Creative Life Midwife

Inspiring Artistic Rebirth

Seeking Simplicity: Transforming To-Do’s into Delightful Discoveries

by

Sundays are a special time for me on twitter because of the weekly #SpiritChat hosted by Kumud Ajmani. Lately I have not been able to participate there so instead I am choosing to interact on my own throughout the week.

What popped up during my writing time this morning may be helpful for you, too, so here it is –

.Q1. Sit with the phrase “returning to simplicity”. What does it speak to you in your current environment? #SpiritChat

Here is the result from writing for five minutes, stream of consciousness style. Note – I changed the opening sentence after editing a photo to go with the words.

Return to simplicity: starts when I return to home, every time.

I hesitated before getting out of my car after my morning errands/Samuel school drop off run.

This has become a habit of mine: sit in my car when I arrive home. Sometimes I pull out my phone and get lost in responding to tweets or texting or seeing my facebook notifications.

I told my neighbor recently when she commented how I seem to sometimes rest in the driveway, “I sometimes wait to go in because I don’t want to deal with what’s inside.”

Somehow crossing the threshold of my house has turned into stepping into a lengthy to-do list rather than stepping into a nurturing space of sweet surrender, of holding, nurturing and a leap of too passionate growth.

When did this happen?

How did this happen?

Even as I write I realize neither of those questions matter, what is significant is I noticed it in time to make a change that delights and inspires.

I am able to choose to be simply  delighted and inspired rather than annoyed and disjointed.

I sit back in my chair a moment, stop typing, and smile. I allow this option of returning to simplicity to fill me.

My hair is half way curled because I wanted to start and didn’t care about finishing. I made coffee and actually poured myself a cup, and I put Samuel’s laundry away this morning yet not my own.

I’ve made several possibility lists and managed to rejoice about my weekend blessings (there have been many.)

How to create a more simply  loving relationship with my home?

1. More down time here. I don’t need to hurry-scurry all the time.
2. Do more intentional decorating.
3. Fill my space with sensory delights – diffuse essential oils, play my favorite instrumental music and put more art/photos up so that my chin is lifted and my spirit is lifted.

My timer went off with “festive bell” sounds today.

Maybe I need to put up some bells around the house so that I may ring them as a reminder: love, hope and optimism is in the air.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Facebooktwitterpinterest

Now I Allow, Invite, Intend….

by

Now I allow myself to feel my way into my response I keep blustering into forgetting. I need to start over because I forgot my timer. Embrace the restart. Prompt and Timer in place, go again.

I allow myself to be transparent again. Really, really truthful and clear because I find when I am transparent I am free. I have nothing to lose and as Janis Joplin reminds us (well in the Julie version) freedom stands or freedom means there’s nothing less to lose.

Things have not been easy this year.

Things have sucked much of the time.

I have kept a smile on my face most of the time and I have allowed myself to pull back and pull away.

I am allowing myself to use language differently – getting away from the should and needs and lack based language I fell into unconsciously. November is about recreating from love and abundance rather than fear and lack and neediness. “What if they leave me? What if they hate me? What if something bad happens and I need help and I’ve alienated everyone by being so full-on-flat-out myself?”

I can get intellectually it is distorted thinking that people will abandon me if I am fully myself but I can point to times when it has happened over and over again and that base fear of abandonment is a doozy!

I remember Katherine’s wedding nine days ago and I was dancing and singing like when I was a young girl. I had so much fun and I didn’t care what people thought. I remember one flash of a moment when I cared: I caught the eye of a member of Katherine’s new family – my new family – when I was singing and dancing in a way some might think unbecoming of the mother-of-the-bride and deep within me fear popped in, evil weasel like.

I smiled at it, winked, and kept dancing singing and laughing with my friends. Wasn’t wearing shoes, wasn’t at all dolled up beyond my normal self-face and I had the time of my life.

#MoreofThatPlease

Now I allow myself to continue to write into the #moreofthatplease. This week and beyond.

I am grateful for dear, life-long friends and family. I am grateful to the people who show up for me when I facilitate writing programs. I am grateful for coffee and actually drinking it without it going cold. I am grateful for my cell phone. I am grateful I asked for what I hoped for and I got it… even belated it was good still.

