Creative Life Midwife

Inspiring Artistic Rebirth

Feelings: Over Around and Upside Down Getting Through the Covid19 Pandemic

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Weekends for me tend to be busier than weekdays and during these days of quarantine, it is not different. I stay where I am and I have the meetings I would have had out and about. I leave my home to write haiku and I come home and I have more meetings.

Earlier today I was so tired I really wanted to opt out of my later-in-the-day meeting but I didn’t. I was actually energized afterwards. Yay me for showing up anyway?

I did some decluttering and purposeful television watching (Little Fires Everywhere) and now, I give myself the gift of a touch of writing before I either make a video or do some decluttering or both.

I look back up and see the graphic I made earlier in the week,a quote. “A word after a word after a word is power,” and I think “She’s right. Margaret Atwood is right.”

What I was feeling before I sat down to write was anger.

I saw a writing prompt and it made me mad.

But I pushed that mad away and pretended it hadn’t existed and allowed the distraction to take center court and then again, “A word after a word after a word is power” so here I am.

I am angry. This unknown is stretching out in front of us with no end in sight is starting to get on my nerves. I can pretend it doesn’t bother me and get all into spiritual mode, but I am afraid to go into grocery stores and I am out of cranberry juice and that makes me feel angry, which highlights my privilege and makes me feel ashamed for getting upset about something like not having cranberry juice when lives are being lost.

Someone is texting me as I write and my phone buzzes. I more than likely don’t want to talk to them (or text with them.) Right now I would like chocolate. I am angry that my default is still chocolate. I am angry I have had a chocolate addiction for almost my entire.

My spiritual better half is whispering in my ear to practice self-forgiveness but my mad as hell and I’m not taking it anymore side is escalating. Clackety clackety clackety up the roller coaster mountain my anger goes…no relief in sight. No relief in sight.

I put my head against the back of the chair and watched videos of my trip to the river this morning. I allowed myself to feel whatever was gurgling up. I stopped feeling angry and remembered I am in control of what I do with my anger.

There may not be the relief I would like to have and there is relief in knowing I have tools like writing, meditation, daily virtual Coffee Date Conversations, music, 27 fling boogies, art journaling, all of it will get me closer to feeling better even if these circumstances continue longer than I might want or like.

“A Word after a word after a word is power,” says Margaret Atwood.

My words, “I have the ability to process. I gain strength daily. I have the resources I need to get through this just like I’ve gotten through many other setbacks along the way.”

Grace flows because my heart knows – a word after a word after a word is power.

AFFIRMATION TO USE:

“Grace flows because my heart knows “A word after a word after a word is power.”

Writing prompt:

Right now I feel…… (write without editing or judgement. End your writing with 5 gratitudes and the affirmation, “Grace flows because my heart knows – a word after a word after a word is power.”

Women holding mugs of coffee, tea, mocha to represent a "virtual coffee date" held virtually during the 2020 pandemic.
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Julie JordanScott is the Creative Life Midwife. She inspires people to live their life as an artform and then take action towards their best results. Her specialty is writing – her easiest way to express what she does is this: She Coaches. You Write. Your Readers Win! During the 2020 Pandemic she is also leading daily Virtual Coffee Dates, Facilitating Intentional Conversation so people will feel less isolated during this time of social and physical distancing.

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What Joy Will You Share Today? Prompts & Inspiration for Your Journey

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Writing prompts, or prompts for creative reflection, make a big difference for people.,. These are about describing joyful moments. Try one!

This Anne Sexton quote reminds me of the gratitude quotes I cherish, the wise quotes which serve as reminders of how important it is to share what we are grateful for… which is something I think I mostly have down.

Mostly.

Gratitude and joy have the same “positive” root, yes, and I see gratitude as a state of being that is quiet and reflective – in my mind’s eye and my heart’s embrace I feel my friend Maria’s energy. Joy, on the other hand – is more like character in the movie, “Inside/Out”

Writing prompts may be used for creativity, converstion or contemplation. Describing joyful moments helps us remember and create new ones, for example.

