Creative Life Midwife

Inspiring Artistic Rebirth

Permission to Feel & Love Grey (or Not) #covid19support

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A tree in the grey fog on a cold looking morning gives us permission to feel whatever we feel, thank goodness.

It is a grey day here in Bakersfield. I realized after being awake for about an hour I was feeling grey as well. Not dark, not light, just grey. Just grey simply grey and I didn’t and don’t have any fierce predilection to change.

I don’t even know if “predilection” fits there but I like how it sounds, so I am keeping it.

I overslept so I opted out of bed yoga and pre-rise meditation because I wanted to be on-time for my poetry livestreams.

It was cold on my porch, but I livestreamed anyway.

It is drizzling so I didn’t walk though I did take a photo of a sunshiney house in my neighborhood on a street I have always loved and wished I had the vision to push to buy the house on that cul de sac those thirty years ago when I was buying a home.

I decided to light candles and write because it is something I could do, right or wrong, I could simply opt into doing something.

My coffee is brewing and the smell is rising which brings me comfort.

The garbage was collected as always and that gives me an expansive feeling. Am I the only one who enjoys filling my trash can to be picked up? Because I house sit I have two trash cans to fill and I am doing it with such joy I think I must be more than odd and I accept that.

I give myself permission to be how I am and to feel what I feel and cherish this all whether I like it or not. I am holding my grey feelings close and loving them, not trying to change them or “make them better.” I am reminded my wedding china was “Glories on grey” by Lennox, partially because I truly love grey and partially because I deeply cherish the neighbor of my childhood, Mrs. Elder, who had a carefully curated Lenox collection. She took her time in choosing her china and the little me loved her for it.

These days of separate togetherness will look different from day-to-day and our feelings will vacillate – may we grant those around us permission to feel how they are feeling as we continue to grow in compassionate understanding to live and love what is.

Coffee mugs lifted - an invitation to join the Virtual Coffee Conversations - a way to stay intentionally connected during this time of social distancing.
If you would enjoy “hanging out” with a welcoming group of people during this time of social and physical distancing, join us in our Zoom Meeting. We meet daily from 1:30 – 2:30 PDT. Registration details are listed below.

To register via Zoom, please visit here. We also have a Facebook Event where people within the conversation will see recaps of the Coffee Conversations and resources mentioned there. To mark yourself as Interested or Attending and to see what we’ve been up to, please visit here.

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What Creative Activity is Calling You While You Social Distance?

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An invitation to creative practice while you are experiencing quarantine or social distancing.

I woke up this morning and knew my notebook was calling me so I chose not to putter, look at my instagram feed, check the latest news or otherwise distract myself, I sat down to write. I set my timer for an hour full of creative process.

I stumbled into a thread of Thoreau writing about lives of quiet desperation and Tagore writing about bird song… and I might as well have been on a writing retreat in a tucked away North Carolina cabin.

It felt so good to pay attention to the light.

It felt so good to honor the call to creativity.

It felt so good to take action instead of thinking about and talking about and considering writing – instead I wrote.

Did I write the start of the best American novel? Definitely not. Did I write a poem that will be quoted for a generation and then some like my beloved Mary Oliver? Not in the least, not even a rough rough draft of such a poem. Make that not even a triple rough draft.

Did I write sales copy for my next creative coaching program that will bring people from everywhere to enjoy the journey with me? Nope – although I did do a bit of business processing writing.

Did I write a screenplay, an inspirational essay, a thank you note, a something tangible that would make people like and appreciate me more?

No, I did not.

What I did was enjoy my process. I literally sat at my art table as the sun was coming up and enjoyed the dance of her rays hitting my page. I made a short video and noticed for the first time how my pen actually creates its own vacuum when the letters I swirl magnetize their message (that will be on my Instagram story later today.)

I planted some trees on my focus app which always makes me happy – silly and true.

Because I was sitting at my table instead of squirreled away in my room, Emma could pronounce to me she saw an opossum in our backyard! Hooray for opossums!

Before I went to sleep last night, I knew writing would be the best way to start my day. I have known this for years. Today, I took action. I smiled as I wrote and I wrote as my coffee perked and I wrote as I lived fully despite being “stuck” in my home for who knows how long because the world and the people in it deserves my cooperation.

