Creative Life Midwife

Inspiring Artistic Rebirth

Art Journaling Plus Writing Follow Up = Insights Galore

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Sometimes art journaling and art making lead to surprising word combinations I enjoy taking more deeply with journaling of the more conventional kind: free flow writing.

Look what happened here:

The phrase “compassionate punishment” has continued to sit with me. If we were sentient beings in the same room, compassionate punishment would be sitting in a fashionable knock-off of a mid-century modern arm chair and I would be here, in my writing corner recliner wondering how long it will take me to feel better this morning after a difficult night.

When I feel like this, I hear voices of the past, like these:

Blond woman at Moms Group at church or was it, perhaps Bible Study, “Sometimes you just have to get on with it,” when I spoke about depression and loneliness.

I translated that into “Don’t talk about your feelings here at church. People won’t like you. Stay away.” My compassionate self-punishment was to not engage vulnerably with that particular woman again. I found others people to interact with and chose to stay away from that with her even though I would be happy to see her again.

Speaking of staying away, I… lost whatever image I meant to portray here.

I lean back in my recliner and decide which portion of this brief writing to leave unspoken.

“Earth is forgiveness school” Anne Lamott’s words and memory continues to haunt me.

I typed those words and a sweet bird sits on the brand of the tree that lives in my yard. Hop up, hop down.

“Earth is forgiveness school.” The bird, a vision of grace, reminded me of the love surrounding me, always.

Most recently, someone who was once my friend said to me not once, not twice, “Are you happy now, Julie?” in another moment of time that is scorched into my head. It literally took me about an hour to figure out what she was talking about, but I knew immediately the intent was for me to feel ashamed.

This morning I spoke with a friend who described me as grouchy. “I am allowed to feel what I feel,” I told him. “plus I wouldn’t call authentic feelings grouchy.”

Thankfully investing an hour or so in constructive conversation was exactly the medicine I needed to feel better. I can see the sentient-being-compassionate-punishment armchair has fallen asleep for now.

All’s well.

= = = =

The next #5for5BrainDump session: always free with miraculous creative breakthroughs, has been scheduled! August 21 – August 25 we will be creating/journaling/writing along the themes of Starting Fresh: Your Creative Rebirth. To receive emails about the free session details as well as a weekly tips-and-tricks note from Julie, please sign up (yes, always free) here. 

 

 

 

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Let’s Nurture One Another Today

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I’m the stubborn non-walker

I think I was a nurturer in the womb.

I became a nurturer most definitely after my brother was born when I was not yet fourteen months old. I hadn’t elected to walk by then, waiting until I was sixteen months old to walk because I was so “nurture hungry.”

Perhaps this is part of the reason I don’t usually expect nurturing and yet I love it so much.

Last week at my story circle we “wrote” an improvisational piece about “our other mothers.” These are the people who take care of us, who may reach out to us when we need some tenderness or caring guidance. Each woman in the circle contributed one single line to the story.

I kicked it off saying. “Once upon a time, there was a middle aged woman who always felt comforted when someone covered her lovingly with a blanket.”

Such a simple act yet so heavenly.

So motherly.

So nurturing.

When care taking is offered and received with love, nurturing is a natural outpouring. It isn’t something we think about necessarily, it just happens.

When we become nurturers, we teach others to nurture us as well. It is like Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “That which we are, we shall teach, not voluntarily, but involuntarily.”

We show love and nurturing when we show up, when we notice, when we choose to put someone else’s needs at least as high as our own.

Nurturing is not a gender thing, it is an intentional love thing.

When I grade papers for students who haven’t yet mastered English, I focus on their strengths first before I critique their weaknesses. They are born with a different language and learn English as adults. I aim to nurture them into better speakers and readers and communicators. If I focused on what was wrong, I am concerned they would end their process prior to a positive completion. I choose to be a nurturer.

Nurturing isn’t only for people in “helping” professions, it is for all of us.

When I originally wrote this, Emma was preparing for her senior prom. It was the next weekend and she had the dress and the shoes. Next was the final prep including a plan for her hair and makeup. The Saturday before, a friend was at our house, helping her to get her make up just right. Some people might say this is over the top, that a seventeen-year-old girl should take care of it all herself.

I see it differently: making a fuss over her means I value her and want her to feel valued as well.

