Creative Life Midwife

Inspiring Artistic Rebirth

Inspirational Writing, Meditation & Poetry is Right Here & Out Beyond

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A Call to Love Yourself & Others

Sometimes it feels like “Self-Love” is overdone just like sometimes “Self-Care” often falls into a shallow trap of massages and manicures.

Beyond those limiting experiences, there is a depth of beauty you and I may not know yet.

This series “Out Beyond” will blend the richness of poetry, the mindfulness of meditation and the expression of writing and visual art to respond to the ever important call to love others… as yourself.

How often do we forget that this most important guidance not only calls us to love others, we also need to have a true respect and honoring for ourselves before we can understand and apply that same knowing of love for others.

Compassion: Beyond Others and Into Self

“Remember to give yourself grace,” I said yesterday to someone I am working with to have a more satisfying life experience while also living with a chronic illness.

I might as well have been holding up a mirror to my face.

How often do I offer myself undue favor, kindess and offer an outstretched hand of understanding before I leap into negative talk toward myself I would never say to others.

In “Out Beyond” we will explore compassion, too.

Forgiveness: Look Both Outward and Inward, to Self

It is not unusual for people to be great at forgiving others and not so good at forgiving themselves.

I will raise my hand and say “ME!” here because it is something I have been actively working on for quite a while. I recognize how valuable and necessary self-forgiveness and other-forgiveness are during this time of explosive separation, let’s step peacefully into increased forgiveness starting with ourselves.

This experience will take place here, at the Creative Life Midwife, and will writing exercises, videos, inspirational quotes and two five-day writing explorations with prompts and the option to practice and apply what you’re learning through the poetry and meditations.

Rumi wrote, “Out beyond the field of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I will meet you there.” A field of love, compassion and forgiveness will welcome you to explore, discover and add to your creative life in ways you may not even fathom yet.

I look forward to seeing you “Out Beyond” beginning on February 15, 2022

Julie JordanScott is a Creative Life Coach, an award-winning storyteller, actor and poet whose photos and mixed media art graces the walls of collectors across the United States. Her writing has appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers List, the Amazon best sellers list and on American Greetings Holiday cards (and other greeting cards). She currently lives in a manse in Sussex, NJ, where she is working on finishing her most recent book project, hugging trees daily and enjoys having random inspirational conversations with strangers.

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

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Sunrise at the Manse: An Invitation to Deep Healing & Creativity

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Earlier was a morning like most other mornings: leaning against my pillows after writing brief notes in my journal and experiencing a morning meditation, I felt peaceful and calm.

Soul Practices Open Windows in Many Ways

I was looking with a soft gaze that caught the sun as she peeked over the horizon and shone her rays of light into the window across from my bed. It was as if the sun was a young child, waving as she reaches up from under the covers, “I am here, let’s play again….” accompanied by the soft exhale with the slightest projection of the intention “this is going to be a good day.”

Tears fill my eye in the memory of earlier this morning and for so many sunrise mornings across my years.

My life is so different than it was a year ago yet also in many ways the same.

I am across the country from where I was, in the mornings I face east as is my favored direction.

Clear Desire: Spoken and Repeated

I am not sure how many years ago I boldly proclaimed, “If I ever move, I must have a house with an east facing porch and a bonus would be having a bedroom that faces east.” I know I said so, repeatedly – without expecation or attachment.

In my house in Bakersfield, the living room faces east. The kitchen faces east. These are the spaces I was often in as the day began. Many mornings of writing when my children were little started at the kitchen table in the dark. They would file in and sit beside me – knowing simply by silent association this was important Mommy time. When my three pages were done I would look up and address whatever it was they might desire.

Now my children are grown and I am living for a time in a manse beside the church where my daughter works.

By a miracle of divine appointment, the house has an eastern facing porch and the sun makes her appearance every day through the window of the bedroom I chose when Katherine asked which room I would like as my bedroom I asked, “Which one has the best morning light?”

An Unexpected Invitation to Healing

I am experiencing a season of deep healing I didn’t realize I needed as badly as I do.

