Creative Life Midwife

Inspiring Artistic Rebirth

Staying Positively Numb in the Intensive Care Unit

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Staying Positively Numb in the Intensive Care Unit. Pictured is the curtain to my space in the Intensive care unit where I was being treated for Sepsis and Valley Fever

I found my documentation of my first full day in the intensive care unit to be fascinating.

I believe – in writing and noticing from a distance – how numb I was and while grateful to share my experience, I was only comfortable at this point in the most surface share as possible.

I wrote:

“These are the curtains for my current… zone of experience.” I was unwilling to say I was in the Intensive Care Unit. I remember in the past when well meaning positive thinking people encouraged one another not to speak about reality if it wasn’t good. 

I went on to discuss photo taking without saying I was referring to photo taking: “It was intriguing me to see what happens when you turn the light on and turn the light off.”

I refer back to my history and relate to my parents, who I hadn’t even told I was sick with pneumonia and didn’t tell them I was admitted to the hospital nor that I was admitted to the ICU. I wrote further “I’ve also found sometimes the lens clarifies things such as old grave markers your eyes can’t see details the lenses had. (Thanks, parents, for taking us on countless adventures in Northern Arizona cemeteries with nearly invisible headstones that we could magically see when we looked through our camera lens.)

I also loved sneaking some art appreciation into this experience.

After the introduction, I lean closer into reality:

Last night was rough. Very little sleep and then sleep interrupted. Really, a chest X-ray at 2 AM after my first 45 minutes of good sleep? 

I won’t complain about all the horrid things that happened, because eventually I moved from jotting notes in a tiny notebook to jotting notes on my phone. Which leads to Gratitude #1

1. I have always excelled at advocacy for others and put myself into the “when there is enough time and resources” pile. My documentation – some bleary and messy – was so on purpose and so (in a weird way fun) and it subtracted the painful emotions I was feeling.

2. I am starting to feel like writing again, something that hasn’t happened since October 2 or so. I am wanting to create again – I even won a giveaway of Gelli plates from Gelli Arts – Gel Printing Plate and have yet to open or use because I was getting sick when I received them! So excited to create with them!

3. I also created a positive, collaborative partnership with my nurse last night. By this morning it felt like we were caring friends.

4. To the friends who managed to visit yesterday, thank you! To those who send love and follow along! Thank you! I’ll be more effusive in the future!

5. Bonus: the list making in #1 is what leads to suggestions for change which usually leads to research. I think I have discovered (and was confirmed during shift change) what actually happened medically on Thursday though no one specifically said the words to me. Will continue with deep thought-see diving which is something I love!

The bonus note sounds like the usual me. I was still there, underneath the fear, the struggle, the wishing I was anywhere except the hospital bed I was connected to by wires and cords and alarms.

Interesting also to note: we are on Day 12 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge and I have posted every. Single. Day.

This level of consistency on my blog is unusual for my recent history. 

I am grateful to be writing and I am grateful for those of you reading and commenting.

Please tell me how your blogging (and life) is going in the comments.

🌟 Creative Life Coach & Muse Cultivator

 🎨 | Award-Winning Writer/Actor/Storyteller

🌱 | Empowering Your Second Act

🎉| New Courses/Programs Coming soon!

🎁   Your presence here makes me feel grateful. 

✍🏻I am a writer first, writing & creativity coach, multi passionate creative next. Writing has always been my anchor art and to her I always return. Thankfully, with great love.

🎯 My aim is to create content here that inspires and instructs – if there is ever a topic you would like for me to explore, please reach out and tell me. My ultimate goal is to create posts, videos and more that speak to your desires as well as mine because where these two intersect, our collaborative, joyful energy ignites into a fire of love, light and passionate creativity.

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Cozy Socks & Unsticking Pain from Places We Love

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Some mornings it feels absolutely glorious to pull on a pair of fluffy, cozy socks, like I did this morning.

Some evenings it feels right to briefly visit a favorite trail at dusk, just for a few moments to reconnect with the sky, the grasses, the plants you may have missed since you haven’t been here for more than a season.