As a parent, nurturing a child’s sense of value and worth is one of the most important things we can do. How many adults do you know who don’t feel valued or esteemed? Ask your friends about their level of confidence. Their responses might surprise you.

As parents, nurturing goes beyond providing food, clothing and shelter. Nurturing includes compliments, redirection and teaching your child to make painful and important choices.

This morning I went to coffee at one of my favorite local haunts. The clerk told me I looked cheerful today. I though I looked warn out. My hair in a ponytail, wearing a t-shirt and capris, I didn’t think I looked like anything except my busy mommy role.

She took a moment to compliment me “You look chipper today!” and I took a moment to hear her and receive her words.

In doing so, we were both nurturing one another.

Nurturers make the world a better place.

Who have you nurtured today?

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Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. 

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Check out her social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.

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Create Your Own Retreat: Whether You Have an Hour, a Weekend or 5 Minutes a Day!

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What prevents you from experiencing the positive experiences of a sacred or creative retreat?

What I hear most often is “I don’t have the time” or “I can’t afford to go…”

Can you imagine another option?

Watch this short video for ideas to use right now.

Next week we’re creating a Virtual Retreat with #5for5BrainDump. This is your perfect chance to try out what you’ve seen on the video!

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Today, I am choosing peace. What will you choose?

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Today I choose to be at peace.

I have had too much anxiety flowing through my blood lately. I cannot do that anymore. Today I choose to be at peace.

I am no longer willing to allow self-destructive thought patterns to get in the way of my serenity.

Today I choose to be at peace.

I remember visiting Canyon de Chelly with my children: a favorite place for spiritual reawakening and profound joy, a place I have not visited nearly enough.

Today, I choose to be at peace.

When I revisited photos from our visit, I don’t look very peaceful and I wonder what was happening in my heart at the time. Perhaps my love of travel and my children was overshadowing the fear that is sometimes a companion when I am traveling as the lone adult, being the responsible one, being the guide the Sherpa, the tour guide, the doctor, the negotiator the solid rock – that is a lot, agreeably so when it is looked at and examined.

And the trip, though rocky in moments, was a success – filled with primarily positive memories.
Today, I choose to be at peace.

I hear a train whistle in the distance, I feel my heart warm in my chest. Today, I choose to be at peace.

What do you choose to be today? Practice engaging with your choice by writing for 5 minutes, first, repeating your choice as I did here, and allowing your pen or pencil or fingers on the keyboard to create word flow for that tiny slice of time.

Miracles live there – in your 5 minutes of writing flow, the #5for5BrainDump.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via #5for5BrainDump, livestream broadcasts, creativity playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session or to request she speak at your next event, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

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Tell Your Stories: The World is Waiting…..

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This was originally written as a #5for5BrainDump style piece of writing. As often happens when we allow free flow to have its way, some powerful words flooded through. I did not edit so please excuse grammatical and spelling errors. Around here we stand by “process is the new perfection.” (polishing comes, later).

I was feeling nervous and overwhelmed by the process of re-orientation after a whirlwind out-of-town trip. Writing centered me.

Timer set and…. the writing begins.

I could so easily get overwhelmed and I am not going to. I am staying present. I am writing. I am remembering. I am writing as I am remembering and staying present.

This is where I find the gold dust and the stories that are most important to be told find their way to the forefront and because I am taking a mere five minutes to write, the words find their way through my fingers onto the page and I grow in trust.

Right here, right now and you are witnessing it.

The world is waiting for your stories. Right now in Paducah, Poughkeepsie and Paris there are women sitting at their computers feeling slightly asleep and your exact story is the light they have been looking for even though neither of you know it.

Last week my new friend Belen said to me, “Whenever I talk to a person who is down I think, ‘I need to introduce this person to Julie. Julie would make this person feel better…. Because every time I am with you I feel better.”

This was like a symphony playing in my ears personally for me. Belen was just speaking from her heart and she gave me such a gift in reflecting back to me what my stories have created for her. Feeling better. Me, showing up, telling my stories via a writing workshop and paving the way for her to tell her stories first on the page and then… beyond – makes her feel better, makes her world better and echoes out… everywhere she goes because….

I took the time out to tell my story. I got vulnerable and offered myself via a writing workshop. Why? Because I knew someone out there was calling me. In that case, it was someone named Belen. Next, it may be someone named… YOU who is writing or speaking or livestreaming or blogging… for someone specific to you that you don’t even know yet.