There is a part of me that struggles to explain what it feels like to realize these blessings are safe to receive. There is a bigger part of me that is self-trolling or gaslighting, urging me not to be crazy enough to share such vulnerabilities as I am in writing and sharing this moment with you.

How can I not share how dreams come true in ways unexpected and beautiful?

How can I not share the rewards of healing after so many years is still possible, sacred and holy?

I will continue to hold these moments close AND share them wildly and as widely as the invitation calls. Maybe this resonates with you on some level – synchronicity happens – and perhaps this invitation is for you as well as for me. Speak up (if you would like) or pause, wait and reach out to me later. These blogs will continue appearing – invitation, issued, repeatedly.

Julie JordanScott is a multipassionate creative who delights in inviting others into their own fullhearted, artistic experience via her creativity coaching individually or in groups, courses and workshops. To receive inspiring content and videos weekly and find out more about Coaching, Courses, Challenges and what’s going on in the Creative Life Midwife world? Subscribe here:

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

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How to Find a Writing Practice that Works for You (and recognize it will change over time!)

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I laughed out loud this morning when I read an excerpt from yesterday’s writing practice. I wrote:

♡ Today I want to get over the hurdle of fear, preferably without smacking my face, my ass or my thighs on the way down.

How can I get more honest than that?

For years I wrote in the style of Julia Cameron’s morning pages, but after more than a decade of this practice, I needed to try something new so I borrowed from poet Billy Collins to include a list of 20 things I did the day before.

This works on many levels AND I have gone on to modify this practice more.

Playfully experiment with different types of writing practice rather than giving up entirely.

I happily experimented my way into a writing practice that collects images, sensory observations and day to day using Collins “Yesterday I” with the first five entries honoring “what I did” and the rest following a combination of sensory prompts, listing my desires and also noting what I read (perhaps a good quote or two among blogs, books, etc) and more.

I put my list into a monthly google doc. Everyday when I start working it is the first task. I take each prompt and respond five times to each.

My current, everyday writing practice foundation looks like this:


Here is what my current daily prompt currently looks like.

Yesterday I (action)
^ Yesterday I felt
Yesterday I saw
𝅘𝅥𝅲 Yesterday I heard
🕮 Yesterday I read
⇌↪Yesterday I smelled
♡ Today I want


☆ Today I affirm (and I write an affirmation or affirmative statement. Sometime I use scripture or modify quotes, too.)


╳ Any a-ha’s? (More often than not I don’t have anything to list but when I do, this is a beneficial category. I also think it helps to awaken my subconscious mind to remember and bring them to the front of my brain instead of getting stuck in minutia.)

By the way, I did not get physically injured when I climbed over the hurdle of fear. If anything I rose higher than I might have expected.

I may challenge myself to write what I want to do with fear on a more regular basis!

I know not everyone believes in writing daily or even regularly. For me, it works.

Most importantly when the practice I was using stopped working, I circled back and experimented to find what worked better for me.

Right now I have two distinctive, short (takes less than 15 minutes) writing practices – the one you are reading here and #rolloverandwrite – which is a brief before sleep write (sometimes literally a scribbled sentence) and then soon after awakening I roll over while still in bed and pick up my notebook instead of my phone.

In the latter practice, I have gotten much better at remembering my dreams AND I tune into a lot more of my personal wisdom I didn’t know was there that I use in my work with coaching clients, my blogging, my relationships and even in my social media planning.

How regularly do you write?

Portrait of Writer, Creative Life Coach, Speaker, Group Facilitator and Blogger Julie JordanScott

Julie JordanScott is a multipassionate creative who delights in inviting others into their own fullhearted, artistic experience via her creativity coaching individually or in groups, courses and workshops. To receive inspiring content and videos weekly and find out more about Coaching, Courses, Challenges and what’s going on in the Creative Life Midwife world? Subscribe here:

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.


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Top 7 Writing Micro-Goals for Creative Entrepreneurs

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I’ve seen this happen with more of my coaching, healing arts and creative entrepreneur clients than I can count – and I have even done it myself. We plunk down at our desks at our designated writing times and absolutely nothing happens.