Next up is my morning walk, which I am now calling a haiku walk.

Later today I will attend my friend Paula’s art zoom and then host the Coffee and Connected Conversation Zoom I’ve been hosting and will continue to host for friends – some of whom I have never met “in real life” and some I have.

What is calling you into connection today?

How will you honor that call?

To be inspired by joining a group of people in a Zoom “Coffee Date” you may join us at 1:30 pm today (we meet daily, you may pop in whenever you’re available.) Click this link to register now.

Julie JordanScott is a creative life coach, writer, poet, Mama extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose greatest joys include loving people into their greatness they just aren’t quite able to realize yet. To set up a complimentary exploratory session, please visit here.

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Intention: Unlimited, Infinite Love and Creativity

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I watched a video made by a group of Italian citizens last night. It sent a joint message of hope to the rest of the world. It was a window into their tenacity, a collaborative role model for unlimited imagination.

The message was one not of chaos, but of beauty and creativity and love drenched optimism.

I have been impressed with the artful expressions of surprising joy I see coming from the country which right now is at the epicenter of the COVID-19.  Planes flying in unison, in their wake leaving the colors of the Italian flag while operatic strains playing in the air is one example. Another is people standing on their balconies, singing together.

I would not normally think this would be the behavior of people in quarantine – people who have seen so many deaths in such a short amount of time. Their celebrations of creativity, of life itself, brought tears to my eyes and shone rays of light into my heart.

White vases with white flowers and a tea pot on a window sill leave an impression of optimism, a metaphor for surprises from Italy during the Coronavirus pandemic.

We must not allow ourselves to be limited by other people’s opinions, complaints or false narrative.

We must give ourselves permission to create deep and wide visions of possibility, of wonder, of deep gratitude.

If this resonates with you, please consider joining a group of us gathering daily at 1:30 PDT for Intentional conversations on a “Virtual Coffee Date” – a gathering of friends and strangers-becoming-friends where we may inspire, delight and comfort each other as we are separated because we are honoring one another’s health.

People sharing coffee drinks like we share virtual coffee drinks, tea, water or whatever we care to drink during our intentional conversations via zoom during the pandemic. Easing loneliness and amplifying connection worldwide.

This post is a part of the Women’s History Month Writing Quotes & Prompts series from Julie JordanScott, the Creative Life Midwife, and her Word-Love Writing Community you may join for free on Facebook. During March, there will be daily discussions on the quotes and prompts we present here, too. Join the conversation and improve your writing at the same time!

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One Step at a Time: Open the Door, Find the Light

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This morning I attempted to write an inspirational essay prompted by Emily Dickinson’s quote about the soul standing ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience.

Normally this fits my passionate process quite well and I am able to flip a less constructive mood quickly. This morning, my sour mood wasn’t going anywhere.  I sat in my writing corner digesting the previous night’s emotional turmoil which had turned into an emotional hangover larger than my usual.

I am a tender soul. A tender human. I am sensitive and I seem to fall down and skin my spirit like as a child I skinned my knees when I tripped and fell and skid across the playground,

Emily Dickinson's ecstatic soul ajar lesson isn't always immediately accurate

I vacillate between “can’t wait for the next thing I’m doing it is the be-all-end-all and I am being magnetized toward it…” and then something happens and my face is close to the pavement, again.

Last night when my emotional skid happened it was after my son sent me a scathing text: a long one, based on one of his ongoing gripes with me about something that happened years ago.

He doesn’t tap dance around my history of fear in regards to his life. He goes for the jugular, knowing or unknowing the guilt I haven’t effectively let go yet. My response to his anger is to stand there and take it.

When he was a little boy and couldn’t put his frustration into words, I would stand still when he pummeled me with his fists. I have never forbid him to channel his anger, though now I think a boundary is overdue.

I responded to his text with something like this, like I have said and texted many times in the past:

“I did what I thought was best. I let fear guide me too many times. You are right, I could have chosen differently.”

