Creative Life Midwife

Inspiring Artistic Rebirth

October Outlook: Grateful for YOU, dear Reader of this Blog

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Autumn leaves and a blue sky with text that welcomes friends, long time and new. Inspiration for writing, blogging and content creation with Julie Jordan Scott.

If I had to use three words to describe myself last year at this time I would say “hurting, perplexed, tenacious.”

IN OCTOBER, 2021

I was hurting because my father died less than six months before October last year. I had been my mother’s primary caretaker from April through July and spent much of that time simultaneously emptying her home before assisting my brothers in moving her into an assisted living facility. I was perplexed because I had managed to hurt my middle daughter by following through to move to New Jersey without adequate ongoing communication for a much needed sabbatical from my life on the west coast. I was tenacious because I didn’t stop trying to get it – life – work – my creative pursuits – better than they had since I had a near death experience in 2019 and quite honestly, for a few years leading up to that.

WHEN LIFE’S PLANS ARE DIFFERENT THAN YOUR OWN….

I didn’t know last October I would go on a wildly circuitous route to find myself starting over again. I am back to the manse where I started my “year of creative retreat and radical self-care” on October 6, 2021.  

I didn’t know it would devolve or evolve into a second period of intense grief, and crisis caregiving of an entirely different sort which lead me to spend January, March, May, June, July, August, half of the preceding December and half of September only to return right back where I started – as if my hopes and dreams chewed me up and spit me out – and I got back up, Slowly and sometimes quite unsurely I brushed myself and my circumstances off and insisted upon finishing what I desperately longed to start AND finish.

AND THE IRONY OF THINGS D/EVOLVING INTO BETTER

Ironically – and I wouldn’t have expected to be saying this – but experiencing that crisis caregiving time healed the rift with my middle daughter, strengthened my reserves and built my west coast family into much more of a team. Our communication is stronger. It is safe to say we all feel more resilient.

There was one important request I made before I got on an airplane and headed back east on September 15.

DOING LIFE DIFFERENTLY: THE SIMPLE THINGS

I said “You guys need to text me for no real reason. You need to let me know how you are, tell me how your day went, ask me how I am doing, because right now, I get scared with every text I receive. 

“When I left last year I only heard from any of you if something bad happened. I do not want it to be like that.”

It isn’t like that.  Our healing through tears, struggles, laughter, strength building and stubborn will changed us all for the better.

I am still grieving – with my younger brother’s death last December 10th there are still tender firsts to experience. I am still concerned about the health of my family members.  There is still left over sadness because I was hustling so much to be sure Samuel’s college tuition was paid I didn’t get to invest in as much time in work around my home in Bakersfield or connecting with friends AND.. things are so much better I am still wondering when I will wake up from this dream.

THE HEALING POWER OF POETRY

In May Swenson’s poem, “October”, one stanza includes this section:

“I sit with braided fingers

and closed eyes

in a span of late sunlight.

The spokes are closing.

It is fall: warm milk of light,

though from an aging breast.

I do not mean to pray.

The posture for thanks or

supplication is the same

as for weariness or relief.”

YOUR THREE WORDS… OR PHRASES.

For you, I am grateful for your presence, I am thrilled to connect with you again, and I am honored to meet and walk alongside new companions

I am relieved and thrilled to be back here for another October with you and another Ultimate Blog Challenge. I have not been stable through any of the months we have done this since… I don’t know when – surely at least since 2019  but that makes me even more determined to be here for the other participants as well as to honor what I have been through this year and what is coming next in the future.

I would love to hear what you are looking forward to in October and how I might help you either in the content I write or the encouragement I may be able to offer you.

I am beyond words grateful that you are here reading my words.

Woman hugging a cartoon tree - white with black polka dots

Julie Jordan-Scott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Northwest New Jersey (Sussex Borough, Nj) where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch exclusive reel videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

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July: 2022 Begin Again”The Best is Yet to Be”

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I am a relentless optimist, usually. Today as we begin a new month, I am reclaiming my Optimistic Hat as will many of us in the community of bloggers in the Ultimate Blog Challenge.