Joy is a bit rambunctious and loud, definitely a physically energetic jubilant sort of space. JOY is me when I jump up and down and clap my hands because I do, actually, jump up and down and clap my hands.

It is not something I plan to do, it is something I do spontaneously.

What is your perspective?

PROMPT: Write for 5 minutes about a recent joyful moment.

Write for 5 minutes about a long ago joyful moment.

Write for 5 minutes about a future joyful moment –

Woman with brown hair and glasses sitting in a park, enjoying the blue sky and trees before she gives an inspiring talk.

This post is a part of the Women’s History Month Writing Quotes & Prompts series from Julie JordanScott, the Creative Life Midwife, and her Word-Love Writing Community you may join for free on Facebook. During March, there will be daily discussions on the quotes and prompts we present here, too. Join the conversation and improve your writing at the same time!

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The Magic of Letting Go of the Handsome Prince Rescuer

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Each day during Women’s History Month we will be sharing a quote, a short essay and a prompt from a woman writer. Enjoy!

I must confess: I have not felt like a very good administrator of self-rescue lately. I have been distracted.

It doesn’t matter how, or why and I realize as I write this morning, it isn’t like my distraction is a permanent situation. My distraction has happened before and it may happen again.

The thing is, as my own “administrator” or Chief Courage Officer and Leader Transformational Specialist, it is within my domain to pick myself up and set myself back on the route to reunion with my best self.

So far this year has been exceptional with many breakthroughs. Just a few more will take me to my next remarkable new beginning.

Sometimes I long for a “handsome royal person” to swoop me up and out of my challenges and yet I also know what I would enjoy even more is a partner or team with whom I could work to bring my vision to life.

No sooner do those words come off the tips of my fingers I realize I have that, too, within me.

Once again, I am grateful how just a few minutes of writing brings me to an entirely different perspective. Incredible how easily it happens.

That’s how it is when we are the administrator of our own rescue! Thank you, Elizabeth Gilbert, for the flashlight!

Prompts: When I take on the role of “life administrator” it feels like….

When I consider being rescued by a (handsome) prince, my natural response is…… and in the future, I would prefer to intentionally respond….

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Truth or…. Consequences? Better Writing? Freedom? Vulnerability?

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What truth am I ready to tell?

I feel increased frustration. Why did I write this prompt?

Why did I decide to write from it first instead of offering it to other people first?

How am I supposed to even begin talking (or) writing (or) be willing to be vulnerable enough to take this one in any decent narrative?

Right in that moment I wanted to shut down completely, but something jostled me so I finally stop worrying about narrative or getting it right or anything except filling the five minutes with the tapping on the keyboard.

Five minutes on the timer and… write. I started with something easy to address, something obvious.

I am ready to tell the truth… I am happier with my hair colored than when I was attempting to grow it into its natural state.

Maybe if I hadn’t gotten sick I would be rushing back to going grey/white again but I simply feel more bright spirited with my hair the color it is now – I actually feel more freedom to experiment with it again.

In all honesty, the only thing I liked about my grey adventure was the whitest part of my hair and the purple streak Jolie painted into my hair every time I visited her.

Other than that, I felt pretty hideous about my appearance most if not all of the time. I stopped looking at myself in mirrors. It certainly didn’t help with the overall malaise I was feeling.

I am not ready to tell the full truth of my near-death experience in October. Recently I found myself quite willing to tell one friend more details than normal. That was a surprise and actually felt optimistic and eye-opening.

I am ready to tell the truth of my anger about some of what I observe in special education. I am ready to tell the truth (with some changed names) in the book I am finally editing – again.

Again, more truth tumbles out: when I reviewed the last edits, I will tell you the truth that version of me had it a lot of it wrong. J Sometimes when editing, our true writing voice gets sucked dry. That’s not what this book is about, especially.

This book is messy and tired and frustrated and ebullient.

I am ready to tell the truth – and grow in my ability to share what I feel and know and think – without fear of retribution and abandonment.