Facebooktwitterpinterest

Writers Talk: Memory as a Strength, A Gift, A Treasure + A Writing Prompt for You

by

“You remember too much,
my mother said to me recently.
Why hold onto all that? And I said,
Where can I put it down?”
― Anne Carson

I have been accused of remembering too much, holding on too tight, not being willing to forgive.

I’m working on forgiveness, a continual form of spiritual practice it seems.

I’m playing with the harmony of forgiveness and self-protection and advocacy. Where do I need to grow more? Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation, it means recognizing the other’s humanity and giving them the room to feel better, to know they aren’t causing you pain.

After all, the other side of me says – no one is capable of “making” anyone feel anything. It is a choice to feel what we feel, for the most part. When I feel crappy and depressed I feel crappy and depressed. No one makes me – circumstances may be lousy and there are times during deep rottenness I feel driven and optimistic and ready to expand into deep transformation.

(I can say clichés with the best of them.)

Thing is, I remember.

I can’t stop remembering.

I don’t want to stop remembering. (Here, try this prompt with me)

It is like telling an artist to remove certain colors from her palette. “No more purples, Julie. You need to focus solely on green.”

Doesn’t work for me.

I don’t focus only on the bad memories, either, I appreciate a memory concert. Here a memory of being the ultimate silly one, there a memory of a cloudy afternoon in 1983, I can hear the conversation, I can feel Mel’s arms wrapping me in compassion, I can feel the incredulity rising up in my chest.

I hadn’t remembered that in a couple decades but it comes to life and pours itself onto the page exactly when I need it most.

Why would I want to stop remembering? It is my ultimate super power – translating memory into words and reaching out with them to you and to you and to you.

My timer went off and I watched my neighbor slouching toward her SUV. I cant remember the last time we exchanged niceties. Perhaps, now, the memories will float up.

I think it was most likely about the tulip magnolia tree her husband planted and I was so excited I set aside her cat hating, sneering demeanor and loved her for a moment instead.

Perhaps, yes, right now, I will choose to love her in my thoughts, prayers and actions more often. If I hadn’t elected to remember, watch and continue to write from memory, I would only see the slouch and the sneer.

I will not give up my memories to you. Or him. Or her. Or them.

I will use the grace of the memories as transformational tools to work for the greatest good of all.
That feels so…. perfect. Just right, here and now.

Facebooktwitterpinterest

The Joy of Being Awkward “Or How I Wore the Wrong Outfit but Decided to Bust a Move, Anyway”

by

My own method of free flow writing #5for5BrainDump was born from three distinctive related places.

First, My writing workshops of almost two decades: we use free flow writing as a warm up and then as a main part of the writing process.

Second,  5 Minute Stream of Consciousness Exercises across a number of online circles, one of which was called 5 Minute Friday. I don’t know if it still exists, but five years ago on Thursday nights it used to be the thing for a group of Mom Bloggers I knew. The writing you see below is an example of what I wrote back when I was creating in those circles.

Third, The PeriGirls: a group of women live streamers who helped me discover the power of live streaming. One day in a workshop BrainDumping and 5 minutes and free flow writing and the power of doing something for 5 consecutive days collided in a lovely spree which then give birth to #5for5BrainDump.

I didn’t expect #5for5BrainDump to become a major part of my life (and it has). Life writing in many forms including as a component of business writing is my sweet spot.

Life Writing + Free Flow writing: When these two are added together I fall into another version of paradise. Add poetry and…. I could be infinitely happy for a long, long time.

I want to share a couple quick, five minute writings I did in the past that still sing with transparency today.  Later this evening I will share with you about my brand new offering.  And now, drum roll please…

“Or How I Wore the Wrong Outfit but Decided to Bust a Move, Anyway”

I decided I wanted to try something new this week, so when I saw this last Friday I knew this Friday would be magical: On Fridays a group of folk meet for a free writing exercise. Just 5 minutes. On the prompt that’s posted here just after midnight early Friday morning. Want to join our favorite free writing exercise of the week? It’s easy peasy:

  1. Write for 5 minutes flat on the prompt: “Dance” with no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
    2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
    3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..