Ultimate Blog Challenge banner for Fridays which will be recaps and refreshers. Today is all about goals: being and doing goals, intentions and writing goals.

Recap: The Year that Wasn’t

I had some ambitious yet also not too outrageous goals when 2022 started.

Unfortunately, my brother’s death with less than two weeks left to go in 2021 helped start everything off in a rather dark way. Two family deaths in a short time was nearly unbearable.

I didn’t factor in grief as well as the health failures of another family member in which were healing after I left California in February and came to a climax in March – when I returned for three weeks and then in May, when I returned for final stages of that healing only to find his health had slidden beyond the place where it had started getting bad.

It had become a crisis so I had to give up my sabbatical on the east coast for a time not just for standard caregiving but for crisis caregiving. 

Somehow the past me knew I would be best off by setting goals differently this year.

Refresh Intention: Goals of Being + Goals of Doing

CS Lewis Quote: There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." Relax about the year so far and settle into what is next.

Goals of Being are more like the Miss Congeniality winner intentions and goals: engaging, kind but not threatening – more like the one who builds up others confidence rather than setting the bar too high for the average person.

Goals and intentions of doing focus on accomplishments, achievements, tangible, measurable tasks and the like.

I revisited my goals for the year and was thrilled when I realized my crowning glory was in the goals and intentions of being. Here are some examples:

I am consistently 

  • Enjoy the process, whatever the process becomes
  • Be present to what is rather than what was or what is to be in the future.
  • Create small, daily goals and move forward with love toward a desired result
  • Practice clear, soulful communication
  • Do a daily self-belonging check in as a part of my work-prep session (since I have been caregiving and not business building, my work is showing tender loving care to my family member and others providing health care and service to my family member.
  • Playful experimentation and practicing passionate detachment about the results: I continue to write and do writing and creative experiments even while not working on building my business. This is as close to “doing” as these goals are!

Looking into July, I will be returning to my original 2022 goals and updating them on my Friday weekly recap posts here. My hope is I encourage you as well to look at your own goals and intentions as I do – with authenticity, courage and hope.

Caregiving, Grieving and the Creative Life

My professional life work includes creative life coaching, facilitating personal growth programs, classes, courses and workshops. My caregiving life this year has included several members of my family. Health, Grief, Aging, Support.

It is very difficult to schedule classes, clients, speaking engagements and live streams or set goals and intentions around this while grieving or caring for loved ones. I can barely schedule one hour ahead, much less a few weeks or months ahead.

Since April 2021 I have both grieved and taken care of others, simultaneously.

During these months I have continued to be active creatively: I’ve written a short play (it was produced in May and I was able to see it while I was in Bakersfield), I have been in a play in a new community. I have written many blog posts, poetry, completed a 377 daily challenge and while in New Jersey my primary task was working on the completion of several book projects while rebuilding my business. I have participated in other blog challenges and I hope to complete this one.

Since mid-May until now, in early July, the caregiving has taken over all other activities except for writing and creative practices in the early morning moments and late night moments. Most of the time, that is.

I don’t know if I could even attempt the Ultimate Blog Challenge without this continued attention to creativity. I am so grateful for the people who will visit in July and comment, share my work and get to know me better or get reacquainted. 

I’m grateful to celebrate with you in all your best hopes, goals and intentions.

I have come to value friendships on an even higher plane since my father died and the many tumultuous chapters since then. You may have helped me and didn’t even know it. For this and other things, I am grateful you are here, reading.

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

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Another April: To Become Whatever It Will Be

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This is me: March, 2022

It is April Eve and again, I am valiantly sitting at the keyboard to write. I pledge right now to do my best to publish a blog post daily in this, the most historically deadly month of my life. April.

I have spent the better part of the last half hour dissecting blog posts from April, 2007 here I captured early grief after my brother, John’s death on April 2 of that year.

I captured a poem my then nine-year-old daughter wrote, a phone call from my mother, an email from my father.

This is why I write, why I blog, why I share what feels painful and what feels joyful and even, on occasion, what is downright boring because all of it is the bold and valiant proclamation, “I am alive, still.”

It is April, another good month to be alive: quote on pen and paper, and a dyed book page.