Here’s the thing: creating a small, micro-goal specifically aimed to help you with consistent content creation is deceptively simple. Try one of these on for a week. If it doesn’t appeal, try a different one for seven days. Repeat as necessary.

My secret success is from having one solid “writing not for content but for exercising the writing muscle” practice, for me it is a daily stream of conscious journaling in the morning, and then have a second micro goal I mix up and serve differently, like a writing buffet.

Watch the video here and read below for more details for each tip.

  1. My newest accidental micro-goal is a daily #RollOverandWrite. That’s it. Wake up, roll over and pick up the notebook you placed at your bedside before you went to sleep and write a few sentences.
  1. Write an affirmative intention daily in the morning. “I am capable of writing effective blog posts.” “People enjoy what I write.” “My sales letter is both effective and engaging.”
  1. Exercise for 20 minutes and write immediately after. Set up your writing space before you go for your walk, job or attend your zumba class. If you work out someplace besides your home, bring a notebook with you and write in your car or at the gym or at a picnic table in the park. Your subconscious is watching to see how important your writing is to you by the consistent time you give it.
  1. Journal/free write for a set amount of time or set number of words/pages each day. You may write as few as 250 words (approximately one page) or for three minutes. The amount of writing matters less than simply flowing with your writing rather than attempting to mold it or edit as you go along. That comes later – and believe me, if you can get the words on the page to begin with, editing will come easily.
  1. To practice writing concisely and with the most writing “bang for your buck” write a daily haiku, six word story or American Sentence poem. Any of this “very micro writing” will help you be use your best words. It will help you write compelling copy and/or characters with a more curated conversational style than you may usually write. It will teach you to cut out unnecessary words that often bog down our readers.
  1. Write a 5 item gratitude list before you go to sleep. You may also make a list of “What went well today” or “5 Good Things that happened today” list. Thesetrain your brain to focus on what is constructive and helpful in your life. A bonus is the subject of each item on the list may easily become a blog post, a social media post or a chapter in a book or poem.
  1. Use a timer to write 5 minutes a day for 5 consecutive days, #5for5BrainDump style. You may try unprompted or prompted writing. In the Let Our Words Flow Creative Community we have prompts and videos to guide you as you practice this – plus it is free to join the group which also has a thriving community, lots of tips, video teachings and daily discussion for creative entrepreneurs.

Julie JordanScott is a multipassionate creative who delights in inviting others into their own fullhearted. artistic experience via her creativity coaching individually or in groups, courses and workshops. To receive inspiring content and videos weekly and find out more about Coaching, Courses, Challenges and what’s going on in the Creative Life Midwife world? Subscribe here:

Follow on Instagram to Watch IGTV exclusive videos, stories and posts about writing and the creative process.

Let our Words Flow Writing Community: the only one missing is you! Join us in the Private Writing Group by clicking here.

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Habits, Practices & Routines: Conscious Intention Makes the Difference

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woman writes into a notebook looking very happy to see the reader.

What if I told you consistency has the power to cause a dynamic shift in your life – one that will open you up more than any resolution ever has? Let’s try this on for a moment – or maybe I am only one tired of people talking about goals and 2021 as if this new year is going to suddenly cure all of 2020’s problems?

The beginning of the year is a natural time of year for many of us to assess and start fresh, leaving old thoughts and habits behind as the bright shiny new is on the horizon. Are you one of those, like me, who enjoys such assessment?

For years, morning writing consistently as Julia Cameron titles “Morning Pages” prescribes has been an ongoing tool for many for healing and growth. The problem is, Julia Cameron couples morning pages with the unpleasantly long seeming 3 pages of writing. What if your method of consistency was easier – say three lines of writing?

Morning Pages & Early Morning Journaling Causes Positive Shifts

Writing from the stream of consciousness strips away my opinions and thoughts in such a way to discover long held mis-beliefs and shortcomings in awareness.

Notebook, coffee and the candle is what creates the intention for the sacred. Where a writing habit becomes sacred.

I don’t preplan, I just write. This is also a method I teach – and one of the challenges seems to be actually writing with the flow. Many times people get bogged down in high school composition classes and work toward the beginning, middle and ending our one-time language arts teachers suggested.