OK, are you ready? Please give me your best five minutes on: (added by me — and here is where I got confused)

STORY

What? Is this real? I read somewhere the prompt was DANCE so I wrote five minutes on DANCE and now, after being confused, I see that I am wearing exactly the wrong word outfit.

I am not going back. I am simply adding.

The prompt this week, my first week at this Five Minute Friday is… STORY.

Story. I’ve wasted a minute writing about not getting things right and feeling embarrassed about dressing totally wrong for this party.

I could write about my championships at two Story Slam events here in Bakersfield but still harboring fear about going to “The Show” – the major leagues of Story Slamming in a big city where exceptional story tellers live.

I could write about sitting around the campfire with my Dad telling stories. He was such a word weaver. He even had me convinced (and proudly telling people) I was an ancestor of the great mystical poet and artist, William Blake.

That filled in the missing pieces of my story “Where in my bloodstream-ancestry was Writing Bug flowing?”

Until about five years ago, I would’ve sworn it was from my fabulous ancestor, William Blake. Apparently my grandmother thought this was a funny joke to tell because according to actual historical records we are related to a farmer from Iowa also named William Blake.

Here’s another real story.

I get angry when “story” gets a bad name. Some people use “story” like an epithet. That gets me fired up. Like poet Muriel Rukeyser (who I am pretty sure I am not related to at all) said, “The universe is made up of stories, not atoms.”

Today’s story: So I wrote on the wrong topic today. Big deal. The world will not spontaneously combust and these writers seem as if they will enjoy hearing my voice, anyway.

With that said, here are my first five minutes:

I am an actor who loves doing Musical Theater and I rarely get the chance. There just aren’t many roles out there for overweight, middle aged, decent but not Disney-esque singers who don’t dance very well. Well, the dancing chapter of the story is more like: who works really hard and when she gets it she gets it but until she gets it, she is the saddest dancing story you have ever seen.”

Yes, it is something like that.

The last time I appeared in a musical, I had a fantastic time working on a show most of the rest of the cast abhorred. I was so thrilled I practically levitated after each rehearsal.

I worried about dance rehearsals but I have adored our choreographer for years. He is the one person on the planet who believes in my dancing enough to smile patiently at me and simply ask me to try again, which I do. I videotaped the dances so I could rehearse at home. I was serious about this task at hand.

Like in all performance, I wanted to do well.

I didn’t want to be just passable or, without enough rehearsal, an embarrassment.

I wanted to dance along with my three other stage sisters who were at least twenty five or more years younger than me, did I mention that?

I took a Zumba class a while back and had so much fun I cried. I didn’t realize it, though, until the ending when we did cool down. Zumba itself exhausted me. I somehow kept up, sort of, but at the end when we did stretching and soft, gentle movements, a message came from somewhere deep in my heart, “I want to dance, oh, how I want to dance.”

True tears popped out from my eyes, unexpectedly. Now I was covered in salt water: ridiculous volumes of sweat and tears, involuntarily flowing from my face.

I even have the joy right now of being the Emcee for a local burlesque troupe. I tell silly jokes and stories when they get changed or prepare for their next number. I didn’t realize how much fun it could be. It also made me want to be out there, dancing.

Maybe next year.

Maybe if I do more zumba classes – which, by the way, use actual dance moves.

Maybe if I can gather confidence from the soles of my feet to the top of my head and then back to the depths of my heart where courage to do crazy things like this lives – in fact rules – choice making.

I think I’ll do it. I’ll put it on my “to do before August 2013” and I will start aiming toward it.

Me, dancing. Again. With Confidence.

What a phenomenal thought!

 5 Minutes UP! 

PS – As I prepared to post this blog entry, I saw LAST week’s topic was Dance. Ah, well. 

Julie Jordan Scott is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist  whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in Spring, 2015 and beyond.

Check out the links below to follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.

Please stay in touch!

Facebooktwitterpinterest

Happy Day of the Girl – Which Until Today I Didn’t Even Know Existed

by

“Remember the dignity of your womanhood. Do not appeal, do not beg, do not grovel. Take courage, join hands, stand beside us.” —Christabel Pankhurst

It is the Day of the Girl: a day I didn’t know existed.

