Creative Life Midwife

Inspiring Artistic Rebirth

Is it Still January, 2021?

by

I wrote this on January 9, which feels like years ago now. The only reason I know January isn’t over is my birthday hasn’t happened yet.

The last few weeks have felt like decades, like 2020 was just a tiny warm-up to what the first 10 days of 2021 would bring. I’m choosing to see this – no I will not say unprecedented – unsettling time as a chance to withdraw, as I did a few days ago, to reflect and see my perspective and the stories that come with it from MY perspective only.

Yesterday I was so exhausted from the day itself, I fell asleep shortly after 8 pm. I had nothing left to give except a devotion to my pillow. I had no time for quiet, contemplative thought so I accepted my own plea for rest.

You get to choose how to measure your “success” in the moment

I woke up frustrated because I wanted to get more done yesterday. It was 1:33 am when I came up for air. I lifted my neck and plunged it back into the pillow. Nothing I could do to change it so I surrendered back to deep sleep.

When I woke again I had overslept.

I got to choose again: berate myself or allow myself a pass. That’s when I came upon my friend Anne’s question which leads to my 3 Good Things. As you read my 3 things I invite you to consider yours.

Maybe in reading mine, you will see some of yours, reflected. That is my hope and prayer for you and for me, too.

Reflect on Your 3 Good Things Today

Here are mine:

  1. I love how ripple effects work. My friend Anne Stone Lafleur asked a question based on her Gift of Happiness website connection cards. I took that question and gave myself an assignment to “live it” and it shifted how I approached a task I have put off for far too long. Self-love, self-compassion and a vision of what is coming up for me all lined up through a couple pages of free writing that would not have been born if it had not been for the question she asked herself that I then asked of me. 
  2. I love how it feels to hug trees, today a eucalyptus.
  3. I love what I am in the midst of creating that includes, right now, me reclining in a bed that is made up with adorable flannel sheets with cats on them. I am writing this note and then, I will drink my tea, do day’s end writing and reading and it has become such a self nurturing time I feel new again.

Invitation to Fully Embrace Your Stories & Your Views

How will you make and remake your story from visiting here, today?

Maybe you will fall more deeply in love with your life or maybe you will feel a call into a new perspective, a slight shift or caveat.

Whatever is true for you, I hope you will take a moment to share with us your 3 Good Things from today – sometimes that will seem like too few and sometimes this will feel like too many. However and wherever you’re falling on that spectrum, proclaim something – it will improve your story to share it.

Thank you for being here!

Julie Jordan Scott is the Creator of the Radical Joy of Consistency Course which helps people practice consistency and completion daily in order to experience a more incredible life experience. She came to this conclusion after almost dying and coming back to true healing by writing 377 consecutive haiku… and a lot more along her way to building that streak! To find out more about this program, visit this link, here.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is The-Radical-Joy-of-Daily-Consistency.png

She has been a Life Purpose and Creativity Coach since 1999. She has taught workshops in college classrooms, hospitals, teleclasses and webinars with participants across the world.

Facebooktwitterpinterest

Sometimes Opting For Quiet Integration is the Best

by

My country went through a depth of experience yesterday I would not have imagined going through until it was happening. Today for most of the day I have been integrating my experience, even here from the West Coast, quietly and grounded, listening to my heart without influence from others.

Quiet is sometimes the best place to be.

It’s ok to go “dark” for a day. It is fine and often appropriate to not speak right away. That’s what I did yesterday. The reports were coming in from Washington, DC and I felt as if I was in a cocoon between my flannel sheets. With the horror I was seeing, I wasn’t feeling any good things. Permission isn’t something we need to ask for here in relationship to feeling, grieving, expressing.

In retrospect I may change my mind about the overall impact of what happened yesterday but right now, I’m not.

Right on Time is Sometimes Not on Time

So I am back, right on time, with a report from today – which happens to be the anniversary of the mother of one of my closest friends. 

What are My Quiet 3 Good Things on January 7, 2021?

  1. I honored myself and my rhythms today. I was intentional and didn’t feel as if I “had to” force myself into anything.
  2. I took action on chores I had been procrastinating about – cleaning out cabinets and clutter. 
  3. I’m trying the new app clubhouse for the first time today. I joined a conversation and I will be hosting my own room this evening. I am not sure how much I like it yet, but it is interesting to listen as I am doing busy work. 