I am wondering how much he wants to hear about his autism diagnosis and why what happened early in his educational experience caused a wall to be built between me and many educrats, teachers and administrators.

His anger at me isn’t about the totality of me, it is about how I interfered in helping him pursue his vision and continues to impact him now.

What I noted today that I hadn’t ever before is how much this guilt I continue to harbor also builds walls against my creative process. It burrows into my softness, my tender heart, my sensitive soul and I end up pushing away the keyboard.

Yes, I was almost always afraid for my son. He went through hell when he was little and then when he was not so little and even in the months before he graduated we had yet another crisis to navigate.

Sylvia Plath wrote, “It is the hate, the paralyzing fear, that gets in my way and stops me.” In Plath’s case it stopped her from writing the short literary fiction she longed to write at the time and for me, my work flow dries up. I spent much of the day in silence, not even reading or jotting notes.

I went to Toastmasters and gave a quality evaluation and then was worthless until about ninety-minutes ago.

Writing Prompt related to Emily Dickinson's quote that invites personal reflection before ecstacy.

Like my son, after taking time to process – I felt better.

Sometimes when the soul is ajar, it doesn’t go fast forward into ecstasy, as Emily Dickinson suggests. I like to think she knew her fair share of waiting for ecstasy with a side of bits of grief and struggle and “not quite ready” yet moments.

Emily Dickinson quote image with stars and a circle, "The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience."
Portrait of Julie Jordan Scott, Creativity Coach and Creative Life Midwife

This post is a part of the Women’s History Month Writing Quotes & Prompts series from Julie JordanScott, the Creative Life Midwife, and her Word-Love Writing Community you may join for free on Facebook. During March, there will be daily discussions on the quotes and prompts we present here, too. Join the conversation and improve your writing at the same time!

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Writers: Think First of Your Readers – Wisdom from Adrienne Rich

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Poet Adrienne Rich's quote is within a pink circle which is surrounded by starts. The quote says, "I know you are reading this poem in a room where too much has happened for you to bear."

I collected quotes for Women’s History Month looking mostly for women writers I admire, I trust for their quality, and the quotes I offer are not “overdone” – seen constantly and shared constantly and overdone.

This quote from Adrienne Rich was chosen, graphic was made but I didn’t give myself space to listen to it or allow it to get close to me until it was time to add it into a post. It was then its power slayed me.

A writer standing at a white board looks down at her notepad, listening to the advice "Writers, speak to your readers." She smiles in understanding.

One of the first things I learned as a writer seeking publication was to write with my audience in mind.

In the writing workshops I facilitate I sometimes lead a visualization where the participants imagine a stadium filled with readers of their future book. In our mind’s eye, we drop into the stadium and float around watching the faces of the readers as each person reads the works-in-progress which in our imagination has now become a thoroughly enjoyed book.

It is a sort of holy silence in the stadium, eyes steadily scanning the pages at slightly different points in the story since we all read at a different pace.

I never took that exercise into where people might actually be reading our books, except for me with “Dear Autism Mom” I imagined a mom at the park, holding onto the book and reading it as she sits on a bench and her children play independently.

Perhaps this is because I remember being a younger mom, reading books while my children played, enjoying the respite except for when the needed my help to get momentum going on the swings.

In “Dedication” by Adrienne Rich, we are greeted, each person who reads her words, in a line of the poem. She speaks to the reader directly – and for me, the line “I know you are reading this in a room where too much has happened for you to bear,” reached out and pulled me close. It was like looking at myself, nose to nose, only it wasn’t me. This meant someone else was listening.

Someone else was listening to me and recognizing what I was saying as sacred.

Someone else was understanding me, someone felt compassion for what I was going through.

When we do our jobs as writers, our readers feel as if they are not alone. They sense they are a part of something bigger than themselves. They expand to become a part of the world you created with them, in a collaborative process from writer to reader and back again.

Prompt:

Take a moment to read “Dedication” by Adrienne Rich. In the link there is a recording available as well as the written poem.

Note the intricate, individualized awareness Rich has toward her readers.

Now it is your turn.

Write a list of qualities of your reader.