I cannot say exactly what I will create this month, I will only say that I will create this month. Here is a snippet of the poem I wrote just now, a draft, a poem-in-the-making. Love letter of sorts to life, to grief, to experience. To continuing in April.

It is April Eve. My heart and I, we

are fluttering. We are flailing. We

are openly and willfully gripping the 

sides of the armchair, praying – begging –

to see this through to the end.

Whatever this this may be.

I so wanted this poem to have a happy ending.

I wrote this poem to feel less dead inside, to begin and not end.

No ending, no beginning. Wait.

Wait.

Who said that  only infinite thing?

Fellini, it was. And I hear myself exhale a quiet laugh not laughter

Maybe a lau – breath – gh- breath.

I cry into the palms of my hands and feel the chilled fingers

reach across my lined forehead.

What is a happier ending than to still being able

to put letters on a page, like a five-year-old-me 

scrawled cursive lower case e’s before I knew how language 

worked, I simply knew language was. It existed. I existed. Together.

We would create. This. And That. Something.

Badly, better, happier, boring, worst, best, eeeeeeeee

looping carefully in pencil across blue lines 

Eeeeeee as I sat, deeply focused in the country

squire before I was

Banished to the way back

I never knew

someday a much older version of me

would create a magic circle to honor

my brother and give a gift to my father and my 

mother no one else could give?

It is April Eve. My heart and I, we

are fluttering. We are looping through another

April. We are alive. We are still writing

things down. If I am still alive in fifteen 

years I can recall the things I will have 

Inevitably forgotten this.

===

I hope we will connect meaningfully this month.

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

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What’s Next? Creative Life Midwife Blog in December & 2022

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Gratitude to the Blog Visitors: woman writing ina notebook and circles of gratitude in this holiday flavored image

During November, I participated once again in the Ultimate Blog Challenge. Although I wasn’t perfect in my participation, I would say I improved greatly from past challenges. A big part of that is from the community created by Paul Taubman with the Ultimate Blog Challenge.

Gratitude: One of the Most Powerful Energies there is!

The people who are in the challenge are always a great support, but this year I took some risks in what I posted and was met repeatedly with meaningful comments and connections.

I have connected with some people in the challenge in the past, but this session was special because of the care of each comment participants made and how regularly my posts were shared with their audiences. I cannot thank each of you enough.

Please: if you have a blog consider participating in the next challenge by using the link above or this Ultimate Blog Challenge link right here! 🙂

What’s next? 12 Days of Vlogmas Gifts to Make Your 2022 Creatively Bountiful

I have been thinking of doing Vlogmas AND it feels so big, too big, especially as I didn’t quite make it through the Ultimate Blog Challenge for all thirty days THOUGH I was closer than usual thanks to batching my content.

I decided it would be really fun for me to do Vlogmas in 12 Days beginning on December 4th instead of 30 posts starting December 1 (though I leave room to add if I am having tons of fun and want to continue) and offer gifts – primarily tools I use that people may choose to use also via check lists, journaling pages, actual google docs to copy and things like that. 

Together, let’s delight in our individual and collective creative bount by giving and receiving the 12 Days of Vlogmas Gifts!

These tangible (and virtual) helps will make your 2022 more creatively bountiful than it would be on its own.

Who’s up for that?

Let’s Keep Our Connection Alive in December (and Beyond!)

I will share the posts in the Ultimate Blog Challenge group in December. I like popping in there even when there isn’t a challenge going as a way to stay connected on our “no challenge” months. Saying that’s part of my plan will make me more likely to follow through.

I will also be participating in the December Cornerstone Content Blog Challenge run by Jeanine Byers who I met from the Ultimate Blog Challenge. We have become better friends as the years and challenges have gone on. In the Cornerstone Content Blog Challenge. In December we are focusing on sharing on our Facebook Business Pages AND… truth be told I often repurpose a lot of my content sometimes with slight variations so ther 12 Days of Vlogmas Gifts may show up there on some days, too.

In 2022, I will be focusing on offering Soulful Writing Courses and Soulful Writing Circles in addition to launching other courses focused on intentional creative rebirth. In October 2022 I will be opening the doors to offering Intentional Holiday Circles, Even While Grieving again – and for those who want to process on their own, I am creating a journal now for that very purpose.

