Rewriting the Narrative – Creative Life Midwife

Be helpful, not harmful, to a person who is grieving

November 23, 2021 by jjscreativelifemidwife 1 Comment

What to do about grief shame: do not harm a hurting person. Woman sits in front of a rainy window.

I am an accomplished griever. I have lost people I have loved, places and community connections, jobs, pets, relationships, social standing and physical health.

Sometimes I think this is because I have a big heart and have loved many people. We risk grief when we love.

Part of the gift repeated grief brings is the ability to help both those who are going through it AND helping people who love grievers and don’t have any idea where to turn to figure out how to continue to love this person who is hurting. This is especially challenging because the person who is grieving may or may not be able to communicate well at the height of the grief process, during the holiday season and around important events like weddings, birthdays or funerals for years to come.

Below are some situations I have encountered as a person who has grieved and as one who has helped and supported people through the grief process for many years.

Your Job is NOT to fix, make better, take away emotions of or scold a person who is feeling sorrow, trauma or pain.

Your job is to connect with the person who is grieving. Your job is to show empathy and caring.

The worst things you can do are shame the person who is grieving by saying things like:

“You aren’t over it yet?” or “Stop crying” or “Don’t feel that way” or “Pull up your big girl panties already. I only grieved for XX amount of time.”

This short video from Brene Brown shows us succinctly how to express empathy for people who are hurting and/or grieving.

The Grieving Person is not responsible to create your to-do list for being a good friend.

If I had a penny for all the times people said: “If you need anything, call me….” because grieving people often don’t have the energy or motivation to know what they might need or know what you might have any desire to provide during her time of hurt.

It is difficult enough to make requests under usual circumstances, but when mired in grief it is nearly impossible.

If you would like to do something for the person who is grieving, offer several specific options such as “Hey, hey I am going to the grocery store – is there anything I can pick up for you while I am out?” or “I’m taking some clothes to the dry cleaner – may I take your things, too?” or “Would you like company? I am headed to Starbucks and would be happy to swing by with your favorite drink OR could pick you up and we can drive through together.”

You may also say your version of, “I want to help and I don’t know what to do. I am literally nervous that everything and anything I do or say is wrong, so please accept permission to guide, direct, ask for me to do things for you, to be places with you…. and I will keep checking in, at least.”

Your job is to be present, awkward in your skin if necessary, and be gentle and patient.

One of my preferred methods of caring for my loved ones who are grieving is to reach out to them regularly, most often via text or phone call.

I have some friends I texted daily for months when they were going through tough times.

When my father died last year, I wondered where my daily text messages from friends were?

I don’t say this to evoke text messages now, I say this to let you know your strongest friends need loving attention, too. They will treasure your awkwardness because more likely than not they are awkward. Every time we grieve something new, it is like the first time all over again… plus it is the first time grieving that person or circumstance.

First times are always awkward.

It also would have been helpful if I had reached out to trusted friends and asked for their text messages. A few years ago when I was going through a difficult break-up I asked friends if I could text them “Good night” because one of the hardest things for me was not having a person to participate in the normal ritual of saying goodnight.

My friends had no way of knowing this was important to me. Thankfully I was strong and aware enough to ask for the support.

Final words: Be gentle, don’t disappear and try your best. When you don’t do your best – apologize and stay attentive to the person you love who is grieving.

Repeat as necessary.

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

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What is the Admission Price to the Path Out of Fear?

November 20, 2021 by jjscreativelifemidwife 11 Comments

A small part of the Appalachian Trail is a piece of the story of the Path out of fear - and overcoming a challenge as written by Julie JordanScott

Yesterday I was writing a fairly innocuous seeming caption to a photo on facebook. I post photos to facebook on most days because of my personal #377TreeHug project. I use my facebook page as a means of documentation and accountability. Yesterday was no exception.

I had a marvelous tree hug of a hickory tree on the Appalachian Trail and I was extremely excited to post about it.

In one caption I wrote, “I love how the nuts are here to feed the animals. Once in childhood we saw a porcupine near the trail. I was scared of everything (even lightning bugs) so I had visions of the porcupine shooting quills at me from a distance… and was also convinced there were bears lurking inside fallen trees. How I survived and even loved these adventures even while petrified I’ll never know.”

