Creative Life Midwife

Inspiring Artistic Rebirth

October Outlook: Grateful for YOU, dear Reader of this Blog

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Autumn leaves and a blue sky with text that welcomes friends, long time and new. Inspiration for writing, blogging and content creation with Julie Jordan Scott.

If I had to use three words to describe myself last year at this time I would say “hurting, perplexed, tenacious.”

IN OCTOBER, 2021

I was hurting because my father died less than six months before October last year. I had been my mother’s primary caretaker from April through July and spent much of that time simultaneously emptying her home before assisting my brothers in moving her into an assisted living facility. I was perplexed because I had managed to hurt my middle daughter by following through to move to New Jersey without adequate ongoing communication for a much needed sabbatical from my life on the west coast. I was tenacious because I didn’t stop trying to get it – life – work – my creative pursuits – better than they had since I had a near death experience in 2019 and quite honestly, for a few years leading up to that.

WHEN LIFE’S PLANS ARE DIFFERENT THAN YOUR OWN….

I didn’t know last October I would go on a wildly circuitous route to find myself starting over again. I am back to the manse where I started my “year of creative retreat and radical self-care” on October 6, 2021.  

I didn’t know it would devolve or evolve into a second period of intense grief, and crisis caregiving of an entirely different sort which lead me to spend January, March, May, June, July, August, half of the preceding December and half of September only to return right back where I started – as if my hopes and dreams chewed me up and spit me out – and I got back up, Slowly and sometimes quite unsurely I brushed myself and my circumstances off and insisted upon finishing what I desperately longed to start AND finish.

AND THE IRONY OF THINGS D/EVOLVING INTO BETTER

Ironically – and I wouldn’t have expected to be saying this – but experiencing that crisis caregiving time healed the rift with my middle daughter, strengthened my reserves and built my west coast family into much more of a team. Our communication is stronger. It is safe to say we all feel more resilient.

There was one important request I made before I got on an airplane and headed back east on September 15.

DOING LIFE DIFFERENTLY: THE SIMPLE THINGS

I said “You guys need to text me for no real reason. You need to let me know how you are, tell me how your day went, ask me how I am doing, because right now, I get scared with every text I receive. 

“When I left last year I only heard from any of you if something bad happened. I do not want it to be like that.”

It isn’t like that.  Our healing through tears, struggles, laughter, strength building and stubborn will changed us all for the better.

I am still grieving – with my younger brother’s death last December 10th there are still tender firsts to experience. I am still concerned about the health of my family members.  There is still left over sadness because I was hustling so much to be sure Samuel’s college tuition was paid I didn’t get to invest in as much time in work around my home in Bakersfield or connecting with friends AND.. things are so much better I am still wondering when I will wake up from this dream.

THE HEALING POWER OF POETRY

In May Swenson’s poem, “October”, one stanza includes this section:

“I sit with braided fingers

and closed eyes

in a span of late sunlight.

The spokes are closing.

It is fall: warm milk of light,

though from an aging breast.

I do not mean to pray.

The posture for thanks or

supplication is the same

as for weariness or relief.”

YOUR THREE WORDS… OR PHRASES.

For you, I am grateful for your presence, I am thrilled to connect with you again, and I am honored to meet and walk alongside new companions

I am relieved and thrilled to be back here for another October with you and another Ultimate Blog Challenge. I have not been stable through any of the months we have done this since… I don’t know when – surely at least since 2019  but that makes me even more determined to be here for the other participants as well as to honor what I have been through this year and what is coming next in the future.

I would love to hear what you are looking forward to in October and how I might help you either in the content I write or the encouragement I may be able to offer you.

I am beyond words grateful that you are here reading my words.

Woman hugging a cartoon tree - white with black polka dots

Julie Jordan-Scott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Northwest New Jersey (Sussex Borough, Nj) where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch exclusive reel videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

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On Sundays, We Plan the Week Ahead

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It is basic and also easy to overlook: life works better even with the most basic plan.

