Rewriting the Narrative – Page 9 – Creative Life Midwife

Bridge to the New Year Day 1 – Introduction: A Potpourri of Me

December 1, 2018 by jjscreativelifemidwife

In December of 2018 and 2019 we reviewed the prior year and created a vision for the next year. 2020 threw us a curve ball that has left many of us nostalgic and…. longing for anything different.

Below is a throw-back post from Bridge to the New Year that invites you to know who I am at my core – and at the bottom you will see a place to sign up for our Mid-2020 Shift: #Refresh2020…. an initiative to return to Passion and Purpose, even amidst this chaotic. confusing, revolutionary year.

Use this prompt across social media – link up at JuicyJournaling.comhttp://juicyjournaling.com

My first thought was:

How am I going to get 10 – 30 things about me that are in anyway interesting that won’t bore everyone because we all know, well, some of us have been educated – there is nothing more horrid as an artist than being boring.

So. I took some time to brainstorm some things about me you may not know. I haven’t done much proofing so I apologize for any grammatical or spelling errors in advance. Take it as freedom to be imperfect.

1. I have never seen any Harry Potter films nor have I read any Harry Potter books. I know you may be saying “How shocking! That’s appalling! I would LOVE Hermione! How could I not read these fantastic books?! Two parts to that response. 1. I take offense when woman authors don’t proudly stand up and say “I am a woman!” granted, I didn’t know JK Rowlings’ story at the time or I might not have been so strident and 2. When I say something, I usually stick with it.

2. I am a melanoma survivor. I have a large heart scar on my face as a remnant and a reminder. I often cover it with hair styles.

3. I gave up acting for thirty years between the ages of eleven-years-old and forty-one-years-old. Although I am not as active in performance as I once was, I have done more than thirty stage productions, seven films, a documentary and a handful of commercials. Weirdly, I have an IMDB page. How did this happen?

4. Writing and poetry has been in my blood stream since before I was literate. I still love being read aloud to – it is one of my most favorite activities on the planet.

5. One of my highest values is showing up, so if I say I will be somewhere I try really hard to get there and if I am not there, I am either near dead, helping out in a child-emergency, or beating myself up for not planning better or whatever it is that got in my way.

6. I have a brown spot in my left eye. This is one of those boring trivia items just because I tell it all the time and it is no longer interesting.

7. When I was in high school, I entertained my friends during lunch by doing accents. Now I entertain my friends on live stream… doing accents.

8. My uncle Jim used to call me “A dandy baby” primarily because I smiled all the time and was very charming. I used this throughout my childhood and into young adulthood. I remember when we were traveling I would focus on business men with my coquette-ish flirting. I remember receiving at least one gift. In my first job after college at a rental car company, my co-workers were in awe of how many customers brought me gifts.

9. I am an ordained minister, like Joey in Friends. I am also an actual ordained deacon in the Presbyterian Church, USA. I can officiate weddings and funerals and any other sacred ceremonies people might want performed. I have the honor of doing weddings from time-to-time though I really loved facilitating/leading/officiating my brother’s celebration of life after he died and would enjoy doing more of those.

10. I have been blogging since 2003. I had a rather successful website from which I made a sustainable living from 1999 to 2007. I originally blogged to have an “unplugged” place online where I didn’t have to be my “professional persona” all the time. Everything has evolved but I have a block around websites. I have a new one half-assedly in the works and the designer of CreativeLifeMidwife and I never really hit it off in a way that made completion a thing. So. There’s that.

11. I am an art journaler and mixed media artist. (I said that aloud here for some of my artist friends who have been waiting to hear me confess that.) As far as visual arts go, I have mostly sold photos but I have also sold several mixed media pieces. Not a lot, but… perhaps someday.

12. I love to travel and aim to be a digital nomad once my children are up and out of the house. After today, with Emma’s health issues I wonder if that will be any time soon at all, which is a fair thought neither to her nor my vision for the world and the future. These thoughts are exactly why Bridge to 2019 is so important! To work through what happened and gain clarity so that intentions may be set and re-visioning may take place.