I look at this little tiny girl image of myself and think how sweet and unknowing she was. She didn’t even know her bangs looked sweetly off kilter. She had yet to learn she had a cowlick and therefore bangs were never a good idea, anyway.

I laugh at that now, too – or would that be considered laughing WITH that?

I’m not sure: but Day of the Girl reminds me of my daughter as little girls and the times when I was more optimistic. I was until the last few years inherently I would say almost stridently optimistic. There is a part of me that wishes I still was that way. It made for a much happier overall Julie.

The thing is, I believe we choose the way we experience things.

I may choose optimism by stepping into a practice of gratitude for example.

This Julie-as-Director-Artist-Activist was optimistic to her core, even when she angrily threw her script down due to conflicts at

Julie Jordan Scott, Director VDay Community Campaign Bakersfield 2008

home while she worked to create a meaningful presentation of an important work.
When I look at the most recent image of me, I see the littlest Julie with the sweet bangs and the strident optimistic angry flare up Julie as well.

I have always believed and stood for equality and like Mrs. Pankhurst, don’t believe in groveling or begging.

I think what I need to remember is the courage of joined hands, especially joined hands with other women of all a variety of ages, abilities, ethnicities, persuasions, socioeconomic, faith and activist groups.

Dignity and honor as we rise, separately and together.

It is the Day of the Girl, a day I didn’t know existed. Now that I know, I celebrate the continued path to equality.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Facebooktwitterpinterest

Intuitive Art Leads to A Remarkable Weekly Plan: Productivity the Heart Centered Way

by

 

An interesting thing happens when we allow intuition blended with our heart and mind to discover where to go next with our work and in managing our time.

I rediscovered this on Saturday when I sat with my mixed media materials and hopped on Periscope for my weekly #artblock broadcast. I took an art-card I thought was perfectly fine as it was and took it a tiny bit deeper: I created a three word writing prompt by circling three random words I found on the card (books, soul, claim).

I wanted to demonstrate how using random found words worked as a writing prompt: I wasn’t meaning to have a life-work changing a-ha moment.

The thing is, intuition works like that most of the time. When we’re in the flow doing whatever it is we do that brings us contentment and our heart is open rather than restricted by shoulds, musts, have-to’s and a relentless string of needs, magic happens.

I said, in a moment of excitement, “Let’s create a haiku so you may see how this works.”

Live, on my broadcast, I wrote this haiku which described my life work, one of my primary philosophies or beliefs about life and writing, and a call to action for anyone who reads the haiku.

We aspire to love: how often do I use the phrase “love” in my business? Well, I facilitate the Word-Love Writing Community Group on Facebook. I am launching Word-Love Wednesday this week on facebook live where participants may listen and share their writings on camera because I have seen and I know how powerful it is to share our writings aloud, freshly written. Last week I wrote and shared a potent affirmation on a livestream and am working on a video that reminds us all “I am love personified.” (You are love personified, we are love personified.”

Claim each time a special time. I believe in the beauty of the ordinary moment: the mountaintop experience in the flat land of day-to-day some might call dreary. I write of everyday, in the routine-bliss of life rather than the expensive, once-in-a-lifetime because in actuality, every moment is once in a lifetime, right?

Book soul moments here: transformational coaching conversations flow through my life blood. I started my coaching practice in 1999 and many, many lives have been permanently changed for the better via our coaching moments – otherwise known as “soul moments” either one-on-one or in group settings such as the Writing Intensive that starts today and the #5for5BrainDump experience last week and especially the Transformational Conversation sessions I will begin offering this week.

That moment in mixed media play turned into an affirmative to-do list I don’t know I could have created if I sat down brusque and business like to “figure out my week.” It takes both the heart to create and the mind to translate.

It isn’t either this or that – it is this AND that (another primary tenet in the Creative Life Midwife Guidebook to a Better Life.)

 

I mapped out my week so far this way:

  1. Create content that is based in love. Share across social media platforms and include links to programs. services that stress love first. Daily.
  2. Weave the message of how an increased experience of well-being and love floats up and into and through all the work we do, including in the free Word-Love Writing Community and via live broadcasts.
  3. Remember to honor the every day in content in the Writing Intensive program. Honor “What is” and illustrate how “What is” fits into the writer’s best (and most impactful) work.
  4. Write sale page for transformational coaching conversations.
  5. Self Care Daily.

