Creative Life Midwife

Inspiring Artistic Rebirth

Ordinary Adventures in Mindfulness & Caregiving

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Plants and nature symbolize mindfulness in the every day. Passing a fragile yet full of potential plant from one hand to another is indicative of everyday ordinary adventures in mindfulness and caregiving.

Mindfulness in Everyday Life

“The best way to capture moments is to pay attention. This is how we cultivate mindfulness.”

Jon Kabat-Zin

I am aware I am feeling disgruntled today. It started when I woke up and realized I had less than an hour until I needed to facilitate a meeting I didn’t really feel like facilitating. 

I took a deep breath and moved forward, anyway.

Not what we think of as mindfulness and yet, mindful.

This is not what I would call quintessential mindfulness AND there are aspects of it that ARE mindful which may be constructive to point out.

  1. Recognition of how I was feeling. Disgruntled. Didn’t feel like doing what was on my to-do list. 
  2. First action: a deep breath.  I stopped mindlessly scrolling and took the action that would help me move forward to facilitate the meeting.
  3. When I got dressed, I actually practiced balancing. One foot in my shorts. Hold. Second foot in my shorts. Hold.
  4. Sat at my desk and was the first one to the zoom room meeting. 

After the meeting I needed to focus on caregiving tasks. With that came more aggravation. Within the caregiving I offered myself attempts at self-compassion and compassion for the other person. None of this segment felt mindful EXCEPT….

  1. I was as aware of my feelings and my responses to those feelings.
  2. I was able to calm myself from being more angry and cranky. 

Reflections in Mindfulness

I notice as I retell the story, the awareness and the kindness I am showing to myself by not making my emotions the enemy, not making the person I am caregiving for the “bad guy” and recognizing these are the current circumstances which I have the power to process through using writing as a tool I am doing is also mindful in its own way.

I allow myself to flop back in my chair in response to the a-ha’s of discovery from this exercise. I smile at myself and with myself. 

I remember a quote I saw last night, another from Jon Kabat-Zinn. “Mindfulness is a way of befriending ourselves and our experience.”

Mindfully beginning again…. (and again.)

I am starting to write again. I can feel my spine straight up, not leaning against the back of the chair. The light is blocked by the lacy curtains. I notice I ought to get out my dust mop and dance with the dust bunnies after I finish writing. My breath is filling my lungs and my lungs are singing in reply. It is Monday. It is the 4th of July. Samuel isn’t here. I miss him and am aware he gets upset at sentimentality so I will leave that thought to sit beside me without needing to pick it up and share it with him.

The person I am caregiving sends me messages that are slightly upsetting. I attempt to stay calm about them and I do. I am calm as I do a bit of research and return his messages and communicate I will honor his request when I am finished writing. 

Interesting: boundaries are easier with mindfulness. 

Mindfulness Lessons

I was actually more mindful than I thought this morning, even though I thought I wasn’t.

Basic mindfulness does not always look like a zen garden at dusk. Sometimes mindfulness looks like having tough conversations without letting our emotions hijack us.

Tell me about your experience(s) with mindfulness in the comments. I would love to hear from you.

Hugging a cartoon tree is almost as fun as hugging a tree outside, almost. Creator of #377TreeHugs, Julie Jordan Scott, enjoys hugging a black and white cartoon tree in downtown Bakersfield.

Julie Jordan-Scott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

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On Sundays, We Plan the Week Ahead

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It is basic and also easy to overlook: life works better even with the most basic plan.

Planning Basics: Even with a Hectic, Unpredictable Schedule basic planning is grounding and illuminating.

As a creative who is also busily caretaking, it would be easy to toss away any idea of planning and just “go with the flow” or as it often devolves into “go with the chaos” or whatever is the best of the worst possibilities.

This is not inspiring in the least.

This is why it is better to at least have the minimum amount of a plan before your week begins.