THANK YOU for being a part of my 2021 experience!

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

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Coffee Shops, Third Spaces and Intentional Conversations

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Through the window of Dagny's, a coffee shop in Bakersfield, California, friend's magically appear and inspire creative sparks in one another.

I am a lover of coffee shops, especially locally owned coffee shops where creative people gather to connect, to converse and to create community. Most of the time artists and solopreneurs work from their home spaces so having a “third place” helps us to feel like we are a part of something bigger than ourselves. The phrase “third places” was started by sociologist  Ray OldenburgRay Oldenburg and refers to places where people spend time other than their home (‘first’ place) and work (‘second’ place). They are associated with being locations where we exchange ideas, have a good time, and build relationships.

I used to be a regular at a coffee shop in Bakersfield called Dagny’s. Even as local other coffee shops started and succeeded, I still favored Dagny’s. I would go there and “hold court” meeting up with people on purpose and by surprise. Friends would bring their friends and the conversation would take tangent turns and I could literally spend hours with changing groups of friends coming and going.

I remember once talking to a brand new friend about the premiere Stravinsky’s “Rites of Spring” in 1913. Her eyes got huge, “I have only known dancers who know this story!” 

When the pandemic started, I knew I would run the risk of missing the conversations I most loved to have at Dagny’s: intentionally more deep than the average complaints about weather or politics and gripes about the coffee they were out of or the limited bagel supply.

I love deep conversations on specific guided topics.

I started something called “Coffee and Intentional Conversations” in March of 2020 with no end date in mind. We first met for an hour a day six days a week, now we meet twice a week for an hour. 

We have a core group of friends who are diverse ethnically, we have different beliefs and live in different places. We don’t talk politics because we don’t want to bring our divisions to the table, we want to bring our connections to the table.

I have often wondered if the group would continue. I considered stopping it several times, thinking it had run its course and yet people continue showing up. I continue kicking our hour off with a “warm up and introduction” question and on Tuesdays we usually have a topic with questions and sometimes we listen to a poem and engage with meaning and stories from that poem. On Saturdays, we most often play games or have free flow, engaging discussion games like two-truths-and-a-lie or “ask me anything” where we ask each other questions we have wanted to know about each other, but never seemed to have the chance to ask.

Basically, we talk about what I would talk about with people in person except we have zoom screens rather than tables and coffee cups.

We have forged deep bonds during a time that is trying at best – and we have had breakthroughs, deep conversations and encouragement that is unique and exceptionally helpful.

What is your favorite experience in coffee shops or “third places”?

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

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Staying the Course While Pausing a Few Days to Heal

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I have been absent from blog posting for the past three days after starting off this month of the Ultimate Blog Challenge at a very strong space. I wasn’t expecting to feel under the weather.

After starting out this month with a lot of posts “in the can” to suddenly hit the wall was surprising.

It is also not like me to pull back, willingly.

Usually I will fight, deny or pretend it isn’t happening.

I pretend I don’t care if I give up on an important project like the ultimate blog challenge.

Sometimes I give up entirely but this time. This time, I took an entirely different approach.

I consciously took excellent care of myself, participating minimally outside of lounging on the sofa or in bed. I did prepare healthy meals and snacks for myself, tea and honey and lots and lots of water.

Alternatives to my “I always do “it” this way” helped the process.

  • I listened to books instead of reading.
  • I treated myself with gentleness: simple things like moving my teakettle upstairs to my bedside helped.
  • I allowed my heart to stay open and followed where it called me to go – and where it called me to stay.
  • Most importantly, I didn’t allow myself to follow my not-feeling-physically well into a flat-out-fear-state. I did have brief sessions in the fear-hallways of my mind, but they were brief. My higher self escorted my fearful self out with great gentleness and compassion.

I didn’t realize it, but caretaking myself and showing this level of self-trust allowed me to open my heart more widely than it is been for years. My spirit opened herself to show aspects of my story I hadn’t been able to access before.

You will be hearing about this over the next few blog posts – I sincerely hope you will return to read.