13. I have been writing since before I could write. I would dictate to my mother and she would write out what I said and I would copy it in crayon. This is part of my ‘writer’s story” which I feel I overtell.

14. Before I was 45 I lost 5 close friends to various sorts of cancers. I have never explored the impact of this, but I don’t know anyone else who has lost so many close friends. I just connected how close their deaths came to John’s death and the many losses of 2006/7.

15. Speaking of 2007, when John died, I had an out of body experience. How I describe it is this: my soul leaped from the shell that hosts it and chased after John. God (insert whatever word you use here) literally shoved me back into my body and wordlessly told me “No you don’t! Your work isn’t done here.” I might not have believed this really happened except my children who were in the car with me when it happened (yes, the car was parked) saw my body rise up, flop down and miraculously not crash my head against the steering wheel on the descent.

16. I am a PTA Mom. This didn’t happen until Samuel was in High School. I believe in parental involvement, but usually kept my business on the district level. I am grateful my time as a PTA Mom is almost over. My specialty within the group beyond being the secretary is doing all the public speaking and selling stuff.

17. I have been known to say my children are my greatest creative project of all. I believe this to be true. My biggest fear in life is failing my children. I don’t think this fear will ever go away.

Emma, Samuel and I at my childhood home in Glen Ridge, NJ in 2017

18. I believe the world is filled with loving people, primarily wanting to have a positive place in the world. I recently saw this unfold when a totally diverse group of strangers and friends rallied around a young refugee woman from Cameroon I befriended while she was in detention at an ICE facility here in Bakersfield. These people didn’t ask about political parties, religion, socioeconomics, anything. They heard there was a need they could fill and they did, immediately and in the moment. This was one of the most humbling, incredible experiences of my life. I’m sure it will come up during the Bridge.

19. I have four brothers and one sister. I have had one brother die. I basically don’t speak to two of my siblings and sometimes I wonder how they will feel when I die. I think I have grieved the loss of our connection for a long time, so I have no idea how I will grieve. My brother I am in closest touch with texted me tonight and confirmed we will all have Christmas together, something Mom had mentioned but I was afraid to follow up on. This means – during the Bridge, I will have a closer answer.

20. I realize I have many more than 30 I could share actually, but I will stop here. I separated out the birth stories. I have always been fascinated with birth stories (there is a reason I am the creative life midwife!) and Katherine is named after a midwife – who happened to be one of my close friends who died very young – but I figured not everyone is as enamored. Oh, wait. Make it 21.

One of my favorite photos of my daughters and me, circa 2012 ish.

21. I am a relatively open book and will answer most questions I am asked directly without hesitation. Feel free to ask.

Birth Stories:
22. I have been pregnant 5 times. I have three living children and 2 other daughters-of-the-heart who refer to me as Mom or My Mom.
23. When I gave birth to Samuel, I was speechless when I saw I had managed the impossible – giving birth to a boy. (If you are willing to have some TMI, I also had an orgasm when I had Samuel. How strange is that! I will never tell him that though… just too weird.)
24. When I gave birth to Emma, my first loving words to her were, “She has a cone head.”
25. When I gave birth to Katherine, it took me a while to look at her. I was scared. After all, the first thing I said after Marlena was born was, “Our baby is dead.” I think I’ll edit that out. In the end, I chose not to. Edit it out.

Julie JordanScott is The Creative Life Midwife and one of the Founders of Bridge to the New Year. Join us now in 2020 in #Refresh2020 to reflect, connect, intend and taking passionate action to create a truly remarkable rest of 2020. Click the graphic below to find out more and register to receive emails.

Join the conversation in our closed Bridge to the New Year Facebook Group

Do You Have a Secret Goal?

October 27, 2018 by jjscreativelifemidwife

I do. Well, the goal itself is secret – the fact I have a secret goal is obviously not so secret now.

Loud and clear now: “My name is Julie and yes, I have a secret goal.”

I’m not going to share what it is quite yet, I am sticking with it personally on my own in quiet until I get comfortable sharing about it and when I do, I am going to show it rather than tell it.

This post is my way of showing its beginnings that today moved from thought into action and goodness, that action feels remarkable.