What are Your 3 Good Things?

I would love to hear your 3 Good Things, today or tomorrow or whenever.

You may also be quiet, sad, grieve, complain or gripe.

It’s ok to go dark, even as we are consistently, radically joyful.

Julie Jordan Scott is the Creator of the Radical Joy of Consistency Course which helps people practice consistency and completion daily in order to experience a more incredible life experience. She came to this conclusion after almost dying and coming back to true healing by writing 377 consecutive haiku… and a lot more along her way to building that streak! To find out more about this program, visit this link, here.

She has been a Life Purpose and Creativity Coach since 1999. She has taught workshops in college classrooms, hospitals, teleclasses and webinars with participants across the world.

Facebooktwitterpinterest

Worry or Mindfulness: where do you stand?

by

I have a history of fear and worry, but in the past few years I have changed into a more mindful, trusting person. Today in my “Good things” assessment, my productivity is thanks to this more mindful me.

For those of you who don’t know, I currently house sit for a friend who primarily lives in the Bay Area. So what that means is my nights are spent away from my house. In the morning, sometimes I am in a rush to get out of here.

I love being here, but there are times when I am discombobulated and in a rush, even though this is where I do much of my grounding and launch my day in a forward direction.

This home is where mindful spiritual practices happen, day in and day out.

Today my daughter Emma asked me for a favor that requited my wallet. I could not say yes because I didn’t have my wallet. I suspected I left it in the home where I house sit, not the house where I spend my day.

What I knew was my wallet was missing, but I couldn’t give my energy to worrying about it – I had important work to get done!  Lives to impact for the greatest good. There was no way I would sacrifice the bigger benefit to fear and worry. If it had been stolen, it had been stolen. If it was safe, it was safe. I couldn’t control the facts, I could control my upset about whether I knew or not.

Bottom Line: Why Worry about Something You Can’t Control?

So I kick off my Good Thing list is….

  1. My wallet was on the bedside table at the house where I am house sitting! I was thrilled I bought a pair of shoes on-line this morning and inadvertently left my wallet here. It is now safely tucked away and there will be no shopping tomorrow.
  2. I am completely enjoying “Bel Canto” by Ann Patchett. I want to continue my goal of finishing a book a week AND I have so many great titles in my TBR (to be read) pile… I must be focused and disciplined and most importantly, enjoy the process.
  3. I had a fun, festive gathering with the women in the Coffee and Conversations group. Once again, I happily herded cats – and laughed and learned and connected deeply. 

BONUS! A fantastic phone call with my daughter, Katherine. I am so proud of her and so happy to report new position as the Solo Pastor at First Presbyterian Church in Sussex, NJ. I miss being close geographically to her, but I love being close to her emotionally.

Tell me: Do you usually worry or do you mindfully trust?

I have to ask, though – if your wallet was AWOL, would you have interrupted your work flow to chase it down, where you were pretty sure it was safely waiting for you?

Julie Jordan Scott is the Creator of the One Small Shift Course which helps people practice consistency and completion daily in order to experience a more incredible life experience. She came to this conclusion after almost dying and coming back to true healing by writing 377 consecutive haiku… and a lot more along her way to building that streak! To find out more about this program, visit this link, here.

She has been a Life Purpose and Creativity Coach since 1999. She has taught workshops in college classrooms, hospitals, teleclasses and webinars with participants across the world.

Facebooktwitterpinterest

When You Fall Short, Do This Instead of Giving Up

by

Instead of writing this on the evening of January 4, I am writing it on the morning of January 5. This is problematic because part of the reasoning behind writing these every day is to set me up for strong evening practices of mindful creativity.

Who decides what is a problem?

This morning when I wrote up to do my daily writing, I discovered a solution which I will put into place today, this evening, so I will follow through successfully.

Why am I telling you this?

I am telling you this because it is important for us to be in the habit of authentically and transparently speaking up and saying what is true and then letting go of our own concept of “failing” or “getting it wrong” whatever “it” may be.

Maybe “getting it wrong” is an important part of your process.

