Bridge to the New Year – Page 2 – Creative Life Midwife

Best Social Event: “I Wasn’t Feeling Well Emotionally, So I Declined”

December 11, 2018 by jjscreativelifemidwife

Yesterday Facebook started making video year-end recaps for its users and I was slightly surprised most of my images they posted were family, family and more family. Extended family and my children with one photo of an outing with friends, one photo of the play I was in, and one photo about my social media work.

Add to that surprise and today’s Bridge to the New Year prompt and another reality clunked me over the head: my social life has taken a nose dive in the past couple years but this year quite markedly.

What was the best party or social engagement I attended? What was the most significant?

Looking back, I didn’t attend many parties – in fact, I didn’t attend any at all after a Super Bowl Party – except for my parent’s 65th anniversary party. For someone who used to attend several parties a month, this is one of those big red flags that sometimes remains invisible and reminds me why year end recaps that cover a wide variety of themes are so important.
Wait: I stop myself. I did attend Katherine’s ordination and there was a party involved.

There were, however, two parties I attended in Bakersfield: a book club related Super Bowl party. I attended a first birthday party of a precious little boy.

I don’t remember invitations flooding in, either. I remember one birthday party invitation, but I wasn’t feeling well emotionally so I declined.

That. Is. It. In. a. nutshell.

“I wasn’t feeling well emotionally so I declined.”

My task for 2019 is to challenge my “not feeling well” through creating context so that I will be included, so I won’t be isolated. I have made some new connections locally and have been asked to participate in a video project and have an article assignment for a local publication.

My book club is party-like at times. There is a meeting this Friday which I hadn’t planned attending because I didn’t read the book (couldn’t find it easily and it isn’t a particularly compelling title but now I am thinking I will read excerpts and go anyway.)

I have had “Host a Sunday before Thanksgiving Gathering” on my list of wish-to-do’s for years. This weekend I am putting together a calendar for the year and working backwards to insure my biggest projects have tasks broken down throughout the year.

This will be one of them.

I will also add “getting together with friends in the “in between” times. ” to my calendar. I used to love doing this when I attended more parties. i see now, visibility helps.

Small, meet-ups for coffee. Casual movie matinees. Taking note and following up on birthdays. Texts for no reason letting people I care about know I am thinking of them and want to include them more in my simple, everyday activities.

It may seem like a simple, not much there prompt and yet it is so much more.

Join the community forming for Bridge for the New Year now.

2018: My Heart Held by a Cause.

December 7, 2018 by jjscreativelifemidwife

Most people I interact with on a daily basis don’t know I was an international relations major back when I was studying and dinosaurs roamed the earth. I even studied at the United Nations for a semester with my biggest thrill being when I was mistaken for an employee one day. Be still my heart!

I surprise people more when I tell them I am an Africanist. My area of special interest was Sub-Saharan Africa, with an emphasis on West Africa. I don’t get to use my expertise much, but recently, I have been visiting refugees seeking asylum in the United States who are currently being detained at a facility here in Bakersfield.

I won’t go into my many complex thoughts on this issue, but I will say opening my heart to these women has been among the most moving experiences of my life. Their stories, their determination, their kindnesses are unmatched.

As I write this I am on a train headed toward Oregon for my Aunt’s memorial service. My first daughter from Cameroon is praying for my travel to be safe and stress-free. I texted her – we text often, as I do with my other daughters. My second daughter from Cameroon is currently in detention so I see her weekly, for an hour. We write letters back and forth. The hour a week goes far too quickly.

I am still actively involved with One Billion Rising/and VDay, working to end violence against women and girls.

Now, however, my heart has a unique outreach concerning violence against refugee women worldwide.

I didn’t expect my heart to be so enriched that day when I saw a training from a local refugee and immigration rights group and decided it might fill the void of other losses this year. On a whim, I went – and I have not been the same since.

This blog post was written from a prompt offered in the “Bridge to the New Year” experience which you may find at JuicyJournaling.com. Join a group of creatives reflecting, connecting, intending and taking passionate action as they step into 2019.

Julie Jordan Scott is the Creative Life Midwife. THANK YOU for reading!

Unfinished Goal: Re-Devoted: The Virginia Woolf Room

December 6, 2018 by jjscreativelifemidwife

I knew I had neglected the room I was so excited to create. I knew there came a point after I moved the furniture I had been using when Emma was away into the other room and I settled again for leftovers and mishmash that I was also sending a message to myself that wasn’t very loving.

“It is in our idleness, in our dreams, that the submerged truth sometimes makes its way to the surface.”

― Virginia Woolf

The nuances, subtle, go unnoticed.