My birthday is three months from Monday and my goal is to aim toward this goal daily until then and on that day, my birthday, I will elect how to focus for the quarter after that and throughout the year, I will continue to move and assess every quarter.

Why a secret (yet not entirely since I am sharing about it here) goal rather than just blurting it all out in its whispered audacious self-consciousness?

Secret because the little girl in me is scared of disappointing my adult self, she knows my adult self has had too many moments of sadness this year and to make a wild pronouncement… and then if something disrupted it… she is well aware I have come close to my personal limits of being ok with the muck of life this year and she is protecting me – herself – by standing here, holding my hand, in self-protection and love.

When we work on this secret-not-so-secret goal, we smile and laugh and jump up and down… yes. This final quarter my friends… it will be such a blast to share with you.

The people who named me “Creative Life Midwife” found words and paint and laughter and flexed their courage muscles on the way to a deeper satisfaction in their daily lives via new blogs, books, webinars and friendships – just to name a few. Contact me now for your complimentary Transformational coaching conversation. Click here to complete the request form now.

Julie Jordan Scott (the one who wrote this blog post) says: This is what I crave for you: soulful creativity, aliveness in your passionate productivity, and a deeper sense of knowing how you belong in the world so that together we will be able to create a context for the rest of your life via your next book or your next workshop or simply your next day, week, month or year.

How to Use “The Monster” Storytelling Archetype to Market Your Product or Service

October 20, 2018 by jjscreativelifemidwife

“The Monster” archetype is summarized as those times when “bad” or uncontrollable energy or happenstance appears which you (or in marketing, your client or customer or character in your ad campaign) eventually rise above, victoriously.

This is an archetype easily used by healing artists, storytellers – anyone who provides a product or service that makes someone feel better about some experience or circumstance.

In these cases I consider my cancer journey, my client’s experience of grief, perhaps the movie “Jaws” or I think about Julie Andrews losing her ability to sing.

I wrote for two consecutive 5 minute brain dumps today writing to the prompt of “monsters” which became “These are the topics I have never wanted to talk about.”

What you see next is simply stream of consciousness. No editing or foresight. In using this approach, I was able to tune into my own process AND glean insights my clients/customers/students may relate to as well.

Follow along with me now as I wrote to this prompt:

It hurts too much to open the door, which is why we keep the door shut and refuse to open it.

It is why the word “cancer” is whispered and we turn our heads from the mirror when we see our scars or an obstruction that blocks us from seeing what we would rather see. Even with that, we can’t stop watching the tragedy – the airplanes flying into the twin towers – is on replay in our mind’s eye, the most horrific images from wartime (I am seeing a few in my mind as I write) the heart stopping stories I look forward to watching each week on Law and Order, SVU.

Yesterday I spoke on the phone to a personification of “The Monsters” in my life. A person whose presence in my life initiated an episode of abandonment in my life I rarely address.

It was interesting because for the first time since that episode, I wasn’t overly troubled by the conversation. I still haven’t come to a conclusion about where I will take the conversation or what I will do with it, but it seems that particular chapter has lost some of its power as distance and time often does.

(It actually stirs me to think of lines of poetry in my head, oddly or not.)
The monster archetype and rising above it is a story of healing, a story of proclaiming victory – a definitive overcoming of the monster, not the surprise “this isn’t really over” almost to the ending scenario but the true ending.

I might have proclaimed victory from melanoma, but the scar on my face troubled me a lot in the year afterwards so much so, I had a second surgery to make it not so pronounced.

My face still hurts in very cool temperatures and I notice that as I age, it takes on different nuances.

I suppose overcoming that monster is more like making peace with its presence on my face. I actually think my scar is cool much of the time.
People look at it in a sort of awe when they notice it is shaped like a heart. Other times they make up stories that I was attacked by a knife wielding… lover of love to leave a heart shape? I don’t know what they think when they think that but when I say it came thanks to melanoma people look relieved that I wasn’t attacked by a fellow human, instead I was attacked by a disease.

I stop typing momentarily. I think about the real monsters in my life, the ones that stay in the closet and remain untalkaboutable: the fear of being abandoned and alone. (My stress cough showed up as I typed that.)
The fear of my children having unsurmountable problems.
The fear of being disliked by people I treasure the most.