That was yesterday. 

I stood on the liberty loop trail to watch, to listen. I passed a couple of deer slowly meandering across the street – I imagine they are from the herd I sometimes see in the distance when I am on that trail. 

I was practicing with my video settings when I heard a lone goose in the distance. 

Have you ever heard the call of a lone goose?

I heard it once before, when I was walking on the bicycle path along the Truxtun Extension in Bakersfield. I was in my favorite section, a place I didn’t know aloneness even though most of my visits there were by myself, I always felt deeply connected.

Last night was different. It was as if the little lone goose was there to comfort me, to help me feel connected again, to wipe away some of the pain I had connected with this trail.

Historically, when I connect pain to a place, it is difficult to unstick.

The synchronicity of this goose, appearing exactly when my heart was open enough to hear, was ideal. It felt so good to cry out the lingering sorrow that had been unspent, stuck inside a wall of will, an anti-desire to express it.

Reminds me of one of the reasons it is important to me to get outside and to revisit the spaces I love that may have become associated with sadness. Flagstaff just whispered in my ear.

Maybe 2025. Maybe then.

The tears remind me it is important to get out there again. Unstick the associated pain. Hug some trees. See some friendly faces. 

Hug the lone goose that flies inside me at times, wondering where everyone went and why did they leave me behind?

My feet inside the warm, cozy socks remind me, too, of comfort in softness and deep love of one-self, even when we feel like the baby goose. 

Today is also the fifth anniversary of when sepsis swept through me and I entered the ICU. 

Soft socks. Touch velvet. Tender breaths.

 🌟 Creative Life Coach & Muse Cultivator

 🎨 | Award-Winning Writer/Actor/Storyteller

🌱 | Empowering Your Second Act

🎉| New Courses/Programs Coming soon!

🎁   Your presence here makes me feel grateful. 

✍🏻I am a writer first, writing & creativity coach, multi passionate creative next. Writing has always been my anchor art and to her I always return. Thankfully, with great love.

🎯 My aim is to create content here that inspires and instructs – if there is ever a topic you would like for me to explore, please reach out and tell me. My ultimate goal is to create posts, videos and more that speak to your desires as well as mine because where these two intersect, our collaborative, joyful energy ignites into a fire of love, light and passionate creativity.

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I Knew It Was Arriving Soon: Now, the Day is Here… and we start and continue beginning

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I have been waiting for my facebook memories to cue me, to invite me into the memory – to recognize – to be alert that five years ago my hospital stay began. 

It was the day of my first gratitude list from the hospital where I filled people in on what was going on with me:

The pneumonia wasn’t getting better, so I’m now tucked away in a downtown Bakersfield hospital. I’ve slept for 12 of the last 15 hours after an 18 hour wait on a gurney in the hallway of the ER.

I’m grateful:

1. For patient phlebotomists who are willing to take their time chasing down my shy veins.

2. For Michelle and Julia who have visited and brought Emma with them. This is stressful for her, too. Last night she was very helpful.

3. For technology that brings my favorite relaxation music into the hospital with me.

4. For Miracle Mark Tarango who lit up the ER with his presence yesterday.

If you are in Bakersfield and would like to visit, please text or pm me to find out where I am. I may not be super interactive, and it would be great to see you. Prayers from everywhere are welcome.

The 2024 me is finding the conscious collection and curation of these memories to be fascinating. The self-compassion is infinite now, the me-who-was-in-the-experience was trying hard… and was more than slightly miserable.. was definitely doing her best and taking things one moment at a time.

Today I am going to be putting finishing touches on The Muse Method Project and in my breaks from that, I am going to do some meditative time travel back into my 2019 self in this experience.

I am brave enough. I am ready to step into the full depths of this healing, just as I am ready to complete The Muse Method.

Thank you so much for reading. Your presence means a lot to me.

Julie Jordan Scott hugs an unusual tree
Julie Jordan Scott hugs all kinds of trees

🌟 Creative Life Coach & Muse Cultivator

 🎨 | Award-Winning Writer/Actor/Storyteller

🌱 | Empowering Your Second Act

🎉| New Courses/Programs Coming soon!

