Five years ago today marks the end of my “Before Valley Fever Era”, Near Death and Beyond. It feels eerie to realize how little documentation I have from those days—especially for someone like me, who usually captures everything.
Between September 23 and November 27, 2019, I didn’t upload a single photo to Flickr.
Today, the detective in me returns to the evidence left behind, scanning this big, empty gap in my timeline, wondering, “What was happening?”
On this day in 2019, I went to Kaiser – the HMO I belong to. My doctor diagnosed me with walking pneumonia and possibly Valley Fever (Coccidioidomycosis, a lung infection caused by inhaling fungal spores). I felt terrible, but it hadn’t even crossed my mind that it could be something as serious as Valley Fever.
In addition to getting the prescribed Valley Fever medication, I went to my favorite health food store and grabbed a super green smoothie and a shot of some healing tonic. I only know this because of photos on my phone that I never shared.
I also took a picture of Emma wearing her Shakespeare Festival t-shirt. Just days before, I attended a networking event. I was barely present but still valiantly showing up, trying to play along.
I had a headshot taken around that time—it looked fine, but even then, I knew it didn’t quite capture me. Now, I understand why. I recall bumping into my favorite floral entrepreneur, Amanda Klawitter of House of Flowers. I was barely coherent, apologizing for my demeanor, trying so hard to “be better,” whatever that meant to me back then.
Looking back, I realize I’ve always been someone who tries their hardest, who doesn’t want to let others down, who worries about appearing weak, all while carrying the weight of the world in my DNA.
The fact that I went to my doctor at Kaiser at all is remarkable. Historically, I was so focused on nurturing others that pausing to address my own breathing difficulties felt like an anomaly.
Five years ago today, Samuel was off at UNLV, and Emma was home in Bakersfield with me. We had no idea that a much larger event was just around the corner—one that would make lung diseases like mine a shared experience across the world.
What were you doing on October 3, 2019?
With Love,
Julie
Creative Life Coach & Muse Cultivator
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I am a writer first, writing & creativity coach, multi passionate creative next. Writing has always been my anchor art and to her I always return. Thankfully, with great love.
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I have to admit, I had never heard of Valley Fever before reading your post, and it’s eye-opening to learn about its impact. Smiling through the pain is something I think many women experience, often putting ourselves last so that others can thrive. However, it’s essential to prioritize our own well-being. By taking care of ourselves, we can also be more supportive to those around us.
I’m so glad you are here to celebrated 5 years after your Valley Fever. I have never heard of that! As for what I was doing today, 5 years ago, I was probably baking something while Lia who was 13 months old at the time was watching me!
Hi Julie, I am so sorry to read about your ordeal. Good thing you took the time to see a doctor ❤️🩹
Thanks to Facebook Memories I can tell you exactly what I was doing on October 3, 2019: We were exploring Paris, France 🇫🇷
5 years ago, I was just trying to get to work after having a stroke that left me with communication challenges. Hugs to you! I had never heard of Valley Fever until your post. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It is through sharing our story that we help others thrive.
I am so thankful to hear your story. I have had similar devastating diagnosis’ that started on Feb 15 2024. I am still on medical leave, pounding the keyboard and learning to blog.
On October 3, 2019. I was closing my child care center. Thank goodness! COVID was around the corner, and it never would have made it through that.
Thanks for sharing your story with us!
I think I was participating in the October blog challenge. I’m SO glad you decided to go to the doctor! It’s interesting that you’re taking a look back at what was happening before your world changed so drastically. During the months before my mother died, I remember evacuating because of some hurricane. We went to stay with my aunt Sandra in Charlotte. And then my aunt Jeanne, who lived a couple of hours away, talked to me on the phone one night and was unresponsive in the hospital a day or so later. So we ended up staying in that general area for about a month. And then less than a month after we got back home, my mom was diagnosed with cancer.