Some of these fears have already been realized and I have survived.

I am literally laughing and coughing, coughing and laughing because as I continue writing and continue to “speak my truth” through writing it on the page in spite of the coughing that attempts to choke me into silence, I am beating the monster one slug at a time.

#End Writing –

And to layer this over my Core Message: Express Yourself Freely, On Purpose to Leave the World Better than How You Found It….

The fact I wrote and laughed as I coughed and my stress cough has been a huge barrier for expression… I believe I am onto a victory of one of my biggest battles.

THAT FEELS PRICELESS!

Stand by to see how this is morphed into a marketing message and marketing story, to be used and told repeatedly.

Intentional Collaboration: Past, Present & Future You

September 8, 2018 by jjscreativelifemidwife

Today in my review of notebooks, I found this statement; “Affirm and act in one fluid motion.”

It rang out for attention when the 2014 version of me sang out with utter confidence, “Affirm and act in one fluid motion.”

There was a paragraph after that which tried too hard and wasn’t true-in-that-moment – which is one of the challenges with successful affirmations.

I replaced those words with these and plan to revisit this writing for the next seven days as I continue to collaborate with “me of the past” with “me of the now” to create an even more empowered “Julie of the Future and Infinitely Ever After.”

In the past, I wasted time concerning myself with trivialities. In the past I made the mistake of consenting to believe it was ok to feel inferior or in less than the grand and glorious creation I was and now, I am aware. Now, I am clear instead that I am gutsy and glorious.

I am entertaining and engaging. People who matter to me like me.

Today and all of the tomorrows to come I will remember this and am remembering this:

Any people who matter, truly like me for who I am, with my frailties and past moments of missing the mark – they choose then to love this authentic and gutsy and glorious me.

Today I am affirm this and am this. So I am simply being it.

Coming soon:

Downloadable Affirmation Work-Play-Create-Be Coloring Page

https://creativelifemidwife.com/septpassionatewritingcircle/

September: Revisiting the Notebook

September 3, 2018 by jjscreativelifemidwife

“The best thing to do when fear strikes is to stand with it, learn from it, then act from what you learn.” Now, let’s keep learning, together.
Julie JordanScott in her journal: September 1, 2015

Rewriting one's narrative is essential when we journal for healing. Creative Life Coach Julie JordanScott will write daily during January from earlier journal entries to continue the discovery process here, in this blog.

What I’ve learned from fear since that day three years ago is so rich and deep and varied and so much a continual process and practice, I recognize the value of sticking with this question and different aspects of it throughout this first week of the month of September, 2018. Longer if necessary.

We will assess and then choose different subjects to write about over these next thirty days of writing for five minutes a day, day in and day out. Now. for the nitty gritty.

Ironically, my theme in September is Intentional Abundance, like it was in September, 2000. I remember because this is right when I found out I was pregnant with Samuel and actually now that I peer over my left shoulder at the memory of who I was in August 2000 was a supremely brave person inside and out.

My actions were aligned with the bravado – and the bravery wasn’t exactly courageous it was – I see it now, a work-in-progress and part of that “act-as-if philosophy” more than anything else.

Three years ago I had dropped Emma off at the University she attended. I had woken up on Katherine’s dorm room floor at Princeton Theological Seminary, I had met my now son-in-law Donald and shared our first meal together. I had, before this day or maybe on this day, driven with a friend from Las Vegas to Bakersfield.

She and I are no longer friends and that took courage. Perhaps that was a turning point into true courage, to do what hurts and is horribly uncomfortable because it is the aligned action to take.

When I stand with fear and learn from it, I am in alignment with my life purpose. I know with grace and soul connection, no matter what happens, it will happen and I will respond.

I gave up saying trite phrases like “everything will be ok, don’t worry about it,” because that sounds so fake yet when one of my parent-club friends gave me the advice this week that said, “Chin up…” and keep moving, basically – that felt aligned to me.

