Creative Life Midwife

Inspiring Artistic Rebirth

Day 4: Believing Mirrors in 31 Days of (Self) Belonging

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Believing mirrors: people who see you, hear you and reflect your goodness back to you. It is similar to holding unconditional positive regard as we discussed yesterday, though the term is rooted in the work of Julia Cameron.

I have often suggested the discovery of believing mirrors to my coaching clients as well as myself and I have never thought of it in relation to belonging, especially self-belonging.

This realization hit me like a hailstorm yesterday.

Two aspects were especially strong: what is it to find and be in relationship with people who are believing mirrors and what would it take to be my own believing mirror?

Being my own believing mirror - photo illustrates being a believing mirror before going onstage while waiting in the wings at the Empty Space Theater in Bakersfield, California

“WHAT?!” I internally yelled at myself. “I never even considered being my own believing mirror!”

Sometimes the most obvious are the least likely to be seen, like in a romance story where people start the movie as enemies and become lovers. Think “You’ve Got Mail” or I’ve lost count of how many Shakespeare plays.

Today will begin my practice of being my own believing mirror.

I am devoting myself to an evening practice of collecting what to reflect back to myself with unconditional positive regard and speak to myself in respect to what I did not only well, but when I was notably trying my best in the moment.

To increase the emphasis, I intend to create a daily story on instagram sharing from 3 – 5 ways I am believing in myself for the next week. If I miss or mess up, I will believe – because I know – if I make doing my best into a practice I will remember even when my best doesn’t look exceptional, it is that day’s best.

Do you have someone who you consider to be a believing mirror for you?

I would love to hear how you communicate to one another.

Woman hugging a cartoon tree - white with black polka dots

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she has recently finished her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch exclusive reels, videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group

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Day 3: 31 Days of (Self) Belonging

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Sometimes when we decide to take action, exactly what you need seems to magically fall into place.

It is as Paulo Coelho wrote, “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

Does Magic Begin with Habits, Rituals and Our Natural Tendencies?

I have a ritual on Sunday afternoon to go for a drive, a hike and listen to podcasts in a leisurely way as I do. Usually I have two podcasts I listen to, but this Sunday, I listened to a podcast I listen to semi-regularly and it served up exactly what I needed to hear in order for me to feel a strong sense of belonging and recognition.

I saw myself in the description spoken by the host of “Being Well,” Forrest Hanson and his father Dr. Rick Hanson, who shared a brief synopsis of the work of Carl Rogers. The three word description “unconditional positive regard” reminded me of both how I operate and who I am.

My thought was, “There is a name for how I naturally operate?” which turned into “It is a valid, valuable way of being.”

How Unconditional Positive Regard Intersects with Self-Belonging

I first heard myself speak this “Unconditional Positive Regard” aloud in a classroom recently when I said, “I am here because I see the good in you.”

It followed when I advocated for a student I have nothing to do with except we are both humans and on my quest for self-belonging I am also continuing to focus on belonging for others.

When I heard Dr. Hanson talk about unconditional positive regard I thought to myself, “How often do I say things to myself like I said to that random student?”

“I am here because I see the good in you, Julie.”
I don’t know if I have ever said that to myself.

I see you, I am listening to you, I am honoring you

One of the reasons for this exploration was to find areas where I could strengthen my awareness – and this is a definite gift because seeing the good in others and expressing that good that we see is like rolling out the “belonging red carpet.”

I see you; I am listening to you; I am honoring you.

Today when I advocated for the student whose path I just-so-happened to cross, I encountered a whole new group of people, I spoke in a language I sort of know, but I’m stretching my use of it on purpose in order to connect with her. “I am making this honest effort to help you because I see you, I hear your heart and I value you.”

Reaching out to those who are at risk of being lonely and roll out the “belonging red carpet” as best as I can is something I have done since I was a very young child. This is unique about me, something that has been true about me for my entire life. 

