Creative Life Midwife

Inspiring Artistic Rebirth

Daily Making Diaries: Four Months Until Katherine’s Birthday & Christmas!

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  • This post was written #5for5BrainDump style which means – it was written using stream of consciousness writing for 5 minutes. No editing or forethought of content. Images were added later. #5for5BrainDump writing is meant to be an exploration of personal growths and a mini a-ha incubator… a collector of insights and awarenesses written on purpose… for no purpose.

It was a divine call today, I hadn’t even thought of stopping at the park on my drive home. I thought I would stop at a parking garage and take some panorama shots of metro Bakersfield. It was an ugly-sky-morning and I thought that was what I was meant to capture.

I am focusing on daily making, a practice of daily creativity because I know in doing this – a determined crafting of something – it will positively impact my entrepreneurship. It activates different parts of my mind that have been lying, dormant, waiting for me to shake myself back into life.

I decided I would purposefully capture images not at my ultimate destination of the moment, instead to capture scenery along the way. Interesting how yesterday’s imagery informed today’s choices.

I felt led to a park instead of a parking garage.

I did a fair share of stretching and bending and posing which felt almost yogic which felt great and was a response to my slight whining while I was getting ready for bed, “I need to stretch my hips more, this is ridiculous” and even though this morning I didn’t have “stretch your hips” on the list, there I was, stretching my hips as I squatted to get this, and other photos, so that I might tell the story the imagery was calling me to tell.

Even writing this feels awfully intimate and not entirely safe.

Two seconds and my five minute writing session will be over.

The bells ring. I’m awake. I’ve been uncomfortable enough and thrilled enough this morning.

 

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Darkness: Courage & Being Open to What’s Best

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“In order for the moonflower to completely open, it has to bathe in darkness. I am not a big fan of the dark. It scares me. Still. Yet I cannot walk by this flower without bowing to it, without putting my face close to its opened-by-the-dark heart.”

I am intimidated at cataloguing times of darkness because not only am I afraid of the dark, I am afraid of stacking up towers of memory that threaten me. Sometimes I feel like my life has been either a long, disappointing not-happily-ending-lifetime movie or actually series of movies because I have so many dark days it is almost comical.

Like my new-still-in-therapy-probation-therapist said, “You are interested in too many things” maybe it is the unprocessed darkness soup I have on my metaphorical stove. Maybe that is it.

Maybe I have never bathed in the separate flavors of darkness soup so they haven’t been able to turn into stepping stones I may rise above so the suction moves me instead into infinitely hellacious quicksand, which I’ve learned doesn’t actually exist in the way we might think it does.

And I edit myself.

I stop myself thinking “Julie, you want to publish this and right now you are sounding more than a little ridiculous. I know Beth the dog is wandering about and I hear the sweet little chirping bird and you, in this downward spiraling rant, are sounding like…. A fire engine rumbling on your front porch without any specific fire to put out but it can smell the smoke, continually, always looking threatening so it just sits there, rumbling, doesn’t even have the siren on.”

My timer goes off signifying I’ve been attempting to make some semblance of form from this dark amorphous blob and it’s time to stop.

Even in this gobbled gook I see threads I may return to for clarity: the darkness soup turned into stepping stone soup. The fire truck, loudly idling. Lots of smoke, no seemingly productive fire.

Do you see anything else of merit I might write my way into more deeply from what I’ve written here?

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Writing Prompt: Today I am Choosing….

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Our writing prompt today offers a choice in perspectives. To get your subconscious mind started, consider and respond via comment your initial “gut/heart” response to “Today, I am choosing….. “

As you write for five minutes, allow the opposite or different its space if it enters into your writing. This is a part of “righting” your beliefs and experiences. For “righting” practice, try, “I once chose lack and what I discovered was…..” and as you complete each sentence add, “I now consciously choose abundance.”

Here is what I wrote during my time of 5 minutes of free flow writing we call #5for5BrainDump:

Today I am choosing abundance. I look out my window and I see the early morning slanted light, curling its finger at me, inviting me into a day of lush color and form. I once chose lack and what I discovered was black, white and grey scale. I discovered nit picking and rock throwing and finger poking. I now consciously choose abundance. I don’t choose airy-fairy outside reality abundance, I see abundance in the times of mishaps as well – there is something about the dappled shadow-light I especially love.

I grant myself permission to make mistakes when I choose abundance. In fact, it isn’t even a right or wrong thing when I choose abundance it is a “hmmm. Check this out” kind of thing. In fact, I often feel wobbly when I choose abundance because I am practicing the creation of new more empowering beliefs to build my life upon rather than the oft times destructive nature of lack. Lack architecture has building blocks of “don’t do,” and “can’t do” and “oh my gosh, you’re such an embarrassment.”

