poetry quotes – Creative Life Midwife

Today’s 5 minute writing came to me in a more circular way than my norm. I am on a retreat this week: I am still at home, but my focus is on curation and completion of content that has been hanging about, unfinished, in my “unpolished gems” files.

I started to write this after I had finished a couple unfinished videos and rewritten several poems from my upcoming collection. I opened my copy of “I Praise My Destroyer” by Diane Ackerman, re-read the opening stanza of her poem, “You will think this a dream” and within five minutes, another big breakthrough came to be. You may see yourself reflected in the process. Below is what I wrote:

From the Poem “You Will Think This a Dream” by Diane Ackerman in her collection, I Praise My Destroyer.”
“Hypnotized, it leaps through coiled metal
to drive cauldrons wild
in a parenthesis of flame – “

Prompts:
Question – What doesn’t surprise me… that would if I shifted perspective?
Phrases to inspire:
A parenthesis of flame
Cauldrons wild
Hypnotized, it leaps (also vary pronouns – she, he, they, you, we)
Sentence starter:
I remember the time it felt like I was hypnotized so clearly, it was….

It took me longer to get started than I am used to it taking.

I was settling in, diligently checking things off my massive to-do list, not wanting to be bothered with.. and here in the midst of my rather mindless writing that parenthesis of flame from my inner narrative rings out, loud and clear.

I don’t want to be a bother, so I…

Don’t ask for what I want.

Don’t allow the person I don’t ask to show me how much he or she or they actually care and want to actually do whatever it is I am not bothering to ask them.

Not so ironically, this is another of my deeply buried and believed to the soles of my feet and the soul of my heart, “My existence is a bother and certainly the pressure of my request or interruption in someone’s life is just that unbearable so instead… I just don’t.. I won’t… I can’t.” and that has become that has become that.

Concrete barriers that actually do have the capacity to crush me like the incredible shrinking walls scene about annually on most daytime soap operas.

I’ve only been writing for four minutes? This is completely unpleasant.

What if I wasn’t a bother?

My eye is now twitching. Why am I doing this again?

Oh yes, to shift in my belief.

The timer goes off and I give myself another minute.

If I didn’t believe my existence was a bother, I might not be so fearful when asking for help. My existence is a blessing.

My existence is a blessing.

When I believe my existence is a blessing, like I was just told this morning, making requests becomes a gift. Following through becomes restorative for all of us, and peace becomes a river that has found a way.

This instantly shifted from completely unpleasant to becoming a soft blanket and pillow, a reassuring smile and a thoughtful hug.
A five minute miracle that is allowing me to use the new mantra:
“My existence is a blessing,” and I may begin to use it more than the old, unconscious, destructive thought.

I am not a bother, my existence is a blessing.

My aim today with this writing was to inspire you to #1) Explore the power of reframing your personal narrative in order to simply feel better in general and to lead a more satisfying and productive life.

Please, join me now, as I take it on 5 minutes at a time for the next 30 days. This morning I was being challenged – so I started with a quote I found by an unknown-to-me woman. I googled “inspiring quotes for women and this is what I got. I set my timer for 5 minutes and started to write.

===

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world. She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session or to request she speak at your next event, call or text her at 661.444.2735

“You remember too much,
my mother said to me recently.
Why hold onto all that? And I said,
Where can I put it down?”
― Anne Carson

I have been accused of remembering too much, holding on too tight, not being willing to forgive.

I’m working on forgiveness, a continual form of spiritual practice it seems.

I’m playing with the harmony of forgiveness and self-protection and advocacy. Where do I need to grow more? Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation, it means recognizing the other’s humanity and giving them the room to feel better, to know they aren’t causing you pain.

After all, the other side of me says – no one is capable of “making” anyone feel anything. It is a choice to feel what we feel, for the most part. When I feel crappy and depressed I feel crappy and depressed. No one makes me – circumstances may be lousy and there are times during deep rottenness I feel driven and optimistic and ready to expand into deep transformation.

(I can say clichés with the best of them.)

Thing is, I remember.

I can’t stop remembering.

I don’t want to stop remembering. (Here, try this prompt with me)

It is like telling an artist to remove certain colors from her palette. “No more purples, Julie. You need to focus solely on green.”

Doesn’t work for me.

I don’t focus only on the bad memories, either, I appreciate a memory concert. Here a memory of being the ultimate silly one, there a memory of a cloudy afternoon in 1983, I can hear the conversation, I can feel Mel’s arms wrapping me in compassion, I can feel the incredulity rising up in my chest.

I hadn’t remembered that in a couple decades but it comes to life and pours itself onto the page exactly when I need it most.

Why would I want to stop remembering? It is my ultimate super power – translating memory into words and reaching out with them to you and to you and to you.

My timer went off and I watched my neighbor slouching toward her SUV. I cant remember the last time we exchanged niceties. Perhaps, now, the memories will float up.

I think it was most likely about the tulip magnolia tree her husband planted and I was so excited I set aside her cat hating, sneering demeanor and loved her for a moment instead.

Perhaps, yes, right now, I will choose to love her in my thoughts, prayers and actions more often. If I hadn’t elected to remember, watch and continue to write from memory, I would only see the slouch and the sneer.

I will not give up my memories to you. Or him. Or her. Or them.

I will use the grace of the memories as transformational tools to work for the greatest good of all.
That feels so…. perfect. Just right, here and now.

Mindset Shift: From “I’m a Bother” to “I’m a Blessing” + Writing Prompt

Writers Talk: Memory as a Strength, A Gift, A Treasure + A Writing Prompt for You