Again, I ask you –

Finally, this haiku may also be applicable to your life.

Tell me how any and all of these lines translate into your life and or/work experience.

We aspire to love – claim each time a special time – book soul moments here

If you would like to explore these topics further, I am always available to you – simply send a text to me 661.444.2735. Just identify yourself if you text first so I will know with whom I am “speaking.”

= = = =

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist  whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives.  To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Facebooktwitterpinterest

Listen to Me: You are Exactly What the World Needs Right Now

by

One day more than six years ago I sat to write for five minutes on a Sunday morning. I wrote of this belief I had then which I still have now: my writing was created  stream of consciousness style.

I used a prompt based on something from Ralph Waldo Emerson which I translated to this:

You are exactly what the world needs right now: exactly as you are right now.

I wrote for five minutes and when I was done, I sought approval, I needed approval, I was hungry for it.

One difference between the me then and the me now is the me now no longer expects approval. I assume no one will approve or even notice I wrote. This does not mean I don’t want approval. In fact, I have been known to opt out of experiences if I don’t feel included. I’ll just pick up my metaphorical marbles and go home and find someone else who seems to appreciate me.

Both of these facts: the not expecting response and the retreating from experience when I have felt slighted, illustrate my floundering trust in the now much less in the future.

I wonder if that is true for you, too, which is why it bears repeating… and repeating… and repeating….You are exactly what the world needs right now: exactly as you are right now.

I have somehow left my optimism elsewhere and am instead freshly coated with a fresh dose of cynicism. It’s gotten worse this year than I ever thought it would. It seems like our whole society has caught the “snarky” malaise, the angry bickering competitive ugly-ness I have always veered away from and until now have never looked back.

This malaise is detrimental to my health.

Yet here I sit in my dark and quiet living room feeling pangs of hope again.

I love my six-years-ago self. She had so much hope, was so naive even though she had so much pain in her not-so-distant past. Enough of her still reigns in me that I feel another slight tug of optimism.

I won’t assume you will want to read, but it isn’t horrible: i’m not embarrassed about what I wrote. It might even invite a thought my current me wouldn’t think to ask anymore. Maybe it is time for me to intentionally step back into those shoes and slightly less frown-face assumptions. So 2017 readers, meet 2011 Julie.

Note: I wrote one version of this and then my computer ate it. Frustrated anyone? Early on a Sunday morning when my son is hovering like a hawk, waiting for me to take him to one of the city pools which doesn’t open for another ninety minutes when I would much rather be plunked on the porch with my laptop, writing my heart on the page?
So – using my prompt… “You are exactly what the world needs right now: exactly as you are right now.” the 5 minutes may begin…

I wrote this very sincerely and I believe it earnestly yet somehow in between all that rah-rah believe me when I say this thought and love coated eye contact with word-love I heard Billy Joel crooning away, “I love you just the way you are” and my college friends snickering, “So, Billy doesn’t want his woman to improve… would rather keep her in her place so no one else will be attracted to her ever-getting-better nature.”

Now these were the days when Christie Brinkley was either married to Billy Joel or at least involved with him, so I remember raising my eyebrows thinking, “Most men would love Christie Brinkley just the way she is, too… absolutely gorgeous and perfect physically.” but I digress yet stay right on course.

The challenge to women (and perhaps men as well) today is we don’t think “as we are” is just right.

Instead, we buy into the cultural, societal notion that we are never good enough. We are always ten pounds from love or this orthat degree away from that job and one or twenty friends short of popular and if we did this or took that course or prescribed to this wonder pill, all would begin to brighten when in reality – if we changed our perspective and our thinking we would realize we ARE exactly what someone needs right now.

Our stories, our experiences, our listening ear, our chocolate chip cookies or hands to help a friend declutter or hold a crying-almost-complete-stranger – you are exactly what someone in this world is waiting for at this precise moment.

Not the next job you.

Not the next house or apartment you.

Not the skinnier or bigger breasted or more educated you.

This exact here and now you.

You are exactly what the world needs right now: exactly as you are right now.