Today the prompt was “Now is the new beginning” from my longtime friend, Adela. I obviously had some stuff on my mind that wanted to get out.

Sometimes, stream of consciousness (automatic, morning pages, journaling) writing looks like this

“Now is a new beginning and betrayal appears to be an unforgivable, the chopping block is the mind reality I march up to, full of conviction. Put those unforgiveables in the thought guillotine. Watch with glee as I chop off my ____ to spite my ________.

(In special honor of cutting off my pig snout nose in spite of my less pretty than most everyone face.)

“Who cares?” the interior bland girl says as she yawns. Oatmeal colored skin, hair, lips, eyes monochromatic woman I feel like when that mid-afternoon window/door slams all tht I love about me and cuts oatmeal-color-woman, other wise known as Ecru Comma, color evaporated.

Color evaporates. Part of me dies.

Repeat.

Open for the new awareness that comes with each new beginning, each revolution, rising.

Writing Rule Breaks Here: I stepped away to let time do its part in healing

Yesterday I decided my propensity to do better in the morning than in the afternoon and evening is just something about me I have to live with, no questions asked. 

My belief sounded something like this: I am “worthless” after about 4 pm when all color evaporated from my experience and everything turned blah. I felt like sleeping at about 5 pm. I ate dinner in silence and watched the news. I was actually asleep by 8:30 pm.

This morning I woke up before 5 am and didn’t feel like getting up and I knew if I got up and started my daily practices I would feel better. At first I started with my norm – and then I thought, “What if I toss in some modifications?”

I haven’t been doing standard morning pages lately as three pages longhand without breaks was more oppressive than freeing, so I mixed in my skin care, water drinking, dressing, prepping my smoothie, meditation and stretching into my morning pages.

I added some quotes.

I took a writing prompt one of my friends wrote.

The most important a-ha came from my revolt against the norm.

I felt like Dorothy, right before she “returns” to Kansas

I am clearly the one who writes the rules for my daily practices.

I know intuitively that smaller chunks of morning time works best for my overall experience, so modifying what I have been doing with my historical 3 pages all at once helped me gain so much more than if I had forced myself to “power through.”

I also realize the energy drain may be due to not drinking enough water. Even this morning I realize my morning walking nets a lot of water and I taper down during the day.

My belief that I am a morning person may be more about my hydration and daily practices. I am now thinking about how to balance out my practices to other times of day. I do have a night time routine, but late afternoon is… empty. I have been walking on some days of the week but tend to see that as a chore more than a pleasure – so how to morph my belief and practice has the possibility of a growth unlike I’ve had in the past!

Hydration, an increase in conscious intention and no longer allowing other people’s rules or guidelines to hold power over my own intuitive knowing: all of these aspects of what I have been doing (and not doing) are worth exploring.

I feel more freedom now. It is noon and I am about to refill my water glass – and drink it. This afternoon I will meet up with a friend and feel my way into how to make my walks at the end of the day more pleasant so I may create a desire for more instead of a distaste, as if it is a punishment.

Update: it is 6 pm and none of the mid-afternoon malaise came over me.

Is it the intention of this morning’s practice or the plentiful water I have used as refreshment? We will try again tomorrow to get it better.

_ – – _ –_–_–_–_–_–_

I have created a guide to creating your 2021 word of the year. Free download available at this link here –

To JOIN Bridge to the New year, a facebook group where we meet year round as an accountability, creativity community, we also do twice a year deep reflections on our beliefs, progress and experience please visit here

If you are one who would love to find out the magic of consistency in a brand new way, I invite you to check out the One Small Shift program which starts soon. It isn’t just content, it is an experience in self-love with active, short bursts of creative process that will stick – all in a community of people who support your ambitions.

Last year I wrote a three line poem daily, this year I am hugging trees for 377 days in row. I had no idea how enriching this practice would be. Life changing, loving, visionary.

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So Much Better than Constant Drama, Drama, Drama!

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One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is recognizing the extraordinary in ordinary moments.

As I write this I am listening to an audio of rainfall in a library. I am sitrting in my Bakersfield living room “in real time” but I am listening to a recording that makes my heart so happy – and it is completely ordinary.