What sometimes happens is we don’t do what we said we wanted to do and we do and say nothing. We pretend none of it happened. Then that day nothing changes and nothing changes on the third day and then it is as if the desire never existed.

My night time spiritual practices are much better than they once were but they are far from perfectly executed. It takes practice and time for “perfect execution”. In fact, perfect execution is far from the point.

The point is to show up as best as you can and move forward, with love.

Three Good Things:

So now, on the morning after, I will happily share with you about yesterday.

  • I drove Samuel to work this morning, nice and early. He is loving the day shift and I am loving what it opens up for me. Ta-Da Tuesday is about to be re-invigorated!
  • I bought some adorable new flannel sheets. I love sliding into clean sheets – it is one of those simple pleasures that help me feel loved – probably because I loved the ritual of being tucked tightly into bed with stuffed animals when I was a little girl.
  • I doodled and drew in my art journal. I have been considering using art journaling for #The100DayProject but hadn’t completely decided. I am feeling like art journals are calling me back because #1) I enjoy them and #2) They are a different way of flexing my intuition which I haven’t used lately.

Art journaling will continue to be a blessing as will soft sheets & collaboration!

What are three good things in your life today so far?

Write them in the comments below or journal them, in any form.

Julie Jordan Scott is the Creator of the One Small Shift Course which helps people practice consistency and completion daily in order to experience a more incredible life experience. She came to this conclusion after almost dying and coming back to true healing by writing 377 consecutive haiku… and a lot more along her way to building that streak! To find out more about this program, visit this link, here.

She has been a Life Purpose and Creativity Coach since 1999. She has taught workshops in college classrooms, hospitals, teleclasses and webinars with participants across the world.

Facebooktwitterpinterest

This July: Cultivate Memories that Transform Your Life Experience

by

I started this year holding the intention for transformational memories. I would that intention has definitely come to fruition, but they came about in ways I wouldn’t necessarily have chosen to happen.

It is valuable to collect memories, especially the transformative ones - so that we may continue to return to them for their love filled and meaning - rich energy. Collecting them now in the middle of summer will help continue the power and add to the initiating intention.

What are transformational memories?

Memories tend to fall into several different categories: the mundane, the memories we want to forget, the bad memories that are burned into our psyche and the mountaintop memories – or big events we work to remember for later in great detail.

Transformative memories are those every day moments that make a lasting mark on who we were in the moment and who we are becoming, still.

Are transformational memories active gratitude, counting your blessings?

2020 may have many transformational memories for you that are certainly not mountaintop memories and they were also not mundane. This is evidence of the “unprecedented times” we keep hearing about and experiencing again and again and again.

Now we have crossed the bridge to 2021 and although the calendar has changed, we are still facing many of the challenges from before. This series is to stay focused on what moves us forward.

Building a creative streak to practice successful completion

It is also an example of a small “streak” or container to hold a 31 Day Experiment in Counting My Blessings everyday that also is a method of completion practice.

I am a believer in practices like this because it gives you a daily completion, so you get practice in what it feels like to accomplish something simple to do and significant to do everyday. It is nothing short of magical. 

Don’t believe it?

Try this for a week and tell me how you’re feeling.

Today in June I am revisiting – Three cool things I noted from January 3:

  1. Samuel started the day shift at his job. No more graveyard. From now on he will work conventional hours and I won’t get to bring his lunch to his bedroom door by special delivery every day. That is a sadness I will just get over.
  2. Katherine got a full-time church job! She will be the Solo Pastor at First Presbyterian Church in Sussex, NJ. I told her today I look forward to the day I can travel again and see her in action in her congregation! Update: In September, 2021 I will be moving to Sussex myself for a year to be close to Katherine and Donald AND experience an entirely different life. It will be a valuable experiment I never could have imagined when I set the intention for a year of transformative memories!
  3. I created a bunch of content for the week to come, ahead of time. “Getting ahead” always makes me happy – now I simply need to get better at batching – working on one task theme for a set amount of time. For example. An hour of making graphics. An hour of writing copy, an hour of scrubbing the kitchen. 

This process also helps me as a part of my evening writing practice, something I have wanted for a long time. As soon as I am done with this, I will do some writing in my notebook, some meditation and fall asleep.