I mean, I knew I had neglected the room I was so excited to create. I knew there came a point after I moved the furniture I had been using when Emma was away into the other room and I settled again for leftovers and mishmash that I was also sending a message to myself that wasn’t very loving.

“You can have whatever’s left. Sure, you were going for a feminine and feminist room of your own, literary granny style and all, but you know, that was a lark just like so many other things you try…” and little by little my once-almost-what-I-wanted became a disorganized jumble, not at all the oasis it was eighteen months ago, newly painted and hard wood floors restored, a soft comforter in pink and so many pillows in various shades of pink and polka dots it made my heart go pitter pat whenever I walked in and plunked on the bed to write. I had a make shift lap desk, art on the walls, and at about five o’clock every day the light became especially magical.

When Emma reclaimed her furniture, my pink bedding no longer fit. The dresser was bulky and dark, the bed lumpy and small.

The love affair was over. I took the art off the walls. I never changed the time on the clock to reflect falling back and springing ahead.

While I had thought about springing into action to reclaim my vision, it wasn’t until I chose to answer the prompt for today it all fell into place so clearly.

I even made a plan

Clear room, beginning the day after return from Oregon (December 11)

Move book shelf to D’s to complete the restoration by January 1 (latest, 1/29)

It might sound strange, but this unfinished project is a barrier because its taking up of space in my room is an example of me not feeling heard and me agreeing, by default, that I wasn’t valueable enough oto be heard.

A carpenter I met offered to make me a custom book shelf – because I wanted it to include slates to sort my ephemera and paper. I told D about this but he insisted he could do it better. He bought an enormous shelf from a university he wanted to fix up, but he didn’t ever seem to hear what I wanted. He punted it to me to work on, which is definitely not what I wanted. About a month ago I sent him an image of my “dream shelf” and suddenly, he got it. Maybe nearly two years late, but if I get it before the beginning of the year – or even before my birthday on January 29 I will be very happy.

Only put back into the room what is MEANT to be in there and has a purpose for being there. Make list and diagram of wall art and furniture. Complete by December 15.
Commit to blog on December 31 with photos of progress. J

Vision reclaimed, plan in place. Virginia Woolf room, I am excited to enjoy you again! Happy New Year!

Julie Jordan Scott is the Creative Life Midwife. THANK YOU for reading!

Insights into How to Tune into Gratitude: Bridge to a New Year Day 4

December 4, 2018 by jjscreativelifemidwife

#BridgetotheNewYear Day 4 Prompt: Appreciation and Gratitude

Today’s Prompt: What have you grown to appreciate in 2018? .
How do you show your appreciation? .
Is there a way you would like to grow in gratitude practice in 2019?

I started adulthood as a cynical naysayer, sneering down my nose at the “attitude of gratitude” army who I likened to television evangelists with overdone make up and dramatic acts of supposed religiosity. And then, something happened.

I am not sure when or who or how it happened, but I decided to start making a gratitude list every day.
And then I started making a gratitude list in community.
And then I started making a gratitude list in community for 365 days straight.

This isn’t for everyone… and it changed things for me. Oprah was talking about it, gratitude was an every day “thing.”

It still is for me, though I don’t keep a 365 Gratitude list anymore, it is ever present in my consciousness most of the time. (A side note, perhaps it will resurge in 2019).

This year I have grown to appreciate in greater depth something I have believed for years: the majority of the people sharing this rich, ripe globe with me want to do good by one another.

They want to pitch in, they want to help and be of service. People enjoy being asked to provide as they can and get a lot of satisfaction out of lending a helpful hand (or wallet or spare bedroll or bisquit.)

A month ago this came to light in a new, larger and more grand way than I could have foreseen. A woman I have come to call my daughter was in a crisis more than 1,000 miles from me and more than 2,000 miles from her blood family. She was a refugee stranded in a small city in Colorado after enduring more hardship than most Americans I know endure.

When her teary voice said to me, “I don’t know if I can take this, Mum.” I sprang to action and started connecting with people who started connecting with people who started connecting with people and miracles happened for this young woman.

My three youngest children, Samuel< Queenta and Emma. Children of my blood and of my heart. Welcome to the US, Queenta. — My three youngest children, standing by the Palm tree where they have traditionally posed for years. Samuel, Queenta, Emma

The thing is, we had more outward differences than samenesses AND the greatest sameness lived in our heart space, in our love for humanity and in a willingness to go beyond what others may do – but only because they don’t know how yet.

The next day I spoke to my cousin and she said, “Wow, you have an incredible network of people.” And I responded, “They’re your network, too,” just like they are YOUR network, you who are reading this now.
I didn’t know many of the people who helped. I just knew people who knew people who knew people and I asked and I kept asking until my daughter was safe and sound.

I’m still showing appreciation and gratitude to the people I met along the way.

