“If you treat every question as if you’ve never heard it before, your students feel like you respect them and everyone learns a lot more.”
Anita Diamont in The Boston Girl
What questions are you asking that might be more effective if you ask them from a different perspective or angle?
What if you used slightly different words – like instead of saying “What do I want?” practice and play with “What are you excited about?” or “What are you looking forward to?” or “What’s next for you?” and then following the flow of the conversation or if I am journaling, following the flow of my energy straight into my pencil or pen.
“What I am excited about tomorrow?” can open up a planning session from a dull creation of a checklist into a jumble of realizations or a suddenly give me choices of actions rather than a dictation of shoulds and “oh geesh, I gotta do this or that” which makes me get sick to my stomach just thinking about it.
Maybe I understand “What do I want” to be slightly edgy or depressing because I played “The Ghost of Christmas Present” and one of the scariest moments in that production is when the children who play “ignorance” and “want” are so tragic. The truth is, I used to utilize “want” all the time with my coaching clients, but now, I favor other questions like the ones I shared with you above.
You may modify to make questions that resonate more strongly with you.
Here’s one that works with me:
“What brave action will I take today?” comes along with “How much better do I want to feel?” which for me comes from stopping the procrastination train in its tracks.
This particular question appeared right at the end of a 5 minute journal writing session – where oftentimes the really good stuff comes, right when you have said “I am committed to creating in short chunks to get more done” like our signature #5for5BrainDump.
Questions also help to end procrastination and help you to take action against it.
My biggest project right now in my household is tackling my living room one section at a time so with that, I am asking myself the question, “How fantastic will it feel when someone knocks at the door and you don’t have to worry whether they can see into that cluttered room?”
Brand new response to the question I am hearing for the first time? “I would feel pretty darned good, self!”
Just asking myself “What do I want?” hasn’t brought me significant results. It forgot the value of positive energy and what happens when we choose to use that energy to create flow.
I’m in it, fully, now, because I am practicing asking better questions.
From what you’ve seen here and noticed in the rest of your life, what questions are most likely to stir you into action and then momentum?
Julie JordanScott, the Creative Life Midwife, is a writer, a poet performer, a Creativity Coach, and a Mother of three. One of her
greatest joys include loving people into their greatness they just aren’t quite able to realize yet. To set up a complimentary exploratory session, please visit here.
Peta Sklarz says
Hi Julie, I like your idea of playing with words to find something that speaks to you. Asking the right question, I do agree that you get better answers!! And it makes what your doing more fun for sure. Great information.
Pamela Jessen says
This was a great post on how to reframe questions to get new answers. I liked how you were able to play with words to get better results and open up pathways of dialogue. Thanks for sharing – I definitely learned something new!
Sherri Preston says
Very Nice read.. completely relate, especially to the living room part:)))) Joking aside, my kids are 17 and 19 now and while they were growing up I had to learn to ask them the right questions to get the true answers, it’s ironic that sometimes as adults we neglect to do the same thing..
Melanie says
Hi Julie:
I love the mindshift example about tackling your living room. You gave me an excellent example to use with someone I’m helping clear things out of her home. Thank you for that !
Melanie
http://Www.mels2ndact.com