Creative Life Midwife

Inspiring Artistic Rebirth

Love & Fear & Pain and How Writing Always Provides a Path to Feeling Better: Every Single Time

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It happened again today, something happened that I long to write about but I don’t want to write because I don’t want to feel the pain of it.

I am still awake at 2:01 am. A fly is buzzing about my otherwise quiet room and I may open the window to tune into a bird who is singing outside the window, or was, before I attempted to construct this sentence.

I open the windows, I set my timer and the bird no longer sings.

A car drives by, a candle flickers next to me: no bird song.

What a moment ago brought infinite delight may so easily be clouded by unnecessary thought pollution: “I did something wrong, I didn’t appreciate the bird so the bird flew away. Perhaps the mulberries went stale from the power of complaints about them earlier today. My neighbor hates my mulberry tree and probably hates birds, too. Especially when they poop purple.”

I take my hands off the keyboard.

I listen to the silence, coaxing the bird back.

Here’s the thing: I can’t coax the bird back, I can only coax myself back to the keyboard, one word at a time. I remembered earlier today throughout the day, “I feel better when I write.”

The several days ago version of me must have known this version of me would be appearing, the version of me that gets buried in sadness, that gets tugged at by insecurity and worry and fear.

I was startled by the sound of applause, my timer setting announcing my five minutes of writing is done.

I examine my fingers, distraction addiction, and I decide to “re-up” for a second five minutes, focusing on love. Love as a prompt, I think, toning “love” in between sentences, phrases and quotes of love.

Like the Beatles singing, “All you need is love…” and the cynical version of me shoves a raspberry in her mouth and blows out in disagreement, blotting the thought from my consciousness. Love: is a many splendored thing.

I don’t understand lyrics and writing like that. What is a “splendored thing” anyway?
Reminds me of the many ways NOT to use jargon in writing. Splendid I understand, superb I get. These are good, more than adequate.

Splendored is silly almost junior high aged attempt to be smart sounding?

Love is. Love IS! That’s the perfect love sentence and in fact, is quite grounding.

Love is patient, as Paul says. Love is kind. Love is purple – lavender, the color of sunrise and sunset and transitions. Love will keep you steady during transitions and times of difficulty. Love sometimes leans in and holds you when you need it. Sometimes love wants to show you a slightly different way and you might even feel hurt by it (like the… and the applause comes again and I decided to stop before I ramble down that lane that might come across as negative.

It is 2:14. The time twice a day that remembers Valentine’s Day.

As almost always, I feel better now than when I started. Which is why I write and suggest, so strongly, other people write, too. Just let your words flow, don’t worry about grammar or syntax or rules you long ago learned and forgot.

Just move your pencil, your pen, your fingers on the keyboard.

And now I have a writing prompt for tomorrow.

Things just keep getting better.

 

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The Struggle is Conceived in Your Mind and Cemented in Your “Buy In” + Lack of Intentional Action

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Please, please, please may our lives move beyond memes and into three dimensional living?

I am trying to not be a pain in the derrierre. Truly. But there are certain lines I just can’t cross.

I have taken a stand against foul language as well as violent language. If marketers or even brilliant people say they have a killer program or they want to slay or kick (usually a version of a donkey) or the like, I just won’t consume that product.

So I felt a real “ick, no won’t get there” vibe with the word “struggle” and when a challenge I am in focused on my ideal client’s struggles and writing struggles into being so that I could slay them I just had to say no.

I am choosing not to do that.

I decided first I would try to play nice. I would do some research on synonyms for struggle and all would be well and I would transform my thoughts.

The exact opposite happened.

Synonyms for struggle all lined up with violence and battle and difficulty and all of those not-Julie-isms I realized there is a reason for this disapproval. There is a reason none of this sits well for me and I get blocked by it.

When I say I am aligned with peace and justice and equality and love, I need to use language accordingly.

Instead of struggle, I will choose to create with the word “Challenge” because that – my friends, is something I thrive on.

Why?

A challenge may be won by many.

A challenge may be embraced collaboratively: there doesn’t have to be one big kahuna, there may be a tribe standing in a circle and singing “kum-bay-a” as they reach the top if that fits.

When I was a kid my siblings teased me mercilously because I didn’t want to play the family softball games. “How about no score keeping this time?” I would offer up. “What if this time we don’t have winners and losers?”
Back then it was because I didn’t like having responsibility for making my team lose, but little compassionate sweet hearted Julie is still alive and well in middle-aged Julie.

I challenge you to pay close attention to the words you are using and the way you are using said words.