The student has now been invited into a social event that will help her with language and hopefully make new friends, I have collaborated with her language teacher to help her fit in through conversing in both of our native languages and I had that deeply satisfying feeling that comes from helping someone simply because we are two humans on this planet.

Vulnerability: an Indication Belonging is Near or Here

Vulnerability alert: I have tears in my eyes as I even think about morphing the words of belonging I thought towards a student I don’t even know:

 “I am making this honest effort to help you, Julie,  because I see you, I hear your heart and I value you.”

This isn’t about parroting phrases of self-love.

These are true statements I am learning and yearning to fully embrace.

I will check in at the end of the week about my overall progress and this study of and usage of unconditional positive regard to myself will be an excellent measuring stick of how I am honoring myself and inviting myself to higher levels of self-belonging.

Do you recognize yourself in anything I have shared here? I would love to hear how you are connecting with my words. Hearing how you are connecting (or suggestions as well) will help me grow to hear how these concepts are landing with you and if you have any questions for me as I continue to develop this series.

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she has recently finished her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch exclusive reels, videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group

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Day 2: 31 Days of (Self) Belonging

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Doorways have been a meaningful visual metaphor for me for as long as I remember.

An image of a door caused an a-ha moment during my writing practice yesterday.

I realized  if I shut the door on other people, I am also shutting the door on myself. As Walt Whitman reminded us, “Every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.”

Shutting doors is disconnecting from possibilities.

I remembered times when doors shut, unexpectedly or when I didn’t want them to shut so quickly.

This could be subway doors or elevator doors sliding shut right before you step through them which causes you to miss the opportunity to get where you are going.

How do you respond?

Sometimes I respond with anger, frustration when it would have been more self-soothing to let go with a sigh of realization, I now have a few more moments to contemplate what patience feels like.

Someone closing the door before you have finished speaking is a form of dehumanizing. It is saying  “I don’t recognize you or your desires. I won’t listen to you anymore.”

Hanging up a phone connection works similarly. 

Fourteen years ago I told a friend, “If you ever hang up on me again, our friendship will be over.”
They never hung up on me again.

When the subway or elevator door closes there is no human element, yet I have heard people take the doors shutting personally, when that meaning isn’t there – unless you are blaming yourself for not paying attention or responding quickly enough.

When it is a human who willfully shuts the door and disconnects from you, this may be a valid cause for pain, sadness and grief.

Consider for today if you would rather live your life with both open doors or shut doors or only with one or the other.

What does this have to do with belonging?

Let’s return to Walt Whitman for our answer: the current loneliness epidemic is caused by people shutting doors to open another. When we shut the door to ourselves, we are shutting out others as well. When we close the connection to ourselves, we are closing the connection we may create with others.

Today, even in the smallest ways, practice opening doors to yourself so that tomorrow, it will be easier to open the doors to others.

Doors from the early 20th Century at a Railroad depot in Middletown New York with the affirmation, "Today I will open doors to myself & others."

What does opening the door to yourself look like?

  • Taking extra time in the morning getting ready rather than rushing. Even five extra minutes makes a positive difference.
  • Asking yourself a mindful question throughout the day such as “How am I feeling right now? What would I most enjoy doing next?
  • Stand in front of a mirror and smile at and with yourself. Put your hand over your heart and take three deep breaths. Continue with your day (at a minimum repeat before breakfast, lunch and dinner)

Woman (Julie Jordan Scott Julie JordanScott) seeming to burst through a broken wall on an abandoned home.

Julie Jordan Scott is a multi-passionate creative who has served people worldwide as a creative life coach, an inspiring voice in the darkness and a presence in her writing, creativity and teaching in workshops, webinars, group facilitation and more. 

Watch this space for more as the month unfolds.

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Day 1: Beyond the Ordinary 31 Days of (Self) Belonging

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Last week I said to one of the teachers at the school where I work, “This year my goal is to focus on creating a sense of belonging: both for the students and for me.”