Planning Basics: Even with a Hectic, Unpredictable Schedule basic planning is grounding and illuminating.

As a creative who is also busily caretaking, it would be easy to toss away any idea of planning and just “go with the flow” or as it often devolves into “go with the chaos” or whatever is the best of the worst possibilities.

This is not inspiring in the least.

This is why it is better to at least have the minimum amount of a plan before your week begins.

Calendar + Appointments + Tasks “To Do” + Practices = Better

On Sunday afternoon, evening or early Monday morning, be sure to gather your calendar, a list of your projects, classes, and to-do’s you are aware of as your week kicks off.

Fill in your calendar with what you know for now. Include any family or friend activities you are expected to attend. If you are unsure what other people’s expectations are for you, now is the time to ask and set the boundaries that fit.

Once those times are filled in, it is time to do some intentional breathing and take time in free flow, meditative writing or journaling to see if there is anything deserving space that has not yet appeared in your plan.

Journal or Free Flow Write to Double Check” and Allow the Unspoken within You Speak

Here’s a reality we often deny or pretend away: within our busy minds racing to get things done, we ignore the wisest part of ourselves. The quiet whispers, the tugs on our intuition, the nudges that are encouraging you to go in a possible different direction.

As you consider the blocks of time filled with appointments, daily basic care activities (hygiene, meal prep, spiritual practice, exercise), tasks and to-do’s, take a moment to journal or free flow write using this question and the sentence starter to tune into those most important aspects of your plan you may have not paid any attention to (yet.)

Revise your plan: It is a leaping off point, not a concrete wall.

One of the ways people resist planning or decide not to plan is based in perfectionism or “all or nothing” thinking. Can you relate to either of those?

Starting Next Week: Suggestions, Coaching & Response to Your Questions

Do you have any questions about how to plan, best practices for planning, planning mindsets or advice around planning? I will incorporate these in upcoming blog posts.

Please comment below or send me an email at juliejordanscott at gmail.comVideo Exploring Trust (which may have kept you from planning in the past.)

Optional Video Exploration/Writing Exercise on TRUST

A blast from the past (2017) a prompt for you to write with – videos will be shared at the end of each blog and are optional for you to use (or not) as a means for you to be inspired to write more or differently or better. This particular theme of TRUST is essential to grow as a writers and leaders.

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

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How One Moment of Listening (or Being) a Naysayer May Cause Longterm Damage

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Transfrom the words of naysayers: an ear listens and does... what? Heal the negative effects of mean words.

When I started my life coaching practice in 1999 I was amazed when people showed up at discovery calls and were ready to hire me immediately almost without a word of conversation.  Now, with years of experience under my belt, I realize it is because the content I had shared over time forged the relationship ahead of our speaking.

To my long time readers, we weren’t strangers meeting for the first time.  I was someone they respected who they were honored to finally meet. Back then, though, I was simply happily going about my life, not thinking of myself as anything unique or special or worthy of any extra attention beyond my daily existence.

I wondered why it was so hard for other people to find coaching clients. I didn’t arrive at discovery calls from a space of “I am so good at getting clients” because I wasn’t selling at all. I was just showing up and people were signing up for coaching in a way that felt magical.

My coach-trainer didn’t believe me when I told him how many clients I had. He literally scoffed and said, “You can’t have done that!”

How did my well respected coach and trainer’s scoffing and naysaying words do to a new, exuberant, passionate yet insecure coach?

His disbelief caused a block in creating new relationships with more people who were looking to engage with me.

This is what happens when people are naysayers whether it is inadvertent or on purpose.

What if he had said, “You have sixteen clients and you are a brand new coach? That is incredible – you are clearly getting the word out about your work and attracting like hearted people! What’s your secret? I want to know more about your success! My goodness, you are a star pupil, Julie! Do you realize how miraculous you are?

What a gift those questions would have been. Naturally, he would have said questions in his own voice because the above is more what I would have said to me back then – and what I am saying to me, now.

My coach trainer and I didn’t have that conversation though. He went on to critique me even though my success was huge.