Truthfully, I am stronger to face both of those because I have experienced both abandonment and retribution and discovered through the process I am bolder and more resilient than I could have ever known without them.

Five minutes later – time is up and I feel infinitely better than I did when I sat down to write.

What a joy!

And now it is your turn to write:

  • What truth are you ready to tell right now?
  • TIPS:
  • Start with an “easy” truth if you have any hesitation, like I did with my grey hair. You might start with “I don’t like broccoli” or “I love watching the Bachelor.
  • Keep writing until the five minutes are up.
  • Allow yourself to follow the flow of the pencil (or pen or fingers on the keyboard). They will take the writing where it needs to go.

Julie JordanScott, the Creative Life Midwife, is committed to Eradicate Loneliness through intentional connection, passionate purpose and creative expression. Sign up now to stay connected with the movement and receive inspirational emails to insure you will minimize loneliness for yourself and those you love. Visit EradicateLoneliness now to sign up for free.

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Care and Compassion Question for Transformation: What if…

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How many of us treat others with much more care and compassion than we do ourselves?

What is up with that?

Today I am thinking about how I might feel about myself if I spoke myself with the same kindness and curiosity I speak with others.

In fact, it just happened. I started straying off course, I was searching something about “my why” via the work of Simon Sinek and the next thing I knew, I was about ready to start watching another 15 minute video.

I had forgotten I committed to writing for 20 minutes: or rather, writing this blog post (which I wanted to also make into social media posts in Instagram and maybe twitter and on my facebook page and group.)

I actually said aloud, “Oh my gawsh, I got lost again.”

Because I had just read this prompt, I stopped myself and said, “What would you say to a loved one?”

Soft smile, “Julie, hey… let’s come back here to the prompt, remember?”

The Version of me that was off course would look up, sheepishly…. “He is just soooo good!” and then, “I can’t believe I got lost again.”

The compassionate soul-leader-me would respond, “You were just distracted momentarily. You know who and where you are and you know how delightful it is to find people who believe optimistically about humankind like you do… so let’s spread the word….”

And the two-versions-of-me merge again.

All is well.

All is better than well when I treat myself with the same tenderness and care as I treat others.

Prompt: What would happen if you treat yourself with the same tenderness and care as you treat others?

Julie JordanScott writing personalized love poetry.

Julie JordanScott is a multi-creative who lives in Bakersfield with her daughter, Emma, in an eighty-year-old house with two palm trees in her yard. She loves writing and reading poetry, sitting by the Kern River and learning new quirky facts about literary grannies and what makes people tick. Her current project is finding ways to end the secret epidemic facing the US – with 60% of Americans affected by it. This love poetry project is another way she is working to eradicate loneliness – more information may be found on how you may be involved in the cause at EradicateLoneliness.com

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Visionary Goal: The 10 Year Plan for More Standing-Room-Only Audiences

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My ten-year-vision is a living, breathing, ever-present experience every day of my life. I have 10 specific vision-goals I write in my journal or notebook daily. At least three days a week I am writing more on each of the vision goals to deepen and enrich the future and now experience.

Here is the Vision/Goal:

There is standing-room-only at my public appearances.

I am blessed to report I know what it is like to have standing room only crowds at my public appearances and it is less than a month since I started working this ten-year-vision-plan.

I have had standing room only audiences at poetry performances and sell-out crowds in theater productions I’ve been in.

If you have a goal where you have no prior experience, one way to catch a view-experience for it is to attend an event where it is expected to be standing-room-only or may be close to sold out when you purchase tickets. When you are there, imagine yourself on stage instead of in the audience.

Allow the buzz from the crowd to fill you. Record their responses with your phone and refer back to your recordings. Write about the actual experience and then write/envision/visualize yourself in place of whoever is speaking or performing.

I have not had standing room only in places where I have had speaking engagements, book signings or in webinars I have hosted.

For the first time in a long time, I feel excited as I note where I have yet to be successful.