I didn’t plan this conversation before the words sprang from my mouth.

As I heard myself give voice to what was asking to be explored it immediately started taking form.

I realized it was one of those soul things where the intention rises up from the mysterious depths within. I was reminded of almost twenty years ago when I set a goal on a website called 43things.com when I created a goal to “Honor My Son’s Uniqueness.”

Maybe it was time to honor my own uniqueness through using my experiences with belonging on a personal level. I knew this quarterly blogging challenge was coming up.

It seemed like the perfect opportunity and chose to honor this focus by taking steps to develop my personal concept of Self-Belonging and bring it to life.

Why is Self-Belonging Significant?

I remember in my junior year of high school my history teacher mentioned students in “The B Tier” – who don’t get validated for the wonderful people they are. He didn’t seem to realize how many of us were floundering in the C, D, E, K, L, V, Y and beyond.

In my adventures in Self-Belonging, I would say my level of self-acceptance has vacillated over my life history. Researcher Brene Brown tells us belonging begins with self-acceptance.

At some point between when my history teacher talked about “The B Tier” and I thought “I must be on the T or V Tier” and today, my self-acceptance may have fallen way off the radar. To use a metaphor, my self-acceptance may be what Pluto is to our solar system.

Pluto is no longer a planet. At my age and with my experiences, perhaps I inadvertently rendered self-acceptance irrelevant. No longer something to even consider.

Is Self-Acceptance Difficult for Other People?

Another surprising thing was listening to women at a California Women’s leadership conference – hearing the insecurities of the upper echelon of our society – admired by many – who also spoke in clips and phrases that said they also don’t feel a sense of high self-worth or a sense of belonging, either.

I had recently experienced the death of my mother and a very messy (for me) aftermath which I won’t go into right now. I can only do so much vulnerable sharing at once. (If I was speaking, this is where I would attempt to stifle an uncomfortable laugh.)

Amidst all of this thought and quite a bit of journaling and reflection, I heard we had 100 Days left of 2023.

Here and Now: 91 More Days of 2023

During the 31 Days of October, we will focus on self-belonging as a means to leading a more satisfying life. My intention is you will glean a new understanding of yourself and others from a mindful consideration of what I offer here.

The posts will not be lengthy, they will be meaningful, vulnerable and transparent. They may challenge your thought – which I believe is good. That means we’re growing.

Finally, I am grateful you are reading. I look forward to seeing how this month unfolds for each and all of us.

Julie Jordan Scott is a multi-passionate creative who has served people worldwide as a creative life coach, an inspiring voice in the darkness and a presence in her writing, creativity and teaching in workshops, webinars, group facilitation and more. 

Watch this space for more as the month unfolds.

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From Nightmare to a Small and Mighty Action that Made a Big Difference

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As the day wore on yesterday, I got more fussy and cranky. I was planning to go to a poetry event in Newton and instead of not going because I was fussy and cranky, I showed up anyway. I was not my sometimes ebullient self AND I showed up. WIN!

I have been having challenges staying asleep, so I did the entirely wrong thing by procrastinating even going upstairs until way after my preferred time. I went to sleep late and my sleep was interrupted because I thought a war had broken out in Sussex Borough and tanks were rolling down Unionville Avenue shooting recklessly at the homes and churches and were headed to the (tiny) downtown. WHERE WAS MY PROTECTION! Then I remembered: this is what the thunder and lightning of my childhood felt like. 

No wonder I ran away crying from “lightning bugs” aka fireflies.

When I woke up later than I like, I decided I needed something different. I had planned to go for my morning walk – which I did very briefly and then…. I decided to experiment with my morning roll over and write and instead, make it roll over and walk, write outside after the walk. This was nothing short of miraculous. Sitting in the rocking chair with my journal and writing for only about five minutes made me feel completely refreshed – and this was even before coffee!