My thought after that conversation with my coach trainer went from “getting clients is so easy” to “What is wrong with me? “

I left  the final conversation I had with my trainer – a person in a position of authority who “knew better than me” scalded by his naysaying. It scarred our longterm relationship.

More appropriate to the facts of what I had achieved would have been thinking something like this: “I am an incredible rockstar bursting with hope and optimism.”

Writing about this now more than twenty years later helps me see even more clearly the cumulative damage that happened because of the conversation – the initial naysayer moment – and my continued lack of belief in what he said has marred certain aspects of building my coaching practice.

It mirrors the Dan Pink quote we started with today: “Some beliefs operate quietly, like existential background music.”  

Once we allow that background music to play constantly, we run the risk of allowing it to overtake any success we have had and what we hope to achieve in the future.

Today, that belief has been excavated and may finally be decluttered from the mind and from life experience.

Give yourself time to consider past moments in time that may still be influenced by “background music of beliefs” that may surprise you. These naysaying moments may seem insignificant, but tugging at the thread of them may bring you into a new awareness that will transform your life experience today.

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

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How Practicing a Ta-Da Focus You Will Live Solidly in Your Truth

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“I would love to have an ocean of love right now. That said, the number-one rule of acting is, ‘Do not seek approval from the audience.’ People don’t realize that. You can’t do stuff to get applause. You have to live in the truth.”

Chadwick Boseman

My mind is playing the famous instagram reel and tik tok videos where one is simply some restlessness and then wild applause. The second is soft music and then a voice with a dignified British accent saying, “Ladies and Gentleman, Her” and thunderous applause from an invisible audience.

I will admit, I have used one of these sounds in the past on a tree hugging reel.

The most important applause to receive is your own.

Our hunger for approval is one we need to focus to overcome. To begin creating your specific ocean of love, as Chadick Boseman suggests, you may in addition create your most satisfying outcome yet.

Focusing on your “Ta-Da’s!’ as well as your “To-Do’s” will automatically create a more favorable environment for satisfaction, success and waves of virtual, real and inner applause will become a daily experience.

Remember the end of Chadwick Boseman’s wise words: You have to live in truth. Don’t hunger for approval of others, focus on acting in alignment with your truth.

What is the first step you will take to create waves of applause both from other people and more importantly from yourself?

“You can’t do stuff to get applause. You have to live in the truth.”

Your Ta-Da’s – the actions you have taken and the stuff you get done live in your truth.

They don’t have to be thunderous or huge. Your Ta-Da’s may be as simple as “I got out of bed before 7:30 am today!” or “I got out of bed today.” Either is a Ta-Da in your truthful space.

Your truth is not a space to compare to others, your truth is a space of delight – a space of inner applause and a space of infinite ta-da’s.

I can hear the ocean waves of love and admiration reaching your shores, my shores, our collective shores.

The door to the present moment and the future opens.

Ladies and Gentleman, Her!

Julie JordanScott Comeback Crone Creative Life Midwife

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.


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Trust: How Practices and Imperfection Lead to So Many Insightful Gifts

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This morning I sat at my desk intending to write in the same, highly practiced way as I do on most mornings. I met with my focus mate partner – for those who don’t know, Focusmate is a co-working environment online that helps people transform their to-do’s into ta-da’s while supporting another person doing the same in either 25 minute or 50 minute containers. 

“I am going to complete my morning writing practice,” I told my new friend’s smiling face and she reported her tasks back to me. We wished each other well and I started writing.

What I wasn’t expecting was to be visited by memories, Kahlil Gibran, Daniel Pink and experience divine healing in the midst of it.

I knew Dan Pink would be present because I had been meditating on his sentence since I read it yesterday in his new best seller, “The Power of Regret.”

The sentence was “Some beliefs operate quietly, like existential background music.”  

The overall theme of the writing was to be trust, a word that has been known to invoke a churning feeling in my gut. My friend Laurie Smith’s 28 Days of Flow Challenge had thrown down the word gauntlet and feeling brave, I stepped into the circle to wrestle with it.