I challenge you to aim towards being the most successful person you may possibly be and perhaps even gathering a few others up in your reach and inspiring them to be ridiculously successful, too.

I challenge you to laugh, to love, to sing, paint, dance, hike, build others up with abandon. Wear tie-dye if you feel like it. Wear a three piece suit or carry a personalized Coco Chanel bag.

Or create a vision of yourself in your ideal place. Dream wide and deep and colorful.

Let’s do this – whatever your this is.

The world is waiting.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist  whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

 To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

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The Literary Grannies Rise Because…. They Want Us to Be Free

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It isn’t a secret I love literary grannies: women writers who forged a path so that my words would be more respected than they might have been without them. I’ve written about them, I’ve visited many homes and gravesites and workspaces.

I’ve shared their work, I’ve fangirled their books, I’ve searched for photos, made jewelry and mixed media art emblazoned with their faces. I love these women similar to how I have crushes on Albert Schweitzer and Henry David Thoreau.

Recently I’ve been thinking about my literary grannies more and more and after finding the opening quote from Anne Sexton, it only seemed right to continue my thoughts in poem form.

I created this prompt as well – which you may also see in my Instragram Feed or on my Writing Camp with JJS facebook page.

For The Others

“I am a collection of dismantled almosts.” 
― Anne Sexton,

Have you heard the debate about 13 reasons why?

I wonder what Anne would say?

I wonder how Sylvia would spin it?

I wonder what Virginia and Sara might chime in when people made statements like “don’t watch” or “you must watch” or “we must talk about this” we must break down the walls.

A slight mist of a memory taps on my fingers.

“Remember Mr. Riordan (not exactly his name – the context here has given him a pseudonym(

gave your paper to the student teacher to grade.

Did she ever say anything to anyone about the story I wrote?

The story of suicide? The months later when I hid in a closet rather than go to school?”

No one said depression back then. No one suggested I might be fragile.

Might benefit from having someone of my own to talk to.

Someone who would listen without being afraid of what might dissolve

If I gave it voice.

My life now, becoming a love letter to her from the future.

I was a collection of dismantled almosts, like Anne.

And like Sylvia, I know the value of expecting nothing from anybody

Except for myself – now.

 “If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed.”

Sylvia Plath

This is for you, Anne.

And you, Virginia.

And you, Charlotte.

And you, Sara.

And you, Sylvia.

This is for the women who remain nameless –

= = =

Sara Teasdale is a favorite poet, a prize winning liteary granny, who committed suicide.

I also wrote this as a facebook status/note  after seeing yet another commentary on why we should or shouldn’t watch the controversial Netflix series, “13 Reasons.” Here it is:

I’ve been listening/reading the conversation about “13 Reasons”, the Netflix series about teen suicide. Tonight when I read an article about it and how a counselor at Montclair Public Schools wrote a letter that was sent to all parents in their schools about it.

This reminded me of a short story I wrote in eighth grade about a girl attempting suicide. I got a decent grade, but I remember being disappointed I wasn’t pulled aside to talk. When I hid in a closet for four days during school hours to avoid going to school because I was bullied and taunted, it wasn’t talked about (to me) afterwards either.

After I graduated from Dana Hills high school, four classmates killed themselves. Discussed only in passing.

When Marlena was stillborn and I finally went to therapy and my therapist said the word “depression” in relationship to me I remember hearing my heartbeat crushingly loud in my ears. I could barely hear myself mumble that away. “This is situational…” I think I lasted two more sessions.

We need to talk openly about mental illness and grief. It isn’t drama or manipulation. It isn’t game playing. People with mental illness are not to be avoided and for goodness sakes, don’t ignore them – we all deserve to be heard. When I am in a depressed phase, having no one talk with me is beyond words sad.

I’m sleepy. Just wanted to say this before I went to sleep.

http://www.cnn.com/…/13-reasons-why-teen-suicide-debate-ex…/

Virginia Woolf and her sisters. She also died due to suicide.

Take a mini retreat in the canyon, perhaps… or in a local park.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-mediaartist  whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming through the end of 2016.

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735

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How to Create Positive Stories: Slice of Life to Spectacular Living

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Take your everyday life experiences and turn them into story moments. Why get angry when you may spin a positive tale and just feel better?

I texted. A quick response was sent in return.

I texted again, this time, no response. Repeated again, no response. Again I waited.

I could have chosen to get angry and upset. I could have made a fist and dramatically tossed it around lamenting my student’s irresponsibility and my own, for waiting until the last minute to wash the PE clothes my son forgot to take to school and here I am wasting my time instead of being productive and OH MY GAWSH this is horrid….