My coaching clients will often construct a desire or even a perceived need of a life reminiscent of a perpetual retreat experience – which would be very nice and for many of us is simply not where we are every day. Unfortunately, this also sets people up to be pretty miserable most of the time.

How to Discover the Joy in the Ordinary

One of the unusual ways I learned about the joy in the ordinary was through poetry, which many people believe contains a standard context of flowery, difficult to understand, “way above me” language and meaning.

Sunday someone said to me, “I don’t consider this poetry. This is clear and easy to understand writing, it isn’t poetry.”

Why not write about coffee, then, or sunrise?

Some of my best early poems that weren’t overly flowery or angsty were written about coffee. My first poem, in fact, was printed and carried by my love at the time. He enjoyed the poem that much. He may have liked his daily cup of coffee more, but it was a lesson to me that poetry didn’t always have to be about crisis or struggle or ecstatic experience, it can be quite effective when it is everyday and relatable. 

This morning I was chuckling over a poem written more than three hundred years ago by John Dunne. We was writing about sunrise saying, “Busy, old fool, unruly sun.”

He was mad that the sun was shining in his window at an ungodly hour, waking him and creating chaos in his mind. “Busy old fool, unruly sun” is such fun, simple word play it is clear all these years later. Ordinary and extraordinary.

Ordinary: 365 Times a Year, Sunrise Happens

When I wrote my first coffee poem, I hadn’t discovered Billy Collins or Mary Oliver or even William Carlos Williams who wrote so effectively about eating the plums in his refrigerator and realized his wife may have had a different plan for the plums.  (For reference, that poem is “This is Just to Say.”

This reality – that I could write poetry about coffee and an infinite ways to describe the sunrise – was quite a revelation. Poems don’t need to be written about angst or discomfort or romance.

As I wrote this blog post, I found a poem I wrote in 2010.

In the poem, I write of the sun thanking me for taking the time to unwrap her. 365 or 6 times every year she reappears, most often without note. Ordinary and extraordinary all at the same time.

Write Like Jerry Seinfeld: Ordinary worked for him!

Jerry Seinfeld made a career out of joking about nothing in particular and my favorite television show of my twenties was a show about nothing (and everything) called “thirtysomething” – back then I thought they were so mature, Elliot and Nancy, Michael and Hope and their daughter named Jane. 

Writing of the ordinary, extraordinary is as important a subject as one may ever have. Wrestling with the plain, the unflavored, the (what some might call) boring may become your favorite writing of all.

Perhaps you aren’t ready to believe me yet.

In that case, your writing prompts await, not unlike a romantic suitor waiting to whisk you away for an evening of revelry.

Writing Prompts: Discovery & Writing Practice Specialized for Your Form of Writing

Coffee Mugs and Coffee beans frame writing prompts for numerous niche writers: Social Media posts, poetry prompts, fiction writers and more.

Copy & Paste Texts: (Use these to copy right into your text or direct message box and send – or personalize for your situation. Surprise someone with a text message they weren’t expecting!)

  1. It doesn’t need to be a special day for me to remind you how special you are to me!
  2. I’m drinking my morning coffee wishing I was sharing a mug with you.
  3. I just watched (name a TV series or movie) and it reminded me of the simple yet wonderful days we have had together!

Entrepreneurs: What is the most extraordinary (yet seemingly ordinary) quality of the product or service you provide? How can you accentuate the simplicity of it?

Social Media Posts: What you think is everyday in your life may fascinate your followers. Show your most behind-the-scenes/behind-the-scenes in an upcoming post.

Video Prompt: Project yourself back to your school days and make a video that is about a “how-to” and share something simple like tying your shoes or how to hold a pencil. Then stay very present to the reality there may be a time when people no longer hold pencils or tie shoes. 

Fiction Writers: Set the stage for a regular/ordinary day in the moments before something really outrageous or unexpected happens. 

Lifestyle Bloggers: The pandemic has given us a lesson in how quickly things change. Share a blog post of something that has stayed the same – and why you treasure it even more now.