Calendar + Appointments + Tasks “To Do” + Practices = Better

On Sunday afternoon, evening or early Monday morning, be sure to gather your calendar, a list of your projects, classes, and to-do’s you are aware of as your week kicks off.

Fill in your calendar with what you know for now. Include any family or friend activities you are expected to attend. If you are unsure what other people’s expectations are for you, now is the time to ask and set the boundaries that fit.

Once those times are filled in, it is time to do some intentional breathing and take time in free flow, meditative writing or journaling to see if there is anything deserving space that has not yet appeared in your plan.

Journal or Free Flow Write to Double Check” and Allow the Unspoken within You Speak

Here’s a reality we often deny or pretend away: within our busy minds racing to get things done, we ignore the wisest part of ourselves. The quiet whispers, the tugs on our intuition, the nudges that are encouraging you to go in a possible different direction.

As you consider the blocks of time filled with appointments, daily basic care activities (hygiene, meal prep, spiritual practice, exercise), tasks and to-do’s, take a moment to journal or free flow write using this question and the sentence starter to tune into those most important aspects of your plan you may have not paid any attention to (yet.)

Revise your plan: It is a leaping off point, not a concrete wall.

One of the ways people resist planning or decide not to plan is based in perfectionism or “all or nothing” thinking. Can you relate to either of those?

Starting Next Week: Suggestions, Coaching & Response to Your Questions

Do you have any questions about how to plan, best practices for planning, planning mindsets or advice around planning? I will incorporate these in upcoming blog posts.

Please comment below or send me an email at juliejordanscott at gmail.comVideo Exploring Trust (which may have kept you from planning in the past.)

Optional Video Exploration/Writing Exercise on TRUST

A blast from the past (2017) a prompt for you to write with – videos will be shared at the end of each blog and are optional for you to use (or not) as a means for you to be inspired to write more or differently or better. This particular theme of TRUST is essential to grow as a writers and leaders.

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

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Let’s Get Creative: Write, Journal, Doodle, Jot about Freedom

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This is the weekend we are celebrating freedom in the United States. To ignore our country’s current struggles on this holiday working feels unauthentic – so instead, I invite you to consider how you recognize freedom in your everyday life before making something inspired by freedom.

Use creativity to explore how you have or would like to experience freedom

Open a new document or get our your journal and begin with the sentence starters in the image. Write for at least five minutes freely, stream-of-consciousness style. You may want to get your juices flowing by beginning with a comment below before you leave.

  • Freedom feels like
  • Freedom is….
  • Freedom tastes like
  • Freedom looks like
  • I know freedom when….
  • I am grateful for freedom because…
  • I would describe freedom to an alien by saying….
  • Freedom sounds like
  • Freedom smells like

To further spark your writing and creativity

To further spark your writing, watch this video and use it as a prompt in addition or instead of the freedom prompt.

Please begin your response to the prompts that are offered here in the comments. I would love to hear from you!

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

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July: 2022 Begin Again”The Best is Yet to Be”

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I am a relentless optimist, usually. Today as we begin a new month, I am reclaiming my Optimistic Hat as will many of us in the community of bloggers in the Ultimate Blog Challenge.

Ultimate Blog Challenge banner for Fridays which will be recaps and refreshers. Today is all about goals: being and doing goals, intentions and writing goals.

Recap: The Year that Wasn’t

I had some ambitious yet also not too outrageous goals when 2022 started.

Unfortunately, my brother’s death with less than two weeks left to go in 2021 helped start everything off in a rather dark way. Two family deaths in a short time was nearly unbearable.

I didn’t factor in grief as well as the health failures of another family member in which were healing after I left California in February and came to a climax in March – when I returned for three weeks and then in May, when I returned for final stages of that healing only to find his health had slidden beyond the place where it had started getting bad.

It had become a crisis so I had to give up my sabbatical on the east coast for a time not just for standard caregiving but for crisis caregiving. 

Somehow the past me knew I would be best off by setting goals differently this year.