I wrote longer than I might have made it AND it warms my spirit  to share these moments in time with you.

I went from being grouchy to having a nightmare and being grouchy to taking a simple action that shifted everything.

Is there an action you might take, no matter how small, that has the power to make a big difference in your attitude right now?

A five minute walk might become your miracle (or a five minute brain dump session or a quick phone call to a dear friend or a 15 minute cup of tea gazing out the window.)

Let me know in the comments (or send me a direct message) to let me know what tiny and meaningful action you are willing to take in the next 24 hours to may make a big difference in your life now.

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she has recently finished her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch exclusive reels, videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group

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Trust: Building a Life, One Step at a Time

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On an almost autumn morning last year I came downstairs to my home office and started tidying the desk. I heard a weird sound from outside. Was it Wally, my housemate who some of you might call a pesky woodchuck or groundhog?

I lifted the curtain and there was no Wally in sight and the sound stopped so I put the curtain down and the sound came back.

I gazed out the front window and saw one of the neighborhood wild turkeys marching through the front yard. I haven’t named them yet. I raced to the front door so I could get a clear photo without the window screen getting in the way but by then the turkey was on to my exuberance and he had one again, moved out of sight.

I wondered, “What has happened to make the manse more fairy-tale-like with all these wild animals showing up and hanging out with me?”

I have always heard the geese fly by with their morning greetings. These new friends just keep making everything feel even more magical than it already did.

My affirmation for today comes from Teresa of Avila:

“I trust I am exactly where I am meant to be.” This continues to hold true, even a year later.

Even after a number of occurrences that didn’t seem like they were on the bright side.

I persevered and I trusted. I trusted I was in the right place, ground hogs and all.

Julie JordanScott Comeback Crone Creative Life Midwife

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she has recently finished her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch exclusive reels, videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group

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That Didn’t Work Out Like I Planned

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Otherwise known as THE JOY OF MAKING MISTAKES IN PUBLIC

Is there some sort of an award for mistake prone folks?

I attempted to schedule a blog post today and failed. The blog post posted, but the content had “September 17” on it and talked about the break I was taking which started the end of last week and will end two weeks from now.

Why is making mistakes so easy?

Here’s the thing: I could have pranced around angrily but instead I decided to allow it to stay there. The mistake. Public facing, big mess up and this, my friends, is an attempt to actually schedule the blog post (which will now be this one) on September 17.

Wish me well.

PS – If this turns into a mistake, I will delete it. 🙂

Woman (Julie Jordan Scott Julie JordanScott) seeming to burst through a broken wall on an abandoned home.

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she has recently finished her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch exclusive reels, videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

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Lesson Gratefully Learned: The Freedom of Boundaries

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I am a week into my period of self-imposed isolation, though I popped onto twitter last night to make one post. This mindful experience of boundaries is different than when I miss out on social media because life is frantic and I can’t post because of a lack of time.

This “I have time but I am purposefully disconnecting” as a conscious choice feels better and it is still strange… different… not what I would have expected.

Sometimes when I have known people to disengage from social media I have questioned their rationale. Some people feel disdain for social media, like it is an enemy or something to conquer. I have always seen social media as another point of connection, not a tool of influence or something I must do, I see it as something I choose to do like choosing to open a gift or not open a gift. 

Allowing those words to appear on my keyboard allows me to see my choice differently. The meaning speaks to me in a deeper, more interesting way.

I initially chose this dark period  (that is the theater term for when there is no production scheduled during a certain period of time.) as a way to minimize the possibility of experiencing more pain than I have the bandwidth for, with this being my first week back at school while grieving the death of my mother. I didn’t know how I would feel, I didn’t know how crushing (or not) my emotions would be.

I didn’t see this time of quiet as a gift to myself, I saw it as an exercise in strength because I receive a lot of energy from hearing your voices reflect back to me in your comments and interactions with me. By choosing to go dark it meant I was taking away the energetic exchange from you to me as well as from me to you. 