Here is what I wrote:

Trust:  some days, most days to be honest, I don’t trust much of anything or anyone, much less myself. There was something Brene Brown says in “Atlas of the Heart”  about living disappointed instead of risking disappointment. Over the years, I have lived more disappointed than I have  risked disappointment.

When I visit my patterns of trust, I realize the bruises of opting out of trust started very early. I don’t want to sound like I am blaming because I am not claiming victimhood, I am exploring what happened. I am examining what the facts are without reconstructing a false narrative based on my opinions.

I think about what was happening in my young parents’ lives when I was a little one and I think “I don’t know how they did as well as they did. A cross country move with four children under the age of 7 with Mom pregnant setting up in a new location with a newish company. All the expectations for success…. once John was born with Down’s syndrome… the guilt and the grief and the fourteen month (fifteen sixteen month) me battled the lack of trust with refusing to learn to walk. 

If I didn’t walk, they would have to carry me. They would have to pay attention and lift me up to the places I couldn’t crawl, right? 

I didn’t trust for my safety and perhaps because I couldn’t trust I would receive the love I yearned for and practical love through action which I needed in order to continue my little life.  

Before language set in fully, I determined being the ultimate protector and caretaker was what I needed to be in order to survive.

This was  imprinted upon my innermost psyche:  If I take care of others well, we will all stay safe. 

This might have been my unspoken but definitely believed mantra – the existential background music, so now that my two younger brothers are dead, I have been proven lacking.

I have been proven lacking again. And Again. And again.

The adult, intellectual me says how flawed this belief is as we are all finite creatures. The spiritual side disagrees, saying “our souls are infinite, my brothers have gone nowhere”. The petulant side claps back with “oh yeah, if they’re here why can’t I shake and scold them for leaving me, for not fighting harder, what did I do wrong so that they didn’t fight longer or better?”

Kahlil Gibran ambles in and says a version of his lesson on Children:

“Your brothers were not your children any more than your children are your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.”

I realize in a flash or a glimmer of a flash I can trust life’s longing, the divine heartbeat, because each circumstance I have lived so far has proven itself to be a guide as much as I hated some of those situations and circumstances, as much as I wanted to vomit the moments from my existence – eventually the gratitude for them turned over in the soil as mulch, to be fragrant and helpful to my personal ecosphere.

I am sitting with that. 

Hands off keyboard.

This morning I danced. I said I would dance so I danced in front of the mirror to Nat King Cole’s L-O-V-E twice. I trusted and acted.

I did my lymph exercises in the room of the manse I designated for dance and exercise. I trusted myself to do this, too. It isn’t a habit or a practice yet, it is an intention I am doing my best to fulfill.

Before I sat to write I moved. And I laughed as I danced and I breathed deeply as I moved my lymph system purposefully and it all felt so good, something I wanted to do yesterday but hadn’t built my self-trust ladder sturdy enough yet and now, apparently I have. 

Today at this moment I have trusted and acted on purpose.  Today at this moment my trust is enriched as even white bread may be enriched with nutrients. 

Self-trust is an ultimate nutrient.

The little me can go back and trust her parents who she knows were doing the best they could do.  They didn’t need my assistance, I offered my  assistance with love, even as a toddler. Perhaps part of my assistance was a prayer for love, but it was birthed in love nonetheless as was I.

I was birthed in love, even if my birth wasn’t planned or convenient or even if my parents actively attempted to prevent my conception. I am a gift from life’s longing for itself. I can reference more sacred texts and embrace this.

After dancing and exercising and trusting myself to walk toward feeling better,  I simply engaged with trust at the urging of my friend Laurie Smith and Kahlil Gibran showed up to offer healing.

I can’t think of anything to be much cooler than that.

What has been your favorite moment so far this morning?

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

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Why Reading Poetry is an Important Strategy for All Content Creators

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A block letter of "POETRY" in pink, blue and lavendar encourages writers in all genre to read poetry with great love and enjoyment.

I can literally hear the shrieks from many of you upon reading the title of this blog post.