I am writing this while sitting on my sofa in my messy living room. I haven’t taken a shower yet and my hair needs to be touched up. Badly. Yet I sit and write for five minutes (and then this second five after the computer ate my words) because I firmly believe…

I am exactly what the world needs right now, exactly as I am, right now.

Say it now, with me...I am exactly what the world needs right now, exactly as I am, right now.

And the timer went off and I said, very excitedly in my 2011 version me….. There! Ta-Da!

Let me know, please… anything you are thinking after reading these words hot off the tips of my fingers with no editing allowed.

I think the 2011 version of me was onto something very, very good.

I am exactly what the world needs right now, exactly as I am, right now.

You are exactly what the world needs right now, exactly as you are, right now.

We are exactly what the world needs right now, exactly as we are, right now.

= = = = =

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Check out the links below to follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.

 

Facebooktwitterpinterest

For the Love of Lists: Gratitude, To-Do’s, Ta-Da’s & Passionate Possibilities

by

Yesterday I had a chat with one of my friends about how to use the writing prompts in the Word-Love Writing Community and I thought it might be helpful to many if instead of just throwing writing prompts out here, I would talk about how I use them, then use them, and then use them differently.

We’ll start with lists. I have had a longtime love affair with lists.

On a recent visit to Quora.com a web visitor wanted to know:

How powerful is writing to do lists and gratitude lists every day?

For a long time I worked from “To Do” lists which I called “Passionate Possibility Lists” and often times, in my normal rebellion against the linear, would create attractive looking not-too-listy-lists.

I find lists quite handy, actually, and have come up with a couple methods that serve me well.

Starting and ending the day with gratitude is very potent because of the energy thanksgiving brings with it. When you purposefully take note of the goodness and beauty and happy moments, it shifts your attitude.

When you have a to-do that isn’t as pleasant, if you’ve started the day with gratitude – it lifts the attitude enough (most of the time) to begin to get seemingly unpleasant tasks done.

I have also worked from a “Ta-Da!” list which catalogs my accomplishments throughout the day. As a busy entrepreneurial mom, there are often tasks that pop up and I efficiently get them done, but other priorities are left undone.

If I was legalistic about my progress, I would punish myself or slog myself with negative self talk. If I use a “Ta-Da!” list I am able to celebrate what actually took place. I congratulate instead of criticize myself and I can see patterns in my behavior and use what actually happens as a metric to create my lists differently.

Most recently, I create a list of 5 tasks to complete the next day before my work day is over. I add a bonus item for best wishes and save it for the next day. I often review it as I write my end of the day gratitude list.

What happens as a result is I am getting more done, more efficiently and with a batter attitude.

I’ll take those results anyday!

Take a mini retreat in the canyon, perhaps… or in a local park.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Sign up now for her October 5 Day Writing Intensive Program – 

Facebooktwitterpinterest

The Why it Happened or the Reason Isn’t What Matters, Responding Now is What Matters: Write What You Need to Say

by

I realized something today, something somewhat simple – well, absolutely simple actually. I’m sort of embarrassed to even say it AND I realize in saying it there is power so here goes.

I have spent far too much time looking at who I was “before” rather than being present with who I am right now – and how the who I am right now is far more valuable to the world right now than who I was then.

Ten years ago I had a domino effect of horrible, lifetime movie inspiring themes take place within a matter of months and they effectively shattered me. I was crushed, defeated and fell to my knees with my face hitting the ground in one of those slo-mo fight scene sort of ways.

I attempted to get up and didn’t. And repeat. And repeat. And probably repeated again in that I got distracted and then I got scared and then I got scared of the distraction and while I could still talk a good game and though I kept writing, I didn’t keep taking action that made my work profitable – certainly not at a sustainable level and not as it was ten years prior.

I felt hopelessly stuck.

I talked about it in therapy and got lost in more fear, more breakthroughs but still not forward progress toward sustainable work.

This year my life took another hit and if I didn’t make changes I couldn’t feed my kids kind of crisis I knew something had to give and I fell into yet deeper depression, this worse (if there is such a thing) than I did ten years ago.

Perhaps worst of all is I managed to slowly drip away all sheds of optimism I once carried, so I couldn’t look to light anymore because I couldn’t see light anymore.