Abundance architecture is built upon beams of playful experimentation, hugs of compassion when setback appear, deep eye contact and laughter based in love, not lack’s chosen companion of humiliation.

Today I am choosing abundance. I am choosing to agree with divine favor. I am choosing to be open to what comes and discern as I lift my foot and put it down.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Check out the links below to follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.

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What Brings Light to the Darkness? Daily Writing, Everytime

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I didn’t know for certain whether I would write today. I’ve been feeling lousy – new medicine and adjustments to it have not been smooth – and I just didn’t feel like it.

Yes, that would be me, who knows and has known for years, the value of daily writing practice.

What is up with that?

I sat at my desk for a tiny slice of time and made a writing affirmation image and realized the message was as much for me as it is for anyone else.

Funny how often that happens.

So I will stand hand-in-hand, heart-to-heart, soul-to-soul with the affirmation I just wrote.

Read it, say it, write it with me now:

Daily writing brings light to the darkness. When I write, I feel confident, capable and courageous.

Yes, that statement is true. I have remembered and written into that truth so many times: daily writing does bring light to the darkness. It helps to process what may feel unsayable until it is written. It is silent and you are with it alone – with no one else lobbing judgment at you, you say to yourself what is so and in doing exactly that, you shine the light on it.

When I confess to the page, “I feel lousy, this medicine has been kicking my butt straight into silence” is like a flashlight of clarity. “Wow, it has been keeping me from doing what I love. I haven’t done many livestream broadcasts because I’ve been so tired. I haven’t made many images and beyond my braindumping, I haven’t written at all.”

The light of clarity reminds me I don’t have to stay in this zone of silence, this disempowering slice of experience.

Instead, I realize while it may be the medicine’s side effects at cause, I may now make choices and step into a variety of solutions.

And writing for five minutes, #5for5BrainDump style has power.

Here’s more evidence.

(My timer went off three sentences ago this time. I’ll stop and hit publish, even if the confession itself feels wobbly. That’s part of being courageous.)

 

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops,

Coming Up: 30 Days of Writing Passionately

books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist  whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Check out the links below to follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.

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Secret Hint to Making The Most from Your Brain Dump Experience

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Two memorable conversations keep popping into my head as I begin to write:

  1. Never go to bed angry.
  2. Love means never having to say you’re sorry.

I don’t know that I whole heartedly agree (or disagree, actually) with either of them.

I agree, it is better for our overall feelings of positivity and gratitude if we fall asleep in a state of contented curiosity rather than angry lament, but sometimes the energy of anger clears out a lot of gunk – or is that just our habitual way of experiencing the world?

I could talk (write) myself into a corner with this one and perhaps that is part of the point my subconscious and writing practice is making here.

We make it a practice to complete our brain dumps and free flow writing with thirty seconds of gratitude and praise about anything: what you may have discovered and uncovered during writing or anything at all. The point is to finish the writing practice on an emotional upswing.

If we always ended our writing practice feeling like garbage most of us would give up our writing practice. It is natural to want to feel better.

We don’t want to feel like crap, we inherently want to feel well or at least better than when we sat down to write.

Maybe part of your gratitude IS saying you are sorry.

Love and forgiveness go hand-in-hand as do love and gratitude.

Admitting our weaknesses – is a pathway to wholeness and gratitude.

(And the timer tells me five minutes is up – so this concludes today’s entry about one of my favorite secrets to always ending on an upbeat note, thus preserving the practice that is such a grand, sustaining partner in my life.)

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

 Follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.

 

 

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Reawakening Love for The Writing Process Itself

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It is one of the most powerful questions you may ask yourself: “What do I really, truly want in this wild and wonderful life I’ve been given?”

As writers, we may ask specifically about our writing, “What do I really, truly want to create with my writing? How do I want my writing process to feel?”

We may ask, “How may I awaken my love for the writing process?”

I wish I  could tell you the answer naturally rushes out in a beautifully crafted message right from my subconscious to my keyboard.

It doesn’t usually happen like that. Instead, a process we come to know as even more delicious than instantly having an answer takes place and instead of just “getting an answer” I give myself room to fall back in love with writing.

Stay with me so you may deepen or fall in love all over again with both your creative process AND your life.  I will share with you what I wrote in five minutes. I am taking that risk, I am allowing you into my own writing perfect imperfections. It is scary for me AND I am willing to go there because it is so important for each of us.

“When love awakens in your life, it is like a rebirth, a new beginning.”

John O’Donohue

I started to write:

Think outside of the realm of romantic love now.