The world is waiting for you. Take action. 5 minutes. That’s all it takes. 5 minutes + you = miracles.

And the timer goes off and I sign off….

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via #5for5BrainDump, livestream broadcasts, creativity playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session or to request she speak at your next event, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

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A is for Ada: Literary Grannies from A to Z/2018 #atozchallenge

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Please welcome Ada Lovelace, the first purely STEM writer to grace the Literary Grannies canon.

Ironically she is the daughter of 19th Century rockstar poet, Lord Byron, who she never met. She was entranced by the man whose portrait hung covered in her mother’s home, but her mother was so consumed with not wanting her daughter to be a fanciful poet, she hired tutors in mathematics in order to distract her daughter’s possibly poetic mind.

Ada instead created a fanciful flying machine, meticulously designed with her brilliant mathematical (and my best guess also lyrical mind).

Her mother worried needlessly about Ada, who teamed up with Charles Babbage who devised the plans for “The Analytical Machine” – a general purpose computer. Ada saw the applications for the Analytical machine could go much further than computation and she published the first algorithm and instructions for how to use it with more depth.

Ada is the first STEM writer to appear among Literary Grannies and the first since I stared CreativeLifeMidwife.com.

Her full name was Augusta Ada King-Noel, Countess of Lovelace. She was born December 12, 1815 and died November  27, 1852

Writing Prompt: Think back to what your mother hoped for you when you were a child? How does that differ from who you are now (or how is it the same)? Write about it – take 5 minutes and write, free flow style. 

Julie has participated in the A to Z Blog Challenge for several years and is thrilled to be back, once again with Literary Grannies. Follow here throughout April for blog posts featuring women of literary history along with a daily writing prompt that reflects each featured writer.

Julie Jordan Scott is the Creative Life Midwife: a writing coach who specializes in inspiring artistic rebirth for those who may have forgotten the pure joy of the creative process. She offers individual creativity coaching as well as creating individualized programs for businesses and groups in the form of workshops, webinars and more. Contact her at 661.444.2735 for immediate assistance with facilitation, speaking or experiencing an enriched life now.

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Stream of Consciousness Sunday: So Be It, Yes, Amen!

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Stream of Consciousness Sunday used to be a normal part of my Sunday Morning. Various bloggers I knew started them up and off our words ran, five minutes at a time, and was actually a sort of conduit or foreshadowing for #5for5BrainDump. This morning as I prepare to start another week long adventure in #5for5 I decided to clear my head with some freewriting.

Here is what came from it letting my words loose without any forethought or edting. Just writing. No wrongs, simply words on the page, writing.

“Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door. ” 
Coco Chanel

I listen to fiddles and classic energetic celtic music.

Emma was frightened by the binaural beats music last night and I didn’t want to frighten her. I am writing in my corner, in my recliner, in a position I haven’t used for months. It feels good.

I sat to write about how to use my time most productively today.

I don’t want to waste it: time that is. Emma comes back and starts to do a contra dance, by herself, and I am glad she is happy, because when she isn’t happy I get plugged in and start feeling miserable, too. I thought of going to church but on this day – oddly enough – I want to stay home.

Katherine is preaching today, or more accurately did preach. She is seeking a position with a church 3,000 miles away from me. I wish I was closer. Her husband is most likely preaching in his church, separate from her and she is comfortable with this. I don’t know that I would be I so value the presence and applause from those closest to me.

(This is a weakness of mine – this chronic hunger for approval and something I have been working on in rewriting my narrative.)

Back to the question.

Time. Best use of. Not beating on walls thinking beating on a wall will make a door appear because it won’t unless it does. Like turning a wardrobe into a forest or a candlestick into a guy named Lumiere who lightens up the darkness.

Best use of time: focus on planning for the week and cleaning up messes still left from last week.

I see a man jog by my house, he is slightly off focus, looking at something in my neighbors yard.

I had two dreams early this morning that are slightly distracting me but not.

My five minutes are up.

Lumiere, lighten my wall banging and ask my dreams to settle in behind my conscious thoughts so I can simultaneously collaborate with them while I get my tasks ticked off my list.

Amen and amen. So be it and yes.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She created the process #5for5BrainDump that has birthed books, breakthroughs and many more livestream broadcasts. Participate in this process via livestream – to check the current schedule visit #5for5HQ

She is also a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

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Free Yourself From Banishment: Express. Strengthen. Heal. Awaken.