🎁   Your presence here makes me feel grateful. 

✍🏻I am a writer first, writing & creativity coach, multi passionate creative next. Writing has always been my anchor art and to her I always return. Thankfully, with great love.

🎯 My aim is to create content here that inspires and instructs – if there is ever a topic you would like for me to explore, please reach out and tell me. My ultimate goal is to create posts, videos and more that speak to your desires as well as mine because where these two intersect, our collaborative, joyful energy ignites into a fire of love, light and passionate creativity.

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Learning from Prompted Free Flow Story Telling on Video Seven Years Later

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Examining a flourising cottonfield and a forgotten cottonfield as we heal in 31 Days of Beginning Again Day 8

It sat on the edge of memory: an abandoned cotton field which I found incredibly beautiful. An Uber passenger who gave me a $100 dollar tip which allowed me to go to the Kern Shakespeare Festival. A therapist I wanted to click with badly and didn’t. Finally, returning to talk to a camera and anyone who later watched some stories I was unlikely to tell.

First: Wasted and Unharvested

I’m standing in a sea of cotton, here in Kern County, agriculture country. The cotton around me won’t be used for anything, which feels like such a waste. It reminds me of how often we don’t use our own gifts and talents, letting them sit idle, full of potential but untouched, unrealized. There’s something deeply personal in that for me.

I’ve never talked much about my daughter, who was stillborn. And standing here, I can’t help but think of the dreams I had for her—the dreams that never grew into anything. They stayed unfulfilled, just like this cotton, never reaching their potential.

It’s strange, isn’t it, how life mirrors the things around us?

A Gumball and Unspoken Pain

There’s something else I don’t talk about much, but it’s been on my mind lately. When I was a little girl, I almost died choking on a gumball. I still remember the panic, the way my mother tried to save me, right outside a grocery store. I haven’t thought about that in years—until recently.

Two weeks ago, in a therapy session, my therapist asked, “What’s the most pain you’ve felt in the last ten years?” And just like that, I felt my throat close up. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak. It was as if the question lodged itself in my throat, like that gumball all those years ago.

It took me two weeks to remember that story, but now it’s all coming back. Sometimes, the past sits there, waiting, until you’re ready to untangle it. And here I am, still processing, still discovering, still learning to breathe again.

The sun is setting now—time’s up.

I had no idea two years later I would almost die and five years after that, I finally felt strong enough to step into the memories completely, to process, to explore and to ultimately get to a new level of healing.

I’m curious: what speaks to you the most from this blog post and video?

Julie Jordan Scott, writer, creativity coach, award winning actor walking in the woods
Julie Jordan Scott, walking in the woods

🌟 Creative Life Coach & Muse Cultivator

 🎨 | Award-Winning Writer/Actor/Storyteller

🌱 | Empowering Your Second Act

🎉| New Courses/Programs Coming soon!

🎁   Your presence here makes me feel grateful. 

✍🏻I am a writer first, writing & creativity coach, multi passionate creative next. Writing has always been my anchor art and to her I always return. Thankfully, with great love.

🎯 My aim is to create content here that inspires and instructs – if there is ever a topic you would like for me to explore, please reach out and tell me. My ultimate goal is to create posts, videos and more that speak to your desires as well as mine because where these two intersect, our collaborative, joyful energy ignites into a fire of love, light and passionate creativity.

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Listening for Meaning: Monday Poetry

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Mining for the stories underneath this pantoum written in August 2010, just before I took my daughter to Smith College to begin her first year there. There was a rumbling of fear in most everything then and this pantoum helped calm me and also helped me find my way for a time. I’m curious to know in the comments what you do to calm yourself when fear is tap dancing around your gut. Please let me know about your solutions and also if any of the lines in this poem particularly resonate with you.

While I have you fear, you are not me.