What in the past might have brought a bristling response from me this week what I heard and translated from “Chin up” was, “You are tuned in. Instead of concerning myself with what feels sad or not-exactly-right.. well, those may be the facts just like the fact is – I aim to continue to walk, march, hobble sometimes and hopefully with a straighter spine and a more spritely step in the days to come – toward the end result I have hoped and prayed and gazed toward for far too long without making forward progress

It is not unlike my favored saying. Show up. Look up. Translate.

I have learned people do the best they can in the moment they are in. That includes me. I have learned forgiveness doesn’t mean stepping back into relationships though sometimes it can. I have learned what might look like the best circumstances aren’t and what looks pretty icky and wobbly may be the surprisingly perfect fit.

My timer didn’t sound, though my five minutes are more than up.

Please follow along in September as I revisit past journals and notebooks and continue my quest to rewrite one’s life narrative to lead a more compelling, creative and complete life filled with purpose, passion and play. (So sorry for the alliteration foul: sometimes with brain dumping or free flow writing, that sort of shows up. These posts will be largely unedited, first draft versions which I hope will help each and all of us recognize the power is in the “showing up” not the worry about whether or not something is absolutely “correct” or “incorrect” (whatever that means.)

Island Life: When It Feels As If We Are Standing Alone

July 5, 2018 by jjscreativelifemidwife

I wrote these words #5for5BrainDump style. In other words, stream of consciousness, journal style without editing or forethought, trusting the words will continue to pour forth as we move our pencils or pens or fingers on the keyboard for just five minutes.

I had done another writing and felt the call to go more deeply into this particular subject. As I continue to work on the narrative of my life – and choosing a more constructive, heart-based and conscious narrative, I need to continually challenge myself to go more deeply every time I move my pen across the page.

Thank you for taking this adventure alongside me as you read. Starting with a quote – perhaps you will relate to it as well.

“I never said I wanted a ‘happy’ life but an interesting one. From separation and loss, I have learned a lot. I have become strong and resilient, as is the case of almost every human being exposed to life and to the world. We don’t even know how strong we are until we are forced to bring that hidden strength forward.”

Isabel Allende

I can’t remember when I started to describe my life as “island life” – where I lived alone on a deserted island separate from anyone who might remotely care about what I am up to by miles and miles of ocean water – inaccessible like Tom Hanks in “Castaway.”

I didn’t even have a WILSON in this version of my life. My children were in an alternate reality where I visited during the hours they needed me, otherwise, I sat along on my concrete, brick and mortar not very pretty island… solitary confinement.

The thing is, when I look at it objectively and with a loving heart, I see I am the one who created that island as a protective mechanism. I am the one who goes back there from time to time to seek solace from and with myself because “no one else really wants to” – or so I perceive.

When I stay in this space, I don’t feel sad and I don’t feel sorry for myself, because I almost always have a project to work on and am able to create my own excitement.

It does, however, get lonely.

I am grateful I am taking time to reflect on this today. It is easy to pretend it away, to turn off my constructive thought process. I am grateful I have a constructive process, not a “woe is I” process. I am grateful I took the time today. I am grateful Samuel and I did something fun yesterday and I took time to read a book yesterday. I am grateful I have friends who will join me when I invite them to do things.

I am grateful I am considering ways to take action to get off the island more regularly.

We always end our five minute writings from #5for5BrainDump with gratitude. This video excerpt below will explains that process – please remember I am available to speak with you individually as well as facilitate groups, speak to groups of all sizes and appear in interviews as well.

False Fear of Abandonment & Truth: Love is Everywhere + Video & Writing Prompt

June 10, 2018 by jjscreativelifemidwife

You know those beliefs that are stuck so deep you don’t speak them ever for fear of… well, for me I suppose it is fear of amplifying that belief no matter how false I pray it is.

“If I don’t say it aloud then it can’t be true, right?”

Wrong. The reality is, if I don’t say it aloud it gains more and more power over me.

This morning I took on one of my primary, most primal fears that perhaps you share with me. After all, the majority of us have this fear hardwired into us. I replaced that belief with the simple affirmation. Love is everywhere. Love is everywhere. Love is everywhere.

Using the 5 minutes of magic that is #5for5BrainDump…. well, read further to see what came next.

