Here is what I shared on this day in 2019, five years ago:
Big news! I’ve moved from ICU to the Step Down unit! (Don’t ask what time I was woken up to be moved.)
This means I’m one step closer to leaving the hospital.
I even actually have a morning view that is more stereotypical!
I was over the top giddy about being able to be out of the ICU. I thought I would be able to get up and use the restroom alone without alarms sounding but that wasn’t true. I didn’t mention how when I was rolled out of the intensive care unit, I saw a nurse I am in a book club with who greeted me like it was an everyday occurrence to be wheeled onto her floor.
After that, I was afraid to see her again. I don’t even remember if I did see her again. This is a sure indicator of trauma – though now I remember I did see her again because we talked about sepsis and how my disorientation is normal, even expected, with sepsis.
I went on to cheerfully share my daily gratitude experience while in the hospital:
Today, I am so grateful for:
Arian Garcia for patiently live-streaming KSFs Henry V! So wonderful to sit in my room and watch. It was the best…. and my child, Emma, truly brought it. The theatre-Mom in me was impressed AND so was the director-me who often watches plays taking notes in my head. (Trying to get over that!)
The gift of tenacity at this very vulnerable, frightening and life shifting time.
People who are talented comforters (and might not even know it).
The powerful medicines of story listening AND story questioning and storytelling.
YouTube meditation videos and music.
Water
And I’m grateful for each person reading here!
by the way: this room has TWO CHAIRS!
I feel like a queen.
How do you feel today?
Revisiting this post reminds me how significant it is to honor the rocking, rolling nature of emotions during times of crisis and upset. I am so grateful for the me who I was and the me who I am and the me I am becoming. Since I started writing this blog post the sun has come out – and I may get my walk done after all.
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