the other, there is one and there is the other.

Paradise has stories. For some reason, I am smelling vanilla – rich vanilla, not cheap, mild flavored vanilla – when I think of paradise stories. I see maps and diaries detailing journeys into and out of and over paradise and journeys into and out of and over and into hell: which is the only antonym for paradise (heaven, bliss, cloud nine, utopia, wonderland) and many other synonyms to happily, contentedly and transformatively describe a space many of us aim to inhabit.

Misery might love company, paradise loves permanent residents: especially those who are compassionate and kind to those who live outside. Those who haven’t learned about the joy of experiencing the richness and fullness and sweet losses of life with grace and hope and a future.

I can’t think of the perfect red bow to tie this up and I want to be finished.
Maybe you have a more proper ending? If you do, add it here.

As for me, I am off to today’s next paradise, next regret, next happiness, next loss, next story and next dissatisfaction and next moment of deep belly laughter, and the next story I tell about it all.

Julie JordanScott is the Creative Life Midwife: Her work as a life coach, muse and group facilitator has inspired best selling novels, new careers and knocking knees during speeches, performances and video releases. Right now she is enjoying hosting Ta-Da Tuesdays and preparing for her next Summer and Fall programs.

Good Job, Dear Friend

June 23, 2019 by jjscreativelifemidwife

“I have turned away from myself, ” I thought, this morning.

A trigger, a “oh no not that!” feeling rose from my gut. It wasn’t a running away screaming with my arms flailing, it was a quietly tip toe away so no one notices and climbing into a corner behind a curtain so that no one would take notice of my disappearance and then….
I realized this is what I have habitually done.

Past, present and now with awareness may cross off my “to-do” list or “to be forgiven for when arises in the future” list.

So interesting, this self-witness thing because in the turning away from myself, I am actually turning away from the gifts I bring to this world, it is like shutting off a valve of all that is good and right and pleasing to others as well as myself.

Do you ever find yourself doing this? Please tell me I am not alone in this.

I give myself the gift of five minutes to write and I find myself holding my face in my hands like in “The Scream” by Edvard Munch except my face is lifeless and numb, not outwardly screaming at all but…..

Perhaps this is the quintessential Julie scream. Numb, not even noticing myself pull away until I have sunk into unconscious disconnection.

I look around the room. My messy art table, my floor that needs a once (or several times) over.

Note to self. You are seeing. You are feeling. You are writing. You are alive.

You have now turned back to yourself.

Well done, good and faithful friend.

Coffee as a waker upper today and through July

I’ve been absent from here. My intention is to write a five-minute-blog post daily (or as close as I’m able) starting in July and figured this was as good a time as any to begin. I literally grabbed a random photo as a header… it fit… and am looking forward to writing this week with the #5for5BrainDump I’m running this week. Here’s to taking off the numb and beginning again, again.

How to Ask Questions Differently to Create Better Results

March 5, 2019 by jjscreativelifemidwife

“If you treat every question as if you’ve never heard it before, your students feel like you respect them and everyone learns a lot more.”
Anita Diamont in The Boston Girl

What questions are you asking that might be more effective if you ask them from a different perspective or angle?

What if you used slightly different words – like instead of saying “What do I want?” practice and play with “What are you excited about?” or “What are you looking forward to?” or “What’s next for you?” and then following the flow of the conversation or if I am journaling, following the flow of my energy straight into my pencil or pen.

“What I am excited about tomorrow?” can open up a planning session from a dull creation of a checklist into a jumble of realizations or a suddenly give me choices of actions rather than a dictation of shoulds and “oh geesh, I gotta do this or that” which makes me get sick to my stomach just thinking about it.

Maybe I understand “What do I want” to be slightly edgy or depressing because I played “The Ghost of Christmas Present” and one of the scariest moments in that production is when the children who play “ignorance” and “want” are so tragic. The truth is, I used to utilize “want” all the time with my coaching clients, but now, I favor other questions like the ones I shared with you above.

You may modify to make questions that resonate more strongly with you.

Here’s one that works with me:

“What brave action will I take today?” comes along with “How much better do I want to feel?” which for me comes from stopping the procrastination train in its tracks.

This particular question appeared right at the end of a 5 minute journal writing session – where oftentimes the really good stuff comes, right when you have said “I am committed to creating in short chunks to get more done” like our signature #5for5BrainDump.

Questions also help to end procrastination and help you to take action against it.

My biggest project right now in my household is tackling my living room one section at a time so with that, I am asking myself the question, “How fantastic will it feel when someone knocks at the door and you don’t have to worry whether they can see into that cluttered room?”

Brand new response to the question I am hearing for the first time? “I would feel pretty darned good, self!”

Just asking myself “What do I want?” hasn’t brought me significant results. It forgot the value of positive energy and what happens when we choose to use that energy to create flow.

I’m in it, fully, now, because I am practicing asking better questions.

From what you’ve seen here and noticed in the rest of your life, what questions are most likely to stir you into action and then momentum?

Now Begin: Your Journey Back to Where You Were Always Meant to Be

February 1, 2019 by jjscreativelifemidwife

We’re being called to refresh our lives: to begin again, to realize and become who we were meant to become since even before we were born.