Instead of fretting, I created a positive, silly story.

I created. I made something – I made the waiting fun instead of annoying.

This is what storytellers do. We don’t wait for “the big thing” to fall into our laps, we walk around scouting stories. We connect with people, ask questions, laugh, and engage. In today’s world, we sometimes use social media to further the process along.

Here, a day in the life – that goes awry when… the forgotten PE clothes faux pas comes to light.

Here it is, briefly, in this short video – my morning, before the clothes were discovered at home. And then, after my exchanges with the folks at school.

Can you relate to these vignettes? Here’s more of the specifics underneath the brief video.

The time came when I had to go into the school office. I stood, waiting to chat with the secretary and noticed it. A proclamation from the Assistant Principal declaring leaving items for students was banned. I held the PE clothes in my hands, carefully hidden contents in a bag that has now been banned from the state of California.

My first hurdle: the discovered proclamation and the secretary.

My strategy: provide a solution, be polite and pleasant so I increase the chances of getting my way.

“Good morning! My son left his PE clothes this morning and I need to get them to him.”

She looked at me blankly, “Unfortunately we have a new policy….” she directed her eyes toward the letter I had noticed from the assistant principal.

“Oh, does that mean I can’t go to the Dean’s office and leave them? I’ve done that before this year…” I attempted to look non-chalant as I lobbed strategy number one her way.

“Go ahead then,” agreed the secretary, sounding perhaps slightly disgruntled.

“I have done it since November, I didn’t know about the policy,” I said, commiserating with her.

“No one does,” she lamented. “No one.”

I signed in, happily. Took my picture to get my badge, happily. I commented how much I liked my photo and joked more with the secretary.

My strategy worked! I was in!

Off to the Dean’s office.

Hurdle: Their allegiance with the administration may cause them to balk at my request.

Strategy: Pull the austism card if necessary. Be extra polite and understanding. Smile.

“Good morning!” (Upbeat voice, smile.) “I’m sorry, I know the policy about not dropping things here for our students but…”

“What policy?” asked the friendly Dean’s Office secretary.

I explained the policy and she, surprisingly, didn’t seem to care much and asked my student’s name. I told her. 

“Oh, I know Samuel!” she said happily. 

“Yeah, he turns his phone off at school, he follows the rules to a T so I couldn’t even let him know I’m here.”

“You’re fine! I’ll take care of it,” she said. She also told me about a special class they’re starting to help special needs students. She had a connection with me and wanted to share.

“That’s such a great idea,” I continued. “I bet parents will find real value in that.” (Sincere thought.)

I literally skipped back to the office to check out with my new best friend, the secretary.

The end of the story is I made an important connection for my volunteer work and parenting. I plan to go back tomorrow with some materials for my Parent Club AND I imagine myself to be a positive highlight to the ever undervalued secretary’s day.

While I was in process of creating this post I created even more story, shared my #5for5BrainDump on snap chat which I’ll repurpose into other promotions which will help the world get better when people continue to communicate more clearly.

This is SUCH perfection, all in quick, fun, quirky slivers of storytelling. I’ll take it!

I could have chosen to be angry, frustrated, mad at my child and myself and the school and instead, I created a win-win-win-many times over win again – just like you may, too.

 

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End Your Fear of Criticism: Improve Your Work, Your Writing, Your Art Now

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Don’t let fear take over your best work. Befriend criticism to take improve your work and have a bigger impact.

One of the most worrisome challenges for many writers and artists is the fear of criticism.

I want to prove to you I know criticism well. There was this time when criticism hurt the most.  Here’s what happened.

I thought the work I had done was brilliant. I was ready to perform and wow everyone. I couldn’t wait for “sure to follow” praise.

What I wasn’t expecting was to have the work I had done fail from my acting teacher’s perspective

Instead, the critique came labeled absolute failure. Could the criticism be any worse?

My teacher told me to lie down on my back and re-speak my monologue, line for line, with no emotion. He wanted it spoken without emphasis, one sentence at a time.

And I couldn’t cry. I wouldn’t cry. If I cried, that would mean I believed I was a failure and I might not be brave enough to come back to class.

For a cryer-emoter like me, this felt like torture.  I was unprepared for the criticism my teacher offered. “I don’t buy it,” he said. “You aren’t being real.”

Eventually I saw this same criticism as an enormous gift.

I did what my teacher told me. I spoke my monologue from the floor. I allowed myself to fail well through criticism and returned to class the next week for more instruction, for more improvement, for more growth as both an actor and as a human. “This is what I would tell my coaching clients to do,” I reminded myself.