I re-read my words and sat back in my chair, shocked at the truth within that seemingly simple, ordinary caption.

I was scared of everything (even lightning bugs)….. How I survived and even loved these adventures even while petrified I’ll never know.”

I was also teased unmercifully for my fear, which made it even worse.

I was afraid of things. I was afraid of being afraid of things. I was afraid to express my fear so I did my best to hide my fear, at all costs.

Somehow I did all this as a child and it continued – and in some ways continues still, today.

I realized the facts were to spend treasured time with my father, I would need to pay the price of admission. The fee was a lot of faking courage. I needed to be comfortable with pretending my fear didn’t exist or hiding my fear under an enthusiastic seeming smile.

I hid my fear by proclaiming my trust in God.

I hid my fear by looking on the bright side. I remember when my daughter died, for example, I comforted myself by saying, “God must have chosen me to have my daughter die because He knew I am strong enough.”

I hid my fear by doing things other people fear like being an actor and performing poetry in front of audiences and becoming a public speaker.

The thing is, those things don’t scare me, they exhilarate me.

Slowly, I hid myself and withdrew almost completely when I had too many sequential challenges. I no longer had the energy to show up because hiding one’s fear is exhausting. Exhausting one’s shame over being afraid is even more exhausting.

It was easier to disappear and infinitely painful when the people you love don’t even seem to notice.

Mary Oliver wrote in one of her most well known poems, “The Journey”

But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do—
determined to save
the only life you could save.

In the depths of my sorrow and sadness of hiding and pretending pain didn’t exist, I had many difficult conversations with myself.

Shonda Rimes in her book “Year of Yes” reminded me eloquently this week, “I know on the other side of that difficult conversation lies peace. Knowledge. An answer delivered. Character is revealed. Truces are formed. Misunderstandings are resolved.”

Having time alone here in my “Long Term Self Care and Artist Retreat” I have had a lot of time alone to have tough conversations with myself. Real conversations with myself. Experimental conversations with myself.

There have been tears and laughter, tree hugs and walks, deep dives into memory, discovery and my dear old companion, fear.

It feels like everything up until now has just been practice for this and what is coming up in the next few months as I finish my book projects and continue to build my life coaching practice, do more speaking and keep showing up on video and here, on my blog and on social media.

I am doing things that scare me every single day, sometimes subconsciously I am getting tapped on the shoulder divinely or intuitively to take a closer or deeper look. I am no longer afraid of lightning bugs or bears or porcupine quills.

I still get a bit nervous about criticism from people I love or worse – people not caring at all.

I am not hiding and that, dear reader, is the best victory of all.

I could have told you today about my near death experience or many other twists and uncomfortable turns along the path, but this feels most like what we needed to talk about today.

What challenges have you overcome?

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Sunrise at the Manse: An Invitation to Deep Healing & Creativity

November 14, 2021 by jjscreativelifemidwife 10 Comments

Earlier was a morning like most other mornings: leaning against my pillows after writing brief notes in my journal and experiencing a morning meditation, I felt peaceful and calm.

Soul Practices Open Windows in Many Ways

I was looking with a soft gaze that caught the sun as she peeked over the horizon and shone her rays of light into the window across from my bed. It was as if the sun was a young child, waving as she reaches up from under the covers, “I am here, let’s play again….” accompanied by the soft exhale with the slightest projection of the intention “this is going to be a good day.”

Tears fill my eye in the memory of earlier this morning and for so many sunrise mornings across my years.

My life is so different than it was a year ago yet also in many ways the same.

I am across the country from where I was, in the mornings I face east as is my favored direction.

Clear Desire: Spoken and Repeated

I am not sure how many years ago I boldly proclaimed, “If I ever move, I must have a house with an east facing porch and a bonus would be having a bedroom that faces east.” I know I said so, repeatedly – without expecation or attachment.

In my house in Bakersfield, the living room faces east. The kitchen faces east. These are the spaces I was often in as the day began. Many mornings of writing when my children were little started at the kitchen table in the dark. They would file in and sit beside me – knowing simply by silent association this was important Mommy time. When my three pages were done I would look up and address whatever it was they might desire.

Now my children are grown and I am living for a time in a manse beside the church where my daughter works.