Poetry, the dreaded. Poetry is difficult to understand. Poetry, that unit in English class that brought your grade from a healthy B to a C, which made your parents take away your phone privileges for a week.

Would it help you to read poetry if you saw real reasons why any and all of us who use words to create content of any sort ought to embrace and regularly read poetry in a similar way to how Robin Williams character in “Dead Poet’s Society” suggests? At the bottom of this blog post I have included a video with some words from that movie about poetry the Apple Corporation used in their advertising campaign.

9 Examples of how reading poetry will help you be a more successful writer and content creator


1) Samuel Taylor Coleridge famously wrote, “Poetry: the best words in the best order.” Many of us believe him and practice poetry for the joy of polishing our words into short, enjoyable and yes, easy to understand and/or natural to make us want to stretch our understanding of life, this world and one another.

2.) Poetry is often concise -which will help you write better headlines, catchy slogans and synopsise main points you want to convey.

3.) The Harvard Business Review stated “Poetry teaches us to wrestle with and simplify complexity.” Harman Industries founder Sidney Harman once told The New York Times, “I used to tell my senior staff to get me poets as managers. Poets are our original systems thinkers. They look at our most complex environments and they reduce the complexity to something they begin to understand.”

4. ) Reading poetry gives us more unusual topics of conversations, videos and written content. Reading a poem in the morning and planting it into your subconscious mind will ignite you to approach your content differently – which is always a good means to improve your content and writing development.

5.)A Fast Company article visualizing a post-Covid19 Pandemic World leads off with a quote from Rainer Maria Rilke followed by these words about how poets and poetry reading people make for better business leaders: “Poetry requires of its readers a different way of thinking, more expansive than usual, more flexible, more nuanced; a way to tune in to undercurrents, accept ambiguity and the absence of answers—embrace lack of closure and relish complexity and uncertainty.”

6.) Reading poetry increases one’s curiosity and the desire to ask questions. This is especially good for people writing sales copy. How does this poem relate back to what I am trying to communicate to possible clients and students?

7.) Memorizing poetry about success and overcoming obstacles helps the brain to stretch and grow. Suggestions for such poems include “Success” by Ralph Waldo Emerson; Triumph May Be of Several Kinds by Emily Dickinson or In Praise of Pain by Heather McHugh.

8.) Satya Nadella, CEO, Microsoft said “Poetry is akin to ‘that force created within us that seeks out the unimaginable, that gets us up to solve the impossible.” This sort of inspiration and motivation helps me get up and write yet another blog post, social media post, thank you note… every day – to tune into the creative life force that creates poetry as well as a note to someone who is grieving.

9.) Discover the pleasure of the sounds of poetry through watching videos of poets such as former California Poet Laureate Dana Gioia (who is also a graduate of Stanford School of Business and worked in the business sector for 15 years before pursuing a literary and academic life. Recognizing really good writing through the voice of Dana Gioia will help you to hear your own writing improve.

Your poetry reading challenge:

I challenge you, even or especially for the skeptics among you, to visit some of the links I am providing here and consider how poetry has the power to help you improve in every single kind of content creation you are attempting.

Reading one poem a day will change your life in an infinite number of ways.

Reading (or listening to) one poem today, even if it is the last poem you ever read, will impact you as well. 

I am grateful you are even considering it. Thank you so much for reading this far.

Poetry Resources, including references from this article:

From The Poetry Foundation:
Poems to Read When You Get Stuffed in a Gym Locker (success and anti-success poems):

Success Poem list frpm DiscoverPoetry.com

Dana Gioia YouTube Channel Playlist of Poetry Recitation. His voice and delivery are incredibly enjoyable.:

Fast Company Article about CEO’s and Poetry:

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.







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Be helpful, not harmful, to a person who is grieving

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What to do about grief shame: do not harm a hurting person. Woman sits in front of a rainy window.

I am an accomplished griever. I have lost people I have loved, places and community connections, jobs, pets, relationships, social standing and physical health.