The premise and not so happy prompt:

People will reject me: I don’t want to/I can’t survive being abandoned

I am so uncomfortable approaching this topic, I am going to use the phrase above repeatedly in my writing so if I veer off course with it (avoidance) I will plug it back in.

Here’s the thing: it isn’t true but for the majority of my life I have been acting as if is true and I have had enough of it. I know that you and I both have a purpose and a mission to fulfill and mine is anything BUT being afraid of being abandoned because I have learned… I won’t be… because over the years people I thought I could trust HAVE abandoned me yet I was never alone.

My mind is flashing back to a Davy and Goliath episode from long past, perhaps my favorite one because Davy was on a train and it was like the train was speaking to him, “God is everywhere, God is everywhere” and if the God word bothers you, plug in whatever you believe in instead.. perhaps “Love is everywhere, love is everywhere, love is everywhere” and in fact, beloveds, I might scoop up that mantra and carry it with me from now on.

Because I know above all, People will not reject me. I thrive when I recognize I am living according to the purpose I was born to fulfill. How invigorating this is for me and for you, too, because I believe we all have a purpose, a mission, a reason….

Perhaps part of mine is to tell you that talking about whatever it is you think is too scary to speak will take you along a path of extraordinary freedom.

Who thought when I started with “People will reject me: I don’t want to/I can’t survive being abandoned” that I would end with freedom?

My norm is to scoot off course when I write something that scares me but today was different. Maybe it is because I was holding my purpose in my heart and I was holding YOU in my words as they flowed from me.

The timer went off when I put the question mark on freedom. Affirmative, right? Yes. Because Love is Everywhere. I may open my heart and trust divine timing.

That feels so good. That feels so good….

Now, onto a prompt and a “What’s Next Mission”for you to consider, and write, and contemplate, and art journal or have a transformational conversation:

Tell about a time when you didn’t speak (or write, or journal or even think) about a particular sore subject. Remember what I’ve said here – and take a step toward giving freedom to that untalkaboutable so that you may shine in your unique, distinctive purpose.

Start with a sentence, just a sentence, and see if you are able to write for five minutes.

I’m available if you need me. Call or text me at 661.444.2735. If I don’t answer, leave a message and I will call you back.

The world is waiting for your words. Let’s get them on the page, together.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world. She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Reaching for the Just Right Word: What We Don’t Say… The Untalkaboutables… Keep Us Stuck

May 28, 2018 by jjscreativelifemidwife

This post was written in two successive #5for5BrainDump sessions with several editing sessions. It started stream-of-consciousness and came back with – how to state this clearly.

For now, two hours, dishes done, conversations with Emma in process, a little mopping of the kitchen floor and moisturizing my face – it is done. For now. >> See Julie smile a slight smile of acceptance.<<

Now for the Rewriting of the Narrative:

If I had my way I would climb into a bubble with a caretaker and a loving team of comrades to support me by doing what I am not gifted at doing or simply don’t like to do.

I look up and see a cobweb in front of me and I think, “I need to sweep away that cobweb when I’m done writing.”

Here’s the thing: normally I wouldn’t confess to seeing a cobweb for fear it might make me look bad and that one small choice to not be authentic and not tell the truth and not be real starts building a leaning tower that slowly and surely degrades so much of what is true and right and crackly and painful and hilarious and embarrassing and endearing and very possibly even loveable.

That saying nothing, that holding back what we have deemed “Untalkaboutable” puts us in a stranglehold.

I remember a session I had with not my most recent therapist but the one before her. I was concerned about my self-destructive behavior so we talked for 45 minutes before I showed her my arm. My forearm, wracked with deep scratches and bruises I had levied upon myself in deep frustration days before. Scratches I kept hidden because I didn’t want anyone to see the evidence left behind from not talking about what was at the root of my upset, the core of my being.

I take a breath as I continue to write, as I attempt to continue to write.

I fold my hands first in the traditional protestant prayer and then in a more eastern “Namaste” expression… praying for the boldness to keep “talking” on the page, to please continue this pattern of progress simply because my old way of being would be to skate along the surface and only occasionally go deep enough to be restorative.