Gratitude is best expressed and practicing in a variety of ways helps. — In 2013 I had a gratitude jar, holding delights, which doubled as a writing prompt jar. Writing of gratitude expands it.

I stepped away from writing and thought, “Sometimes I throw my gratitude out there, littering the world with it when I’m feeling fully connected and vibrant. When I am not, divinity delivers an invitation to notice gratitude and sometimes, the circumstances are so overwhelmingly beautiful in every way, it is like gratitude has rushed in and done a cosmic happy dance and I can’t help but burst over with joy.

Gratitude: sometimes I lean into it, sometimes appreciation takes my hand and shows me the way and sometimes gratitude is a moshpit of laughter so great I can’t even begin to fully understand it.

In 2019 I want to deepen my gratitude practice. As I said above, I believe it is time to share my gratitude in a journal and also publicly. I shared on my facebook page a few days ago I think I will continue to do so.

I also want to use the power of energy to share gratitude, via the people I meet randomly – really looking into their hearts, their being – and expressing gratitude not only with words but via the beating of my heart. I don’t think that makes sense in language form, but I do know my heart just warmed up as I wrote those words.

Woo woo. I can hear some of you. And then I remember what I used to think about those “fakes” and “weird attitude of gratitude” people and my temporary embarrassment diminishes.

Now it’s your turn. If you blog, consider blogging on these themes – link up at juicyjournaling.com

Today’s Prompt: What have you grown to appreciate in 2018? .
How do you show your appreciation?

Is there a way you would like to grow in gratitude practice in 2019?

If you Instagram, look for the hashtags #BridgetoTheNewYear or #Bridgeto2019 Follow our prompts there, too.

If you would like to be a part of a Free Facebook Group where these subjects are being discussed, please visit us here and request membership.

Until tomorrow,
Julie JS Your Creative Life Midwife.

Bridge to the New Year: One Word #OLW 2018 – 2019?

December 2, 2018 by jjscreativelifemidwife

Here is one of the ways I find images for the content I create: I go to my flickr account – the one I have had for more than ten years and holds a huge repository of photos.

I do a quick search and up pop usually related possibilities. Today I searched FREE and a garden I used to visit as a child popped up.

I may have literally asked, “Why are these showing up as “free” when it hit me.

I only felt happiness here at Freeman Gardens.

It was an oasis, I remember walkign along the path in the back corner that felt like a wilderness, carrying my hand-me-down brownie camera taking photos.

On my walk to school in the Spring, I tasted honeysuckles growing on her fences.

I “bridged up” in an early ritual of growing toward being a woman. Each earnest little girl walked over a rickety bridge we only knew to trust.

Katherine and I visited after she graduated from Smith in May, 2014 and she is who you see in the photo above.

I felt freedom and love when I visited Katherine again, in May 2018. At this point she was married, had graduated from seminary, and was being ordained. My freedom seems slightly ironic because I was without a car but I read two novels, saw many friends from long ago and friends from livestreaming I had never met face-to-face and I regretted not planning better but in retrospect I was grateful for the freedom of no expectations.

My one word, one little word, Theme Word, whatever it might be described for 2018 was “Freedom” usually declared with a smug look on my face. Well, that smug was wiped away within the first three weeks of the year when I lost final shreds of friendships and the trajectory toward a lot of uncomfortable disengagement flooded my reality.

As little as six weeks ago I was ready to declare 2018 another in what felt like a long line of disappointing failures until… I gained clarity, like when I found this photo and realized this park – called “Freeman Gardens” which is probably why it showed up in the search – was a place I only knew happiness. While I had a fairly normal childhood, there was a lot of sadness, a lot of not-so-great episodes amidst the outward semblance of Father Knows Best and the Donna Reed Show.

2018 did show me freedom, also, simply in surprising ways.

I experienced freedom to let go of people and circumstances that caused more pain than promise, the freedom to say no or “I am not sure” or “not this time.”

I gave myself the freedom to be bad at things and I even gave myself the permission to ask people to participate in activities because I didn’t feel comfortable to do them alone and people even said yes on more occasions than not.

Turns out freedom wasn’t such a bad word for the year afterall.

Next year: right now for some reason Declaration and Proclamation are both attempting to get my attention. As usual, I am giving them space while still leaving the door open to other suitors.

Tell me about your One Word, #OLW or whatever you call it for 2018 and if you are not sure right now for 2019 that is completely fine, too.

This post is a part of Bridge to the New Year, a collaborative project/initiative between Creative Life Midwife and JuicyJournaling.com Each day during December we will be offering prompts to guide participants through the process of reviewing and reflecting the year and setting a framework (roadmap, intention) for the New Year. There is also a facebook group with discussion, videos and more.