Refresh Intention: Goals of Being + Goals of Doing

CS Lewis Quote: There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." Relax about the year so far and settle into what is next.

Goals of Being are more like the Miss Congeniality winner intentions and goals: engaging, kind but not threatening – more like the one who builds up others confidence rather than setting the bar too high for the average person.

Goals and intentions of doing focus on accomplishments, achievements, tangible, measurable tasks and the like.

I revisited my goals for the year and was thrilled when I realized my crowning glory was in the goals and intentions of being. Here are some examples:

I am consistently 

  • Enjoy the process, whatever the process becomes
  • Be present to what is rather than what was or what is to be in the future.
  • Create small, daily goals and move forward with love toward a desired result
  • Practice clear, soulful communication
  • Do a daily self-belonging check in as a part of my work-prep session (since I have been caregiving and not business building, my work is showing tender loving care to my family member and others providing health care and service to my family member.
  • Playful experimentation and practicing passionate detachment about the results: I continue to write and do writing and creative experiments even while not working on building my business. This is as close to “doing” as these goals are!

Looking into July, I will be returning to my original 2022 goals and updating them on my Friday weekly recap posts here. My hope is I encourage you as well to look at your own goals and intentions as I do – with authenticity, courage and hope.

Caregiving, Grieving and the Creative Life

My professional life work includes creative life coaching, facilitating personal growth programs, classes, courses and workshops. My caregiving life this year has included several members of my family. Health, Grief, Aging, Support.

It is very difficult to schedule classes, clients, speaking engagements and live streams or set goals and intentions around this while grieving or caring for loved ones. I can barely schedule one hour ahead, much less a few weeks or months ahead.

Since April 2021 I have both grieved and taken care of others, simultaneously.

During these months I have continued to be active creatively: I’ve written a short play (it was produced in May and I was able to see it while I was in Bakersfield), I have been in a play in a new community. I have written many blog posts, poetry, completed a 377 daily challenge and while in New Jersey my primary task was working on the completion of several book projects while rebuilding my business. I have participated in other blog challenges and I hope to complete this one.

Since mid-May until now, in early July, the caregiving has taken over all other activities except for writing and creative practices in the early morning moments and late night moments. Most of the time, that is.

I don’t know if I could even attempt the Ultimate Blog Challenge without this continued attention to creativity. I am so grateful for the people who will visit in July and comment, share my work and get to know me better or get reacquainted. 

I’m grateful to celebrate with you in all your best hopes, goals and intentions.

I have come to value friendships on an even higher plane since my father died and the many tumultuous chapters since then. You may have helped me and didn’t even know it. For this and other things, I am grateful you are here, reading.

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

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How One Moment of Listening (or Being) a Naysayer May Cause Longterm Damage

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Transfrom the words of naysayers: an ear listens and does... what? Heal the negative effects of mean words.

When I started my life coaching practice in 1999 I was amazed when people showed up at discovery calls and were ready to hire me immediately almost without a word of conversation.  Now, with years of experience under my belt, I realize it is because the content I had shared over time forged the relationship ahead of our speaking.

To my long time readers, we weren’t strangers meeting for the first time.  I was someone they respected who they were honored to finally meet. Back then, though, I was simply happily going about my life, not thinking of myself as anything unique or special or worthy of any extra attention beyond my daily existence.

I wondered why it was so hard for other people to find coaching clients. I didn’t arrive at discovery calls from a space of “I am so good at getting clients” because I wasn’t selling at all. I was just showing up and people were signing up for coaching in a way that felt magical.

My coach-trainer didn’t believe me when I told him how many clients I had. He literally scoffed and said, “You can’t have done that!”

How did my well respected coach and trainer’s scoffing and naysaying words do to a new, exuberant, passionate yet insecure coach?

His disbelief caused a block in creating new relationships with more people who were looking to engage with me.

This is what happens when people are naysayers whether it is inadvertent or on purpose.