About two months ago I called the mental health crisis hotline a couple times, just needing to have the comforting feeling that someone cared about me because I had found my way back into the space where I didn’t want to trouble people in my immediate circles with the depths of my depression and I doubted they cared or if they did care, I doubted they had the resources or the patience to deal with me.

Last Thursday my new therapist asked “What caused you the most pain in the last ten years?” or something like that and I was “struck dumb” as the saying goes in that I couldn’t speak.

It was like a noose was around my neck, pulling tighter and tighter and the pain from my throat became increasingly unbearable with the gravity of the question and my inability to point to one thing immediately just that the question hurt too much to respond to and I didn’t want to start talking because I might start crying and not be able to stop and I am just. so. tired. of. crying.

Odd thing is I’ve been slowly feeling better.

I can’t point to a why or an a-ha moment or a medicine or a new diet or exercise routine. I have been broadcasting daily, I have been communicating with people and leading #5for5BrainDump and I even have a schedule and some pay-to-play programs scheduled which people are interested in taking with me.

I’ve been writing for about ten minutes now. Haven’t edited but my timer went off and I kept going. I know it is best if I stop and come back so I think I will do that, after I re-read and come up with some “moral to this story.”

I’ll just wrap back around to where I started.

I realized today I need to stop looking back at that ten-years-ago story. It is a chapter, it isn’t the whole story. What I am doing now is finally getting up, finally shaking the mud off my face and realizing the mud has kept me safe to a certain extent.

I could talk about my cancer or other such chatter and I won’t, except for what I just said.

Now, and the actions I take in it, are what matters. Being charming, silly, passionate, pull-out-the-soapbox-whenever-the-right-mood-strikes-me JJS is what matters.

Some people will think this writing is self- indulgent and silly. I believe it is helpful to whomever has read to the end. It isn’t for me to judge, it is just for me to hit publish. Which I’m doing now.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s  creative lives.

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Check out the links below to follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.

Facebooktwitterpinterest

Inspired by Equinox: Poetry and Writing Prompts Lives Again

by

My original livestream periscope show, writing and poetry prompts in the park is being revived. It may not always be in parks AND it will always be poetry, curated by me, and offered to you with prompts to guide your creative process.

Our first broadcast will have a series of Autumn Themed Poems – this prompt came from the poem “Equimox” by Elizabeth Alexander. You may find it on the Poetry Foundation Website here: Equinox by Elizabeth Alexander:

The Broadcast may be enjoyed below with my written response to the prompt below it:

Now is the time of year when I feel free to settle into my recliner and write, ignoring everything else. We cocoon and it’s cool. We cover up with scarves and softness. We have permission.

I have permission. I cocoon and it’s cool. I can hide in my Virginia Woolf room and leave the loudness of shouts about football and politics to others. Bring me in a plate of warm cookies and mocha and I’m happy for hours.

This is the time of year when I’ve had repeated illness and periods of letting go, usually together like companions in stopping the thread of what ceases to serve when this time of year rolls around.

This is the time of year I got married long ago and Katherine is getting married soon.

This is the time of year I got back up on stage, the time of year I watched a General Assembly general session, grieved more than one election, never had a child. Interesting: this is the season of “No Birth” and “No Death” just illness and letting go. Interesting.
Now is the time of year for putting on costumes and taking off metaphorical masks.

See the words with pluses? These are all words I could use for “pulling apart” in my mother’s sewing (actually preparing to sew) her least favorite part of the process.

Now is the time of year for blank paper and canvas, research rituals and learning anew. Stepping back into the classroom, delighting in connections found there, forgetting things and being forgiven for the forgetting.

Usually.

And letting go of those who don’t understand grace. And that’s ok, too – because that’s what grace is, right?

This feels like the longest five minutes on record and my timer says… “Recollection is over!”

= = =

Sometimes it feels like our brain dump goes on too long but when I keep writing I discover the juicy stuff is right there…. on the otherside of my opinion!

= = –

#5for5BrainDump has a new challenge starting next week if you’re up for it check it out now at our companion website:

#5for5BrainDump – YAY!

Coming Up: 30 Days of Writing Passionately

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

 To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Check out the links below to follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.

Facebooktwitterpinterest