It is a grey day here in Bakersfield. I realized after being awake for about an hour I was feeling grey as well. Not dark, not light, just grey. Just grey simply grey and I didn’t and don’t have any fierce predilection to change.
I don’t even know if “predilection” fits there but I like how it sounds, so I am keeping it.
I overslept so I opted out of bed yoga and pre-rise meditation because I wanted to be on-time for my poetry livestreams.
It was cold on my porch, but I livestreamed anyway.
It is drizzling so I didn’t walk though I did take a photo of a sunshiney house in my neighborhood on a street I have always loved and wished I had the vision to push to buy the house on that cul de sac those thirty years ago when I was buying a home.
I decided to light candles and write because it is something I could do, right or wrong, I could simply opt into doing something.
My coffee is brewing and the smell is rising which brings me comfort.
The garbage was collected as always and that gives me an expansive feeling. Am I the only one who enjoys filling my trash can to be picked up? Because I house sit I have two trash cans to fill and I am doing it with such joy I think I must be more than odd and I accept that.
I give myself permission to be how I am and to feel what I feel and cherish this all whether I like it or not. I am holding my grey feelings close and loving them, not trying to change them or “make them better.” I am reminded my wedding china was “Glories on grey” by Lennox, partially because I truly love grey and partially because I deeply cherish the neighbor of my childhood, Mrs. Elder, who had a carefully curated Lenox collection. She took her time in choosing her china and the little me loved her for it.
These days of separate togetherness will look different from day-to-day and our feelings will vacillate – may we grant those around us permission to feel how they are feeling as we continue to grow in compassionate understanding to live and love what is.
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It’s been on the gloomy side here too but on days like this I seem to get a lot done. We received a new fabrics for our Minky blankets and when I put them together it brings me sunshine and happy thoughts.
The blankets sound great. What a blessing you are and they are! Bakersfield didn’t seem to have a winter and now, all of a sudden, we are having one.
Between the weather (rain, fog and overcast days) – I’m glad managed to hit the high 80’s yesterday. Being quarantined first at the hospital for 2 weeks and now home for the last 3 is starting to look like the ‘new’ norm.
I’ve been able to start crafting a little bit each day and work on genealogy things so that’s helped. For the most part, I’m staying upbeat – if only my health would…
Funny how something like Covid-19 brings people together in ways that we just take for granted…definitely puts a new concept to gratitude.
Reflection of life, self, people, family, and things has a whole new meaning – don’t you agree?
Yes, indeed. I was ill last Fall and was also in my own quarantine – so my compassion is running very high for people. I am following up with an essay specifically on gratitude. Big shift with gratitude, definitely.
I feel as mad as hell. It’s how I feel and it has to be ok. I’m not going to berate myself for it.
Express it! Absolutely. No reason to berate yourself. Be angry, share that anger – make a difference with it.