I have always been one of those “Get back on the horse!” and “Stay the course at all costs” and “Show up above everything!” and I am still that way. However, I am also deeply rooted in compassion – this time, for me. Brene Brown reminds us “If our dispositions aren’t conditioned through self-compassion or self-worth, vulnerability stands to trigger our fears and insecurities — hence, throwing us into survival mode overdrive.”

Honest and truthful self-reflection works wonders

I might have said in the past, “Naturally I am compassionate with myself” but when I step back I can see how much I allowed expectations and personal culture norms to get in the way of my own gentle, nurturing guidance. Instead of survival mode overdrive, which would have lead to a longer time of not feeling up to par, I invested time of deep rest and loving self-care in the worst days of feeling badly.

Even as I type these words, I am planning to take a rest afterwards so I don’t overdo it.

I have heard other people say they are also more gentle with others than themselves. What is your experience with gentleness towards yourself and for others?

Do you feel like you are less of a person if you take your time to heal? I would love to hear from you in the comments.

Julie JordanScott is a multipassionate creative who delights in inviting others into their own fullhearted, artistic experience via her creativity coaching individually or in groups, courses and workshops. To receive inspiring content and videos weekly and find out more about Coaching, Courses, Challenges and what’s going on in the Creative Life Midwife world? Subscribe here:

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

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Welcome, October: am I Ever Grateful to See You!

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Autumn is my favorite season and October is my favorite month within that season.

This honest delight adds to the poignance of October 2019 which I wasn’t able to experience. I look back at this time last year and I had a doctor appointment where the primary plan was to get a referral for a podiatrist for the bunion I have been dealing with painfully for the previous eight years.

The only problem was I was sick when I got to the appointment. I had a fever, a rash, a generalized discomfort which the doctor thought might be valley fever or some random infection so I was sent home with anti-biotics and a follow up appointment where we would dive into the podiatrist referral more fully.

Less than a week later I was at urgent care, the emergency room and the intensive care unit with a fancy combination of illnesses including sepsis which caused many of my organs to fail.

Playing in the pumpkin patches in Tehachapi is a family favorite. Here, four children find the perfect pumpkin.

There was no apple picking, no wild baking, no pumpkin patches or decorating. I was home from the hospital in time for trick-or-treating which I did by sitting on the porch with a big bowl of candy on my lap.

I have never fully explored that time and the healing from it, so here in my blog this month during the Ultimate Blog Challenge, I will share my experiences of those days, the aftermath and the creative lessons gleaned along the way.

I will also share some of the 100 Days of Wonderful Words which we’re using to explore writing in many different platforms and forums in my free community, Word-Love Writing Community on Facebook. If you love words and would benefit from community and prompting, we would love to see you over there. Request membership by clicking here.

I will be posting here daily in October so hold onto your hats, get ready to be inspired, connected and challenged to think newly as we explore health, healing and intentional connection through creative action here at the Creative Life Midwife in October.

Julie JordanScott is the Creative Life Midwife. She fuels creativity in others using artful methods aligned with intentional connection, purposeful passion and soulful rituals. Follow her on social media using the links above.

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Looking into Your Near Future as we #Refresh2020

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Julie JordanScott, Creative Life Coach in her art studio where she writes and creates mixed media art, leads online workshops and aims to make the world a better place.

“What’s next for you?” used to be a simple question to answer. If it wasn’t simple, it at least prompted reflection and discussion about a wide array of possibilities.

In reading blog posts for “The Ultimate Blog Challenge” yesterday, I discovered a missed a prompt that six months ago would have made me smile and rush off into a menu of ideas and plans. With delight I would open a new calendar and jot notes in pencil because I knew at least some of them would be bound to be erased.

The question asked about “The Future” and my view of it, especially in relationship to my writing, my blog, my creativity coaching business.

There are unique nuances about “the future” since we are living in a time of this Covid19 global pandemic. Most of us realize what were once certainties no longer are and a more day-by-day approach usually serves us better.

A 1970's era portable typewriter with paper torn around it on the ground to be a metaphor for the torn up promise of 2020.