The significance of revisiting recent (and not so recent) personal writing to mine for transformational memories.

I am revisiting this writing at the end of June, 2021 and have decided to begin this practice again for the month of July, 2021. To recap between January and now, I will touch base on some of what I have been experiencing.

I will share three transformative memories – and attempt to keep them succinct.

  1. My father died on April 18. From that moment, so many things happened and the memories have been very sad and also very filled with love.
  2. I learned the Valley Fever I have been carrying disseminated, which means it spread beyond my lungs. This could be very dangerous AND I have been receiving ongoing treatment AND I have never felt more confident in my ability to manage my health. I was filled with stress for a lot of time from January through whenever it was I had a biopsy-turned-drainage (I think in March? Since Dad died, a lot of time has had a very different meaning and context.)
  3. I have been getting my writing mojo back, slowly and surely. Poetry is back, working on my book projects is back, writing in my notebook daily is back. I realized in getting it back I was in quite a state of languishing for a long time. This is definitely transformative.

It is easier to see Transformational Memories from a distance, but what does naming 3 good things from any given day tell you?

I like to look at collecting transformative memories (and transformative memories-to-be like this: it is as if my future self and present self are having a party. Since my life in 2021 has been in a surprising uproar, there are so many times when I have said to myself with a lot of incredulity, “I am so grateful my past self was looking out for me!”

It is in the tiny, day to day things that the transformative memories happen. It is only from a distance that we can see what the whole picture looks like.

With that in mind, tell me:

What are 3 Good Things from your day? When July 1 hits, I will return here every day. I hope to see you here, too. This will be informal, flexible and fun.

Are you ready to count your blessings? Let us know in the comments!

Julie Jordan Scott is the Creator of the One Small Shift Course which helps people practice consistency and completion daily in order to experience a more incredible life experience. She came to this conclusion after almost dying and coming back to true healing by writing 377 consecutive haiku… and a lot more along her way to building that streak! To find out more about this program, visit this link, here.

She has been a Life Purpose and Creativity Coach since 1999. She has taught workshops in college classrooms, hospitals, teleclasses and webinars with participants across the world.

Facebooktwitterpinterest

3 Good Things: 2 January, 2021 Edition

by

Announcement about 3 Good Things in January 2021 May this year bring transformational memories

My friend Ghia taught me the importance of sharing 3 Good Things at the end of every day. At least until the end of January, I am borrowing her practice – a little bit of gratitude, a little bit of counting your blessings, and a lot bit of putting a smile on our collective faces.

Let’s count our blessings

the sun shines over the Kern Canyon wall. This could easily have been one of the 3 good things.
  1. A meeting with the community I am a part of hosted by Jennifer Louden called “The Oasis” – we planned our quarter together for about an hour. I had a fabulous time and might even dance the next time we have one of these things. I remember I used to dance during live streams which is dancing in front of strangers but somehow when a person I really respect suggests dancing, I back off. Weird – but hey, it was great.
  2. I read the same part of Julia Cameron’s book about active compassion towards myself. Active self compassion. There was a quote I really got, viscerally, that went like this: “Skepticism is rooted in fear, and fear is healed by compassion.” I sat there in bed, nodding. Compassion. Which leads me to think, “How do we heal systemic fear? Compassion.” Nodding more.
  3. I have gotten so much praise about the photo I posted here yesterday when I made it into my facebook cover photo. I had no idea people would like it so much.

Simple Gratitude, shared

What are 3 Good things from your life today? Share one or two or all three in the comments!

Julie Jordan Scott is the Creator of the One Small Shift Course which helps people practice consistency and completion daily in order to experience a more incredible life experience. She came to this conclusion after almost dying and coming back to true healing by writing 377 consecutive haiku… and a lot more along her way to building that streak! To find out more about this program, visit this link, here.

She has been a Life Purpose and Creativity Coach since 1999. She has taught workshops in college classrooms, hospitals, teleclasses and webinars with participants across the world.

Facebooktwitterpinterest

Discovering Uniquely, Wonderfully You

by

I’m re-reading Randy Pausch’s book “The Last Lecture.”