By a miracle of divine appointment, the house has an eastern facing porch and the sun makes her appearance every day through the window of the bedroom I chose when Katherine asked which room I would like as my bedroom I asked, “Which one has the best morning light?”

An Unexpected Invitation to Healing

I am experiencing a season of deep healing I didn’t realize I needed as badly as I do.

There is a part of me that struggles to explain what it feels like to realize these blessings are safe to receive. There is a bigger part of me that is self-trolling or gaslighting, urging me not to be crazy enough to share such vulnerabilities as I am in writing and sharing this moment with you.

How can I not share how dreams come true in ways unexpected and beautiful?

How can I not share the rewards of healing after so many years is still possible, sacred and holy?

I will continue to hold these moments close AND share them wildly and as widely as the invitation calls. Maybe this resonates with you on some level – synchronicity happens – and perhaps this invitation is for you as well as for me. Speak up (if you would like) or pause, wait and reach out to me later. These blogs will continue appearing – invitation, issued, repeatedly.

Julie JordanScott is a multipassionate creative who delights in inviting others into their own fullhearted, artistic experience via her creativity coaching individually or in groups, courses and workshops. To receive inspiring content and videos weekly and find out more about Coaching, Courses, Challenges and what’s going on in the Creative Life Midwife world? Subscribe here:

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Staying the Course While Pausing a Few Days to Heal

November 13, 2021 by jjscreativelifemidwife 4 Comments

I have been absent from blog posting for the past three days after starting off this month of the Ultimate Blog Challenge at a very strong space. I wasn’t expecting to feel under the weather.

After starting out this month with a lot of posts “in the can” to suddenly hit the wall was surprising.

It is also not like me to pull back, willingly.

Usually I will fight, deny or pretend it isn’t happening.

I pretend I don’t care if I give up on an important project like the ultimate blog challenge.

Sometimes I give up entirely but this time. This time, I took an entirely different approach.

I consciously took excellent care of myself, participating minimally outside of lounging on the sofa or in bed. I did prepare healthy meals and snacks for myself, tea and honey and lots and lots of water.

Alternatives to my “I always do “it” this way” helped the process.

I listened to books instead of reading.

I treated myself with gentleness: simple things like moving my teakettle upstairs to my bedside helped.

I allowed my heart to stay open and followed where it called me to go – and where it called me to stay.

Most importantly, I didn’t allow myself to follow my not-feeling-physically well into a flat-out-fear-state. I did have brief sessions in the fear-hallways of my mind, but they were brief. My higher self escorted my fearful self out with great gentleness and compassion.

I didn’t realize it, but caretaking myself and showing this level of self-trust allowed me to open my heart more widely than it is been for years. My spirit opened herself to show aspects of my story I hadn’t been able to access before.

You will be hearing about this over the next few blog posts – I sincerely hope you will return to read.

I have always been one of those “Get back on the horse!” and “Stay the course at all costs” and “Show up above everything!” and I am still that way. However, I am also deeply rooted in compassion – this time, for me. Brene Brown reminds us “If our dispositions aren’t conditioned through self-compassion or self-worth, vulnerability stands to trigger our fears and insecurities — hence, throwing us into survival mode overdrive.”

Honest and truthful self-reflection works wonders

I might have said in the past, “Naturally I am compassionate with myself” but when I step back I can see how much I allowed expectations and personal culture norms to get in the way of my own gentle, nurturing guidance. Instead of survival mode overdrive, which would have lead to a longer time of not feeling up to par, I invested time of deep rest and loving self-care in the worst days of feeling badly.

Even as I type these words, I am planning to take a rest afterwards so I don’t overdo it.

I have heard other people say they are also more gentle with others than themselves. What is your experience with gentleness towards yourself and for others?

Do you feel like you are less of a person if you take your time to heal? I would love to hear from you in the comments.

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Make Space for Hopes, Goals, Dreams & Passion in Your Calendar

November 8, 2021 by jjscreativelifemidwife 4 Comments

I know what it is to be a busy, creative entrepreneur with a family, a business and outside commitments that keep me busy. Sometimes it is a challenge to ask ourselves straight up questions like:

What items on my calendar reflect how I honor my hopes, dreams, goals and passions?

Because I know how important it is for each of us, I am going to go through the process myself. Warning: I get very vulnerable and honest. You may or may not feel comfortable doing the same AND that is completely fine. The best place to start is where you are right now.