Sometimes I think this is because I have a big heart and have loved many people. We risk grief when we love.

Part of the gift repeated grief brings is the ability to help both those who are going through it AND helping people who love grievers and don’t have any idea where to turn to figure out how to continue to love this person who is hurting. This is especially challenging because the person who is grieving may or may not be able to communicate well at the height of the grief process, during the holiday season and around important events like weddings, birthdays or funerals for years to come.

Below are some situations I have encountered as a person who has grieved and as one who has helped and supported people through the grief process for many years.

Your Job is NOT to fix, make better, take away emotions of or scold a person who is feeling sorrow, trauma or pain.

Your job is to connect with the person who is grieving. Your job is to show empathy and caring.

The worst things you can do are shame the person who is grieving by saying things like:

“You aren’t over it yet?” or “Stop crying” or “Don’t feel that way” or “Pull up your big girl panties already. I only grieved for XX amount of time.”

This short video from Brene Brown shows us succinctly how to express empathy for people who are hurting and/or grieving.

The Grieving Person is not responsible to create your to-do list for being a good friend.

If I had a penny for all the times people said: “If you need anything, call me….” because grieving people often don’t have the energy or motivation to know what they might need or know what you might have any desire to provide during her time of hurt.

It is difficult enough to make requests under usual circumstances, but when mired in grief it is nearly impossible.

If you would like to do something for the person who is grieving, offer several specific options such as “Hey, hey I am going to the grocery store – is there anything I can pick up for you while I am out?” or “I’m taking some clothes to the dry cleaner – may I take your things, too?” or “Would you like company? I am headed to Starbucks and would be happy to swing by with your favorite drink OR could pick you up and we can drive through together.”

You may also say your version of, “I want to help and I don’t know what to do. I am literally nervous that everything and anything I do or say is wrong, so please accept permission to guide, direct, ask for me to do things for you, to be places with you…. and I will keep checking in, at least.”

Your job is to be present, awkward in your skin if necessary, and be gentle and patient.

One of my preferred methods of caring for my loved ones who are grieving is to reach out to them regularly, most often via text or phone call.

I have some friends I texted daily for months when they were going through tough times.

When my father died last year, I wondered where my daily text messages from friends were?

I don’t say this to evoke text messages now, I say this to let you know your strongest friends need loving attention, too. They will treasure your awkwardness because more likely than not they are awkward. Every time we grieve something new, it is like the first time all over again… plus it is the first time grieving that person or circumstance.

First times are always awkward.

It also would have been helpful if I had reached out to trusted friends and asked for their text messages. A few years ago when I was going through a difficult break-up I asked friends if I could text them “Good night” because one of the hardest things for me was not having a person to participate in the normal ritual of saying goodnight.

My friends had no way of knowing this was important to me. Thankfully I was strong and aware enough to ask for the support.

Final words: Be gentle, don’t disappear and try your best. When you don’t do your best – apologize and stay attentive to the person you love who is grieving.

Repeat as necessary.

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

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What is the Admission Price to the Path Out of Fear?

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A small part of the Appalachian Trail is a piece of the story of the Path out of fear - and overcoming a challenge as written by Julie JordanScott

Yesterday I was writing a fairly innocuous seeming caption to a photo on facebook. I post photos to facebook on most days because of my personal #377TreeHug project. I use my facebook page as a means of documentation and accountability. Yesterday was no exception.

I had a marvelous tree hug of a hickory tree on the Appalachian Trail and I was extremely excited to post about it.

In one caption I wrote, “I love how the nuts are here to feed the animals. Once in childhood we saw a porcupine near the trail. I was scared of everything (even lightning bugs) so I had visions of the porcupine shooting quills at me from a distance… and was also convinced there were bears lurking inside fallen trees. How I survived and even loved these adventures even while petrified I’ll never know.”

I re-read my words and sat back in my chair, shocked at the truth within that seemingly simple, ordinary caption.

I was scared of everything (even lightning bugs)….. How I survived and even loved these adventures even while petrified I’ll never know.”