I am sad to report I didn’t remember much from it beyond his brick wall quote that goes like this: 

“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out; the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. The brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough.”

A brick wall image with the quote by Randy Pausch about why brick walls are here - the quote is also in the essay,.

Brick walls and the creative process

 I don’t remember him writing his thoughts  about his creative process or making of his famous lecture. I hadn’t realized a driving force behind his script came from asking himself what he saw as his personal uniqueness.

He didn’t want his lecture to be about his cancer and his pending death. That wasn’t unique to him, he mused. Instead, what made him unique was his approach to reaching his goals which came about because of who he was as a child.

I found myself recalling the many times I have asked people about their own uniqueness and an almost equal number of times people cannot put a finger on what makes them unique. They might share their circumstances – survivor of cancer, holder of a skillset they share with many other people, owner of an interesting turn of phrase or rare accented language.

All of those traits on their own are sared by others. 

The Challenge of Seeing Ourselves as Unique

A group of unique people are gathered, honoring the Margaret Mead quote about every person being unique and special.

What is unique about you includes how you look at life, specifically blended with the actions you have taken over your life. Your uniqueness adds perspective on any given subject: the pandemic, the recent election, where you live with whether you like crunchy or creamy peanut butter.

We are on the verge of a New Year. There is no other time so perfect for a fresh exploration of your uniqueness. 

Mix up some of your qualities and begin to see the narrative of your uniqueness rise up. I have started this process myself, but I realized as I started to make diagrams I needed more time for insights to rise up as well as using a variety of different strategies.

The first responses I list are usually very familiar and actually not very unique at all.  I’ve noticed the same pattern with my coaching clients: their first attempts may be lackluster and dull.

Take a piece of paper and write the qualities you possess. You don’t need to use a list format, you may instead use a mindmap or simply write words and doodle images in random placements.

Don’t immediately proclaim your uniqueness. Take a day or two to consider as many qualities as possible so that you may determine which are stand-out qualities. Think about the subjects you talk about that make people perk up and want to know more: sometimes it is these things which seem everyday and ordinary to use which are most fascinating to others.  Consider childhood scenarios where you were recognized as special by your teacher or peers or by a coach.

Uniquely me, in process. Where will it go? I am not sure AND it is so important to practice with different methods and processes.

Like Randy Pausch, I am going to look back into my memory for what made me feel alive as a child. Immediately I think of the “television network” I created in my basement, “WJAJ” where I had my own show – a cross between “The View” and “The Tonight Show” with one host and many guests (all portrayed at the time by me.

Be sure to jot down what comes up, too. Then step away and let your thoughts sit overnight. Return the next day to your list of qualities with fresh eyes.

What do you see now? What do you feel now?

Name and Claim Your Uniqueness

Amy Gentzler shares her story like this: “Only recently have I realized that being different is not something you want to hide or squelch or suppress.” 

Experiment with naming your uniqueness. Then leverage it to make a positive difference in the world. 

Guidance through life coaching would will help you gain clarity about what makes you unique as well as clarify your life purpose. I would be happy to hop on a phone or zoom call with you – simply go to my Facebook page and click on “Book Now” so we may arrange at time to connect. +

Julie JordanScott helps creative entrepreneurs transform from decent and “fine” into a shifted, remarkable when they choose to make one small shift to inspire a renewed life of fulfillment, hope, satisfaction and whatever their desire may be underneath their previously ordinary life.

Facebooktwitterpinterest

Longing for “The Look”: Encouraging Your Growth

by

 I remember when I saw the newer version of the Parent Trap and my favorite moment in the entire movie is how the Dad looked at his first wife (the twin’s Mom) when he was in a romantic clutch with his much younger fiancé.

 I said to myself, “I want someone to look at me like that.” I would feel encouraged to be the best version of myself if someone looked at me like that.” With more reflection, I discovered it isn’t simply about being looked at “like that” from a romantic perspective, but being seen like that from a human perspective.

Being seen as in – accepted, appreciated, and valued, simply by showing up and being yourself. I’m reminded of how I look at newborns or people I am excited to meet for the first time. It is about the possibilities within that person and the pure joy of their existence. This is being seen.

What is it about being seen from transparency and love?