This doesn’t mean I like it. It means I am attempting to be an optimistic realist who knows there is no end in sight and I will remain high risk. I think back to a conversation years ago in a restaurant in Union Station in Los Angeles with a friend I met on line from Australia. He had built a multi-million dollar business while bedridden because he asked the question, “What can I do while my body heals using the resources I have?”

For years my work  – whether on this blog or in the workshops I teach or the groups I facilitate or in individual or group coaching or creating social media content –  one overarching theme has been continual since the very beginning.

A group of people gathered around a table at a writing workshop facilitated by Julie JordanScott

I want the messages I offer and the work I do to have a positive impact on people. I want my messages to matter to people. I most desire to have a transforming impact on the people who read my words, who participate in my workshops, classes and coaching.

One of my favorite stories from recent years is when I gave a gentleman a ride when I was working for a ride-sharing company. We had a thirty-minute friendship. The magical energy started when I spoke of the beauty of the overgrown cotton field we passed, the way the golden light was hitting it at the precise moment we were there.

He insisted I turn down the radio so he could hear everything I was saying. He wanted me to say more. I narrated the drive. I spoke of the beauty of the fields we were passing, the homes to our north. We discussed our children, some fully grown and my youngest, still in process. We talked about the future. About what might be next in our lives.

When he left my car, he gave me one of the largest tips I ever received and thanked me earnestly for reminding him to slow down. To notice the world around him. To appreciate the seemingly small things which are actually rather glorious.

It is true whether I am engaging the world as an activist, as a mother, as a teacher, in a portrayal of a scripted character onstage or doing a livestream video and in that earlier moment as a ride-share driver on a randomly selected drive.

Julie JordanScott sitting backstage in a theater dressing room, catching up on writing while waiting during rehearsal.

What is the same is always this space in my heart for forward movement in a world that is often hurting – and hurting badly.

Sometimes I lament the experiences I have had, complaining there has been too much loss, too much fear, not enough wide swaths of sweet satisfaction. In writing tonight, I realize more than ever why that is actually a good thing.

Last night amidst too many illegal fireworks I felt my heart acting in an unusual manner. One of the outcomes from near death- one of those life experiences I would rather not have had – is I know my body much better than I did before I almost died.

I know if my lungs hurt – that what is hurting is a particular spot on my lungs that still hasn’t healed. If I feel in the space above my heart a flutter, flapping, like a group of birds dancing in my chest – that is my heart working through a possible “afib” or irregular heartbeat episode.

These moments where my body reminds me she has been in battle and she has stayed the course and I must, too. I must stay the course, continue doing this work that so compels me in whatever form reaches into the hearts, breath and action of others.

In answer to the original blog prompt question, don’t know what the future holds in a larger “when will I be able to live like I once did?”

I know there is social unrest here in the United States and systemic racism that needs a lot of attention and healing. I know there are military tensions on the border of India and China. I know there are countless other areas in the world and households in my neighborhood where fear reigns supreme.

Amidst all the chaos, my future today and as long as I have to go is provide the world with fuel for creativity and making, context for intentional connection and purposeful passion – and to do so one step at a time, one project at a time and as many people at a time who are ready and willing to step up together, with love.

This blog is a part of the continual and infinite stepping up together.

Doesn’t that feel good?

This week I will begin to lead a group of intrepid people through something I am calling #Refresh2020, a 3 week Pop-Up Experience primarily facilitated in an existing facebook group usually used to reflect at the end of the year as we step into the coming year.

“In these uncertain times” it is important to have a place for conscious, creative and large-hearted people to gather and bring their vulnerable, whole-hearted selves in a place where they may speak to what has been happening and where they may place their “now” and “future” vision safely.

We will be holding space for the unknowing and aiming for our best, even if we don’t know what that best is. If that compels you, consider spending the next month or so with us. Click the image below to connect or ask me any questions you may have in the comments.

Refresh 2020 is a Three Week Pop Up experience to address experiencing 2020 from a fresh perspective. Flowers are the frame, showing optimism amidst the primary unpleasantness that has been indicative of much of 2020.

Join the conversation in our private  Bridge to the New Year Facebook Group

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