Bring them to life through description, description that uses multiple senses and where possible, use a setting as well. Take five minutes and write a short essay, story or poem in which you “break the fourth wall” and speak directly to the reader you describe thoroughly.

Julie JordanScott typing a love poem on the edge of a foothill of the Sierra Nevada Mountains.
Julie JordanScott typing a love poem on the edge of a foothill of the Sierra Nevada Mountains.

This post is a part of the Women’s History Month Writing Quotes & Prompts series from Julie JordanScott, the Creative Life Midwife, and her Word-Love Writing Community you may join for free on Facebook. During March, there will be daily discussions on the quotes and prompts we present here, too. Join the conversation and improve your writing at the same time!

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3 Easy Ways to Be More Creative Now

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Are you stumped to find a way to express yourself creatively?

Today in this post and in the video above, we will talk about easy ways, such simple ways to get into the creative flow.

We all get stumped and stuck with stuff from time to time. We get so busy living our lives that we never seem to have any leftover – any down time where we are able to finally get to that task of starting a blog or having our own podcast or making that video.

That’s why it is so important to honor your call to be creative – even when feel like you are too busy to do so.

  1. Learn how to create in small chunks of time.

I have been writing and publishing content since my children were babies. I would write everywhere. In hot Bakersfield summers we would go to the Fast Food places not for the food, but for the indoor playland. I would buy one soda, a milk and some French fries and my kids were happy AND COOL and I would scribble articles and outlines on the back of the tray liner.

I would carry a small notebook in my purse, though now I often use my phone for this same purpose. One of my tactics is to listen to other people’s conversations and write them down, verbatim, so I learn how people actually talk so that when I wrote dialogue, it sounds like people talking not like a writer writing like she thinks people talk.

Do you get that distinction?

On to our next easy tip to find your way back to your creativity.

2.Learn how to create in small chunks of time..

For you writers: You may believe you must do your writing in one specific place. The truth is, that is a block you have created for yourself – another way to measure up to an ideal.

Waiting for your child to get out of their gymnastics lessons, sitting in any waiting room, riding on the train from station to station – pull out your phone on the notes section and put your thoughts down. Use where you are to stir those creative juices.

You may find you get so creative “out and about” that this will become a NEW ideal – but the most valuable thing you can do is train yourself to be right and be able to create – wherever you are.

Letting go of perfectionism will help you let go of doing it in any one specific way and instead, do it where and how and whenever you find yourself.

3. Find a creative accountability buddy either short term or long term.

This is a person you will reach out to and say something like, “Hey, I am about to start my art-journaling (or writing or video making or blogging or painting or whatever it is.) and I will check in with you when I am done.”

This helps in an infinite number of ways. You will be heard, you will be encouraged and you will get more done.

How to find such a person? Seek assistance in the communities you are already a part of, for example a facebook group.

How to find your buddy?

Ask around the communities you are in right now – perhaps you are in a facebook group.

You may make your ask like this:

“Who else is struggling creatively? I would love to have an accountability buddy to check in with today.”

I know, this feels very vulnerable. That’s the thing – creativity itself is vulnerable. The better we get at being vulnerable, the better we will be as creatives. The two go hand in hand, heart to heart, soul to soul. How exciting that you will finally make what you have wanted to make and be who you have always wanted to be.

Are you ready to commit to passionate action now?

What are you going to commit to TODAY to make your creative life take shape?

Julie JordanScott typing a love poem on the edge of a foothill of the Sierra Nevada Mountains.
Julie JordanScott typing a love poem on the edge of a foothill of the Sierra Nevada Mountains.

Julie JordanScott is the Creative Life Midwife. A writer, speaker, life coach and multi-creative who “walks her talk” she provides the world fuel for creativity, intentional connection and purposeful passion in order to eradicate loneliness and the symptoms of anxiety and depression.

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Truth or…. Consequences? Better Writing? Freedom? Vulnerability?

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What truth am I ready to tell?

I feel increased frustration. Why did I write this prompt?

Why did I decide to write from it first instead of offering it to other people first?

How am I supposed to even begin talking (or) writing (or) be willing to be vulnerable enough to take this one in any decent narrative?