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“Each time I express myself with writing, I get stronger. I heal more. I awaken to what is true.”

I wrote today’s affirmation, in cursive, on an art background book page and what I heard was, “look at how pretty those cursive r’s are. You made them. They’re lovely.”

This awareness negates one of my early outer critic stories that in the past has prevailed and kept me from writing. Miss Pizarro said, “You will never make your “R’s” right. What is wrong with you?”

Miss Pizarro, if she is still alive, would probably be very disturbed about the lack of cursive writing instruction in schools.

As for me, I love the feeling of writing in cursive, how it feels to create the loops – and I love that as I am growing in healing through my personal narrative writing, I am releasing these long-time curses – these long time periods of banishment.

Here’s what happens with the whole banishing scenario:

I am the one who has locked myself into my cell of separation. No one else did that. Other people may have said the words, they may have been the ones who ignited the hurt feelings AND it is I who walked through the door marked “Go away, worthless one” not them.

Some might say I am victim blaming myself.

Keep listening and hear me out, please.

Just as I am the one who locked myself out of the world and into banishment, I am the one who is now setting myself free. I am the one who is choosing an active trust and then actually taking the steps rather than talking about taking the steps.

I am the one who is putting the pieces in place like stepping one stepping stone to the next, one big boulder in the river after another. I am the one lifting my foot and propelling my weight forward. I may seek help and a hand and more than a moment or two of solo prayer or quiet and ultimately just like I was the one who locked myself in, I am the one who is setting myself free.

There are people who reflect my wonder back at me who are helpful beyond words: many of whom have been beside me – even at a distance – for close to twenty years.

I recall their words of affirmation and as I step out from banishment, I hear them even more clearly. I tune into the truth within the love in their commentary. Rather than Miss Pizarro with her, “You’ll never…. Be right. What’s wrong with you?” I hear “Julie’s work  is better than (huge personal growth guru)” and “It is because of Julie I am a writer,” and “Your work changed my life.” And “It is because of who Julie is” and “Follow Julie, your future self will thank you.”

This is an exploration of self via free flowing personal narrative. I’m using the “5for5BrainDump” model which grants a person the gift of 5 minutes of timed writing to dump whatever comes onto the page without editing, forethought or judgment. What appears on the page and out of the rambling mind is remarkable.

These thoughts are posted unedited and will occasionally include an extra session or two to get to the depth the person feels necessary. Sometimes, the person (in many cases myself) backs away from the writing because… it is uncomfortable, she feels like something is about to crack open or she becomes bored and drifts away momentarily.

It is important to give license to stop and continue, stumble and continue, rant and scream and cry… and continue. This continuing is where the transformation happens.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist  whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

 To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

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Take Time to Allow Others the Space to Speak into the Silence

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In yesterday’s writing, I mentioned almost off-handedly about a version of me who hides in the closet, praying she won’t be found.

I remind myself of my coaching clients who will wait until the very end of the session to say the most important thing, the whatever-it-was-that-needed-to-be-said-all-along important “thing.”

I imagine in their minds it is a gift (or perhaps a fire, a monster, a treasure,  an enormous neon lightbulb, a map) between us only visible to them.

Maybe that is how I would be best in making friends with that little girl, hiding in the closet. Recognizing the gift sitting in between us> Perhaps I am meant to  patiently sit with her as she gains comfort in being with me again.

Have I mentioned to you my background of working in mental health?

Years ago I spent five years working  a Deputy Conservator: in some places the title for this is “Public Guardian” which set me apart from mental health clinicians – I didn’t have to abide by the same “stand apart” sort of guidelines I understood them to have.

I was as close to a family member an employee might be.

One of my favorite clients was a woman who had schizoaffective disorder. This is a combination of schizophrenia and bi-polar disorder. She wound up in the hospital after an episode where she refused to eat or drink because she believed her food and water were being poisoned.

She often spend most of her time in bed, isolated.

One day I went to visit her in the hospital and I simply lowered myself to the floor – butt on the cold linoleum floor, back against the wall.  I said “I’m here with you, in case you want to talk.”