 I could stop this blog post right here and say, “My son looks at me similarly, with pure love in his eyes,” and as being a mother is the most important work I do that is definitely encouraging.

I might  say, “It is not in the way someone looks at me it is in the way I look at them that counts.”

 That isn’t entirely authentic, though, because…well, it is THAT look I am talking about, not just a lackadaisical, “Hey how’s it going you’re looking great and mighty convenient” kind of look I grew accustomed to for much of my life.

When in doubt, ask advice about how to be seen from a friend

 I remember talking to a friend, Adam,  several months ago about how my vision of God is like a dear, encouraging friend helping me to fly a kite. He is running alongside me, coaching me and up the kite goes.

 This would be miraculous because, top secret confession, I have never in all my years been able to get a kite to fly on my own, even with a human side coaching me.

 Adam reflected back to me about some of those things I have accomplished being LIKE flying that kite to God.

When your friend says “take an assessment”, take an assessment to be seen

He is my “kite flying buddy” for other things I have managed to maneuver. If you talk to the average Jane, I have done a lot that many would have thought was impossible.

 Adam said God would look in the way I longed to be seen. Reality check: God sees you and God hears you and furthermore, God is pleased with you.

 Well, Adam didn’t know my fascination was actually how Dennis Quaid looked at his movie first wife, but I knew exactly what he meant when he said that about my kite flying God.

 I can close my eyes and see that exact look. I can embrace being fully seen and heard by God and by other people.

I’m going to hold onto this feeling for a while, because it is definitely encouraging – beyond words encouraging, to think of what I have accomplished that I might not have noticed before. It is also encouraging to know I may indeed find people who will see me as I deserve to be seen now that I understand the concept my clearly.

Now it is your turn: take your “being seen” assessment

Here is a task that would definitely help us in times of feeling “less than”: crating a list of accomplishments others have praised us for completing. We might not recognize the quality of what we have achieved until we fully acknowledge other people giving us “that look” via authentic, heart-felt praise.

If you can’t remember off the top of your head, it might be a fun – albeit courageous job to ask some of the people closest to you what you have done that inspires them or encourages them to be their best selves.

Remember, God is seeing you as a success even now. My bet is your friends and loved ones see you as more of a success than you do.

Tell me in the comments, what is something you did for which you received encouraging compliments?

https://www.facebook.com/groups/bridgetothenewyear/

Join “Bridge to the New Year” – We are a connected community of creatives in a private facebook group. Weekly check in’s, inspiration and an end of the year guided 30 day experience are our capstones. Join us to stay in the flow now and turn on the intensity at year’s end and in the meantime we strengthen one another’s vision everyday. Click here to join Bridge to the New Year!

Portrait of Speaker, Creative Life Coach, Writer and Mom Extraordinaire, Julie JordanScott

Julie JordanScott lives in Bakersfield, California in a house too small for quarantine life. She leads discussions on Zoom and is polishing her most recent memoir and some poetry for soon-to-be publication. If you would like her to speak to your group over ZOOM until travel is available again, she would be happy to talk to you about that OR maybe you are looking for a slightly quirky, very open hearted, compassionate and tender Creative Life Coach. She would love to speak with you soon at 661.444.2735

Facebooktwitterpinterest

10 Top Tips to Expand Your Self-Acceptance

by

A woman looking in a mirror smiling at herself is a model of the article, 10 Ways to Gain Self Acceptance by Julie JordanScott

You may be saying to yourself, “I accept myself. I love myself! I don’t need this!” and the data shows 70% of women do not believe they are enough, even if they say they feel self-love and acceptance.

These 10 Top Tips to Gain Self Acceptance along with the provided action steps will increase the self-acceptance you feel now and amplify your self esteem so you will have better results in all your goals and intentions.

Now is the time to align your thoughts with actions.

1. Set (and re-set) your intention to accept yourself daily. Remember acceptance is “the action or process of being received as adequate or suitable” and make that your marker. It doesn’t mean bright-shiny-A++ it means somedays a C grade for yourself is more than satisfactory.

ACTION: For extra self-insurance, write a short paragraph in the note section of your phone – a sort of “Text to Yourself!” as you start your day.

