Today marks another day when I climbed into silence, leaving no trace for future me to know what was going on during the time and space that was the end of October, 2019.
I may have talked to my parents or Samuel or Katherine but more likely I snuggled into the recliner and gazed out the window from across the room.
Knowing my internal struggles, I may have been looking for reasons I was to blame for the circumstances I found myself in. One of my childhood lessons I took very much to heart was taking responsibility without fail.
If I was responsible for almost dying, I was also responsible for choosing to live.
Unfortunately, in those early days I was slow to pivot into seeing the bright side.
Instead, I leaned into self-loathing and punishment. I forced myself in a modified solitary confinement.
I found this quote from Jeanne Marie Laskas which describes it quite well.
“Isolation is aloneness that feels forced upon you, like a punishment. Solitude is aloneness you choose and embrace.”
In the five years since my near-death experience, I have learned to do aloneness and solitude to the point of an art form.
Perhaps this is part of the calling to this blog series – to see what sort of inner repair work might still be helpful to the now and future me. Self-examination through writing has always been the closest I have to uncover and then shed the layers that hold me back and deter the metamorphosis.
I am being called now to continue the process which translates into being an empowered leader of my own metamorphosis.
During this final week of this blog series, you are invited to witness and learn from what we discover here.
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✍🏻I am a writer first, writing & creativity coach, multi passionate creative next. Writing has always been my anchor art and to her I always return. Thankfully, with great love.
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