Through this exercise I learned I needed to start on the edge of where I am right now.

I recently moved 3,000 miles from home partially because my calendar had been prioritized almost exclusively on making life work better for other people.

Assess What Went Wrong with Authenticity and Honesty

When I look back, I can say “I don’t know how this happened!” or I can be honest and see the slow moving tilting into “other people’s things matter more than mine” and “people seem to love me more when I do things for them at the expense of moving my projects forward.”

If only I had started looking at my calendar according to me hopes, dreams, goals and passions I might have been able to stop the downward spiral before making such a drastic move.

Maybe I could have made this move because it feels good instead of because I was too afraid to even begin to put it into words what was happening.

Maybe if I stopped worrying about what I should be doing and instead took a more balanced approach between what would best serve my goals and ambitions and what would serve the ambitions of my children, my partner and my collaborative partners – there would have been breathing room left for me to work on the callings of my heart.

Step Back So The Reality is More Clear

Now that I have stepped back, I can see the genesis of this schism started due to trauma layered upon trauma layered upon trauma without taking time to heal, stretch or process in between the traumatic events.

I went to therapy intermittently, but I didn’t ever go deep enough or out far enough beyond the traumatic episode to make peace and completely integrate the trauma.

There was always a sense of one of these:

“Hurry up! There isn’t enough time!”
“People need me, I am only valued as far as I am needed so I better make myself indispensable now!”
“Be prepared for the next crisis!” Any ringing phone in the middle of the day meant there was a crisis at school which would require my instant intervention. I can’t work normal hours, I can’t take in many clients again after what happened that last time and an escalating sense of … I can’t…I can’t…. I can’t….

Even while reading this short blog-post-in-progress I think “I can fictionalize this me character so no one knows.”

Remember the most important Life Coaching Questions?

When I work with clients, some of the most common clients I ask them are also questions I am best off asking myself, too.

What am I afraid of?

Will you please take a deep breath with me? (and then repeat the question).

What am I afraid of?

Another deep breath.

What will it take to calm the memories of trauma right now?

One more deep breath –

I am safe now. I have plenty of time to do what I need to do. I am loved.

If these questions ring a bell for you, please use them as journaling prompts so that we can get back to the core of the initial question:

What items on the calendar reflect how you honor your hopes, dreams, goals and passions?

Here are examples of how I responded to these questions, unedited and raw:

What am I afraid of:

I am afraid people won’t like, value or believe in me as a creative life coach if they see how fragile I can be at times of personal stress. In reality, there may be people who won’t value or believe in me as a life coach -and those are not people suited to me or my coaching practice, programs or courses.

What will it take to calm the memories of trauma right now?

In this circumstance I wrote this blog post, even though vulnerable.

I affirmed in writing and meditatively “I am safe. I reminded myself the memory is not what is right now. There is plenty of time to do all I need to do. Plus I am capable of making adjustments as necessary. I am safe.”

I reminded and practiced: I can always take calm, slow breaths. I can practice square-breathing. I can practice alternate nostril breath.

Return to the Real Work Once the Space has Been Held and Cleared for Movement Forward

Now I can clearly assess my calendar to see how I have done to create pockets of time for what is important to me.

Have I scheduled time to develop my most important projects, ones that will help me reach my financial and professional goals?
Have I scheduled time for my passion projects?
Have I scheduled time for self-care?

Immediately I feel better.

CS Lewis wisely wrote, “”You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” Your calendar may be out of balance right now, but paying attention will allow you to take action towards better solutions that may begin right away.

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Empty Days & Mondays Never Get Me Down

February 9, 2021 by jjscreativelifemidwife 4 Comments

“I always forget how important the empty days are, how important it may be sometimes not to expect to produce anything, even a few lines in a journal.”

May Sarton

There was a time when I would agree wholeheartedly with May Sarton’s assertion – until I became a person who has been saved by streaks: creating something for consecutive days.

Are Streaks Crutches I Use, To Get Through a Tough Time?

Maybe in the future, I won’t feel compelled by the “crutch” of streaks, but right now in my current situation, streaks sustain me as much as air and water and friends who laugh with me not at me.