What if he had said, “You have sixteen clients and you are a brand new coach? That is incredible – you are clearly getting the word out about your work and attracting like hearted people! What’s your secret? I want to know more about your success! My goodness, you are a star pupil, Julie! Do you realize how miraculous you are?

What a gift those questions would have been. Naturally, he would have said questions in his own voice because the above is more what I would have said to me back then – and what I am saying to me, now.

My coach trainer and I didn’t have that conversation though. He went on to critique me even though my success was huge.

My thought after that conversation with my coach trainer went from “getting clients is so easy” to “What is wrong with me? “

I left  the final conversation I had with my trainer – a person in a position of authority who “knew better than me” scalded by his naysaying. It scarred our longterm relationship.

More appropriate to the facts of what I had achieved would have been thinking something like this: “I am an incredible rockstar bursting with hope and optimism.”

Writing about this now more than twenty years later helps me see even more clearly the cumulative damage that happened because of the conversation – the initial naysayer moment – and my continued lack of belief in what he said has marred certain aspects of building my coaching practice.

It mirrors the Dan Pink quote we started with today: “Some beliefs operate quietly, like existential background music.”  

Once we allow that background music to play constantly, we run the risk of allowing it to overtake any success we have had and what we hope to achieve in the future.

Today, that belief has been excavated and may finally be decluttered from the mind and from life experience.

Give yourself time to consider past moments in time that may still be influenced by “background music of beliefs” that may surprise you. These naysaying moments may seem insignificant, but tugging at the thread of them may bring you into a new awareness that will transform your life experience today.

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

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Rise… with Prompts You Never Knew You Needed

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A tree with birds rising from it. Words on the image say "Rise Prompts for Different Purposes.

Today, it is time to rise up, separately and together.

Rising up is a choice. First, an example and a story:

I’ve been consciously walking for a couple months now, but a year ago, I could barely walk at all.I spent thirteen long days in the hospital with pneumonia, Valley Fever and Sepsis. My doctors told me I needed to include walking in my healing regime. I got good at getting out of bed and sitting up, but the walking part besides walking to the restroom and back wasn’t something I felt so great about. It took my friend Beth coming by and insisting we walk.

She held my arm and off we slowly went. 

Beth and I became an instant community and we rose up, together.

After that, I was willing to walk and I did walk. People visited me and we slowly walked. I even had landmark goals like the Pumpkin window – that was a big highlight. My friend Tim tried to get me to walk more – but his suggestion felt too far.

Rising up for you may mean making a phone call (and writing a script before making that call.)

Rising up for you may mean writing for five minutes on a subject that makes you angry and you are concerned you will get angrier so you don’t do anything. By the way, one of my favorite notes to self is anger in and of itself is not bad, it may be constructive. This morning I walked 7 flights of stairs because I was angry. It worked in that instance.

Rising up may be stretching your arms over your head once a day. Write a gratitude entry about how good it feels. Repeat tomorrow twice. Tell a friend about it in a text message. Continue. Continue. Continue.

Rising up may mean writing with a friend or writing live on a zoom session

There are prompts and videos you can write with today – tag one of your writing friends and set a time to come in and use one of the #5for5BrainDump videos at the Let Our Words Flow Creative Community or one of the many prompts in the albums or by searching the popular topics that show up in the group. (Check the MEDIA tab in the group.)

Rising up may mean setting a goal today to finish editing one chapter by Friday.Today, we are rising and writing about it.

Prompts for different sorts of Writing

Copy & Paste Texts: (Simply copy, add to a text or direct message and send. You may also add your own brief message to personalize)

1. I have noticed how you rise to the occasion over and over again. Thank you for your inspiration.

2. I haven’t heard from you lately. Is there anything you are facing I may help you with? I miss hearing from you

3. Hey, I am looking for someone I may reach out to when I’m feeling stuck or need inspiration. Would you be willing to receive an occasional check in text from me?