A-ha! The daily review of the ten-year-vision-plan is sinking into my bloodstream. It is powerful because I can remember the energy of the standing=room-only crowds. I can feel into my memory to recall how energizing it was to accept applause and attentive response from  the standing ovation, sold-out show crowds.

Next is what action to take – what goals with measureable results may I bring into place in order to make this vision a reality.

  1. I have been working on my email list. I was on a live chat that got disconnected on Wednesday and on Thursday I joined an email list that does exactly what I want mine to do. This is an example of the energy following the vision. On Wednesday I would not have been able to clearly communicate what I want to customer service. Now, I can communicate clearly by sharing the images I’ve gathered. The more people on my list, the more I may expand and attract audiences. This is exciting!
  2. While this may sound odd, I ordered a new Tri-Pod selfie stick to use in making videos. One of the weaknesses of my old selfie stick was It was perpectually sliding down while I was recording. This new one has a device with a solid clip at various height levels to keep everything stationary. This one change immediately makes me more excited to get back into making videos. Videos build connections. Connections build audiences.
  3. I bought a new domain name that is addressing “my heart’s why” why a-la Simon Sinek and “Start with Why.” My programs, classes and even this article do that, but this new domain carries the name in a perfectly clear sense. (I will share it once it is built which will be soon!)

I am excited to get the site up and running with a welcome video and yes, an email list attached. Because the website is the most direct connection between my why and my message, I can see my audience growing exponentially which leads to – bigger crowds wherever I go.

I have to say these final words to connect back to my past, my present and my future vision: at my second book signing ever, a man came to me with shaking hands and asked me to sign his copy of “Chicken Soup for the Soul of America.” He had been a longtime fan of mine and so believed in my message and my voice that he thought all my books would be sold out when I was there and I would be mobbed by people who would be shaking, like he was.

This man has no idea how inspiring he continues to be for me.

No one from my extended family showed up – and that hurt me – but Paul did, even as nervous as he was to meet me. I didn’t even realize people might be excited to meet me.

My final confession for today is this: I was definitely NOT feeling it as I sat down to write this afternoon. I’m in a mid-afternoon slump. I tucked my naysayer mind off and started to type.

I chose to move forward, with love, and my hope and intention you will as well.

The more you connect with your vision, the more purposeful you will feel and the more passionate action you will be driven to take.

Have you started working on your ten-year-vision yet?

If you haven’t, what is stopping you? If you aren’t comfortable commenting, drop me an email at juliejordanscott at gmail dot com. Let’s have an honest conversation about how your why and what you are up too in this world is too important for you to ignore for a moment longer.

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Mark Twain Made Me Do This!

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This is all Mark Twain’s fault. Mark Twain, the alter ego for  Samuel Clemens, as in the man who was a humorist and once a journalist and has created many well-known characters like Huck Finn and Becky Thatcher, as in the man portrayed in countless one-person shows often played in middle schools across the US.

Mark Twain is the one who reportedly said, “The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”

How do I bring this up, the question I most want to ask you?

I realize I ought to try bringing it up like I bring up many things – by asking questions and telling stories and offering you some prompts to write, journal and make things – like conversations and photos and paintings, for a few possibilities.

How do you know when you are comfortable with yourself?

At first I was thinking like this: I am not comfortable with myself when I want to ask you (or anyone, actually) something that feels uncomfortable to ask and if you are to respond, “What do you mean by that, Julie?” I am not sure I could give you a decent answer on this one.

Maybe I will forget this idea for a blog post and go along my merry little way and no one will know I even thought about writing it.

Then I remember I am at the tail end of a blog challenge which is something like a promise – and I missed posting on another day this week and after that, I forgot to add my title before I posted which is close to not posting at all so what I will do is just take a deep breath and ask you a question I don’t know how to answer myself.

Then I realized the problem I had was in this precise moment I am much more equipped to answer “how do I know when I am not comfortable with myself?” like right now, as an example.

I thought of writing right away but then I looked at the clock and realized I needed to pick up my daughter from her class so I stepped away and my mind started working on this concept again.

Here is your prompt, to write along with me – be sure to put your writing in a two to five minute container and end your writing with gratitude.