I was also teased unmercifully for my fear, which made it even worse.

I was afraid of things. I was afraid of being afraid of things. I was afraid to express my fear so I did my best to hide my fear, at all costs.

Somehow I did all this as a child and it continued – and in some ways continues still, today.

I realized the facts were to spend treasured time with my father, I would need to pay the price of admission. The fee was a lot of faking courage. I needed to be comfortable with pretending my fear didn’t exist or hiding my fear under an enthusiastic seeming smile.

I hid my fear by proclaiming my trust in God.

I hid my fear by looking on the bright side. I remember when my daughter died, for example, I comforted myself by saying, “God must have chosen me to have my daughter die because He knew I am strong enough.”

I hid my fear by doing things other people fear like being an actor and performing poetry in front of audiences and becoming a public speaker.

The thing is, those things don’t scare me, they exhilarate me.

Slowly, I hid myself and withdrew almost completely when I had too many sequential challenges. I no longer had the energy to show up because hiding one’s fear is exhausting. Exhausting one’s shame over being afraid is even more exhausting.

It was easier to disappear and infinitely painful when the people you love don’t even seem to notice.

Mary Oliver wrote in one of her most well known poems, “The Journey”

But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do—
determined to save
the only life you could save.

In the depths of my sorrow and sadness of hiding and pretending pain didn’t exist, I had many difficult conversations with myself.

Shonda Rimes in her book “Year of Yes” reminded me eloquently this week, “I know on the other side of that difficult conversation lies peace. Knowledge. An answer delivered. Character is revealed. Truces are formed. Misunderstandings are resolved.”

Having time alone here in my “Long Term Self Care and Artist Retreat” I have had a lot of time alone to have tough conversations with myself. Real conversations with myself. Experimental conversations with myself.

There have been tears and laughter, tree hugs and walks, deep dives into memory, discovery and my dear old companion, fear.

It feels like everything up until now has just been practice for this and what is coming up in the next few months as I finish my book projects and continue to build my life coaching practice, do more speaking and keep showing up on video and here, on my blog and on social media.

I am doing things that scare me every single day, sometimes subconsciously I am getting tapped on the shoulder divinely or intuitively to take a closer or deeper look. I am no longer afraid of lightning bugs or bears or porcupine quills.

I still get a bit nervous about criticism from people I love or worse – people not caring at all.

I am not hiding and that, dear reader, is the best victory of all.

I could have told you today about my near death experience or many other twists and uncomfortable turns along the path, but this feels most like what we needed to talk about today.

What challenges have you overcome?

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

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Sunrise at the Manse: An Invitation to Deep Healing & Creativity

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Earlier was a morning like most other mornings: leaning against my pillows after writing brief notes in my journal and experiencing a morning meditation, I felt peaceful and calm.

Soul Practices Open Windows in Many Ways

I was looking with a soft gaze that caught the sun as she peeked over the horizon and shone her rays of light into the window across from my bed. It was as if the sun was a young child, waving as she reaches up from under the covers, “I am here, let’s play again….” accompanied by the soft exhale with the slightest projection of the intention “this is going to be a good day.”

Tears fill my eye in the memory of earlier this morning and for so many sunrise mornings across my years.

My life is so different than it was a year ago yet also in many ways the same.

I am across the country from where I was, in the mornings I face east as is my favored direction.

Clear Desire: Spoken and Repeated

I am not sure how many years ago I boldly proclaimed, “If I ever move, I must have a house with an east facing porch and a bonus would be having a bedroom that faces east.” I know I said so, repeatedly – without expecation or attachment.

In my house in Bakersfield, the living room faces east. The kitchen faces east. These are the spaces I was often in as the day began. Many mornings of writing when my children were little started at the kitchen table in the dark. They would file in and sit beside me – knowing simply by silent association this was important Mommy time. When my three pages were done I would look up and address whatever it was they might desire.

Now my children are grown and I am living for a time in a manse beside the church where my daughter works.