I sit with my fingers hovering above the keyboard wondering what to write next, wondering how vulnerable to allow myself to be.

I think of the power of writing for five minutes, free flow style, to allow the words to bring me wisdom rather than me attempting to point myself toward wisdom and bend the words to fit into the directions I am willing them into that particular shape.

So I am choosing to craft a prompt and check in and see what the words want to tell me.

Free Flow Writing Creates a Bridge Between Negative Associations and Truth

With the timer set for five minutes, I write:

The empty days are my friends, long and lean and not holding expectations beyond breath and light and opening my eyes to gaze about, without measure, without need simply because it feels good.

Empty days say “What would you most like to do today?”

Empty days say “Which clothes would feel the best today?”

Empty days say, “The only rules you must follow are the rules that bring you happiness and joy.”

So, Madame Empty Day (my pencil writes) if joy is permitted than I am also allowed to fill this day with – a jot or a line or a walk along the river to the place where there is graffiti under the bridge? It is ok for me to sit and listen and take photos and reach out to my friends to let them know I am connecting to them, even tat this difference, is that ok?

Empty days allow me to make choices, not be barred by rule-tenders.

Naturally, your higher self may ask you to consider deepening your query.

“Like I’ve been doing today?” I pause to ask Madame Empty Day, “Like I’ve been discerning if my choice was less than or my occasionally Anti-Karen-Karen-ness is a story that might not be completely empowering?”

She nodded and smiled, showing I was getting somewhere and moving beyond the first meanings I was making from the initial assessment alone.

That feels good. That feels right. That feels at peace.

I now know the battle is more likely between what I have made a streak mean (a job well done, consistently, is a help-mate and a partner in creativity) versus what if I fail? I can’t do this. This expectation is too high and I am bound to fall flat on my face and that would be another tale for another blogpost.

The Final Word on to Streak or Not to Streak is….

We make our own rules in the end. We are subject and sovereign, ruler and the one who is ruled. Consistency creates strength.

Choosing not to be consistent creates choosing not to be consistent. It isn’t bad on its own. For me, consistency also consistently leads to better.

When I am consistently facing in the direction of courageous action rather than fearful stagnant in action, things turn in the direction of courage and everything that goes with courage.

=====

Julie Jordan Scott is the Creator of the Radical Joy of Consistency Course which helps people practice consistency and completion daily in order to experience a more incredible life experience. She came to this conclusion after almost dying and coming back to true healing by writing 377 consecutive haiku… and a lot more along her way to building that streak! To find out more about this program, visit this link, here.

Your Team is Assembling: Welcome Them to Your Infinite Game

February 5, 2021 by jjscreativelifemidwife 3 Comments

I may look like I am sitting in my living room in Bakersfield, but I am truly I looking down at my feet as I walk down Carteret Street in Glen Ridge, New Jersey in 1972 0r 1973 with my siblings and my father. We are on the way to the park to play softball.

The dread filled my body from the soles of my navy blue canvas sneakered feet to my chest because I knew in moments we were going to become teams with winners and losers and my little ten-or-eleven-year-old self couldn’t deal with the thought of once again being the weakest link and the cause of my teammates losing simply because they were cursed to have me on the team.

My optimistic little self was worried about being the cause of “my team’s loss” due to my ineptitude.

“Can we play with no teams, no winners, no losers, no scoring game?” little optimistic Julie asked hopefully?

I not only heard the gasp and the laughter, I can feel the inevitable rise of red from my chest to my face in my nearly five decades later body.

The ridiculousness of this assertion was quoted back to me for years. “No points, no winners, no losers” would be enough to make my siblings laugh for years.

Today, I am reading “The Practice: Shipping Creative Work” by Seth Godin.

In this book he talks about Simon Sinek, James Carse and “The Infinite Game.”

Two quotes stand out. “Play to keep playing,” is directly from Seth Godin. He is standing in the infinite game which isn’t about the winner’s triumph over the loser. Winner and loser doesn’t compute.

A second quote echoes what I had said so many years ago:

“The infinite game has no winners or losers, no clock or scoreboard. It is simply a chance to trust ourselves enough to participate.”

I remember walking back toward Hawthorne Avenue after the game ended. My little, optimistic self had indeed lived up to my self fulfilling prophecy of the weakest link on whatever team was stuck with me. My head was down, looking at my sneakers again as I fought tears.