I am not you. Though if you were I’d slice you

cut you unstitch you and examine you

the scar you left behind, the life birthed

I am not you, though if you were I’d slice you

fear: sticky red gooey tar, sucking my hope

the scar you left behind the life birthed

from the spot after I burned myself free

Fear: sticky red gooey tar, sucking my hope

I take judgment off your glue and look, just look

From the spot after I burned myself free

The core is the same? The core is the same – the same

I take judgment off your glue and look, just look

love: i’ve lost count of the numbered site – it’s you?

The core is the same? The core is the same – the same

White, waiting – wistful fresh-after-rain-morning

love: i’ve lost count of the numbered site – it’s you?

Breath lost at first touch of toe to dewy grass

White, waiting – wistful fresh-after-rain-morning

Knees buckled by laughing tears, “Hello!!”

Breath lost at first touch of toe to dewy grass

cut you unstitch you and examine you

Knees buckled by laughing tears, “Hello!!”

While I have you fear, you are not me.

What interests me most is the talk of a scar from where fear burned me. At first I thought I was writing about the scar on my face, caused by melanoma, but this was written two years before that diagnosis. Once again, it feels like the past me is reaching to the present me to communicate something, I simply am not able to translate it – yet.

Thank you for reading and double thank you for leaving a comment with what resonates most with you about this poem.

Julie JordanScott
Julie Jordan Scott

🌟 Creative Life Coach & Muse Cultivator

 🎨 | Award-Winning Writer/Actor/Storyteller

🌱 | Empowering Your Second Act

🎉| New Courses/Programs Coming soon!

🎁   Your presence here makes me feel grateful. 

✍🏻I am a writer first, writing & creativity coach, multi passionate creative next. Writing has always been my anchor art and to her I always return. Thankfully, with great love.

🎯 My aim is to create content here that inspires and instructs – if there is ever a topic you would like for me to explore, please reach out and tell me. My ultimate goal is to create posts, videos and more that speak to your desires as well as mine because where these two intersect, our collaborative, joyful energy ignites into a fire of love, light and passionate creativity.

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Renewal & Restoration: Begin Again

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It is another October – a time we wave goodbye to the beginning of the academic year and prepare to prepare to prepare for the rush of the end of the year.

My heart – my brain – and work as an artist of life nudged me to do the Ultimate Blog Challenge in a new way. A renewed way, a restorative beginning again way. A means of cultivating and curating my stories from the past five years. 

I will be sharing stories/insights/lessons learned from these last five years that have been so incredibly life changing to who I am as a human.

In October 2019 I had a near death experience and while I survived it, there is still unprocessed gunk, some lingering joy and lots of growth edges I have held very close instead of letting them out into the world.

I am honoring the call to let go, to stop holding on so tightly, and allow these stories and episodes and learnings their due.

The Ultimate Blog Challenge allows me the opportunity to focus on my blog and its readers while I reconnect with blogging friends and meet new ones, too.

I’m so grateful you are here, reading and look VERY forward to deepening our connection.

Woman at her desk, drinking coffee, preparing to blog.
Screenshot

🌟 Creative Life Coach & Muse Cultivator

 🎨 | Award-Winning Writer/Actor/Storyteller

🌱 | Empowering Your Second Act

🎉| New Courses/Programs soon!

🎁   Your presence here makes me feel grateful. 

✍🏻I am a writer first, writing & creativity coach, multi passionate creative next. Writing has always been my anchor art and to her I always return. Thankfully, with great love.

🎯 My aim is to create content here that inspires and instructs – if there is ever a topic you would like for me to explore, please reach out and tell me. My ultimate goal is to create posts, videos and more that speak to your desires as well as mine because where these two intersect, our collaborative, joyful energy ignites into a fire of love, light and passionate creativity.

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“Writing Through the Silence: How I Faced the Dark to Find My Voice Again”

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Several years ago I bribed myself to get my writing done. On that day in 2017 I earned a cup of coffee by writing about what I didn’t want to write about.

Perhaps this is the little-known secret for ending writer’s block: withhold coffee (or chocolate, or sex, or whatever a person likes best) until the first 500 words or 5 minutes are spent writing.

What do you think?

I quickly jotted moments in time from that painful era, but I felt extra fussy about what was coming up.