“Change the language” a sort of command or request bubbles up from deep within:

I am grateful for my relationship with prayer, that I know I may always turn to prayer for comfort and guided action. Prayer says, “I am not alone, even if there are no humans around I feel safe enough to speak my depths to, there is always divinity and there is always the page.”

I am indicating that here. I am taking back my sovereign crown from here by writing these words here, dropping them one letter at a time, allowing the thoughts and meaning and letting go to bring what wants to be said into the open, into the light, and then shared with others so that they may be recognized and be willing to be stand up, to speak, to be heard.

Sometimes the page is a prayer. The page is bigger than a human and on the road to divinity.

The timer went off without me knowing, as sometimes happens lately I believe a divine thing and a call to go deeper with my writing.

Leave the keyboard and move to replace need, want, must, have to, should into excited, grateful, pleased, anticipation

Note to self and you: this is normally when I abandon my writing, when I stop going any deeper with my words because it looks and feels scary and I don’t want to face whatever might come next. In so doing, I have missed a lot of light, a lot of hope, a lot of joy and who knows what else.

Back at the keyboard, I take a few moments to write:

I found these words, replacements to the “lack” words I listed above….

Instead of “I want, I need, I am missing” in the future remember to use, “I am inspired by the possibility of,” and “I am exhilarated to think…” and “I am stirred up with anticipation of….” along with the base words of motivated, roused, excited, activated,.enchanted…

Instead of “worried” or “afraid” or the like, “I am appreciative of the opportunity to” and “I am thankful for this moment because…” and “I am content with purely…. (being here now, feeling this moment completely, having what I have…” along with my favored “I am looking forward to” and “I am most satisfied by…”

I realize as I wrote any and all of these may be writing prompts, too, to gain more clarity.

I look up from the list and see where I have swept away the cobwebs when I was in between moments of writing. Small bites, baby steps, sweet moments of satisfaction I may point to as evidence and not be ashamed.

I hear my neighbor’s dog bark. I think how many years have gone by without sharing niceties, such a simple thing. I look forward to a time when I feel more mutual compassion with neighbords. I remember when… one of my cats got stuck under their house when they were getting work done on it.

The wife was known for complaining about how much she hates cats.

I remember feeling panic about my cat, Tina, being trapped and how we could possibly get her out. Samuel came with me and we brought a can of tuna to coax her. I was worried about getting any dust specks on their hard wood floor. I was afraid when Samuel came out from under the house he would leave traces of dust or worse, dirt, and they would be made at me (as if that was anything unusual.)

We could hear Tina meow from under the house. Samuel crawled into the space under their house. She wouldn’t come, she was scared, too.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we collectively stopped being afraid?

I keep hearing my neighbor’s voice, he must have sensed my worry and fear and he said to me repeatedly, “Julie, no harm no foul,” after Samuel successfully encourage the kitty to come to the surface and allow herself to be rescued.

I remember fighting tears then like I am fighting them now.

I hear my neighbor’s voice now, talking about the dog.

Emma seems worried because I am crying.

It sounds like the word prayer is said. I don’t know if it was or it wasn’t though perhaps I’ll claim it.

Old Narrative: People who don’t like me are always ready to find me in the wrong and make me feel more shame than I already do, naturally.

New Narrative: People are people, each with weaknesses and strengths and mostly self-absorbed.

New Narrative Question: What untalkaboutable subjects are calling me to pay attention? What small step may I take to wash away the fear as well as bring the untalkaboutable into the light?

From the italicized: Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we collectively stopped being afraid? our prompt: “What may I choose to do daily (or near daily) to lessen my day-to-day fear or anxiety?”

Devote 5 minutes daily to take action on any new insights you have from this experience.

Are you interested in reading more about Rewriting Narrative: Below is a list of three recent posts to visit and read;

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Fuzzy Morning Brain Does Not Have to Lead to a Bad Day

May 26, 2018 by jjscreativelifemidwife

Today I woke up fuzzy. My old narrative would have fussed and scrolled around facebook and felt negative about not getting enough done. This morning, instead, I decided to start fairly early with a 5 minute brain dump session.