Guess what happened next?

I chose to improve from the criticism I received. I continued to practice. I auditioned for roles – some I’ve gotten and some I haven’t.

I’ve won acting awards. I’ve been in countless plays, some music videos, done some film work. I’ve directed and written.

I’ve taken the criticism I received and used it to improve, just as I have with my writing and mixed media art.

I changed my relationship with criticism, made it work for me rather than allowed fear and other emotional attachments to get in the way of future success.

If I never went back to that acting class – which would have been my usual pattern – the “What if I had?” would hold me in improvement limbo.

How might you apply what I learned that day and continue to practice every day of my life?

  1. Listen to the criticism offered fully and ask yourself, “Where is the truth in the critique?”
  2. Be aware of who is offering the criticism. Is it someone who is an expert in the field? Is this person offering objective or subjective critique? Where is the value in the criticism?
  3. Most importantly, continue to show up and do what it is you love to do.  Few of us, if any, begin as masters of the craft. This was an important lesson from my acting class – that even though I had raw talent and the building blocks of being a decent actor, there was still so much room to grow.

Usually when I tell the story of how I came back to acting after thirty years away, I share about the transcendent moment that came in the class session right before this one. Welcome to the rest of my story, when things got even better.

This was the moment in my life when I finally learned to accept criticism as a means to improve and a way to grow into this always continuing to achieve more version of myself. If I had stayed afraid of criticism, I would never continue acting. We get notes EVERY night at rehearsal. It is a nightly opportunity to get critiqued and the primary focus is fixing the mistakes you’re making rather than praising the moments you did well. As an actor, if you can’t take that, you’re sunk.

I have included several prompts for you to use for writing or other forms of creative expression including contemplative thought and conversation among friends and broadcasting or video. If you happen to use the prompts to make anything you post online, I would love for you to link back to this post as a way to say THANK YOU!

PROMPT: Remember a time you received criticism. What happened next?

Use the phrase, “I remember” to start your writing and then just let your words flow across the page without editing, forethought or planning. 

Stay with this perspective of criticism just like I stayed with my acting class, even though I was initially humiliated by criticism.

I have offered you some alternative prompts in case the first one didn’t resonate entirely.

Prompt: I remember the time I was criticized. It felt….

I remember the time I was criticized (describe the critique). It felt…. and in response I….

These quote sources may also help, especially if you choose to turn your writing into an essay, blogpost, video, live broadcast or a chapter in a book.

99 Motivational Quotes to Help You Deal with Criticism from Inc.com

34 Inspiring Quotes on Criticism (and how to Handle It) from PositivityBlog.com 

17 Quotes: Forget the Critic and Believe in Yourself (from the Muse.com)

The rest of the rest of the story is this:

My original acting teacher and I last worked together five or six years ago. He called me and said something like this, “I am calling to beg you to take a role in….” and I did. The woman who wrote the play told me afterwards my portrayal pleased her more than any of the other actors who shared the stage with me, but that praise mattered less than the fact I enjoyed myself completely and have stories to tell I didn’t have before. 

I am on hiatus from stage and screen and am making a list of who I want to work with the next time I opt onto the stage. My acting teacher is on the list. 

Here’s to more powerful criticism and even more growth for you. This post was inspired by a live broadcast created for the Peri10K.com community. If you are interested in being a part of a carefully curated, collaborative mastermind of thought leaders & world changers who aim to create the most inspiring content online, visit peri10k.com/join to be put on the waitlist and notified when the group re-opens to new members.

Here I am writing by the graveside of Louisa May Alcott, the author of Little Women – a highly successful book that hasn’t been out of print since it was published more than 100 years ago.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

Contact Julie now to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Check out the links below to follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.

Please stay in touch: Follow me on Twitter: @JulieJordanScot    and on Periscope 

Be sure to “Like” WritingCampwithJJS on Facebook. (Thank you!)

Follow on Instagram   And naturally, on Pinterest, too!      © 2016

 

 

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Top 5 Methods to End Writer’s Block & Make #5for5BrainDump Work to Create More Content

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People get stuck on words everyday: can you relate to what I’m saying?

Sometimes people get stuck before they even start, the writer’s block happens before the thought of the pencil is put into the hand, before the computer is turned on, before the assignment of the term paper is given by the professor to the class.

My own daughter got writer’s block this Fall semester in college and I did what I do every day with people who come to me needing a breakthrough: I gave her some prompts without explaining why. I told her “Five minutes, just write for five minutes without worrying what your words say. Just trust me, just write.”