  1. I am not comfortable with myself when….

And now me (my turn to write)…. I am not comfortable with myself when I am smothered by fear, whether or not it is rational. This happens when I am stuck under the rock of history, the big pile of mind clutter and argument I built for far too long because I believed the “less than” and negativity other people have shoveled and I have agreed to by staying on the ground, limp and sad and lonely.

I am not comfortable with myself when I bump into people I am in a broken relationship with, someone who I believe doesn’t like me or has hurt me in the past.

I am not.. and the timer went off!

And now you… write it, now…..I am not comfortable with myself when

2. Second prompt….I felt the most comfortable with myself when I….(and now, I write) I felt the most comfortable with myself when I had the feeling of being successful, when I knew I was where I was meant to be. When I facilitate workshops and see people making discoveries they wouldn’t have made if we hadn’t joined together: that’s one example. On stage, I have felt it both in plays but also poetry performances – especially improv style poetry performance. Deep conversations does this, singing does this – being in a meditative sort of space I feel so comfortable in my own skin.

When people see me and hear me and love me anyway, I feel so comfortable in myself, with myself and with whomever I am with – whoever has blessed me with their presence.

Timer – went off.

And now you…. write it, now….I felt the most comfortable with myself when I….

Take time to write in response to these prompts. If not now, copy them into your journal or notebook or a document on your computer and give yourself the gift of time to respond. Blame it on Mark Twain if it makes you feel better: writer of Tom Sawyer, Huckleberry Finn and my favorite, the lesser known Pudd’nhead Wilson.

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Last night I didn’t feel, this morning I wrote…

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Last night I didn’t feel well, so I opted out of book club and then tossed and turned and kvetched the night away, shaking my fist at the new moon until I allowed her to hold me close.

This morning I wrote my 35th haiku in thirty-five consecutive days. I haven’t left my porch yet. I continued with my morning writing practice and lit my candle in another new, sustaining ritual pointing towards intentional connection in all I do, make and live. I did this before I drank my first cup of coffee.

I don’t know what today will hold specifically and I have several distinctive containers – a toastmasters meeting and a book club meeting – for deliberate connections with people. As I wrote that sentence, it occurred to me I may take those appointments (before this I saw them as duties) as ways to truly see and hear specific people who also gather in these groups.

What I mean by “seeing and hearing specific people” is I will not only mindfully listen to people as they speak, I will also initiate conversations with people who may not be engaged – those who may be feeling left out or unimportant to others in the group.

When I show up this way it isn’t so much of a battle to get there, although I believe a shower is in order and I have yet to achieve that!

Why is this worthy of sharing on my blog?

It is worthy of sharing because our future is built on our everyday moments, our conscious intention or lack thereof. If we choose to stay focused on anger and disassociation from everyone who doesn’t think, feel, create and move through the day exactly as we do, we miss opportunities for surprise, delight and increased meaning and creativity.

What of this message today resonates with you?

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Hello? The is Universe Calling –

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Sometimes the Universe seems to send me assignments and without warning, the compulsion to dive in takes over my mind and heart. It seems to be without choice! There I am – fascinated by facts or happenstance or a new hobby or person or learning a new skill.

I can’t remember how this one started, but I was working on a speech for Toastmasters when a headline about “the Loneliness Epidemic” caught my eye and all of a sudden it became my primary hook for my speech.

Today I decided to follow up on that speech because I decided my next speech would be on the same topic with additional visuals using power point in my presentation.  I searched my computer for notes and found absolutely nothing.

That’s when I remembered sitting in my car, scribbling out an outline in the last fifteen minutes before the meeting started. I was going through a rebellious phase in my Toastmasters experience because the last speech I spent a lot of time preparing was the most difficult I had done to date and the feedback I got from it was filled with negativity and some deeply cutting critique, not constructive at all but like slashes on my raw heart.

I decided I wouldn’t invest so much in my speeches in the future, “It isn’t worth the pain,” I thought.

