Creative Life Midwife

Inspiring Artistic Rebirth

Archives for December 2017

Gifts of Forgiveness + Haiku, Breath, Questions & Moving Your Pencil Across the Page

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In revisiting my life narrative, I am revisiting all experiences without weighing in on judgment in the process. I found this from 2011 when seeking writing tips to share via social media. 

Instead, I found this gift to pass along to you, now.

I woke up this morning feeling fear rumbling in the middle of my chest. My heart was racing just enough to tell me “I am afraid. I should be afraid, I should be worried, I should – I should- I should.”

I rolled over to look out the window at the soft morning light.

There was nothing in that light telling me to be afraid.

I got up and poured myself some ice water, some vitamins and stood, quietly, breathing
in the silence as I shusssshhhhed my heart internally.

There was nothing in the coolness of the water telling me to be afraid, to be worried.

I felt my feet as I walked back to lie down for a few more moments before beginning my day.

I allowed the pillows to support my neck and head. I completely felt the sheets against my skin, the soft breeze of the fan offering up refreshment at the beginning of what will be another more than warm day.

This is what forgiveness feels like: support,cool air, hushes like a gentle mommy as she taps our back as we try to sleep, fitfully. She breathes with us, reminding us everything is fine, truly, everything including us is just fine.

I am an expert at forgiving others.

I tend to let go and forgive long before the other person has even thought to ask for it. Sometimes I think I forgive too easily, before I have given the true meaning of grace its due.

The one person I am the least likely to forgive is myself.

This morning, I started understanding self-forgiveness on a deeper level.

My primary teacher/life coach/personal development guru for today’s integration lesson was Louisa
May Alcott. Many of us only know Louisa May Alcott as the author of the classic tale, “Little Women”.
She wrote and lived so much more than this one book that made her a household name.
She wrote, “We all make mistakes. It takes many experiences to shape a life. Try again.”
in her short story, “Transcendentalist Wild Oats”

She knew and lived forgiveness more than a hundred years ago. Reading one short story of hers gave me more insights than any personal development book written in this century or the last has given me.

I thought I had nothing to write today.

I started with haiku:

waiting for coffee ~
book opened to page ninety ~
eye glasses on desk

Re-read an essay I wrote in January and gleaned this sentence to tweet:

“Today I will continue to give space for my heart’s wisdom to rise above the tyranny of the “must do now” list.”

From there I tiptoed to this quote from Miss Alcott I had carefully copied yesterday and remembered my earliest moments from today. I decided they were share-worthy.

“We all make mistakes. It takes many experiences to shape a life. Try again.”

What forgiveness are you waiting to offer yourself?

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist  whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

 To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

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Now Begin Again: How to Find Success Through Rewriting Your Life Narrative

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One of my weaknesses is borne from one of my strengths.

I create so vigorously and so often I forget what I write – and in so doing I lose a lot of the depth that seeks to be birthed.

A little less than a month ago I decided I wanted to work on rewriting my life narrative. I wanted to intentionally rework some of the messages I believed from my past in order to create a present and future that is more aligned with who I am, more aligned with my core beliefs.

Ultimately, I sought to merge my core beliefs with my unique gifts and talents to create a body of work – in this case a life and a sustainable income – that matters to myself and to others in the world as well.

While flowing in some areas, I felt hopelessly blocked in others. Reworking my narrative vigorously and openly seemed to be the best path.

I started along the journey and almost quickly as I started I stopped.

It wasn’t a big. dramatic stop with brake marks from my tires left on the road, it was just quietly not continuing because… perhaps the coffee finished brewing or a child made a request or I got a notification from Instagram or who knows what but I got distracted.

Note: this is a common practice, too, right on the verge of breakthrough I have a tendency to veer off course. I know this about myself. It doesn’t mean I always act accordingly in response.

The rest of this brief chapter I’m writing will right that practice. It is interesting to note in re-reading what I just started to edit and mold less than five days ago  I can’t recognize when it is is the seven-years-ago me “speaking” and when it is the just several days ago me “speaking”.