Copy Writing and Social Media Posts

How can your product serve as encouragement to help the people who are interested in your product face their challenges?

Write a heartfelt letter to a possible client/student/buyer and then mold it into a sales letter.

Fiction Writers:

Two options:

1) Write backstory about how your main character has a history of overcoming challenges.

2) Inject a “rise up” story/scene for a secondary character that fills a more stagnant part of your book with a new energy.

Lifestyle Bloggers and Vloggers

We’re getting toward summer when people stop working towards the goals they made earlier in the year.

How can you invigorate your audiences to rise up and over whatever they’re facing amidst the realities of 2022?

Memoir/Life Writers

Make a list of the times you have chosen to rise up. If the timeline doesn’t fit within the outline of your current memoir, how might it help with fleshing out the unseen or backstory in your memoir?

Bonus: How might it be useful in marketing your memoir once it is published.

Poets

Think of metaphors for rising up and use that metaphor to write your poem. Here are some examples to start you off:1) Early shoots of flowers in late winter/early spring2) A child taking her first step3) The beginnings of a difficult conversation.

Quotes and General Prompts

“When Monrovia rises, the city rises witha bang, and I wake up with a soft prayer on my lips.”Patricia Jabbeh Wesley

Prompt: When I wake up, I…..

“Sometimes we have to reach rock bottom before we’re willing to rise up and overcome our trials.” Dana Arcuri

Prompt: I remember when I rose above rock bottom…..

“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default.”

J.K. Rowling

Prompt: I am guilty of allowing failure to block my progress, and now to rewrite that story, I will ….

Finally, save this link to Maya Angelou’s classic poem, “Still I Rise” and read it as would make you feel ready to rise (even if you don’t really feel like it.)Maya Angelou’s Poem “Still I Rise“

And now, write! Run and write with the words you find here.

Rise separately, Rise together… RISE.

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

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How Practicing a Ta-Da Focus You Will Live Solidly in Your Truth

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“I would love to have an ocean of love right now. That said, the number-one rule of acting is, ‘Do not seek approval from the audience.’ People don’t realize that. You can’t do stuff to get applause. You have to live in the truth.”

Chadwick Boseman

My mind is playing the famous instagram reel and tik tok videos where one is simply some restlessness and then wild applause. The second is soft music and then a voice with a dignified British accent saying, “Ladies and Gentleman, Her” and thunderous applause from an invisible audience.

I will admit, I have used one of these sounds in the past on a tree hugging reel.

The most important applause to receive is your own.

Our hunger for approval is one we need to focus to overcome. To begin creating your specific ocean of love, as Chadick Boseman suggests, you may in addition create your most satisfying outcome yet.

Focusing on your “Ta-Da’s!’ as well as your “To-Do’s” will automatically create a more favorable environment for satisfaction, success and waves of virtual, real and inner applause will become a daily experience.

Remember the end of Chadwick Boseman’s wise words: You have to live in truth. Don’t hunger for approval of others, focus on acting in alignment with your truth.

What is the first step you will take to create waves of applause both from other people and more importantly from yourself?

“You can’t do stuff to get applause. You have to live in the truth.”

Your Ta-Da’s – the actions you have taken and the stuff you get done live in your truth.

They don’t have to be thunderous or huge. Your Ta-Da’s may be as simple as “I got out of bed before 7:30 am today!” or “I got out of bed today.” Either is a Ta-Da in your truthful space.

Your truth is not a space to compare to others, your truth is a space of delight – a space of inner applause and a space of infinite ta-da’s.

I can hear the ocean waves of love and admiration reaching your shores, my shores, our collective shores.

The door to the present moment and the future opens.

Ladies and Gentleman, Her!

Julie JordanScott Comeback Crone Creative Life Midwife

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.


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How to Wake Up Everyday With Content You are Proud to Publish

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This simple 5 step or less technique may become your best way to create consistently good content you are proud to publish.