I remember when I spoke, I got my outline mixed up and had to do what I had planned to do in the beginning at the end. I felt like I repeated myself but apparently on that day repetition was an effective strategy. Most importantly, I managed to remember the statistics on loneliness.

Here is some of what I said:

Scientific American reports 60% of Americans experience loneliness on a regular basis.

Americans are lonely in boardrooms, classrooms, restaurants, movie theaters: everywhere, people are lonely – even when surrounded by others.

Loneliness is one of those “untalkaboutables” people don’t bring up. Your shutting down may have looked like my shutting down when I told my closest friend I was feeling painfully lonely, but she didn’t understand. She believed that since I had children and a handful of friends I do activities with, it was impossible to be lonely.

She lobbed a healthy dose of shame in response to my confession.

I think I gave my original speech some time in November, close to two months ago. It has taken all this time for me to respond with a hearty “hell, yes” to the Universe.

My call is to work toward eradicating loneliness. My task is to continue the conversation, no matter how scary it is or how vulnerable I become in bringing it up.

I was surprised to find this poem on my old blog yesterday, a poem I don’t remember writing but still sounds much like the me-of-recently.

 the only

real she knows is

loneliness

it would surprise

some to know. Some

like that

one friend who

was startled she

felt left out

and hurt and discouraged

arriving to an event

where the others had

gathered. perfectly content

without her.

so what is real?

her statement

“my feelings are

hurt. I’ll get over it.

I always do. for now

I prefer to sit here

alone.” again. as in

the other times.

she could trust

loneliness. even

find contentment

in loneliness.

unchanging. predictable.

Today isn’t the day for chirpy tips on how to not be lonely.

It is a day, instead, for contemplative reflection.

Take this prompts as a way to remember both loneliness and connection.

Tune into loneliness as a way to know it more clearly from a space of love.

Tune into connection so you may invite increased connection into your life experience and multiply connection out with and beside others.

Prompt: I remember feeling lonely, back when….(re-create a moment of loneliness in written, spoken (into your video camera) or in a piece of expressive visual art).

Prompt: I remember deep connection in the moment I.….(re-create a moment of deep connection in written, spoken (into your video camera) or in a piece of expressive visual art).

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How Revisiting Your Old Blogs, Journals and Social Media Post Leads to a Happier Life

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Today’s a-ha roared toward me like a soft scratching on the front door from a long lost pet who found her way home.

I was re-reading a blog post from last January where I wrote:

Why do I have to go so deep with so many things? Why do I take a submarine dive into a simple prompt?

New version: What’s up with me choosing to go so deep with my new discoveries?

Another question I asked on the original blog post:

Why am I compelled to feel so deeply? Why aren’t toe dips in the shallow end enough for me?

What is the gift (are the gifts) in deep feelings? What is the benefit of not being like others, who are perfectly content in shallow feelings?

I have done a lot of personal development work as a part of not only my life work as a creative life coach and even so – I hit mindset roadblocks of limited beliefs on a regular basis.

Working on rewriting my narrative is a standard part of my life.

These questions from “before” – a year ago – illustrate how I was assessing my basic ways of being as somehow wrong. I have been known to call that “wrongifying myself.”

The new versions are aimed at recognizing the strength within me rather than the “what’s wrong”. This reminds me of the ee cummings quote, “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”

At my core, I am a deep thinking, intensely passionate person. Toe dips in shallow water don’t appeal to me. One way I have changed is this: I have gotten more patient or understanding (and at times I may say compassionate) with those who find their deepest satisfaction playing in the shallow water only.

Shallow water lovers are creating the life they are meant to live being their most real selves.

My most real self loves pushing myself into new adventures. My most real self is going to dive into these new questions and see what flows.

Question for integration: Review your blog posts, journals and social media pages to see what you were experiencing or creating a year ago.

How have you changed?

What are you inspired to create now as a response?

To see last year’s blog post, visit here:

END THE DOWNWARD SELF TALK SPIRAL: FROM LAMENT TO SELF LOVEhttps://creativelifemidwife.com/2019/01/

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