Today, I realize that isn’t the part of the story that matters.

I also realize this preface is taking on a life of its own which isn’t necessarily fruitful, another way block shows up. Let’s get to it.

Let’s explore the originating story now.

On this path to rewriting a damaging narrative, I have been reviewing content from the past and fusing those stories with the light of what I now know to be true.

This morning I read a seven-year-old blog post wherein I wished about having and themes of grace (a topic of exploration scheduled this week) and the be-do-have coaching formula which popped into my head and thoughts last night as I drove. I had no recollection of the relationship of “I wish” with “Be-do-have” – the seven-years-ago me is once again reminding me how smart I was and am.

The final synchronicity was in the opening paragraph. It overflowed with woundedness – both writing wounds and be-ing wounds: when people who matter to you reflect your being is somehow not good enough or is otherwise ugly or unwanted. Read now from 2010:

 “As I prepare to write my Wishcasting entry, I can’t help but hear a chorus of voices from my past, intoning slight variations along the theme of “You just can’t do anything in a small way, can you?”

In my mind’s eye  the “small way” tended to include either a facial or a vocal jeer or both and I always ended up feeling somehow less than even if I had accomplished something unique, visionary or just more out there than most people are comfortable with, but the jeers left a lasting scar on my psyche. That scarred kid doesn’t want to post my wish, doesn’t want to admit the lengthy process I took to getting to my wish because other people who made wishes  simply dove right sharing their wishes without risking life, limb or burning down your homes.

My end-of-2017 self reappears writing:

I wish to have a sense of peace that comes from abundance, from prosperity of the tangible kind – like my wish to have cash flow in and out, out and in, from multiple sources. My specific wish for a long, long time has been $25,000 dollars in and out, out and in, coming in from purchases of my products and services, flowing out to invest in making the world a better place and continually, infinitely repeating this joyful, deliberate practice.

I smile into that thought, feeling my fingers as they continue to tap even after I almost stopped – my limiting beliefs were about to hijack my fingers so instead I will intone.

I wish, I wish, I wish and I willfully intentionally lovingly agree to take action toward this image of actively manifesting and taking steps toward this wish coming to fruition. Further, I will continually, infinitely repeat this joyful, deliberate practice.

I will trust this process.

I wish to have the sense of peace that arrives on the wings of plenty and extends beyond one’s heart. I wish to move beyond an illusion and concept into reality. The birds begin to sing out my window. My heart smiles as my fingers continue to type.

I will wish in a big way because I am a big, larger than life persona. This isn’t a bad thing to be hidden, this is a fun, festive reality. Nowhere did “offensively large and loud” pop into this writing. Those people who jeer when they spoke to me of disdain were actually reflecting their own jeers at themselves, not at me or my hopes and dreams and plans. Whoever these people were – they live only in my past and may not harm or influence me now.

I wish to feel satisfied and content with the progress I make as I take action willfully toward this wish coming to fruition. This hunger I feel in my belly is the delightful recognition of alignment.

And today, Sunday, December 17, 2017 I will devote myself to repeating the key points of this chapter of my life narrative:

I trust abundance flows in the space where value is received from taking aligned, intentional loving action using my unique gifts and talents. My scars and wounds are part of the curvy road map to my most satisfying here, now and future. I trust my process, I trust in my resilience, I trust in the collaborative process of restoration and in rewriting this narrative I reclaim and rebirth my Self.

(And I can even laugh at the desire to say “This is a draft and I claim the right to continue to draft as necessary.)

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming soon!

 To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

 

 

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Writer’s Affirmation: Your Words Matter: Our Words Matter: The World Is Waiting….

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Say it with me now. Put your hand over your heart and speak it aloud: “My words matter.”

If you are in a space where saying it aloud feels foolish, say it aloud in your mind, “My words matter.” Allow yourself to take a few quiet breaths in silence. If other thoughts come in repeat it again, “My words matter.”