Start an evening or end-of-the-work-day writing practice. It is a simple and meaningful formula that will fill your content with helpful, interesting stories/information/transformations.

  1. Write a question, by hand, in a small notebook. This question may be something you are struggling with and/or what your clients/subscribers struggle with, too.
  2. After you write the question, note three to five gratitudes, in writing, in the same small notebook. Experiment with re-writing the question in a slightly different way after writing your gratitudes.
  3. Within an hour of waking or arrival in your workspace, pull out the notebook and write for five minutes in response to the question. If you get stuck or writing stalls – which is rare because your subconscious mind has literally doing your creative work all night long for you – write about your gratitudes as a back up plan.
  4. Bonus: Add your question to a closing thought of the work day or conversation before you sleep. Post the question on social media before the end of the day or before bedtime. If you have a partner, ask them what they think about the question. Fall asleep with a healthy curiosity.
  5. Wake up with content ready to go. When you tap “publish” you will be proud.

Try this as an experiment for at least three to five consecutive days. Please come back and let me know how it goes for you.

If you already have a writing practice, see how this might augment what you are doing now. Tell me about it in the comments.

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

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Trust: How Practices and Imperfection Lead to So Many Insightful Gifts

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This morning I sat at my desk intending to write in the same, highly practiced way as I do on most mornings. I met with my focus mate partner – for those who don’t know, Focusmate is a co-working environment online that helps people transform their to-do’s into ta-da’s while supporting another person doing the same in either 25 minute or 50 minute containers. 

“I am going to complete my morning writing practice,” I told my new friend’s smiling face and she reported her tasks back to me. We wished each other well and I started writing.

What I wasn’t expecting was to be visited by memories, Kahlil Gibran, Daniel Pink and experience divine healing in the midst of it.

I knew Dan Pink would be present because I had been meditating on his sentence since I read it yesterday in his new best seller, “The Power of Regret.”

The sentence was “Some beliefs operate quietly, like existential background music.”  

The overall theme of the writing was to be trust, a word that has been known to invoke a churning feeling in my gut. My friend Laurie Smith’s 28 Days of Flow Challenge had thrown down the word gauntlet and feeling brave, I stepped into the circle to wrestle with it.

Here is what I wrote:

Trust:  some days, most days to be honest, I don’t trust much of anything or anyone, much less myself. There was something Brene Brown says in “Atlas of the Heart”  about living disappointed instead of risking disappointment. Over the years, I have lived more disappointed than I have  risked disappointment.

When I visit my patterns of trust, I realize the bruises of opting out of trust started very early. I don’t want to sound like I am blaming because I am not claiming victimhood, I am exploring what happened. I am examining what the facts are without reconstructing a false narrative based on my opinions.

I think about what was happening in my young parents’ lives when I was a little one and I think “I don’t know how they did as well as they did. A cross country move with four children under the age of 7 with Mom pregnant setting up in a new location with a newish company. All the expectations for success…. once John was born with Down’s syndrome… the guilt and the grief and the fourteen month (fifteen sixteen month) me battled the lack of trust with refusing to learn to walk. 

If I didn’t walk, they would have to carry me. They would have to pay attention and lift me up to the places I couldn’t crawl, right? 

I didn’t trust for my safety and perhaps because I couldn’t trust I would receive the love I yearned for and practical love through action which I needed in order to continue my little life.  

Before language set in fully, I determined being the ultimate protector and caretaker was what I needed to be in order to survive.

This was  imprinted upon my innermost psyche:  If I take care of others well, we will all stay safe. 

This might have been my unspoken but definitely believed mantra – the existential background music, so now that my two younger brothers are dead, I have been proven lacking.

I have been proven lacking again. And Again. And again.

The adult, intellectual me says how flawed this belief is as we are all finite creatures. The spiritual side disagrees, saying “our souls are infinite, my brothers have gone nowhere”. The petulant side claps back with “oh yeah, if they’re here why can’t I shake and scold them for leaving me, for not fighting harder, what did I do wrong so that they didn’t fight longer or better?”