And I sat there on the floor, looking out the window across the room. There was no view – just bricks from the other part of the county hospital. It was quiet and peaceful. I had no expectations for the visit, I just thought she might isolate herself not because she had nothing to say but because she felt safe there. I wanted her to feel safe with me, so I joined her in her safe place and took a position of respect toward her safety.

Something in that “no questions, I’m just here stance” opened her up to me. She talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and talked.

I found out more in that visit (and yes, I stayed seated on the cold linoleum floor for the entire conversation) than any of her clinical workers had I believe because I specifically didn’t ask questions.

I was just there with her, patiently waiting. I was able to advocate for her better after that because I had been patient and waited for her to speak and be heard. That silence spoke love to her.

My brother John never mastered language like other people. We spent hours together in silence and yet in that silence so much love was spoken. He inadvertently prepared me for silent love.

When we were the only two children at home while our older three siblings were at school we were together in companionable silence. At my parents fiftieth wedding anniversary party I sought his companionship when I got overwhelmed by the hub bub. We sat in companionable silence and then joined the others, together. As he was dying, I would visit him in his hospital room. He had a tracheotomy for nine months and was unable to speak with conventional language, yet we still spoke in silent love.

All this is to say, the little girl who has been hiding in the closet may have been waiting for me amidst the many episodes of my life to take the time to be quiet with her, to love her into being comfortable enough to speak.

To love HER into being comfortable enough to speak, I am actually loving MYSELF into being comfortable enough to speak.

This is an exploration of self via free flowing personal narrative. I’m using the “5for5BrainDump” model which grants a person the gift of 5 minutes of timed writing to dump whatever comes onto the page without editing, forethought or judgment. What appears on the page and out of the rambling mind is remarkable.

These thoughts are posted unedited and will occasionally include an extra session or two to get to the depth the person feels necessary. Sometimes, the person (in many cases myself) backs away from the writing because… it is uncomfortable, she feels like something is about to crack open or she becomes bored and drifts away momentarily.

It is important to give license to stop and continue, stumble and continue, rant and scream and cry… and continue. This continuing is where the transformation happens.

 Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist  whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

 To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

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Spiraling Up, Higher: An Unexpected and Glorious Reward from Putting Words on the Page

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Yesterday I wrote this:

So I sit back in my chair and listen to my body.

I remember being so swept up in how lovely the attention felt, especially directed at what I was enjoying as a part of this adventure we took together. This was magical, I thought, this was intellectual and spiritual and nature oriented and heart expanding.

Today, I sat back to write more, to write again. A lot happens in life OFF the page when we allow our words to flow through us onto the page, freely.

This morning as I was driving home I had a distinctive feeling in my body the letting go process had been effective.

I thought about the circumstances that yesterday had been perplexing and still edged with freckles of discomforted and sadness. This morning, it was as if the frayed parts and the scabs had healed or if not healed, there was no pain associated anymore.

This isn’t unlike the melanoma cancer scar on my face which I don’t think about much anymore beyond it just being there and occasionally warranting an explanation when brave people just meeting me ask about it.

In sitting with my experience this week and being brave enough to write it and speak it – not in great detail but naming it with boldness and anger and energy other than romanticized notions of lost love I was able to move through it in ways I wanted to in the past and somehow never was able to get there.

I would get close – so close – and then put my hands down by my sides again. I would reach toward resolution and integration, and that would frighten me so I would stop.

Here is a biggie: I would stop so that I wouldn’t forget the good. I would stop critiquing or standing up to say “Hey, this was bad” because the sweet was such a gift I didn’t want to forget how that great stuff felt.

Ironically, if that not-so-big-bad wolf was having a conversation with me right now, he would claim what he was here to teach me was to only remember the good because that is what is important.

I haven’t forgotten the pain.

I haven’t forgotten the forcefulness claimed as play or the rules based never according to what was mutually decided _ I have simply taken away the power they once held.

Why is this a significant victory?

Because in integrating the power of these circumstances back into my intentional life narrative, I reclaim what was taken from me not consentually, but by a destructive force claiming itself as healing.

Monday I sat at this very same desk with so much anger I very easily could have broken things – or people’s spirits – from spite and the ruthful destructiveness of abhorrence on fire.

Less than 48 hours later, I am able to reclaim my power over the aspects of me I had given over and continue this process with confidence.

I’m not quite able to translate into words the peace this has created in me, but it’s coming. It’s coming soon.

Stay tuned.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist  whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

 To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

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