Creative Life Midwife

Inspiring Artistic Rebirth

Feelings: Over Around and Upside Down Getting Through the Covid19 Pandemic

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Weekends for me tend to be busier than weekdays and during these days of quarantine, it is not different. I stay where I am and I have the meetings I would have had out and about. I leave my home to write haiku and I come home and I have more meetings.

Earlier today I was so tired I really wanted to opt out of my later-in-the-day meeting but I didn’t. I was actually energized afterwards. Yay me for showing up anyway?

I did some decluttering and purposeful television watching (Little Fires Everywhere) and now, I give myself the gift of a touch of writing before I either make a video or do some decluttering or both.

I look back up and see the graphic I made earlier in the week,a quote. “A word after a word after a word is power,” and I think “She’s right. Margaret Atwood is right.”

What I was feeling before I sat down to write was anger.

I saw a writing prompt and it made me mad.

But I pushed that mad away and pretended it hadn’t existed and allowed the distraction to take center court and then again, “A word after a word after a word is power” so here I am.

I am angry. This unknown is stretching out in front of us with no end in sight is starting to get on my nerves. I can pretend it doesn’t bother me and get all into spiritual mode, but I am afraid to go into grocery stores and I am out of cranberry juice and that makes me feel angry, which highlights my privilege and makes me feel ashamed for getting upset about something like not having cranberry juice when lives are being lost.

Someone is texting me as I write and my phone buzzes. I more than likely don’t want to talk to them (or text with them.) Right now I would like chocolate. I am angry that my default is still chocolate. I am angry I have had a chocolate addiction for almost my entire.

My spiritual better half is whispering in my ear to practice self-forgiveness but my mad as hell and I’m not taking it anymore side is escalating. Clackety clackety clackety up the roller coaster mountain my anger goes…no relief in sight. No relief in sight.

I put my head against the back of the chair and watched videos of my trip to the river this morning. I allowed myself to feel whatever was gurgling up. I stopped feeling angry and remembered I am in control of what I do with my anger.

There may not be the relief I would like to have and there is relief in knowing I have tools like writing, meditation, daily virtual Coffee Date Conversations, music, 27 fling boogies, art journaling, all of it will get me closer to feeling better even if these circumstances continue longer than I might want or like.

“A Word after a word after a word is power,” says Margaret Atwood.

My words, “I have the ability to process. I gain strength daily. I have the resources I need to get through this just like I’ve gotten through many other setbacks along the way.”

Grace flows because my heart knows – a word after a word after a word is power.

AFFIRMATION TO USE:

“Grace flows because my heart knows “A word after a word after a word is power.”

Writing prompt:

Right now I feel…… (write without editing or judgement. End your writing with 5 gratitudes and the affirmation, “Grace flows because my heart knows – a word after a word after a word is power.”

Women holding mugs of coffee, tea, mocha to represent a "virtual coffee date" held virtually during the 2020 pandemic.
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Julie JordanScott is the Creative Life Midwife. She inspires people to live their life as an artform and then take action towards their best results. Her specialty is writing – her easiest way to express what she does is this: She Coaches. You Write. Your Readers Win! During the 2020 Pandemic she is also leading daily Virtual Coffee Dates, Facilitating Intentional Conversation so people will feel less isolated during this time of social and physical distancing.

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Permission to Feel & Love Grey (or Not) #covid19support

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A tree in the grey fog on a cold looking morning gives us permission to feel whatever we feel, thank goodness.

It is a grey day here in Bakersfield. I realized after being awake for about an hour I was feeling grey as well. Not dark, not light, just grey. Just grey simply grey and I didn’t and don’t have any fierce predilection to change.

I don’t even know if “predilection” fits there but I like how it sounds, so I am keeping it.

I overslept so I opted out of bed yoga and pre-rise meditation because I wanted to be on-time for my poetry livestreams.

It was cold on my porch, but I livestreamed anyway.

It is drizzling so I didn’t walk though I did take a photo of a sunshiney house in my neighborhood on a street I have always loved and wished I had the vision to push to buy the house on that cul de sac those thirty years ago when I was buying a home.