Right in that moment I wanted to shut down completely, but something jostled me so I finally stop worrying about narrative or getting it right or anything except filling the five minutes with the tapping on the keyboard.

Five minutes on the timer and… write. I started with something easy to address, something obvious.

I am ready to tell the truth… I am happier with my hair colored than when I was attempting to grow it into its natural state.

Maybe if I hadn’t gotten sick I would be rushing back to going grey/white again but I simply feel more bright spirited with my hair the color it is now – I actually feel more freedom to experiment with it again.

In all honesty, the only thing I liked about my grey adventure was the whitest part of my hair and the purple streak Jolie painted into my hair every time I visited her.

Other than that, I felt pretty hideous about my appearance most if not all of the time. I stopped looking at myself in mirrors. It certainly didn’t help with the overall malaise I was feeling.

I am not ready to tell the full truth of my near-death experience in October. Recently I found myself quite willing to tell one friend more details than normal. That was a surprise and actually felt optimistic and eye-opening.

I am ready to tell the truth of my anger about some of what I observe in special education. I am ready to tell the truth (with some changed names) in the book I am finally editing – again.

Again, more truth tumbles out: when I reviewed the last edits, I will tell you the truth that version of me had it a lot of it wrong. J Sometimes when editing, our true writing voice gets sucked dry. That’s not what this book is about, especially.

This book is messy and tired and frustrated and ebullient.

I am ready to tell the truth – and grow in my ability to share what I feel and know and think – without fear of retribution and abandonment.

Truthfully, I am stronger to face both of those because I have experienced both abandonment and retribution and discovered through the process I am bolder and more resilient than I could have ever known without them.

Five minutes later – time is up and I feel infinitely better than I did when I sat down to write.

What a joy!

And now it is your turn to write:

  • What truth are you ready to tell right now?
  • TIPS:
  • Start with an “easy” truth if you have any hesitation, like I did with my grey hair. You might start with “I don’t like broccoli” or “I love watching the Bachelor.
  • Keep writing until the five minutes are up.
  • Allow yourself to follow the flow of the pencil (or pen or fingers on the keyboard). They will take the writing where it needs to go.

Julie JordanScott, the Creative Life Midwife, is committed to Eradicate Loneliness through intentional connection, passionate purpose and creative expression. Sign up now to stay connected with the movement and receive inspirational emails to insure you will minimize loneliness for yourself and those you love. Visit EradicateLoneliness now to sign up for free.

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Care and Compassion Question for Transformation: What if…

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How many of us treat others with much more care and compassion than we do ourselves?

What is up with that?

Today I am thinking about how I might feel about myself if I spoke myself with the same kindness and curiosity I speak with others.

In fact, it just happened. I started straying off course, I was searching something about “my why” via the work of Simon Sinek and the next thing I knew, I was about ready to start watching another 15 minute video.

I had forgotten I committed to writing for 20 minutes: or rather, writing this blog post (which I wanted to also make into social media posts in Instagram and maybe twitter and on my facebook page and group.)

I actually said aloud, “Oh my gawsh, I got lost again.”

Because I had just read this prompt, I stopped myself and said, “What would you say to a loved one?”

Soft smile, “Julie, hey… let’s come back here to the prompt, remember?”

The Version of me that was off course would look up, sheepishly…. “He is just soooo good!” and then, “I can’t believe I got lost again.”

The compassionate soul-leader-me would respond, “You were just distracted momentarily. You know who and where you are and you know how delightful it is to find people who believe optimistically about humankind like you do… so let’s spread the word….”

And the two-versions-of-me merge again.

All is well.

All is better than well when I treat myself with the same tenderness and care as I treat others.

Prompt: What would happen if you treat yourself with the same tenderness and care as you treat others?

Julie JordanScott writing personalized love poetry.

Julie JordanScott is a multi-creative who lives in Bakersfield with her daughter, Emma, in an eighty-year-old house with two palm trees in her yard. She loves writing and reading poetry, sitting by the Kern River and learning new quirky facts about literary grannies and what makes people tick. Her current project is finding ways to end the secret epidemic facing the US – with 60% of Americans affected by it. This love poetry project is another way she is working to eradicate loneliness – more information may be found on how you may be involved in the cause at EradicateLoneliness.com

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Today: A Two-Miracle Discovery Day

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It looked like an otherwise ordinary day but deep inside, I knew it wasn’t.