I decided a quote would be good inspiration and when I first looked for a quote about clarity and found lots of clichés and quotes that sounded more like drill-sergeant-speak I did a different search term (which I’ve forgotten) and found this:

“Can anything be sadder than work left unfinished? Yes; work never begun.” — Christina Rossetti

I woke up this morning hours before I finally lifted myself out of bed. I don’t know when exactly it was and I don’t think I slept very deeply or sweetly in the interim, I just know eventually the sky got brighter and Samuel started moving about and I knew I needed to rise and shine and do something.

After the bare essentials were complete and I returned home, I still felt that struggly feeling of “What do I do?” (When this particular narrative line is repeated in fast succession and at all based in fear… anxiety rises).

I knew there was a list somewhere (Life Guideline#1 I attempt to live by is to write a possibility list before I go to sleep. I hadn’t on that day. ).

Even as I drove Samuel to school I attempted to prioritize in my mind and again and I got nowhere.

So now, I write, and I think, and I throw words down in attempt to clear my mind and allow myself the space to move forward.

This week has been about getting things done: curating and completion. I have curated and I haven’t done much completion. There is a part of me that feels like a failure and I know where I might have made different choices and gotten more completed.

I can’t change those choices I made before, but I can change what happens next.

My eyes scan back up to the quote I started with as inspiration:

Christina Rossetti said, “Can anything be sadder than work left unfinished? Yes; work never begun.”

The timer goes off so I will use the next three or so minutes to make my list. The first thing I will do is create an attractive, artful “Possibility list” to continue the kick start.

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session or to request she speak at your next event, call or text her at 661.444.2735

Transforming Panic to Love-Based Focused Action: 5 Minutes of Writing Magic

May 24, 2018 by jjscreativelifemidwife

Welcome! We’re taking an adventure in Personal Growth and Transformation Made Simple.

This is where the miracle creating #5for5BrainDump Process meets the inner working of discovering one’s unconscious beliefs otherwise known as “Rewriting One’s Inner Narrative: 5 Minutes at a Time” . Today I felt myself going down the well-worn path of panic mode, so I quickly recovered and shifted onto a different path via writing – and breathing – and what you see next is us taking that path, together so… let’s do this…

It is so easy to go into panic mode, to worried mode to “oh no I have so much to do what am I going to do oh no oh no oh no!”

Cue the Chicken-little scene, “The sky is falling, the sky is falling,” and then – if we are lucky – a hint of mindfulness seeps in.

I was having tea with my dear friend Kathi this morning and we were talking about that panic mode we sometimes unconsciously fall into and she reminded me how good I am at stopping, taking a breath, and refocusing and/or reframing and coming back to center.

It was one of those moments where I almost wanted to look over my shoulder to see who she was talking about but no, she meant me, loud and clear – me.

Ironic, then, a couple hours later when I was settling back into work mode I got nervous again about what to do next. I have a huge list and I have tasks galore and I was reviewing the content next to go up on the curation block and I got lost in the murky swamp of “What’s next?” even now – I am more than slightly worried thinking about the next thing after this thing so I stop myself.

I close my eyes.

Hand on heart.

What is the best next thing to do?

What task will get me closer to my goal most efficiently and effectively?

Hand on heart… breathe in….. exhale anxiety and blend with love… breathe in…. “What task will get me closer to my goal?”

As I rid myself of the uncomfortable anxiety and allow the light of love to take the reigns, the next step becomes more clear and I know –

The best next thing to do.

A smile crosses my face.

The timer goes off and I know.

I’ve effectively, for now, replaced the nearing panic mode with feeling peace mode.

I’ve rewritten the “Chicken-little-sky-is-falling” rule with “Focus on what’s best next, with love” and it feels so much better.
There is more to come on this one. Stand by for more….

This post was written #5for5BrainDump style: write for 5 minutes, free flow, stream of consciousness style and see what wisdom comes as a result. This one is definitely a keeper – one I will continue to grow upon. Thank you for reading today! Please follow me on social media so you won’t miss anymore high quality content that will help as you work toward a better and better life now.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via #5for5BrainDump, livestream broadcasts, creativity playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world. She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

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