My words matter: do you believe this? Do you live it? Do you write and share and share and write and broadcast and say it? Again and again?

I do and I don’t. I falter. I stop. I backtrack. I get lost in my worry and fear and concern about what other people think and consistently need to remind myself of this very important affirmation: my words matter.

When I am tired, my words matter because someone out there needs to hear precisely what words are saying.

My words matter because sometimes I am the one who needs to hear and writing helps get me through the rubble covering me. Words become my flashlight into clarity. When I sit to write, the fog clears.

My words matter. Whether you are a writer or an accountant or a parent or a single person who drives for Uber and Lyft, your words matter. Are you listening? Your words matter because you are the only one who can say them precisely the way you do.

Sure people have said “My words matter, your words matter” and similar messages. Naturally. And yet – the fact I am saying this and you are hearing it right now is absolutely no accident at all.

Your word matter. YOUR words matter. Your words MATTER!

It took me only three minutes to write these words and my guess is this: me saying these words to you shifted something. These words shifted something important. All because I believed, repeated and took action.

My words matter and your words matter. Our words matter. Let’s keep writing them.

 

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist  whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

 To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

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Playful Attraction for Your Motivation Pick Me Up, Guaranteed

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This may be exactly what you are looking for when your motivation lags.

When my motivation takes a hike farther and farther away from where it is most productive,  here’s a game I play:

I take my lack centric statement and change it to the most positive, law of attraction drenched statement possible. Whether or not you believe in the law of attraction or not, switching up a cranky, needy, life sucks statement into something positive and still factual becomes a laugh inducer and a mood-shifter– at least for me.

Isn’t it worth a try?

Here is my most recent example – I would love to hear yours, too, whenever you are ready to tell me.

This morning I was considering my opportunity to drive random people around Bakersfield in exchange for green energy. I was trying not to feel bothered by the thought. I was simultaneously faced with the reality it is school vacation, both my children are home and may being a variety of people into my home when the #moreofthatplease I am seeking is a quiet bubble in a solitary space with – ideally – a beloved person delivering sustenance while I peacefully churn out words, contemplative art – that sort of thing.
I didn’t want to say “I need to drive to make some cash today right away, I’m feeling financially nervous today… “ or something to that effect.

So instead I texted Christine and said, “Why is this glorious reality of money manifestation a continual practice?”

I actually didn’t say practice in my text, I just added it now and BINGO! I’m onto something.

Practice, a la a spiritual practice – a step above a habit and alongside ritual or maybe slightly liturgical. That’s what I’m looking for, that’s what my heart seeks, that’s the playground where my soul climbs on the swing and feels her legs stretch and her hair fly behind her in the sky, separate from her body yet also attached and ever beautiful and wondrous when she is allowed to be.

It only took a few moments to retrieve what might have been hours of lament, frowning, kvetching and more than likely a bit of bickering as sauce poured over everything in a gooey mess.

To tease out the process into a how-to or recipe card file it might look like this:

  1. Take a moment and  write it like I did, as you truthfully feel in all your gooey, mucky glory.
  2. Take a few deep breaths and rewrite a part of it. Be ready to feel like what you are writing is ridiculous. It may be.
  3. Share with a friend who understands your process. If you don’t have anyone who fits this, comment your rewrite here, on this blog post. I promise I will get you –  I will understand. It’s no accident you are here, reading these words. Trust!
  4. Look at both phases of your writing. Be prepared to laugh and poke fun of yourself. Take a deep breath.
  5. Look again, this time for what is really true. Allow what is really true to find you, underneath the clutter-thought-rubble of worry, beyond the shards of broken promises and missteps into dreams that haven’t come true yet.
  6. Insert deep breaths where they fit (and even where it feels snug at first).
  7. Write again. No opinions this time, no rant or drama or hyperbole. Enjoy, no matter the outcome.

    Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist  whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

     To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

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Words: Are Healing. Are Light. Consciously Offered, are Love in Form. Use with Care.