If I reawakened to the love in my writing life, I would discover… my words have more merit and meaning than I had originally believed. In fact, I haven’t believed deeply enough in eons. Or at least a long time. Eons, that’s a bit of hyperbole.

Isn’t it funny how a moment in time may feel like eons? It may feel like hyperbole too. Maybe we should write about love AS hyperbole. Maybe we should write about love being someone else drinking the yummilicous coffee I made for myself. Or stealing the chocolate bar (for myself) or… enter your weird quirk here.

“My sun sets to rise again.”

Robert Browning

Settling in, I think about Nutella sandwiches. I think about my slouchery as a mother. I think “What will my babies eat if I don’t map it out?”

= = =

There are so many distractions as I sit here and attempt to write for five minutes about awakening love for my writing process. I see a broom and want to sweep, I look at the clock and I want to assemble lunch for my children and get out into the money making flow “hurry it up hurry it up hurry it up!” I hear in my inner ear. Oh, Lord I can’t do it all – my anxiety reaches for my throat to shut my voice – my writing voice – down.

Five minutes. That’s all.

My fingers continue to move, on the keyboard focused.

Reawaken love for the process.

Let go of end result. Welcome bad or mediocre or lukewarm results. (Youch!) Yes, even lukewarm.

Awaken to the process being enough. This is so un-pilgrim-esqu: we are trained to insist upon results that are only in our favor. “There must be a something in order to continue I can’t just continue for a nothing that makes no sense.”

Writing this is not a nothing. Writing these words is definitely a something.

Process is worth all of the wonder and exhilaration of being on a best seller list or having twenty five people pay a thousand dollars to hear me speak.

My community is rising up to greet me and say “Bring your work forward with and for us” it is almost surreal, beloveds, almost surreal.”

Is it still less than five minutes?

I heard the coffee pot call me, the coffee pot that has been creating really tasty coffee lately.

I think of the squirrel and planning and play. And me. And love. And movement.

And applause. (My timer applauds when my time is up.) All that in five minutes.

= = =

Now it is your turn to take today’s prompt and write from it. You may write once or you may write several times.

“How may I awaken my love for the writing process?”

Remember to set your timer for five minutes and after your time is up, spend fifteen to thirty seconds writing what you are grateful for either from the writing experience or from your life in general.

The world is waiting for your words: let’s get them on the page now.

Be sure to follow me so you may continue to stay close to this sort of writing inspiration to keep your writing flowing and your life moving in the direction your heart seeks.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Check out the links below to follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.

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Truth: Writing Always Makes Me Feel Better so Write Even When You Don’t Feel Like Writing

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Write your response – mine is below –

Writing always makes me feel better.

No matter what, even if in the midst of it, I feel like crap – even if I’m sweating and cursing and writing flat out garbage, I know when the day is done I can say “I wrote three hundred words” or “I wrote one decent sentence” or “hell, I threw words on the page and that is something…”

It has to be something.

It is, indeed, something.

Writing always makes me feel better.

I set the timer for five minutes. I take a bite of donut and a gulp of coffee.

I’m writing.

Writing always makes me feel better.

It’s like easing out of a sore throat, drinking the tea and lemon water. It helps. Not always immediately apparent and it helps. I wake up and can speak more clearly. Like with writing. I throw words down, even gobbled gook, and my mind clears, just slightly.

Like sweeping away the mulberries or the darn spider webs that reproduce in Bakersfield when you walk around the block there are suddenly more. Always. Writing always makes me feel better.

Sometimes it’s simply cataloguing: “They changed the chocolate recipe. It is more thick than I like. That girl is being a volunteer and wants to be a nurse. She knew of Sheila “My friends were always talking about her,” they said she said.

That chocolate is too thick. I think I have a chocolate beard now but I keep writing because I know, I know, I know. Writing always makes me feel better.

I think back to when Samuel was first diagnosed.

I think back to when Writing Crew met at 11 every day on twitter and I wrote alongside them every single day or nearly, a sacred call.

Writing always makes me feel better.

Always.

Someone texted me. I am ignoring it because the timer will ring when my five minutes are up and this is where I need to be, not checking my phone, not answering the door, not looking at my bank balance or threatening my son’s teacher. (That last one is totally untrue but I didn’t know where to go with my words and fiction always works in a pinch.)

The timer goes off, piercing, like an annoying alarm on a travel clock I once carried in what feels like someone else’s life.

I notice, I do feel slightly better.

It works.

Writing always makes me feel better.

===

Creative Life Midwife Julie Jordan Scott writes on the road,, when she sits in cafes or in train station. She writes, always.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Check out the links below to follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.

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