After writing from a deeply emotional space yesterday, I am stepping into a more lighthearted arena today. I will be back in the deep zone in the next couple days – and I have found my healing works best when I recognize it and give myself pause to remember the times when belonging came easily.
There is a reason I enjoyed driving for a rideshare company: I am primarily openhearted and the instant connections I made with people as I drove them to their destinations was such fun.
This wasn’t true with every single person I drove, but it was uncanny how many people would be 100% vulnerable with me shortly after they got into my car. I gave away free books and some decent conversation as well and sometimes referred to myself as a bartender on wheels without the alcohol.
Yesterday at work I had two separate episodes where I felt instant belonging with new people I met who also work at the school. One I had met before but never had a conversation with until yesterday.
In the first conversation we bonded – connected – felt a sense of belonging when we both confessed to appreciate skunks, up close and personal.
The second person I had emailed but never met. I have actually seen him but didn’t know who he was. We connected over the Camino de Santiago. Hiking and walking with a soul purpose.
If you have been following me for any amount of time, you know I have been hiking regularly as an adult since 2020 but have loved being on trail since I was a very little girl. It was my father who introduced me to the Appalachian Trail and since moving to New Jersey in 2022 so close to “The AT” I have been fascinated with long hikes.
The second person was thrilled to talk about “The Camino” and when my excitement matched his, we stayed late after school. I apologized – but he reassured me he loved talking about this and I thought, “Wait a second. This energy feels so familiar.”
His parents also watch his toddler like I watch my grandbaby. With so many instantaneous belonging key points including him loaning me a book about a Grandma Hiker and me exuberantly telling him to look into Peace Pilgrim I realized this could be an ongoing friendship.
If this sounds foreign to you, remember what it is that creates belonging: In this series we are looking at belonging as an experience of living, working, playing, creating and growing vulnerably with others within a community who are committed and devoted to care for one another – even if it is a temporary, 5-minute community. With belonging, we don’t just talk about caring for one another, we act with care towards one another in a context of transparency, acceptance and openness. All emotions are welcome.
When we see, hear and listen closely to the people we are in relationship with, we are forging a space of belonging.
A smile, a greeting, an extra awareness and kindness all cultivate an environment that says, “I am glad you are here, on this planet.” Everyday, surprise moments of belonging can be great practice for offering compassion and love to those we share our lives with everyday.
The bonus is the ripple effect of each person walking away from an interaction smiling.
Can you remember a 5-minute time of belonging? Please tell us about it in the comments.
Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she has recently finished her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.
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I love your description of belonging! I’ve had lots of 5-minute experiences like that. Usually the commonality is feeling like the other person and I are the same in some way. But I experience moments like that on social media, too.
The many writing communities that I belong to are my true place of belonging. I write poetry and wellness article. Knowing that I am helping others with my writing is my biggest joy.