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“Every kind of creative work demands solitude, and being alone, constructively alone, is a prerequisite for every phase of the creative process.”

Barbara Powell

I remember when Katherine was in pre-school and we had our first parent-teacher conference. It was her pre-K year and I felt like this was a HUGE thing and ran the risk of discovering what a rotten parent I obviously was.

It was none of that. She was doing great, was reading a bit and such a delight to the entire campus. (Some things don’t change, even more than twenty years later.)

I remember five years ago when I went to my primary care doctor to have a spot on my face tested I was sure was nothing. It was something. A week later I was called by the dermatologist I had been referred to. I was standing in the office at Samuel’s school when the call came. It was melanoma. Katherine was about to return to school at Smith College and wouldn’t be around for the surgery. Samuel had started 6th grade, Emma 10th grade.

I had surgery and received a lovely reminder of my cancer via the scar on my face. I spent time creating art and writing about it. There is a link to a post on my old blog about it I can’t even remember writing but in retrospect had some insightful, caring writing that deserves to be read again.

Five years later I have not had a return to melanoma but I do sport a fancy heart shaped scar on my face, I have had basal cell carcinoma removed from my back and actinic keratosis led to facial lotion chemotherapy and just this morning I learned I need another round of facial lotion chemotherapy.

This time the actinic keratosis had spread more, so she froze the four spots where it had popped up and sent me off with a prescription.

My skin still stings from the freezing process and I am not quite ready to be my cheerful, upbeat, face the world squarely with confidence self. I do feel compelled to meet the world with passion – after I take a moment to reflect and be alone for a few hours.

Probably the moment I will remember the most from this morning was my dermatologist noticing I was not my usual ebullient self. I was having a challenging time not crying – I have been straddling the line between being so-so and falling into a funk again – and she gently asked if I was ok, if I wanted to talk to her about what was going on – if it was something she might help me with.

My responses were head shakes, couldn’t quite speak yet, and I felt cared for by her even on a morning I knew she was extra busy.

That felt nurturing and good.

Maybe I should have asked for a gift certificate to a luxury hotel and a house cleaning service for a month so during the chemo treatments I wouldn’t have to worry about housework? J

The simple act of writing about it is making me feel refreshed a bit. I was able to dress my bitmoji in a cute holiday outfit. I watched some of my live streaming friends do their thing. I am now looking at “how to draw a bridge” instructions.

I am not falling into a black hole, I am stepping into the light at my pace. It is slow but not too slow.

I’m starting to look forward to the stories I will collect and tell about today in the future.

I found a stirring blog post from five years ago I really enjoyed discovering from when I had a diagnoses that included melanoma.

Here it is:

“Words. They can do for the heart what light can for a field.”

Juan de la Cruz

Words have always been my anchor art. I can always return to them. They always wait for me to show up. And the rest of the world? Is waiting for them.

So here I am, offering my words up – sure that for someone out there this is exactly what they needed to hear. For that, I am grateful.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist  whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

 To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

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Connect to a Random Someone & Make the World a Better Place Instantly

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Sometimes we have to have an experience to remind us of what really matters.

Yesterday I met a man named Ehab.

He was a clerk at a convenience store which is undoubtedly not a glamour job nor a job where a clerk is appreciated for simply ringing people up for random items they need in a hurry and his name intrigued me.

“How do you say your name?” I asked. He told me it rhymes with Rehab.

“Where does it come from?” and he responded “Egypt.”

I immediately thought, “Oh, people might be rude to him because of this heritage so I will continue with my curiosity which seems to be pleasing, not annoying.”

“How interesting. We had an Egyptian exchange student named Mansour one school year.”

He smiled and nodded and asked me my name. I told him and he added my name was found in Egypt also. “Really?” I said, smiling, thinking I didn’t know whether or not he was speaking accurately or not but that didn’t even matter at this point.

What really matters is I noticed something unique about a fellow human and commented on it which created an instant connection.

We furthered that connection by going one question deeper.