2.  Be open to the realities of “negativity” in your life. You will make less than wonderful choices, you will fail, people will disappoint you. This doesn’t mean you are inherently bad, it means sometimes – like the rest of the world, your choices aren’t the best. It means sometimes you will fall flat on your face and stay there a while. It means we don’t always surround ourselves people who are the best for us.

ACTION: Assess who you are spending the most time with both in person but also via texting, facetime and zoom sessions. Are these the people who have your best interests at heart?

3. Be willing to face your what you are afraid of by practicing standing up to your smaller fears first. Once I did a “do something brave every day for 31 days” personal challenge. It was life changing.

ACTION: Create a daily check in system at the end of the day to assess how you showed bravery throughout the day.

Which of these action steps will you take to improve your self acceptance?

4. Release the obsession (or insistence) of perfection. Become a “recovering perfectionist” with small improvements over time. Perfection leads to procrastination and it may lead to losing friends due to being overly judgmental of other people, too – which leads to loneliness which leads back to lowered self-esteem which completes the circle back to the inability to accept oneself.

ACTION: Take note of when you get blocked by perfectionism. Literally, write it down. Begin eliminating the block by taking the first small action towards your goal without the circumstances being perfect.

5. Recognize what is within your ability to control. In 2020, there have been a lot of ordinary activities (before 2020) that we cannot directly impact. Sometimes we have made tweaks because of this. When we recognize the difference between what we control and what we don’t control, we will feel better – and become more and more creative as a result. 

ACTION: When you feel upset or angry ask yourself, “Is this something within my control or not?” If not, let it go.

6. Be as compassionate with yourself as you are with others. As a bonus, be even more compassionate with yourself than you are with others. 

Affirmations & Mantras help improve self talk.

ACTION: Create a list of mantras or affirmations to use when something disappoints you or if someone criticizes you. Repeat “I am enough” or your favorite scripture. Make it a joy to collect these when you are in a good space so you will be ready.

7. Prepare for the voice of the inner critic by having a set of affirmations to repeat. You may also memorize scripture or quotes from people you admire. Bonus: at the end of the day, journal the inner critic’s relentless dialogue with an open mind to see if there is a lesson hidden underneath the lecture. If so, thank the inner critic and dismiss her. 

ACTION: Believe it or not, your inner critic can become an ally. What is she protecting you from? Is there any truth to what she is pointing out to you? Thank her, fix it and move along.

8. Build a network of support. Maybe, like some of us, you do not have a supportive family to rely upon. Pay attention to the people you share a natural affinity for and invite them for lunch or coffee to determine if there is a mutual interest in being supportive to each other. Remember that: mutual network of support. Mutuality is a beautiful thing!

ACTION: Check out meet up groups and specialized active facebook groups & events.

9. Begin taking notes of your essential goodness. Educator BF Skinner is famous for his “Catch ‘em Being Good” approach to behavior change. How long has it been since you have purposefully caught yourself being good? Why not start today? Build your list of essentially good moments and aim to catch at least 5 a day. 

ACTION: Here’s one: you are proving your essential goodness in reading – and using what you read – in this blog post! 

10. Regularly check in with your Highest Self: I use journaling to start this process. I have even named my Highest Self simply because I think it is fun! Your Highest Self is who you are at your core, without negative judgments, perhaps who you imagined you would become when you were a child… who got tangled up in the life that happened when you were busy making other plans (as John Lennon might have said.)

ACTION: Journal using the “Empty Chair” technique. Sit in one chair as your “usual self” and ask your “Highest Self” a question. Move to the second seat and reply as your highest Self. It might sound hokey AND it works.

Before you leave, think a moment about what action steps you will try first.

Now you have not only have the way, you have succinct, direct actions to take in order to increase your level of self-acceptance. Once you grow in self-acceptance and enjoy yourself enough to call yourself “your own best friend” you will naturally attract more exceptionally wonderful people into your life.

Note in the comments what action step you will start with as you begin to feel better about yourself – and act in alignment.

This blog post came from a prompt from 100 Days of Wonderful Words, a service of the private facebook group, the Word Love Writing Community. Join us to be inspired with your blogging, social media posts, fiction writing, etc – the prompts are specific and across different genre.