Memoir/Life Writers: Take a dull scene you need to write in order for a more interesting scene to make sense and insert an interesting object to spice it up. Yes, make the object the star and see what energy that gives to the sequence.

Poets: It was a poem about coffee that helped improve ALL my writing. What is something everyday YOU will write about?

Copywriters: How would you sell and market a completely ordinary project? Write some practice copy and then think how to use it in your actual copy assignments. 

Journaling Quotes & General Prompts

  1. “I never doubted that equal rights was the right direction. Most reforms, most problems are complicated. But to me there is nothing complicated about ordinary equality.”

Alice Paul

Prompt: When people make things more complicated than they are, I wonder…..

  1. “If we had a keen vision of all that is ordinary in human life, it would be like hearing the grass grow or the squirrel’s heart beat, and we should die of that roar which is the other side of silence.”

George Eliot

Prompt: I imagine the sound of grass grow is much like….. And that makes me feel (continue to follow the thread to see what unlikely place the sound of grass growing may take you.)

  1. “My mother is a big believer in being responsible for your own happiness. She always talked about finding joy in small moments and insisted that we stop and take in the beauty of an ordinary day. When I stop the car to make my kids really see a sunset, I hear my mother’s voice and smile.”

Jennifer Garner

Prompt: Watch a sunset and write what you see… like the sun is giving dictation.

Find a supportive writing community via a Facebook Group:

How would your writing productivity change if you received varied, niche driven writing prompts daily – also fiction, poetry, entrepreneur, copy writing and video prompts are offered, join the Private Word-Love Writing Community on Facebook by clicking here.

We look forward to writing with you!

Julie JordanScott lives in Bakersfield, California in a house too small for quarantine life. She leads discussions on Zoom and is polishing her most recent memoir and some poetry for soon-to-be publication. If you would like her to speak to your group over ZOOM until travel is available again, she would be happy to talk to you about that OR maybe you are looking for a slightly quirky, very open hearted, compassionate and tender Creative Life Coach. She would love to connect with you soon.

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Last night I didn’t feel, this morning I wrote…

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Last night I didn’t feel well, so I opted out of book club and then tossed and turned and kvetched the night away, shaking my fist at the new moon until I allowed her to hold me close.

This morning I wrote my 35th haiku in thirty-five consecutive days. I haven’t left my porch yet. I continued with my morning writing practice and lit my candle in another new, sustaining ritual pointing towards intentional connection in all I do, make and live. I did this before I drank my first cup of coffee.

I don’t know what today will hold specifically and I have several distinctive containers – a toastmasters meeting and a book club meeting – for deliberate connections with people. As I wrote that sentence, it occurred to me I may take those appointments (before this I saw them as duties) as ways to truly see and hear specific people who also gather in these groups.

What I mean by “seeing and hearing specific people” is I will not only mindfully listen to people as they speak, I will also initiate conversations with people who may not be engaged – those who may be feeling left out or unimportant to others in the group.

When I show up this way it isn’t so much of a battle to get there, although I believe a shower is in order and I have yet to achieve that!

Why is this worthy of sharing on my blog?

It is worthy of sharing because our future is built on our everyday moments, our conscious intention or lack thereof. If we choose to stay focused on anger and disassociation from everyone who doesn’t think, feel, create and move through the day exactly as we do, we miss opportunities for surprise, delight and increased meaning and creativity.

What of this message today resonates with you?

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Good Job, Dear Friend

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Focus on Practice Just Write

“I have turned away from myself, ” I thought, this morning.

A trigger, a “oh no not that!” feeling rose from my gut. It wasn’t a running away screaming with my arms flailing, it was a quietly tip toe away so no one notices and climbing into a corner behind a curtain so that no one would take notice of my disappearance and then….
I realized this is what I have habitually done.

Past, present and now with awareness may cross off my “to-do” list or “to be forgiven for when arises in the future” list.

So interesting, this self-witness thing because in the turning away from myself, I am actually turning away from the gifts I bring to this world, it is like shutting off a valve of all that is good and right and pleasing to others as well as myself.

Do you ever find yourself doing this? Please tell me I am not alone in this.