Both of us were enhanced by this moment in time. It doesn’t matter if it never repeats, like I have never had another random cowboy run across a parking lot in order to hold the door open for me but I will never, ever forget the time I went into a convenience store in Wyoming and a quintessential.” cowboy whose mother probably taught him, “Open doors for the ladies in town,” made sure this particular door was open.

Take a moment today to create a memorable moment with someone you may never see again.

This is a simple way to practice making the world a better place without being attached to any particular outcome.

It is an incredibly freeing soul practice that simultaneously makes the world better for many other people you may never know, including people from Egypt or other places.

Please share your stories with me,

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist  whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

 To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

 

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You or Someone You Know Needs to Read This: Forgiveness & Reconciliation

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2009:

I wrote about having a falling out with a friend and finding my way back to forgiveness.

In forgiveness, we find the pain of the shattered glass is remembered by the scars it leaves, but the strength gained from those scars makes them both worth the pain and strikingly beautiful as well.

2017:

I write about having a falling out with myself and finding my way back to understanding.

It is the 5 am hour and I am writing. I lit a candle, the coffee is brewing it is quiet except for my fingers tapping and the heater making the room comfortable for me. A soft pink blanket is covering my feet. This feels almost idyllic.

Next week at this time there will be a Christmas tree in front of me.

Fifteen minutes ago I discovered the toilet had overflowed sometime after I went to sleep and this morning I plunged it, matter-of-factly, when I noticed the hem of my pants and warm socks were inexplicably saturated in water.

Not idyllic.

This week the Christmas tree isn’t in its spot and I wonder why I feel content and satisfied. Aren’t things supposed to be perfect, like an Instagram photo of the clutter free living room, everything in enviable feng shui order, cookie cutter offspring leading successful satisfied lives and me with a huge bank account, an adoring partner and a vast array of assorted friends who unwaveringly support every choice I make with a chorus of hurrahs?

That would be satisfaction of a slightly different sort. Perhaps that is a goal for six months from now.

Progress is the new perfection.

Julie Jordan Scott is enjoying writing without her glasses on so she can barely make out what the words say as she writes. She has been revisiting her past writings in order to gain perspective and to learn from the wise one who once wrote from these very same fingers yet have been forgotten, somehow, even in the words’ inherent value.

Interested in working with Julie? Getting to know her? Use the social media links on the side here or text her at 661.444.2735. its the most direct method of contact. She loves hearing from you, even when it feels awkward to write in the expected third person.

 

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Where Has Your Journey Taken You – Artist, Entrepreneur, Human? Let’s Explore Together –

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I tried something different today with my five minute writing free writing/brain dumping time. I took an essay I wrote ten years ago and had a conversation with my past self.

It was the closest thing I can imagine to time travel, witnessing my thoughts in the past and communicating back to myself.

I even quoted myself from ten years ago on twitter and facebook and got responses from dear friends who offered reassurance. So much love abounds: for all versions of me and for all versions of you.

Do you wonder what a conversation like this sounds like?

Here it is – me now in bold italics and me then – not bold and not italics.

Collaboration with ten years ago me:

Sometimes I think I pour too much of myself into my art. I get concerned that somehow the dark corners of my being will “pollute” the art itself.
(Just this morning I worked on a mixed media piece and smeared paint across a segment of the work I thought was “just right”. Even as I type here I think “maybe I should go pull some of that paint up, restore what’s underneath. Admit it, self, it did look cool as was and now, as you so often do, you messed it up.

And then I remember the following whisper into my mind-heart. “Trust the process” it told me. I took a deep breath, set the newly smeared canvas aside and walked away. “Trust the process” – don’t intervene anymore and allow someone or something outside yourself to decide what is just right and what isn’t.)

Then there comes a time when I get to purposefully and intentionally explore my artist’s journey, like
I did when I was asked to prepare an artist’s statement for an upcoming art show.

(Note to self: seek submissions to art shows. Trust that process, too, of rejection to rejuvenation and the steps in between.)

Here is what I wrote (back ten years ago).