Julie JordanScott, the Creative Life Midwife, is a writer, a poet performer, a Creativity Coach, A Social Media Whiz and a Mother of three. One of her greatest joys include loving people into their greatness they just aren’t quite able to realize yet. 

Facebooktwitterpinterest

Things That Weren’t on My Bucket List that I May Now Add and Cross Off: Part 1

by

Years ago I attended a conference where I heard Mark Victor Hansen of “Chicken Soup for the Soul” speak. He told us all to make a list of 100 Life Goals. I dutifully made a list. It wasn’t called a Bucket List then because the movie hadn’t been made yet.

This particular item was not on my list of 100 Goals.

I wasn’t expecting it to happen. I don’t know how I could have possibly planned for it.

I was mad, after all, very mad. Angry because the business, the service department where I had purchased my car, obviously didn’t care about its customers, how dare they endanger me. How dare they?

The gentleman told me the usual company line, “We can’t enforce, we can only request.”

I continued pacing and waited as he turned over the paperwork.

Look, this isn’t a joke. This is real.” I said.

“I don’t want to be person #220,000 or whatever the count is now. I’m high risk, I hardly go into any businesses for exactly this reason.”

He nodded and told me I could wait in the indoor waiting room – inside the stuffy, no-air-circulating temporary building or I could wait outside.

I motioned for the outdoor waiting area and added, “And I want to know where I can go next time to get my car serviced. I don’t want to come back here, to this place where people don’t take this seriously.”

I chose to wait outside, even with the temperature in the 90’s

and less than optimal air quality. At least I wasn’t risking my life in the short run. I wrote and I read. I calmed down.

I received a text message informing me I would get another text when my car service was complete and to text my service writer if I had any questions. The message was pleasant enough. I kept my head down and focused on anything but the sweat on my forehead.

The next time I looked up, I thought I saw my car parked and ready to go. I pulled out my phone and texted my service writer, “Is my car finished? I feel foolish because I don’t recognize it yet.” and added a smiley face.

“Yes,” texted the service writer. “I am just finishing the paper work,”

When he approached, he gave me a very thorough report on my car, like a pediatrician would give to a nervous mother. He added, “I also talked to my co-worker about what he did.” I nodded, trying not to be bitter. “He said he was hot…” and I shook my head and probably rolled my eyes.

“And…” he continued, “I wanted to let you know I take this very seriously.

“I take this seriously because… because I lost my brother.”

I looked across the table at him and heard a sound emanate from deep within my gut. “You lost your brother?” I asked, as if I hadn’t heard. “To covid?” His watering eyes and nodding head were met with my disbelief, including the ancient, universal language moan in disbelief. “Oh my God, I am so sorry I am so sorry.” I said as I cried.

We sat outside the service department as if we were in a bubble. I was sobbing, not worried about anyone hearing me say over and over again, “Oh my God, I am so sorry, I am so sorry.”

We had further conversation for only a few moments that felt like an eternity before he got up and went back to work.

He got up and went back to work.

I stayed in the same space, rocking slightly, like I would if I was comforting a baby, continuing to grieve for someone I never knew.

I eventually got up and started driving toward home, but I pulled over to sit, just sit. I received a text. “Thank you for the conversation.”

I cannot say I know why I am put into such situations though I will say I am grateful I was able to give someone space to speak and be heard.

What a risk he took to speak to me.

I am so grateful he took that risk. “I take this very seriously,” he said.

In those moments we became more than service writer to customer, we became fellow members of the human community. We became a place for sacred listening, a family of two.

Space was held for caring and empathy and grief.

My life will never be the same.

Julie JordanScott, the Creative Life Midwife, is a writer, a poet performer, a Creativity Coach, A Social Media Whiz and a Mother of three. One of her greatest joys include loving people into their greatness they just aren’t quite able to realize yet. 

Julie is also the Creative Director of the Word Love Writing Community. Join us now to invigorate your writing – no matter what it is you are writing – social media posts, journaling, fiction, memoir – there will be prompts and other people there to support you. Right now, we are finishing out 2020 with 100 Days of Wonderful Words. We look forward to seeing you there.

Facebooktwitterpinterest