Gratitude – Creative Life Midwife

Gratitude: Ordinary Beautiful & You

December 14, 2018 by jjscreativelifemidwife Leave a Comment

What am I grateful for in 2018?

I’m staring across the room, looking at a candle I lit about a half hour ago as I settled in to see who I might connect with: what like hearted people, people with whom I might build a positive relationship in order to make this world a better place through writing and the creative process.

Now I am quiet, attempting a go at naming only three things I am grateful for in 2018.

Only three. I am setting the timer to write for five minutes or else I might get stuck trying to make this perfect, which it will be no matter what, anyway.

I am grateful for tenacity. In early Summer things looked ridiculously bleak. After the year started with such promise, but July, I was despondent. It wasn’t until the last six weeks or so that I felt consistently better about myself and about the year.
I am grateful I started reaching out again to different people thanks in great part because of local groups and people using social media. I found KWESI and my new Cameroonian family and I took that extraordinary day trip to the Tejon Ranch artist in residence day that was so spectacular my mood was bright for weeks afterwards. That was a really big thing I almost missed but I hung in there and did it. So grateful.
I am beyond words grateful to everyone who is participating in Bridge to the New Year. I have cried repeatedly to Paula who started it with me because I have wanted to do something like this for years, literally, and in doing it I feel like I am shedding a lot of excess ugly thoughts and no longer constructive attachments. I am looking forward to more people showing up in the last two weeks of December and am excited to be adding a week of brain dumping into the mix, too. Every day in every way, better and better and better.

I purposefully didn’t add “big things” (except for The Bridge) because I know gratitude best in the small moments, the day to day, the extraordinary ordinary. A lit candle, the voice of my son asking me for something or another, a clean desk. Grateful. For you reading? Thank you, more than you know.

What are you grateful for?

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The Why it Happened or the Reason Isn’t What Matters, Responding Now is What Matters: Write What You Need to Say

September 26, 2017 by jjscreativelifemidwife Leave a Comment

I realized something today, something somewhat simple – well, absolutely simple actually. I’m sort of embarrassed to even say it AND I realize in saying it there is power so here goes.

I have spent far too much time looking at who I was “before” rather than being present with who I am right now – and how the who I am right now is far more valuable to the world right now than who I was then.

Ten years ago I had a domino effect of horrible, lifetime movie inspiring themes take place within a matter of months and they effectively shattered me. I was crushed, defeated and fell to my knees with my face hitting the ground in one of those slo-mo fight scene sort of ways.

I attempted to get up and didn’t. And repeat. And repeat. And probably repeated again in that I got distracted and then I got scared and then I got scared of the distraction and while I could still talk a good game and though I kept writing, I didn’t keep taking action that made my work profitable – certainly not at a sustainable level and not as it was ten years prior.

I felt hopelessly stuck.

I talked about it in therapy and got lost in more fear, more breakthroughs but still not forward progress toward sustainable work.

This year my life took another hit and if I didn’t make changes I couldn’t feed my kids kind of crisis I knew something had to give and I fell into yet deeper depression, this worse (if there is such a thing) than I did ten years ago.

Perhaps worst of all is I managed to slowly drip away all sheds of optimism I once carried, so I couldn’t look to light anymore because I couldn’t see light anymore.

About two months ago I called the mental health crisis hotline a couple times, just needing to have the comforting feeling that someone cared about me because I had found my way back into the space where I didn’t want to trouble people in my immediate circles with the depths of my depression and I doubted they cared or if they did care, I doubted they had the resources or the patience to deal with me.

Last Thursday my new therapist asked “What caused you the most pain in the last ten years?” or something like that and I was “struck dumb” as the saying goes in that I couldn’t speak.

It was like a noose was around my neck, pulling tighter and tighter and the pain from my throat became increasingly unbearable with the gravity of the question and my inability to point to one thing immediately just that the question hurt too much to respond to and I didn’t want to start talking because I might start crying and not be able to stop and I am just. so. tired. of. crying.

Odd thing is I’ve been slowly feeling better.

I can’t point to a why or an a-ha moment or a medicine or a new diet or exercise routine. I have been broadcasting daily, I have been communicating with people and leading #5for5BrainDump and I even have a schedule and some pay-to-play programs scheduled which people are interested in taking with me.