By a miracle of divine appointment, the house has an eastern facing porch and the sun makes her appearance every day through the window of the bedroom I chose when Katherine asked which room I would like as my bedroom I asked, “Which one has the best morning light?”

An Unexpected Invitation to Healing

I am experiencing a season of deep healing I didn’t realize I needed as badly as I do.

There is a part of me that struggles to explain what it feels like to realize these blessings are safe to receive. There is a bigger part of me that is self-trolling or gaslighting, urging me not to be crazy enough to share such vulnerabilities as I am in writing and sharing this moment with you.

How can I not share how dreams come true in ways unexpected and beautiful?

How can I not share the rewards of healing after so many years is still possible, sacred and holy?

I will continue to hold these moments close AND share them wildly and as widely as the invitation calls. Maybe this resonates with you on some level – synchronicity happens – and perhaps this invitation is for you as well as for me. Speak up (if you would like) or pause, wait and reach out to me later. These blogs will continue appearing – invitation, issued, repeatedly.

Julie JordanScott is a multipassionate creative who delights in inviting others into their own fullhearted, artistic experience via her creativity coaching individually or in groups, courses and workshops. To receive inspiring content and videos weekly and find out more about Coaching, Courses, Challenges and what’s going on in the Creative Life Midwife world? Subscribe here:

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Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

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Staying the Course While Pausing a Few Days to Heal

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I have been absent from blog posting for the past three days after starting off this month of the Ultimate Blog Challenge at a very strong space. I wasn’t expecting to feel under the weather.

After starting out this month with a lot of posts “in the can” to suddenly hit the wall was surprising.

It is also not like me to pull back, willingly.

Usually I will fight, deny or pretend it isn’t happening.

I pretend I don’t care if I give up on an important project like the ultimate blog challenge.

Sometimes I give up entirely but this time. This time, I took an entirely different approach.

I consciously took excellent care of myself, participating minimally outside of lounging on the sofa or in bed. I did prepare healthy meals and snacks for myself, tea and honey and lots and lots of water.

Alternatives to my “I always do “it” this way” helped the process.

  • I listened to books instead of reading.
  • I treated myself with gentleness: simple things like moving my teakettle upstairs to my bedside helped.
  • I allowed my heart to stay open and followed where it called me to go – and where it called me to stay.
  • Most importantly, I didn’t allow myself to follow my not-feeling-physically well into a flat-out-fear-state. I did have brief sessions in the fear-hallways of my mind, but they were brief. My higher self escorted my fearful self out with great gentleness and compassion.

I didn’t realize it, but caretaking myself and showing this level of self-trust allowed me to open my heart more widely than it is been for years. My spirit opened herself to show aspects of my story I hadn’t been able to access before.

You will be hearing about this over the next few blog posts – I sincerely hope you will return to read.

I have always been one of those “Get back on the horse!” and “Stay the course at all costs” and “Show up above everything!” and I am still that way. However, I am also deeply rooted in compassion – this time, for me. Brene Brown reminds us “If our dispositions aren’t conditioned through self-compassion or self-worth, vulnerability stands to trigger our fears and insecurities — hence, throwing us into survival mode overdrive.”

Honest and truthful self-reflection works wonders

I might have said in the past, “Naturally I am compassionate with myself” but when I step back I can see how much I allowed expectations and personal culture norms to get in the way of my own gentle, nurturing guidance. Instead of survival mode overdrive, which would have lead to a longer time of not feeling up to par, I invested time of deep rest and loving self-care in the worst days of feeling badly.

Even as I type these words, I am planning to take a rest afterwards so I don’t overdo it.

I have heard other people say they are also more gentle with others than themselves. What is your experience with gentleness towards yourself and for others?

Do you feel like you are less of a person if you take your time to heal? I would love to hear from you in the comments.

Julie JordanScott is a multipassionate creative who delights in inviting others into their own fullhearted, artistic experience via her creativity coaching individually or in groups, courses and workshops. To receive inspiring content and videos weekly and find out more about Coaching, Courses, Challenges and what’s going on in the Creative Life Midwife world? Subscribe here:

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

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