I decided to light candles and write because it is something I could do, right or wrong, I could simply opt into doing something.

My coffee is brewing and the smell is rising which brings me comfort.

The garbage was collected as always and that gives me an expansive feeling. Am I the only one who enjoys filling my trash can to be picked up? Because I house sit I have two trash cans to fill and I am doing it with such joy I think I must be more than odd and I accept that.

I give myself permission to be how I am and to feel what I feel and cherish this all whether I like it or not. I am holding my grey feelings close and loving them, not trying to change them or “make them better.” I am reminded my wedding china was “Glories on grey” by Lennox, partially because I truly love grey and partially because I deeply cherish the neighbor of my childhood, Mrs. Elder, who had a carefully curated Lenox collection. She took her time in choosing her china and the little me loved her for it.

These days of separate togetherness will look different from day-to-day and our feelings will vacillate – may we grant those around us permission to feel how they are feeling as we continue to grow in compassionate understanding to live and love what is.

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If you would enjoy “hanging out” with a welcoming group of people during this time of social and physical distancing, join us in our Zoom Meeting. We meet daily from 1:30 – 2:30 PDT. Registration details are listed below.

To register via Zoom, please visit here. We also have a Facebook Event where people within the conversation will see recaps of the Coffee Conversations and resources mentioned there. To mark yourself as Interested or Attending and to see what we’ve been up to, please visit here.

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What Creative Activity is Calling You While You Social Distance?

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An invitation to creative practice while you are experiencing quarantine or social distancing.

I woke up this morning and knew my notebook was calling me so I chose not to putter, look at my instagram feed, check the latest news or otherwise distract myself, I sat down to write. I set my timer for an hour full of creative process.

I stumbled into a thread of Thoreau writing about lives of quiet desperation and Tagore writing about bird song… and I might as well have been on a writing retreat in a tucked away North Carolina cabin.

It felt so good to pay attention to the light.

It felt so good to honor the call to creativity.

It felt so good to take action instead of thinking about and talking about and considering writing – instead I wrote.

Did I write the start of the best American novel? Definitely not. Did I write a poem that will be quoted for a generation and then some like my beloved Mary Oliver? Not in the least, not even a rough rough draft of such a poem. Make that not even a triple rough draft.

Did I write sales copy for my next creative coaching program that will bring people from everywhere to enjoy the journey with me? Nope – although I did do a bit of business processing writing.

Did I write a screenplay, an inspirational essay, a thank you note, a something tangible that would make people like and appreciate me more?

No, I did not.

What I did was enjoy my process. I literally sat at my art table as the sun was coming up and enjoyed the dance of her rays hitting my page. I made a short video and noticed for the first time how my pen actually creates its own vacuum when the letters I swirl magnetize their message (that will be on my Instagram story later today.)

I planted some trees on my focus app which always makes me happy – silly and true.

Because I was sitting at my table instead of squirreled away in my room, Emma could pronounce to me she saw an opossum in our backyard! Hooray for opossums!

Before I went to sleep last night, I knew writing would be the best way to start my day. I have known this for years. Today, I took action. I smiled as I wrote and I wrote as my coffee perked and I wrote as I lived fully despite being “stuck” in my home for who knows how long because the world and the people in it deserves my cooperation.

Next up is my morning walk, which I am now calling a haiku walk.

Later today I will attend my friend Paula’s art zoom and then host the Coffee and Connected Conversation Zoom I’ve been hosting and will continue to host for friends – some of whom I have never met “in real life” and some I have.

What is calling you into connection today?

How will you honor that call?

To be inspired by joining a group of people in a Zoom “Coffee Date” you may join us at 1:30 pm today (we meet daily, you may pop in whenever you’re available.) Click this link to register now.

Julie JordanScott is a creative life coach, writer, poet, Mama extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose greatest joys include loving people into their greatness they just aren’t quite able to realize yet. To set up a complimentary exploratory session, please visit here.

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