I made two back-to-back miraculous discoveries once I survived the early morning extreme cold.

Yes, the miracles started with a freezing cold breath of air – to people in Central California, temperatures dipping under freezing may as well be the arctic tundra. We aren’t accustomed to such cold and in this case, neither were my lungs.

Since my bout with pneumonia which lead to sepsis I have been keenly aware of sudden pain, especially in my lungs or in my upper chest. I know the most recent CT scan showed there is still an unclear spot on my lungs and this causes concern for me.

My morning haiku went like this:

Surprise! Freezing inhale
Ice pick poking in my lung’s
upper right portion –

I went inside, started making coffee and sat with my notebook, using my writing practice as a container for insights of wellness and a catalog of what my mind was holding onto.

Two pages down, I decided to eat a bowl of cereal for breakfast and take my morning vitamins. It was here when the miracle came clearly into form.

First, I realized Aldi’s fake Life Cereal tastes better than the original. It is the perfect level of sweet, yet not too sweet. Normally I am not brave enough to try off-brand cereals, but this makes me willing to try their fake Special K next, which is my favorite cold cereal.

Second, Geritol truly is a miracle elixir. Whenever I take it, especially on a regular basis, everything in life feels better. It is right up there with daily writing practice and creative collaboration of all types.

My lungs feel better, I am ready to take on my day after yesterday’s rather disappointing end, Emma is even cheerful. After all, I suggested she take Geritol as well. It seems to have worked.

It didn’t take a trip to a faraway island or an expensive gift, it simply took a shift in mindset from moving my pencil and lovingly taking care of my health continually.

Writing practice and Geritol, anyone?

Miracles are around us all the time. The simplest question is, are we ready to notice them?

Your prompts for today:

What miracles have you noticed so far today?

What was a recent “big” miracle in your life? What was a recent “humble” miracle? Set your timer for five minutes and write about them, right now – or commit to doing so, later.

Julie JordanScott, the Creative Life Midwife, has been working with people to clarify their life purpose and inspire artistic rebirth since for more than two decades. Her work on stage and as a theater director have magnified her passion for the poetry of living. She currently has two openings in her life coaching practice. Perhaps you are ready to experience a transformational coaching conversation to see how you would best work together to collaborate on creating your next big thing? Click here to request your complimentary session now.

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The Mini-Counter Cultural Guide to Loving Mondays

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I love Mondays. I have for years – since I stopped being employed by local government, anyway.

Monday is a fresh start, a chance to begin again. A new calendar page, a renewed attitude, different chapter, a white canvas to splash colors upon all await on this first day of the week.

Intellectually I know this is a false construct. Logically the realization is there.  I could just as easily choose to do as Mary Shelley advised “The beginning is always today” no matter what day of the week it happens to be.

In 2020, for example, I have been reviewing my weekly goals and plans NOT on Monday, but on Wednesday as an ongoing homage to the beginning of the year being on a Wednesday. It is refreshing – and fits in with a mid-week review that brings me to a mid-week revitalization.

For this week, I intend to look at every day as a fresh, brand new, just opened canvas for me to paint anything I would like upon it. My intention is gesso, the colors are my perspective and off we go.

What might happen if you lived as if every day was a brand new white canvas?

Portrait of Mary Shelley, author of Frankenstein, who also loved new beginnings, every day.

What might happen next week if this week you decide to love Mondays?

Take a moment to write along with Mary Shelley – who was the woman writer who brought the world “Frankenstein” and was tangentially the second wife of the poet, Percy Shelley.

Prompt: If I lived like today was a brand new start in my life, I would….. write for five minutes, free flow writing style, and afterwards determine what message your renewed life wants to tell you.

Julie JordanScott, the Creative Life Midwife, has openings for two creative life coaching clients. She works with people like you who are ready to move beyond their previous blocks and into a purposeful, productive and satisfying life. Request your Complimentary Transformational Coaching Session today here.

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