The day before this day I had my least favorite hospital roommate.
On the step down unit from the ICU I understood I was to behave almost in the ICU way: In the stepdown I was still hooked to more wires than I would like to be. I was to stay in bed most of the day. Chill. Be calm. Do as I am told.
My roommate clearly did not want to be there. She was out of her bed almost the whole time. She made up her bed, I remembered wondering why she did that. She had visitors most of the time. Maybe it was that she was taught when you wake up you get out of bed and you make your bed right away.
I have a lot more compassion for her now than I did then, when I was fussy in my own way. Another thing she did was completely ignore my existence. The next day I was put into a new room, a windowless to me room, and my roommate was snuggling with her man when I arrived in the middle of the night.
Other people moved in and out of this room and I was stuck there for several days waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Re-reading my first day there, I can feel the crusty-ness in my writing. I refused to pretend to be cheerful in this room. In the end, it served me authentically and well.
There is no window available from my new bed. It could be anytime of day or night but the clock tells me it is 7:14 am.
I’m off the step-down unit so I was totally unprepared for the loud alarm to sound when I had the audacity to take myself to the restroom at 5:30. All I wanted was to be able to use the restroom without having the nuisance of an alarm stop me.
Today we will see whether I need dialysis or not. So many prayers for healing from friends and strangers alike. Makes me feel loved.
4:40 pm update- creatinine levels are finally declining which means things are on the mend. Please continue to pray for the rest of the way – and hopefully on Sunday I’ll be home again.
1. I am grateful to you for reading. Some of you have reflected about how I have helped you or inspired you into action I had no idea about until reading your comments here. Seeing them in writing is so helpful because I can read them and pinch myself over and over again… and smile.
2. I am grateful for TwitchTV. I got to watch Samuel having great fun last night (for those who don’t know my son is a Freshman at UNLV and plays competitive video games there that are live-streamed. It’s a great way for me to get a visual on him.) What most mommies really love.
3. I am grateful for the nurses I have gotten to know. I’m happy I moved to this floor because I saw my favorite conversation partner this week. She sang out, “Julie! I’ve been thinking of you!” Being remembered is an ultimate compliment.
2024 me says: Nurses are (mostly) saints.
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Arian Garcia for patiently live-streaming KSFs Henry V! So wonderful to sit in my room and watch. It was the best…. and my child, Emma, truly brought it. The theatre-Mom in me was impressed AND so was the director-me who often watches plays taking notes in my head. (Trying to get over that!)
People who are talented comforters (and might not even know it).
The powerful medicines of story listening AND story questioning and storytelling.
YouTube meditation videos and music.
Water