Kahlil Gibran ambles in and says a version of his lesson on Children:

“Your brothers were not your children any more than your children are your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.”

I realize in a flash or a glimmer of a flash I can trust life’s longing, the divine heartbeat, because each circumstance I have lived so far has proven itself to be a guide as much as I hated some of those situations and circumstances, as much as I wanted to vomit the moments from my existence – eventually the gratitude for them turned over in the soil as mulch, to be fragrant and helpful to my personal ecosphere.

I am sitting with that. 

Hands off keyboard.

This morning I danced. I said I would dance so I danced in front of the mirror to Nat King Cole’s L-O-V-E twice. I trusted and acted.

I did my lymph exercises in the room of the manse I designated for dance and exercise. I trusted myself to do this, too. It isn’t a habit or a practice yet, it is an intention I am doing my best to fulfill.

Before I sat to write I moved. And I laughed as I danced and I breathed deeply as I moved my lymph system purposefully and it all felt so good, something I wanted to do yesterday but hadn’t built my self-trust ladder sturdy enough yet and now, apparently I have. 

Today at this moment I have trusted and acted on purpose.  Today at this moment my trust is enriched as even white bread may be enriched with nutrients. 

Self-trust is an ultimate nutrient.

The little me can go back and trust her parents who she knows were doing the best they could do.  They didn’t need my assistance, I offered my  assistance with love, even as a toddler. Perhaps part of my assistance was a prayer for love, but it was birthed in love nonetheless as was I.

I was birthed in love, even if my birth wasn’t planned or convenient or even if my parents actively attempted to prevent my conception. I am a gift from life’s longing for itself. I can reference more sacred texts and embrace this.

After dancing and exercising and trusting myself to walk toward feeling better,  I simply engaged with trust at the urging of my friend Laurie Smith and Kahlil Gibran showed up to offer healing.

I can’t think of anything to be much cooler than that.

What has been your favorite moment so far this morning?

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

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Make Your World Better By Becoming an Intentional Yay-Sayer

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Let’s replace naysaying – taking away people’s joyful visions and instead become active yay-sayers: celebrating accomplishments through joyful acknowledgment.

What has your experience of naysayers been like? The practice of naysaying can be like pouring poison over my ideas. Depending on whether or not I am having a good day or not, someone sneering down their nose with a critique can shut off my positive, forward moving flow almost immediately.

Recently in Brene Brown’s book, Atlas of the Heart, I read about freudenfreude: experiencing joy from other people’s joy. I did my own research and found a fascinating article from Dr. Catherine Chambliss from Ursinus College. She wrote, “Schadenfreude refers to the unattractive human tendency to take pleasure in the misery of others. Freudenfreude describes its opposite, the lovely enjoyment of another person’s success.”

Let’s fill our day with freudenfreude and yaysaying. When someone says something they are happy or proud or delighted by, I challenge you to respond with yay-saying and curiosity. First, share sincere praise and celebration. Follow it up with a question about the success.

Here are some questions to use and modify for your purposes.

* Your idea is so interesting to me – how did you come up with it?

* Oh, you must feel so great. What will you do next to go further with this?

* I love how you told this story. Do you have any advice or wisdom so I may learn just a tiny bit from your success?

These questions both intentionally share the joy of the others accomplishment and they also may help you determine if this is a person you would like to develop a deeper friendship with, too. If they don’t want to share the tiniest bit of how they got there or what they’re dreaming of next, perhaps you don’t want to spend more time with them after all.

On the other hand, if they are friendly and generous to share their joy a bit, this is a signal that the yay-saying may indeed become reciprocal. In the future, they will be more likely to be a person who understands the value of freudenfreude and shower you with joyful praise, too.

We need more of this in the world, don’t we?

Speaking of which, what have you accomplished lately? I want to share your joy!

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.


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