I’ve been writing for about ten minutes now. Haven’t edited but my timer went off and I kept going. I know it is best if I stop and come back so I think I will do that, after I re-read and come up with some “moral to this story.”

I’ll just wrap back around to where I started.

I realized today I need to stop looking back at that ten-years-ago story. It is a chapter, it isn’t the whole story. What I am doing now is finally getting up, finally shaking the mud off my face and realizing the mud has kept me safe to a certain extent.

I could talk about my cancer or other such chatter and I won’t, except for what I just said.

Now, and the actions I take in it, are what matters. Being charming, silly, passionate, pull-out-the-soapbox-whenever-the-right-mood-strikes-me JJS is what matters.

Some people will think this writing is self- indulgent and silly. I believe it is helpful to whomever has read to the end. It isn’t for me to judge, it is just for me to hit publish. Which I’m doing now.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world. She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives.

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Check out the links below to follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.

Secret Hint to Making The Most from Your Brain Dump Experience

August 28, 2017 by jjscreativelifemidwife Leave a Comment

Two memorable conversations keep popping into my head as I begin to write:

Never go to bed angry.
Love means never having to say you’re sorry.

I don’t know that I whole heartedly agree (or disagree, actually) with either of them.

I agree, it is better for our overall feelings of positivity and gratitude if we fall asleep in a state of contented curiosity rather than angry lament, but sometimes the energy of anger clears out a lot of gunk – or is that just our habitual way of experiencing the world?

I could talk (write) myself into a corner with this one and perhaps that is part of the point my subconscious and writing practice is making here.

We make it a practice to complete our brain dumps and free flow writing with thirty seconds of gratitude and praise about anything: what you may have discovered and uncovered during writing or anything at all. The point is to finish the writing practice on an emotional upswing.

If we always ended our writing practice feeling like garbage most of us would give up our writing practice. It is natural to want to feel better.

We don’t want to feel like crap, we inherently want to feel well or at least better than when we sat down to write.

Maybe part of your gratitude IS saying you are sorry.

Love and forgiveness go hand-in-hand as do love and gratitude.

Admitting our weaknesses – is a pathway to wholeness and gratitude.

(And the timer tells me five minutes is up – so this concludes today’s entry about one of my favorite secrets to always ending on an upbeat note, thus preserving the practice that is such a grand, sustaining partner in my life.)

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.

Tales of a Gratitude Convert: How Writing A Love Letter to My Eyeglasses Caused a HUGE shift

August 7, 2017 by jjscreativelifemidwife 1 Comment

There was a time when I would describe myself as a “Gratitude Convert”. I had been wayyyy over the top cynical about what I called the whole “phoneys with their attitude of gratitude nonsense!” yet several years ago all that shifted.

I am now a proponent of gratitude from the first hand knowledge of its power in my life. Period.

My practice isn’t what it used to be, though. I can’t even explain why. Yesterday and today, I “got” gratitude even more deeply, even as a long time gratitude practitioner. I am thinking I will Re-Start my practice by doing exactly what I did yesterday. Read on to see what I mean:

I read a prompt yesterday when I was in a moment of “I want to write but I just don’t feel inspired by anything!” and voila, my purple eyeglasses caught my attention. I wrote for sixty seconds. I didn’t come up with anything particularly brilliant, but it – and they – helped me to see into gratitude a bit more deeply.

You know, feeling meaningful gratitude for those every day, mundane items in our lives that we would function less well if we didn’t have them.

I decided to pull the prompt out and write a thank you/love letter to my eyeglasses. Before you read my love letter, find something of yours that is right there, within an arm length. Set it beside or in front of you as you read my love letter.

If you want to feel even more deeply, read my love letter aloud.

Beloved Eyeglasses,

You tirelessly sit on the bridge of my nose, asking for nothing but the occasional cleaning. You help me to see things I could not see without you. Even now, as I get more mature and take you off and leave you places carelessly, you don’t complain.

You never get up and leave me. It is I who consistently leave you.

I feel your generous smile when I put you back up there, straddling my nose, aligning with my ears, fulfilling your sole purpose: to help me see.

Oh, beloved Italian purple eyeglasses, Katherine keeps telling me to get a new pair, that you don’t work as well as you once did for me, that I shouldn’t have to take you off all the time but… I can’t bring myself to switch to a different pair.