And she did just that. She wrote, without editing or thinking or planning or editing on each and every seemingly ridiculous prompt I offered her.

Guess what?

Her paper got done and she managed to get an A in a class she thought she was going to fail because she continued to write. She didn’t allow her negative thoughts or fear get in the way of the words that were waiting to be written.

The thing is, we need to let our words out.

We need to give space for those words to be “heard” by our fingers and translated into essays or instruction manuals or chapters of books or dialogue in the screenplay.

Are you with me?

Chances are you are here because you need to write something and you hit that wall we sometimes call “writer’s block” or sometimes we just call it “block”.

No matter what we call it, it has the same impact: we are unable to take our vision for what we want to say into a coherent written document.

This translates into an angry boss or a bad grade, perhaps, or at best not being able to express ourselves turns into an argument or a growing mountain of disagreement.

Here’s the thing: together we may prevent your writer’s block so easily. Ask this: “If you could discover how to overcome writer’s block in 5 different ways, would you be willing to try one (or more) to eliminate the possibility of pain writer’s block inevitably brings?”

Mark Twain wrote, “The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”

These simple techniques will do exactly that: start you on your way to never having writer’s block again in 5 minute chunks of time. Just like that, you’re writing will start and continue over and over again in mini-writing-miracles so eventually your worry will be wiped clean. Any time you get stuck for words again, just do the practice again.

Magically – your words flow – just like that.

1. Word-Chant: Write the topic word or phrase repeatedly on the page. If you are alone, you may even say it aloud as you write. As you get into a rhythm, other words will begin to flow. Follow those words wherever they take you. Repeat as necessary within your 5 minute brain dump session.

2. Doodle on the page. Instead of trying for simply words, make shapes and squiggles while thinking of the word or phrase that is the subject of your writing. In the image below you will see the doodles for a brain dumper who was writing about “How to Create a Believable Character.” You may also find moving outside “conventional language” in this way helps a lot.

Doodling before you write helps a lot, especially if you have experienced any writing blocks at all.

3. Collapse the Inner Editor with Emily’s Method. Some writer’s get stuck with their brain dumps because they allow their inner editor or perfectionist (some call this “voice” the inner critic or for me, Miss Pizarro, my third grade teacher) space rather than fully turning the words over to flow. Emily Dickinson had a brilliant solution to this problem. She added plus signs as she wrote instead of searching for the “perfect” word, she jotted any word that might be a possibility onto the page beside or above the original word. See some examples of how that might look below.

4. Give yourself permission to write as horribly as possible for five minutes. This may be my favorite technique at all. It is so fun to be horrible with a flourish. Yes, my friend, you may be an awful writer. How exciting to think of it!                                                                                                                                                                                                       

5. Borrow from a favorite “Amygdala Hijacking Technique.” Gleaned Daniel Goleman’s work with emotional intelligence. Your amygdala is the part of your brain that is responsible for your emotional responses and has the capacity to shut off your neocortex (where your logical thinking lives) instantaneously. In my creative life coaching practice, I train people to stop the hijack by turning their amygdala inside out. It is stopped by switching the brain to any other thought. I like to do so in fives so I suggest when folks start feeling that wild fear to name five things of any category – five types of green vegetables, five girls names that start with A, five cities in Europe, five favorite musicals – it can be anything at all. Just start making lists and watch where your interest goes. Write according to that interest which leads us to a bonus tip.If you aren’t having fun with your #5for5BrainDump process, walk away for 5 minutes and come back to your writing after you have had a drink of water, a bit of a stretch and if possible, watch an under three minute video that makes you laugh.

BONUS TIP: Try to write again, using one of these five techniques without pausing after the video. You’ll still be laughing. The writing will be fun. You will have switched from writer’s block to writing beneficially.

Instant miracles, infinite breakthroughs and more insights you ever imagined.

To participate in #5for5BrainDump, visit our sister site at 5For5BrainDump.com now.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

 To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Check out the links below to follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.

Please stay in touch: Follow me on Twitter: @JulieJordanScot    and on Periscope 

Be sure to “Like” WritingCampwithJJS on Facebook. (Thank you!)

Follow on Instagram   And naturally, on Pinterest, too!      © 2016

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Check out the links below to follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.

Please stay in touch: Follow me on Twitter: @JulieJordanScot    and on Periscope 

Be sure to “Like” WritingCampwithJJS on Facebook. (Thank you!)

Follow on Instagram   And naturally, on Pinterest, too!      © 2016

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