Little did I know there were people who are on the team, like me, who I had no idea existed.

Listen as these bits and pieces of life experience from 2021 weave together in a cosmic time warp that makes perfect sense.

Recently I heard Quilen Blackwell on Simon Sinek’s podcast, “A Bit of Optimism” In the midst of conversation Quilen said, “Life is not a solo sport.” He had been telling his story of showing up and trusting the way would find him, complete with collaborators who would offer solutions he might not have considered.

Simon walked him back saying, “I think you may have offered the best definition of faith I’ve ever heard: you’re on a team and you don’t know who is on your team.”

Often we don’t know who our teammates are until we step up to receive our assignment – whether that day it is hugging a tree or going for an MRI or teaching your first webinar or starting a business that seems completely wacky to the rest of the world.

My teammates are my collaborative partners in this wild adventure I call my life in all its ups and downs, dark corners and crevices.

I would say our teammates even appreciate and value us just because we’re collaborating in this infinite game of life we all dedicate ourselves to continue to play. They don’t mind the cracks, dark corners and crevices because they are smart enough to know they have their own, too.

These people who make up our infinite game team. This is why I keep showing up both out in the “real world” 2021 style or here, on the page with you.

I’ve had bits and pieces of this written since the middle of last week, before I listened to the “A bit of optimism” podcast, proving more teammates will show up precisely when you are at your most needy.

I sat back in my chair just now to feel the mass growing in my chest. It is larger than it was when I had my CT Scan. It will probably be larger when I have the MRI that is scheduled for 2 weeks and 6 days from now. My team is assembling.

I am choosing to show up and trust, every day, over and over again.

You who are reading are on my team now. I welcome you.

Once Upon a Time, and Another Time, and Another…

February 1, 2021 by jjscreativelifemidwife 9 Comments

Once Upon a Time: among the best single writing prompts I know to engage the storyeller inside us. Have you ever used it as a prompt?

I would love to hear your free flow writing following “Once Upon a Time” even if your once upon a time was yesterday afternoon. “Once upon a time yesterday afternoon, I discovered my daughter had once again left her new bathing suit wadded up in a bag, still wet, from a party she attended almost a week ago. No, she isn’t seven years old and no, this isn’t a first.” I could free write my way into a rant, into a moment of healing or perhaps a strategy provided by the invisible fairy godmother or witch.

This is what happened the last time I wrote a once upon a time story that was more long term.

there was a little girl named Julie who wasn’t planned by her parents, but a divine force knew her place on this planet was significant, so she was born on a dark and stormy night in January many decades ago.

Julie is the Buddha like toddler who refused to walk!

She was raised in the 1960’s and 70’s when many things were covered up and ignored. For much of the time, the didn’t talk about their younger brother having down’s syndrome nor did they talk about how horrifying the kindergarten teacher was. They just lived through those things and some of us grew up to tell therapists about it.

Julie convinced her neighborhood friends to be an all women astronaut crew. Her mom and family made (and manuevered) the rocket. Julie is the astronaut closest to the rocket.

Julie loved to read and take hikes and be in plays at her school. Like many, she stopped doing some of those things when she was working and raising her children and being a creative entrepreneur and activist and advocate, but slowly and surely, those loves came back into the forefront.

Now Julie is a full fledged multi-creative. She has been on best-seller lists, she has been in films and plays, she has won awards for telling stories and acting and making contributions to non-profit organizations.

Right now, she is fighting another medical battle amidst everything else. This February, she will be telling those stories here on this blog via short blog posts, videos and photos of the art she is making.

Her near-death experience in 2019 was something she thought would be the worst and she still holds that to be true – but you will have front row seats (front blog seats?) to what’s next.

Right on the horizon there is a writing challenge next week which you won’t want to miss! More on that tomorrow —

Please tell us in the comments one highlight from your childhood so we can get to know each other better. There is a blog challenge which we’re doing and hope to meet many of you and many others, too.

Thanks for reading – and all your prayers are appreciated.

Are You Sick of the Story You Keep Telling Yourself? Here: a bit of Magic to Change It.

January 22, 2021 by jjscreativelifemidwife Leave a Comment

Reading this quote was like getting a big basket of pixie dust thrown on me all at once:

“If you want to change your story, change your actions first.”

HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING, BUT ACT AS IF YOU don’t KNOW IT?

I knew what Seth Godin was saying before I read it. I’ve lost count of how many times I have known something intuitively before I knew it “actually” –

I’ll confess, in the past I felt sort of childish for not having a high level of self trust. Then I started reading Seth Godin’s book “The Practice” and discovered there are many of us in the same position!

I am not being childish, I am being human.

After my near death experience, I fell into a dark emotional funk. I knew I ought to do something differently both in order to heal and in order to make progress. I didn’t realize back then that a simple daily action outside of anything I was already doing would have the impact on my life it has continued to have.

I committed to myself I would do this one activity – writing a short poem accompanied by a photo and sharing it on my facebook page, one day at a time – was one activity and impacted so much more.

You make the commitment to YOURSELF

What happens as a result of taking our daily action actually grows far beyond writing a poem or walking for 20 minutes or making five phone calls to people who may be interested in supporting our non-profit.

This is the magic. When we commit to taking action to ourselves in order to change our story, what actually happens as a by-product of our daily action is:

We begin to trust ourselves in areas outside of just that one action.
We gain courage to try making shifts in other areas of our lives.
We feel better because daily successes cause a rise to our endorphin levels.
We interrupt our patterns of self doubt and recreate them as self trust, self confidence and ultimately self love and self respect.

Building self trust is your truest foundation for lasting, overall life change

Think about this question before responding:

How would your life circumstances change positively if you trusted yourself more, had more confidence and were able to report successful results daily?

Sunrise light: the Radical Joy of Daily Consistency

Is it Still January, 2021?

January 10, 2021 by jjscreativelifemidwife Leave a Comment

I wrote this on January 9, which feels like years ago now. The only reason I know January isn’t over is my birthday hasn’t happened yet.

The last few weeks have felt like decades, like 2020 was just a tiny warm-up to what the first 10 days of 2021 would bring. I’m choosing to see this – no I will not say unprecedented – unsettling time as a chance to withdraw, as I did a few days ago, to reflect and see my perspective and the stories that come with it from MY perspective only.

Yesterday I was so exhausted from the day itself, I fell asleep shortly after 8 pm. I had nothing left to give except a devotion to my pillow. I had no time for quiet, contemplative thought so I accepted my own plea for rest.

You get to choose how to measure your “success” in the moment

I woke up frustrated because I wanted to get more done yesterday. It was 1:33 am when I came up for air. I lifted my neck and plunged it back into the pillow. Nothing I could do to change it so I surrendered back to deep sleep.

When I woke again I had overslept.

I got to choose again: berate myself or allow myself a pass. That’s when I came upon my friend Anne’s question which leads to my 3 Good Things. As you read my 3 things I invite you to consider yours.

Maybe in reading mine, you will see some of yours, reflected. That is my hope and prayer for you and for me, too.

Reflect on Your 3 Good Things Today

Here are mine:

I love how ripple effects work. My friend Anne Stone Lafleur asked a question based on her Gift of Happiness website connection cards. I took that question and gave myself an assignment to “live it” and it shifted how I approached a task I have put off for far too long. Self-love, self-compassion and a vision of what is coming up for me all lined up through a couple pages of free writing that would not have been born if it had not been for the question she asked herself that I then asked of me.
I love how it feels to hug trees, today a eucalyptus.
I love what I am in the midst of creating that includes, right now, me reclining in a bed that is made up with adorable flannel sheets with cats on them. I am writing this note and then, I will drink my tea, do day’s end writing and reading and it has become such a self nurturing time I feel new again.

Invitation to Fully Embrace Your Stories & Your Views

How will you make and remake your story from visiting here, today?

Maybe you will fall more deeply in love with your life or maybe you will feel a call into a new perspective, a slight shift or caveat.

Whatever is true for you, I hope you will take a moment to share with us your 3 Good Things from today – sometimes that will seem like too few and sometimes this will feel like too many. However and wherever you’re falling on that spectrum, proclaim something – it will improve your story to share it.

Thank you for being here!

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She has been a Life Purpose and Creativity Coach since 1999. She has taught workshops in college classrooms, hospitals, teleclasses and webinars with participants across the world.