Sure, there have been others. My first pair fell into the Delaware River when I was canoeing after my mother warned me, “Don’t go canoeing with your glasses on!” and

then, there was the time when we sat at the optometrist and I, in a brief moment of prepubescent rebellion told my Mom to just shut up about my going to camp by myself and how brave it was – “Shut up with your praise, Mom!”

You must understand, Purple pair of eyeglasses, this was the back-then equivalent of saying “the “F” word you, Mom…” My glasses have all made me feel braver, I suppose, because with you, I can see.

Without you, everything is blurry.

I remember one spiritual friend of mine insisting glasses are not a real need, that I could use my mind as a visual corrector instead.

I didn’t argue as I don’t usually. I nodded and listened and knew when I have you in my life, my life is simply better.

Oh, beloved purple eyeglasses.

It took this moment for me to see what is right here, in front of my face.

I love you dearly.

Thank you.

Your now even more grateful owner,

Julie

My eyeglasses are my friend, nearly lifelong friend. Eyeglasses have been a part of my profile since I was in sixth grade and could no longer see the chalk board. I didn’t always wear the same purple pair, but I have always had some always-ready-to-serve eyeglasses close at hand.

I had brief flings with contact lenses and these days, I use them differently, but oh, my glasses. How I love and appreciate the work you do for me.

Writing this love letter meant so much more than just adding them to a list of gratitudes. I love my gratitude lists and may write them again in the future. For now, I am going to write gratitude love letters to all those mundane, overlooked, underappreciated aspects of my life I normally don’t even notice.

Maybe you’ll even feel compelled to write gratitude love letters along with me.

Try it out. Start with 5 minutes of love for something ordinary.

If you post something – an instagram post, a blog post, anything – please send a link my way. Maybe I’ll end up writing a love letter to YOUR love letter.

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Check out the links below to follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.

This Exact Gratitude: Origin Unknown – Result? Remarkable

July 24, 2017 by jjscreativelifemidwife Leave a Comment

The date of this exact gratitude list that gave birth to this (nearly over) mini-retreat/soulful social media quiet time is unclear. I remember sitting in my car, scribbling the list it – but exactitude? It won’t matter in the long run. It doesn’t even matter now, a week or so later.

I wrote:

I am grateful for the ability to communicate.

I am grateful for the beauty of words.

I am grateful for the people who read the words I toss, cry and mindfully set down upon blue lined paper.

I am grateful for whatever it is I manage to create today (because I know I will. Eventually anyway.)

I am grateful to know I will not judge quantity or quality or relevance of the words and objects I create today.

I am grateful I am able to move my pen across the page. I am grateful words fall off the tip so effortlessly.

I am grateful there are papers to catch the words I write in cursive (and it looks pretty!) I’m grateful for pencil sharpeners.

I am grateful for crape myrtle trees and finches and mourning doves.

I am grateful for enthusiastic young people (I sound like an old farm-hand) who just got promoted who still have a vision for their lives that includes accepting whatever happens with grace and building upon those circumstances, whichever, with grace.

Today I am grateful for the years I have been writing and sharing consistently. That “old stuff” is so current, so accessible and ready.

It created the plan and execution of that plan. Edit to evolve and the mighty, beneficent yes shines through.

My mission is to daily “gather our word-love community to collaborate and create a ritual, path, method to save/preserve/curate and continue to breathe heart into our collective life work.”

Daily, recognize and claim my place as a singular and sacred expression of life itself and a gift from the divine to the world – meant for taking action with passionate gratitude to join the flow because I know this world is a place of healing, wonder and wholeness where all know each one is welcome.

= = =

Since I re-visited this time of creative process last Wednesday, I have repeated these declarations and oh, have they ever helped me not only in my daily direction, but also in casting my future and present vision.

This exact gratitude list may have unknown origins, but the continued growth and rebirth as a result of gratitude is blanketing my life. It is grounding me and lifting me toward heaven.

It’s been a while since I felt like this.

Today I am remembering and standing on this strength to continue as I declare daily: I recognize and claim my place as a singular, unique and sacred expression of life itself and a gift from the divine to the world – meant for taking action with passionate gratitude to join the flow because I know this world is a place of healing, wonder and wholeness where all know each one is welcome.

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

Check out the links above to follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.