Creative Life Midwife

Inspiring Artistic Rebirth

Make Space for Hopes, Goals, Dreams & Passion in Your Calendar

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I know what it is to be a busy, creative entrepreneur with a family, a business and outside commitments that keep me busy. Sometimes it is a challenge to ask ourselves straight up questions like:

What items on my calendar reflect how I honor my hopes, dreams, goals and passions?

Because I know how important it is for each of us, I am going to go through the process myself. Warning: I get very vulnerable and honest. You may or may not feel comfortable doing the same AND that is completely fine. The best place to start is where you are right now.

Through this exercise I learned I needed to start on the edge of where I am right now.

I recently moved 3,000 miles from home partially because my calendar had been prioritized almost exclusively on making life work better for other people.

Assess What Went Wrong with Authenticity and Honesty

When I look back, I can say “I don’t know how this happened!” or I can be honest and see the slow moving tilting into “other people’s things matter more than mine” and “people seem to love me more when I do things for them at the expense of moving my projects forward.”

If only I had started looking at my calendar according to me hopes, dreams, goals and passions I might have been able to stop the downward spiral before making such a drastic move.

Maybe I could have made this move because it feels good instead of because I was too afraid to even begin to put it into words what was happening.

Maybe if I stopped worrying about what I should be doing and instead took a more balanced approach between what would best serve my goals and ambitions and what would serve the ambitions of my children, my partner and my collaborative partners – there would have been breathing room left for me to work on the callings of my heart.

Step Back So The Reality is More Clear

Now that I have stepped back, I can see the genesis of this schism started due to trauma layered upon trauma layered upon trauma without taking time to heal, stretch or process in between the traumatic events.

I went to therapy intermittently, but I didn’t ever go deep enough or out far enough beyond the traumatic episode to make peace and completely integrate the trauma.

There was always a sense of one of these:

  • “Hurry up! There isn’t enough time!”
  • “People need me, I am only valued as far as I am needed so I better make myself indispensable now!”
  • “Be prepared for the next crisis!” Any ringing phone in the middle of the day meant there was a crisis at school which would require my instant intervention. I can’t work normal hours, I can’t take in many clients again after what happened that last time and an escalating sense of … I can’t…I can’t…. I can’t….

Even while reading this short blog-post-in-progress I think “I can fictionalize this me character so no one knows.”

Remember the most important Life Coaching Questions?

When I work with clients, some of the most common clients I ask them are also questions I am best off asking myself, too.

What am I afraid of?

Will you please take a deep breath with me? (and then repeat the question).

What am I afraid of?

Another deep breath.

What will it take to calm the memories of trauma right now?

One more deep breath – 

I am safe now. I have plenty of time to do what I need to do. I am loved.

If these questions ring a bell for you, please use them as journaling prompts so that we can get back to the core of the initial question:

What items on the calendar reflect how you honor your hopes, dreams, goals and passions?

Here are examples of how I responded to these questions, unedited and raw:

What am I afraid of:

I am afraid people won’t like, value or believe in me as a creative life coach if they see how fragile I can be at times of personal stress. In reality, there may be people who won’t value or believe in me as a life coach -and those are not people suited to me or my coaching practice, programs or courses.

What will it take to calm the memories of trauma right now?

In this circumstance I wrote this blog post, even though vulnerable.

I affirmed in writing and meditatively “I am safe. I reminded myself the memory is not what is right now. There is plenty of time to do all I need to do. Plus I am capable of making adjustments as necessary. I am safe.”

I reminded and practiced: I can always take calm, slow breaths. I can practice square-breathing. I can practice alternate nostril breath.

Return to the Real Work Once the Space has Been Held and Cleared for Movement Forward

Now I can clearly assess my calendar to see how I have done to create pockets of time for what is important to me. 

  • Have I scheduled time to develop my most important projects, ones that will help me reach my financial and professional goals?
  • Have I scheduled time for my passion projects?
  • Have I scheduled time for self-care?

Immediately I feel better.

CS Lewis wisely wrote, “”You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” Your calendar may be out of balance right now, but paying attention will allow you to take action towards better solutions that may begin right away.

Julie JordanScott is a multipassionate creative who delights in inviting others into their own fullhearted, artistic experience via her creativity coaching individually or in groups, courses and workshops. To receive inspiring content and videos weekly and find out more about Coaching, Courses, Challenges and what’s going on in the Creative Life Midwife world? Subscribe here:

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To Do For Them (and) To Do For Me: Your Higher Self Agrees, You Are Important, too

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Woman is making a heart in the mirror, remembering SHE is important, too. Our higher self wants us to know this!