My artist’s journey has taken significant twists and turns since the first (burn the witch).

I watched myself dive into wordlessness (through  watercolor paint and photos) and trust that
even without my preferred creative medium – words – art is born. Three words encapsulate this year: Loss.
Sacred. Love.

(I didn’t know it at the time but these words became the foundation for the following decade.)

Loss, through absence and broken perceptions and death – awakened a different form of creative
communication. The Sacred invited others into my world of flow, trust, divine guidance and non-judgment. I discovered love cannot always adequately be communicated with words, it must be felt in breath, in energy, in what is conceived when we collaborate.

(Note to self: this paragraph is worth reading daily, maybe several times a day. Your ten years ago self was wise. And by the way? Don’t go into self critique.  – You temporarily forgot this wisdom.

What were we just saying? “Trust the process” even the sliding backwards. The world is waiting for these words of backslides as well as the words of victorious celebrations of insight after insight after insight.)

It is especially joyful when we join hands to experience (metaphoric) creative tandem bungee jumping. I love feeling the wind whip through my hair and the whooping and hollering in my heart as we careen towards the earth and then get swooped back into the loving arms of the Divine.

(Note to self: I was writing about Soul Poetry. It is time to write this again.)

This year that deep, profound, sacred love looped back into loss which bred even more art. This year I picked up a camera, I wrote another play, I allowed myself to step into the darkness and draw the door
closed behind me so that I could learn from this year’s gift.

(This decade-long gift)

Feel the loop now: Sacred. Love. Loss. Art. Love. Sacred. Art.

(Feel the loop now: Sacred. Love. Loss. Art. Love. Sacred. Art.)

Where has your artist’s journey taken you this year?

(Where has your artist’s journey taken you this decade? This life?)

(Where do you want to go next?)

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist  whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

 To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

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Love for Systems and Structures: The Artist’s Dream Companion for Success

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“What sorts of systems and structures may I put into place that will support me and not feel like a noose around my neck?”

What makes a system?

What makes a structure?

What makes me think of them as a negative or something I don’t want?

I love mission statements, I enjoy guidelines, what makes me feel like I’m being strangled is this:

The first time I was witness and a victim of a “according to procedure 467.3” mentality I had recently lost Marlena. I had taken on a job as a Program Manager at a home for the developmentally disabled. It was the start of my getting underpaid for my work because I was holding on by a thread and needed to keep holding on and it felt like the best I could do.

This man (The one speaking about procedures and repeatedly parroting them back to me) was a bumbling bureaucrat, former state employee. He had worked at the dreaded state hospital my mind always told “avoid, avoid, avoid” and then he did the droning on about numbers and “the state the state the state” was something of a God at that place I worked and that was a natural turn off and fear inducer for me.

I remember being sick over that stupid, didn’t pay enough job.

I remember when I was stressing out about something and Katherine jerked in my belly and I freaked out more. I was literally in a chronic state of fear, a chronic state of “I am risking the worst pain in my life in order to have something really great but damn I feel like I myself am on the verge of death all the time!”

He was tall, on the edge of portly and was losing his hair.

He wore glasses. He bent his neck when he looked down at me and droned on about whatever whatchamacallit he was worshipping.
I wonder how many times my subconscious mind said, “I will never be like that blow hard, I will never, ever EVER be like that blow hard.”

He was a caricature of a small time good ol’ boy and therefore to be avoided at all costs.

I saw him as systems and structures personified.

Note to self: this bumbling bureaucrat was NOT systems and structures personified, he was a buffoon.

  • Let go of him as a representation of systems and structures – which are in place to support you – and start recreating your relationship with systems and structures which will keep your vision alive:
  • spiritual practices (Gratitude, Art, Meditation, Prayer)
  • timed writing daily
  • a calendar to keep track of appointments and tasks for long, medium and short term
  • a daily list of 5 passionate possibilities written the day prior.

These are systems that nurture and nourish.

These are structures upon which you may build your sustainable transformed life.

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