 They were tangentially about what I didn’t want to write about – they would be, if I allowed them, to be a path back to writing. It was as if I wasn’t really listening.

I thought I could write…

  • About walking down 19th St with Josh last night about the early days before and after Samuel’s diagnosis.
  • About seeing an educrat last night who long ago insisted it was bad mothering causing Samuel’s behaviors (which were so obviously spectrum anyone with any ounce of knowledge should have known.)

Or I could choose to investigate, try, explore

  • Putting myself back in my 2007 shoes – finding the gap of July 31 to October 23 without a blog post. Unheard of in that era. Most eras of my life actually.

I dove into the last option.

I discovered my final blog words on July 31, 2007 were “In order for the moonflower to completely open, it has to bathe in darkness. I am not a big fan of the dark. It scares me. Still. Yet I can not walk by this flower without bowing to it, without putting my face close to its opened-by-the-dark heart.”

I must have had the notion that the darkness was behind me: my brother had died and I was doing ok with that – only light on the horizon, right?

What I didn’t know was August, September and October did nothing but get worst.

Blog Silence for all of August. All of September. All of those early Fall months were filled with darkness.

It’s about time I trust myself enough to I bow to the darkness, putting my face closer to the metaphorical flower that is poisonous and only opens in the dark.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives.

Watch for the announcement of Stop the Stuck: Cultivating the Abundance of Your Inner Muse Group Coaching Program coming soon –

 To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

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How Morning Writing Practice Helps Calm the Nervous System & Lead a More Effective Life

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Many of us yearn for a sense of calm and centeredness, especially those of us who may be grappling with mental health challenges. A simple yet powerful tool that can transform your mornings and your mindset is a daily writing practice. Often referred to as journaling, this practice offers a sanctuary for your thoughts and emotions, providing clarity and peace amidst the chaos.

Is your curiosity piqued? Is any resistance rising up? Please continue to read – and at least consider how starting a morning writing practice – a journaling practice – may help you to create a more joyful daily experience.

Benefit one: Unlocking Creativity

Morning writing allows you to tap into your creative side without the constraints of daily obligations clouding your mind. Here’s a three-step method to cultivate creativity through writing:

  1. Free Write: Start with a free-writing session for 5-10 minutes. Let your thoughts flow without worrying about grammar or structure.
  2. Prompt Exploration: Use creative prompts to spark ideas. Write about a dream, a memory, or a what-if scenario.
  3. Reflect and Expand: Choose one interesting idea from your free write or prompt exploration and spend another 5 minutes expanding on it.

Benefit two: Building Courage

For those facing mental health challenges, courage can sometimes feel elusive. Writing each morning helps build this courage incrementally. Follow these steps to foster bravery through your practice:

  1. Face Your Fears: Write about a fear or challenge you are facing. Acknowledge it on paper.
  2. Affirmation Writing: Create affirmations that counteract those fears. Write them down and repeat them daily.
  3. Action Plan: Write a small, actionable step you can take to confront your fear today. Reflect on your progress regularly.

Benefit three: Achieving Consistent Completion

Consistency can be particularly challenging for individuals with mental health issues. A morning writing routine offers a tangible way to experience the satisfaction of completion. Try this three-step method:

  1. Set a Timer: Commit to writing for just 5 minutes each morning. Gradually increase the time as it becomes a habit.
  2. Daily Log: Keep a simple log of your writing sessions. Note the date, time, and a brief summary of what you wrote about.
  3. Weekly Reflection: At the end of each week, read through your entries. Celebrate your consistency and note any patterns or progress.

Simple method to use: The Power of Experimentation

Understandably, the idea of adding another task to your morning routine might feel overwhelming. However, consider approaching it as an experiment. Follow these steps to ease into the practice:

  1. Start Small: Begin with just 5 minutes of writing. Focus on the process, not the outcome.
  2. Be Flexible: Allow yourself to write about anything—thoughts, feelings, dreams, or even lists. There are no rules.
  3. Review and Adjust: After a week or two, review how you feel about the practice. Adjust the timing, duration, or focus as needed to fit your needs.

