Today I woke up fuzzy. My old narrative would have fussed and scrolled around facebook and felt negative about not getting enough done. This morning, instead, I decided to start fairly early with a 5 minute brain dump session.
I decided a quote would be good inspiration and when I first looked for a quote about clarity and found lots of clichés and quotes that sounded more like drill-sergeant-speak I did a different search term (which I’ve forgotten) and found this:
“Can anything be sadder than work left unfinished? Yes; work never begun.” — Christina Rossetti
I woke up this morning hours before I finally lifted myself out of bed. I don’t know when exactly it was and I don’t think I slept very deeply or sweetly in the interim, I just know eventually the sky got brighter and Samuel started moving about and I knew I needed to rise and shine and do something.
After the bare essentials were complete and I returned home, I still felt that struggly feeling of “What do I do?” (When this particular narrative line is repeated in fast succession and at all based in fear… anxiety rises).
I knew there was a list somewhere (Life Guideline#1 I attempt to live by is to write a possibility list before I go to sleep. I hadn’t on that day. ).
Even as I drove Samuel to school I attempted to prioritize in my mind and again and I got nowhere.
So now, I write, and I think, and I throw words down in attempt to clear my mind and allow myself the space to move forward.
This week has been about getting things done: curating and completion. I have curated and I haven’t done much completion. There is a part of me that feels like a failure and I know where I might have made different choices and gotten more completed.
I can’t change those choices I made before, but I can change what happens next.
My eyes scan back up to the quote I started with as inspiration:
Christina Rossetti said, “Can anything be sadder than work left unfinished? Yes; work never begun.”
The timer goes off so I will use the next three or so minutes to make my list. The first thing I will do is create an attractive, artful “Possibility list” to continue the kick start.
Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world. She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!
To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session or to request she speak at your next event, call or text her at 661.444.2735