A week into the dark period and two days into the school year, I am above fair-to-middling. I am in a space where I can remind myself to smile as I walk around campus, for example. I was able to make a new friend yesterday – the school librarian! Such a natural! I haven’t cried publicly which is good. I have agreed to sing the solo on church on Sunday I was rehearsing the morning I got the call Mom had died which I was scheduled to sing the week she died.

I am taking gentle risks, allowing myself to roll out the soft landing repeatedly without rush or shouldas or if onlys.

As I am writing this I have ten more days to go. In real time when you are reading this, I am probably back. 🙂

I am, as always, grateful you are here, reading.

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she has recently finished her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch exclusive reels, videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

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Good Morning, Love: September 17, 2023

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I have been away, on purpose, for more than two weeks. It has been profound and strange. Profoundly strange, sort of like me. More than sort of like me.

A year ago my musings sounded like this:

Today’s sunrise was glorious here in Bakersfield. As I drove from the house-sitting gig to my home office I was stunned repeatedly by the extraordinary-ordinary beauty.

My favorite moment was (don’t judge) I was at a red light, and I wanted to take a short video of the ordinary beauty unfolding before me. There was a billboard blocking part of the view and I decided to just be patient – holding my phone low to video when I spotted a Bakersfield Police Department officer pull up two lanes over from me.

I laughed because I was thinking about creative blocks and fear and boom. I could have been in deep, expensive trouble and instead, I slowly lowered my camera and my creative endeavors and laughed from deep in my belly that I was actually paying close attention albeit in a different way.

This morning, a year later, I walked on the front porch of the manse in my stocking feet to take a photo of the cloudy horizon when the sun had not yet made her way up quite yet.

I was busy at work, even then, and preparing for the school year to begin tomorrow.

Tomorrow I will be back on Social Media, posting again – and grateful to have had this time to be fully with myself again.

Turns out I really needed the quiet.

Good morning, Love.

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she has recently finished her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch exclusive reels, videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

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How to Nourish and Nurture Your Creativity Now & In the Future

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How will you nourish and nurture your creativity in August and beyond?

Watch for a moment how I am planning to nourish my creativity so that you may find new ideas worth implementing as well.

✨First and foremost, I will continue my daily creative and spiritual practices, partnered together. Writing Practice,  Meditation practice, Fitness. These will be done (in some cases) or begin in the first hour of waking for others.

Fitness and Mindfulness are all day adventures while morning routines and practices begin my day focused and allow me to be continually open to ideas, insights and wisdom beyond my own.

🌟Secondly, I will focus on honoring my planning practices and implementation with a focus on follow through and follow up.

💝 Finally I will utilize healthy doses of personal kindness, forgiveness and grace as I seek to improve and am bound to fail. Failure is a welcome creative teacher. Mistakes (and falling down because of mistakes) allow me to flex by “getting up” muscles. 

Interesting how strengthening my aging muscles gets more and more invigorated as I continue on this path of life with all the glorious nuances it brings to me.

🎭 Also on my mind is that it has been six months since my last theatre project. I miss the collaborative community from being a part of a production, yet with all I have on my agenda, I don’t believe this is the right time. Perhaps my live-streaming is helping to keep that form of creativity alive.

🙋🏻‍♀️❓How are you nourishing your creativity as Summer 2023 continues?

💝 📚📒

💡 Your presence here fills me with gratitude.

✍🏻 I am a writer first, writing & creativity coach, multi passionate creative next. Writing has always been my anchor art and to her I always return. Thankfully, with great love.

🎯My aim is to create content here that inspires and instructs – if there is ever a topic you would like for me to explore, please reach out and tell me. My ultimate goal is to create posts, videos and more that speak to your desires as well as mine because where these two intersect, our collaborative, joyful energy ignites into a fire of love, light and passionate creativity.

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she has recently finished her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch exclusive reels, videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

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