Creating a Calmer, Centered Life

Incorporating a morning writing practice into your routine helps create a foundation of calm and centeredness. It provides a safe space to process your thoughts, reducing mental clutter and stress. This ritual may become a grounding force, allowing you to approach each day with greater clarity and intention.

Final Thoughts

If you’re navigating mental health challenges, embracing a morning writing practice might seem like “too much.” Yet, by being open to this experiment, you may discover a powerful tool for fostering creativity, courage, and consistent completion in your life. Start small, stay patient with yourself, and watch how this simple practice transforms your mornings and beyond.

Take the first step today and see how morning writing can become a cherished part of your journey towards a more calm and centered life.

What are you saying YES to in your life today?

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she has recently finished her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

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What don’t you see? What experiences are you missing because you don’t look again?

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It is only the third of July and it feels so much later in the month than that, probably because two days ago my right knee had another flare up and that caused me to face plant emotionally. 

The good news is I learned so much in these last two days that would have been buried in my lack of awareness and busy, busy, unrelenting busy schedule and sometimes superhuman expectations I have for myself. 

Today my knee is sore, my hip is slightly sore, and I had the best sleep I have had in ages.

When I arrived at my desk this morning, I was without an agenda except for “to settle into” my day and here I sit, gloriously grounded even if the last week iteration of me would have been frustrated with the pace, the ever-expansive me is taking that last week me and holding her close saying something like “husssshhhhh, husssshhhhhhh, you have plenty of time to do all the things you feel like you must get done…”

Normally during the last week of the preceding month I set up the documents for the next month with my regular spiritual practices and my creative entrepreneurial plans.

It is July 3 and I didn’t set up one of my favorite, grounding, off-the-charts-effective “Mining for Storytelling Gold” daily writing practice.

I looked across the screen to my focus mate partner and said, “In this session, I am going to settle in…” having no idea what that really meant and I wrote “Good Morning, Love,” (my daily message to my facebook followers) and then realized I wasn’t ready to start “Mining for Story Gold” because I hadn’t taken the time to set the document up yet.

I then took the one step that changed everything: I decided to start the August document now.

I scanned last year’s August photo album and found the perfect photo.

What I had never noticed in that photo was glaringly obvious now.

What do you see in this photo?

What have you missed seeing in your everyday life lately?

Please let me know in the comments – 

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Who Is Julie Jordan Scott & What are her July Goals?

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First: I don’t normally talk about myself in third person, but here I am and here we are – and I am incredibly grateful you cared enough to visit this blog post and hopefully let me know what resonated the most with you in my introduction and in my goals.

We’re going to do a 5 + 5 approach: 5 Unconventional Facts About Me and 5 July Goals

Facts, just the facts about me, ma’am by means of introduction:

  1. I am the fourth of six children. My two younger brothers have died so since December of 2021, I have been the youngest child which has been quite strange (at least for me.)
  2. I enjoy doing consistency projects like writing Writing Haiku for 377 Days or Hugging Trees for 377 days. It has been a while since I have taken on a new big consistency project so this month I have a top secret experiment in a shorter term to see if I still get as much joy from these activities.
  3. My middle name is Ann, which I always thought was exceptionally plain and ordinary. I did think for a long time that one of my heroines, Julie Andrews, was actually Julie Ann Drews, so this made my middle name much less unfortunate.
  4. Rivers, lakes and the ocean are among my natural friends. In July, I will experience all three.
  5. When I was a child I wrote letters as a hobby. Perhaps as a way to encourage my writing, my parents never complained about the cost of stamps, even though I wrote upwards of 10 letters a week or more.

GOALS for July:

  1. By Mid-Month, send my book to the book designer (finally, not finally, right on time.)
  2. Create a sustainable evening/ pre-bed routine.
  3. Successfully on-board my new virtual assistant.
  4. Participate in Summer Reading Challenge
  5. Maintain a learning goal around writing fiction (I usually write creative non-fiction and poetry but participated in NaNoWriMo again this year and enjoyed it very much)

Who are you and what are your goals for July? What do you resonate with from my two lists?

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