Last week I said to one of the teachers at the school where I work, “This year my goal is to focus on creating a sense of belonging: both for the students and for me.”
I didn’t plan this conversation before the words sprang from my mouth.
As I heard myself give voice to what was asking to be explored it immediately started taking form.
I realized it was one of those soul things where the intention rises up from the mysterious depths within. I was reminded of almost twenty years ago when I set a goal on a website called 43things.com when I created a goal to “Honor My Son’s Uniqueness.”
Maybe it was time to honor my own uniqueness through using my experiences with belonging on a personal level. I knew this quarterly blogging challenge was coming up.
It seemed like the perfect opportunity and chose to honor this focus by taking steps to develop my personal concept of Self-Belonging and bring it to life.
Why is Self-Belonging Significant?
I remember in my junior year of high school my history teacher mentioned students in “The B Tier” – who don’t get validated for the wonderful people they are. He didn’t seem to realize how many of us were floundering in the C, D, E, K, L, V, Y and beyond.
In my adventures in Self-Belonging, I would say my level of self-acceptance has vacillated over my life history. Researcher Brene Brown tells us belonging begins with self-acceptance.
At some point between when my history teacher talked about “The B Tier” and I thought “I must be on the T or V Tier” and today, my self-acceptance may have fallen way off the radar. To use a metaphor, my self-acceptance may be what Pluto is to our solar system.
Pluto is no longer a planet. At my age and with my experiences, perhaps I inadvertently rendered self-acceptance irrelevant. No longer something to even consider.
Is Self-Acceptance Difficult for Other People?
Another surprising thing was listening to women at a California Women’s leadership conference – hearing the insecurities of the upper echelon of our society – admired by many – who also spoke in clips and phrases that said they also don’t feel a sense of high self-worth or a sense of belonging, either.
I had recently experienced the death of my mother and a very messy (for me) aftermath which I won’t go into right now. I can only do so much vulnerable sharing at once. (If I was speaking, this is where I would attempt to stifle an uncomfortable laugh.)
Amidst all of this thought and quite a bit of journaling and reflection, I heard we had 100 Days left of 2023.
Here and Now: 91 More Days of 2023
During the 31 Days of October, we will focus on self-belonging as a means to leading a more satisfying life. My intention is you will glean a new understanding of yourself and others from a mindful consideration of what I offer here.
The posts will not be lengthy, they will be meaningful, vulnerable and transparent. They may challenge your thought – which I believe is good. That means we’re growing.
Finally, I am grateful you are reading. I look forward to seeing how this month unfolds for each and all of us.
Julie Jordan Scott is a multi-passionate creative who has served people worldwide as a creative life coach, an inspiring voice in the darkness and a presence in her writing, creativity and teaching in workshops, webinars, group facilitation and more.
Watch this space for more as the month unfolds.
Jeanine Byers says
I have definitely struggled, throughout my life, with feeling like I don’t belong. I’ve even felt like I don’t belong on this planet. But thankfully, one way I know I do belong is to God and my spirit team. And that does make all the difference!
Lokilani Raiyne says
I’m learning to love myself and accept my uniqueness (as you put it). it’s no easy task but your post gave me a sense of hope. I look forward to reading more.
jjscreativelifemidwife says
Yes, having a spirit team definitely helps. Like you, I have wondered about my belonging on the planet, too. One might think after a near death experience when I made the choice… that would be that. I would be done. And… it hasn’t been that easy.
I’m grateful for your comment and your authenticity.
Laurie Cover says
I can agree that we all have worth that God created us with. He made us each unique and has great plans for each of us!
So glad He doesn’t leave us in our mess, but uplifts us to be all that we can be!
God bless!
Laurie
Elisa Heisman says
This is such an important topic. The longer I remain unemployed, the more my sense of belonging is impaired. Am I still good enough? Can I really do this? Where will I fit in? So many questions. I’m sure I’ll gain inspiration as I journey through this process with you.
BTW – Have you listened to Julia Louis-Dreyfuss’ podcast called “Wiser Than Me”? She interviews women like Jane Fonda and Ruth Reichel among others who have gems of wisdom on this topic and more. It’s truly a gift to listen to. Highly recommend!
XO- Elisa
jjscreativelifemidwife says
I have listened to “Wiser than me” but not every episode. I will definitely give it some more time and attention.
I am grateful for your kind words about inspiration from this series. I went back to work in January after being a solopreneur for decades. I have enjoyed it most of the time and I have grown much more than I expected. It is that work that propelled me into this topic.
Martha says
Welcome back to another UBC! Sounds like a great topic and I’m looking forward to reading more.
Tamara says
Creating a sense of belonging for yourself and your environment is a wonderful goal, and I hope you’re finding it easier than it sounds.
I am very sorry for your loss.