I give myself the gift of five minutes to write and I find myself holding my face in my hands like in “The Scream” by Edvard Munch except my face is lifeless and numb, not outwardly screaming at all but…..

Perhaps this is the quintessential Julie scream. Numb, not even noticing myself pull away until I have sunk into unconscious disconnection.

I look around the room. My messy art table, my floor that needs a once (or several times) over.

Note to self. You are seeing. You are feeling. You are writing. You are alive.

You have now turned back to yourself.

Well done, good and faithful friend.

Coffee as a waker upper today and through July

I’ve been absent from here. My intention is to write a five-minute-blog post daily (or as close as I’m able) starting in July and figured this was as good a time as any to begin. I literally grabbed a random photo as a header… it fit… and am looking forward to writing this week with the #5for5BrainDump I’m running this week. Here’s to taking off the numb and beginning again, again.

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Daily Making Diaries: Four Months Until Katherine’s Birthday & Christmas!

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  • This post was written #5for5BrainDump style which means – it was written using stream of consciousness writing for 5 minutes. No editing or forethought of content. Images were added later. #5for5BrainDump writing is meant to be an exploration of personal growths and a mini a-ha incubator… a collector of insights and awarenesses written on purpose… for no purpose.

It was a divine call today, I hadn’t even thought of stopping at the park on my drive home. I thought I would stop at a parking garage and take some panorama shots of metro Bakersfield. It was an ugly-sky-morning and I thought that was what I was meant to capture.

I am focusing on daily making, a practice of daily creativity because I know in doing this – a determined crafting of something – it will positively impact my entrepreneurship. It activates different parts of my mind that have been lying, dormant, waiting for me to shake myself back into life.

I decided I would purposefully capture images not at my ultimate destination of the moment, instead to capture scenery along the way. Interesting how yesterday’s imagery informed today’s choices.

I felt led to a park instead of a parking garage.

I did a fair share of stretching and bending and posing which felt almost yogic which felt great and was a response to my slight whining while I was getting ready for bed, “I need to stretch my hips more, this is ridiculous” and even though this morning I didn’t have “stretch your hips” on the list, there I was, stretching my hips as I squatted to get this, and other photos, so that I might tell the story the imagery was calling me to tell.

Even writing this feels awfully intimate and not entirely safe.

Two seconds and my five minute writing session will be over.

The bells ring. I’m awake. I’ve been uncomfortable enough and thrilled enough this morning.

 

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Darkness: Courage & Being Open to What’s Best

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“In order for the moonflower to completely open, it has to bathe in darkness. I am not a big fan of the dark. It scares me. Still. Yet I cannot walk by this flower without bowing to it, without putting my face close to its opened-by-the-dark heart.”

I am intimidated at cataloguing times of darkness because not only am I afraid of the dark, I am afraid of stacking up towers of memory that threaten me. Sometimes I feel like my life has been either a long, disappointing not-happily-ending-lifetime movie or actually series of movies because I have so many dark days it is almost comical.

Like my new-still-in-therapy-probation-therapist said, “You are interested in too many things” maybe it is the unprocessed darkness soup I have on my metaphorical stove. Maybe that is it.

Maybe I have never bathed in the separate flavors of darkness soup so they haven’t been able to turn into stepping stones I may rise above so the suction moves me instead into infinitely hellacious quicksand, which I’ve learned doesn’t actually exist in the way we might think it does.

And I edit myself.

I stop myself thinking “Julie, you want to publish this and right now you are sounding more than a little ridiculous. I know Beth the dog is wandering about and I hear the sweet little chirping bird and you, in this downward spiraling rant, are sounding like…. A fire engine rumbling on your front porch without any specific fire to put out but it can smell the smoke, continually, always looking threatening so it just sits there, rumbling, doesn’t even have the siren on.”

My timer goes off signifying I’ve been attempting to make some semblance of form from this dark amorphous blob and it’s time to stop.

Even in this gobbled gook I see threads I may return to for clarity: the darkness soup turned into stepping stone soup. The fire truck, loudly idling. Lots of smoke, no seemingly productive fire.

Do you see anything else of merit I might write my way into more deeply from what I’ve written here?

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