Early this morning I sat on my bed with my phone and a couple choices to make in my hand. Samuel got off work early. He texted me at 6:30 to ask if I could come pick him up.  Immediately I raced into high gear.

One Surprise Change Can Change Everything, Instantly

I shape my morning routines around his schedule. 

With my car headed North on the Freeway,  I noted my speed at getting out the door when my kid needed me versus when I am “only doing this for me.”

When the choice is on his behalf I’m quick, I’m focused, I’m energized and precise. “Hurry up, he is waiting! It is cold out there.”

When it is only for me, I’m sluggish, distracted sprinkled with a dash of apathetic. “As long as I have an hour for walking, its all ok.”

Haiku to the Rescue

I took a photo of an intersection for my morning haiku, a daily practice of mindfulness and creative practice. It wasn’t the most inspired imagery I have shot in the last three-hundred-plus consecutive days, but it told the story.

An intersection in Bakersfield, California inspired a haiku, one of 377 written by Julie JordanScott in 2019/2020

Haiku 307/377 — October 27, 2020

Sitting at the crossroads

dream mirrors reality

your new day is here

The intersection told me the choice of urgency for another person’s needs and sluggishness for my own isn’t cast in stone. The choice is up to me: my desires, my ambitions, my hopes are as significant as every other person on the planet – even my children and world leaders.

Now it is up to me to take this new awareness and practice it.

Remember to call upon your Higher Self for advice

After I dropped Samuel at home, I hesitated. I could just go inside, too,  and forget about the walk I had planned.  I wondered what my higher self would suggest before I made the best choice.

I took a walk on different than usual streets. I stayed out the same length of time – because walking is for my health and for raising my spirit, which is important for me in all the roles I play.

I’ve been a Mom for a long time so naturally I go on high gear when I think my child needs me no matter what their age is. It is time for ME to remember my value partially because I want to continue to be their Mommy for a long time to come.

Questions for Contemplation & Journaling

How well do you treat yourself in comparison to others?

What can you do to shift back into a more equitable approach?

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Julie JordanScott lives in Bakersfield, California in a house too small for quarantine life. She leads discussions on Zoom and is polishing her most recent memoir and some poetry for soon-to-be publication. If you would like her to speak to your group over ZOOM until travel is available again, she would be happy to talk to you about that OR maybe you are looking for a slightly quirky, very open hearted, compassionate and tender Creative Life Coach. She would love to speak with you soon.

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Stop the Writer’s (or any) Block Before It Stops You

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Block – the brick wall – it shows up for the best of us.

If people insist they don’t know what it feels like to be stuck or blocked or feel resistance, I would question their authenticity.

Maybe I am judging my imperfection or maybe I recognize nature ebbs and flows and as we are a part of nature, block is bound to happen. What matters is what we do as individuals when blocks appear.

Randy Pausch shared this quote which I return to whenever the block starts to feel too big:

“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough.”

A brick wall with plants on the side including a quote from Julie Jordan Scott "Blocks appear in order to reconnect us with our desires." and the prompt: "When I started this, what was my intention?" BONUS: Restart your writing with a sentence (or more) of gratitude.

1.  Leave “the problem” of block where it lives. Walk away and restrict your thought about the block itself, especially if those thoughts are coated in negative self-talk.

2.  Do mundane, meaningless activities, especially if they will be of service to others.

3.  If you are compelled, research another area of passion in your life.

4.  Stay away from the “problem” until you are at peace with “it” and, in fact, are able to not consider it problematic anymore.

5.  Remember, it isn’t “the problem” that is the problem, it is your opinion about the problem that creates the lack of movement and the sticky malaise. If you say “Writing block sucks!” it will suck. If you say “This block is giving my opportunity for growth – and in the future I will warmly embrace growth without the block!”

I took my own advice when I was blocked yesterday – and once again my writing flows, proving sometimes the best medicine for what ails you is to step away and focus anywhere except “the block” or “the problem” or “my ridiculous inabilities.”

Julie JordanScott creates content to inspire creative people to lead more satisfying lives even during this pandemic. Walking and sitting at the Panorama Bluffs helps her feel centered.

Julie JordanScott, the Creative Life Midwife, is a writer, a poet performer, a Creativity Coach, A Social Media Whiz and a Mother of three. One of her greatest joys include loving people into their greatness they just aren’t quite able to realize yet. 

Julie is also one of the Founders of Bridge to the New Year. Join us now in mid-2020 in #Refresh2020 to reflect, connect, intend and taking passionate action to create a truly remarkable rest of 2020. 

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