Our life coaching and personal growth series, “Now Begin, Again” will help you as you discover how to open, wake up, stop the negative self-talk and destructive habits and replace them with all that is good, right, sacred and true. .

For the next few weeks I’ll be livestreaming the poem, “Now Begin” – sharing it’s transformative power with you. Along the way we will scoop up writing prompts, some stories and a lot of fresh new insights so that you may lead a better life.

Wake Up: Now Begin Your (Re)Newed Life: #LifeCoach #Love #amwriting https://t.co/LihBreU0SP
— Julie JordanScott (@JulieJordanScot) January 28, 2019

I’ll be scattering the goodness on Facebook Live, Periscope and IGLive before I meander over to YouTube with it.

And Now, the Poem and the Introduction as shared on Instagram TV and Twitter:

The Poem that Started the Series: Written in 1999.

Take away the degrees, titles and accomplishments –

What is discovered at your core?\

What is your unique, special spark?

Buried deep, neglected, that you’ve chosen to ignore?

Seeking to please whomever.

Drowning out the pure longings of your heart

Struggling, freezing, suffocating –

Until finally, you choose to start.

Whispers from the spirit.

Soul’s song from deep within.

After dancing, stranger among strangers –

Claim it. Your life. Now Begin –

Take the poem more deeply with these prompts focused on the first line. Throughout the series more prompts will be offered for you to explore more deeply and begin again, better and better and better.

Writing prompts for a efreshed beginning from Julie JordanScott. Gain personal discovery while enjoying poetry from the Creative Life Midwife.

End the Downward Self Talk Spiral: From Lament to Self Love

January 25, 2019 by jjscreativelifemidwife

Why do I have to go so deep with so many things? Why do I take a submarine dive into a simple prompt?
Why am I compelled to feel so deeply? Why aren’t toe dips in the shallow end enough for me?
Why do I get so passionate about certain subjects that I am a weasel who won’t let go and then wonder why some people turn and walk away, shaking their heads

Do you ever hear yourself in a self-talk spiral that finds faults with lament qualities you would enjoy in someone else?

This week has been overly abundant in self-laments and at times more negativity than necessary or appropriate.

Why do I have to go so deep with so many things? Why do I take a submarine dive into a simple prompt?
Why am I compelled to feel so deeply? Why aren’t toe dips in the shallow end enough for me?
Why do I get so passionate about certain subjects that I am a weasel who won’t let go and then wonder why some people turn and walk away, shaking their heads

I had a simple prompt to write about the antagonist for my work-in-progress that I recently finished copyediting and it took me most of the day to come up with a slightly coherent response. Here is a slice of the Instagram post I wrote:

Permission to lament is granted. Healthy boundaries lead to breakthroughs,

I’ve been struggling with this post today as it isn’t easy to say or admit or deal with and then there is this reality that as a writer I am supposed to be able to write easily.

My antagonist in my WIP (almost done, in final edits) is as much an entity as a human, though in my head there is one scene that replays over and over and over again that involves two fully grown men including a school psychologist basically holding my son in a corner while he was screaming and they were standing there with their arms folded “guarding” a six-year-old-boy who was overwhelmed and unable to process what was happening to him/around him.

The school psychologist who ought to have recognized the behaviors associated with autism spectrum, who under the education code was legally obligated to make a referral to have my son tested – in fact, he ought to have administered the tests – was instead standing over him with his arms folded.

Today I have been imagining what that must have been like for him.

I remember arriving on the scene and breaking through the guard barrier and picking him up and setting him on my lap and rocking him as his crying started tapering off because he was being treated like a human again.

And then the person who has impacted me most in this past year and then into the new year is not a single person, but the shattering of my expectations of what is good and right and expected.

My inner wrangling is a reflection of my unmet longings and an opportunity of confessional. Opening myself in soul confession is something that has bit by bottom most recently though at the best of times, authentic confessions have built constructive relationships.
Focus on that true memory: authentic confessions build constructive relationships, soulful friends, faithful and vibrant companions.

Suddenly a light comes on above my eyebrows:

I am a complex human who loves well, who is active in a variety of spaces and places. I love complexity, unconventionality and deep connection.

My inner wrangling is a reflection of my unmet longings and an opportunity of confessional. Opening myself in soul confession is something that has bit by bottom most recently though at the best of times, authentic confessions have built constructive relationships.

Focus on that true memory: authentic confessions build constructive relationships, soulful friends, faithful and vibrant companions.

It is with people who are not aligned that I have fallen flat.

Here is to laments and the celebrations that come from the light within.

Here is to the antagonists and the inadvertent transformation they spark.

Here is to me, in my wobbly embrace of my narrative, your narrative and her narrative. It feels so good to find my smile after kicking around in this rubble for a day (which I realize now was a well spent day afterall.)

Julie JordanScott is a creative life coach, writer, poet, Mama extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose greatest joys include loving people into their greatness they just aren’t quite able to realize yet. To set up a complimentary exploratory session, please visit here.

She is so thrilled to announce the next session of the Passionate Women’s Writing Circle is open for registration. Find out more and
Join the upcoming Passionate Women’s Writing Circle which begins again on Friday, February 1. Click for details and to sign up now.