Creative Life Midwife

Inspiring Artistic Rebirth

How to Build Your Castle (and Live Your Truth)

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Build Your Castle. Live Your Truth! A sky at sunset with clouds in the air echo sentiments from Henry David Thoreau. This title graphic also suggests a fun introduction of living with vision through knowing your beliefs and gracefully taking aligned action as a result.

This week I am doing something radical, or at least feels radical.

I am taking a week off to regroup: to rekindle my love affair with the work I do (creative life coaching, facilitating groups on topics ranging from soul development to writing masterminds to social media how-to’s, speaking and writing). As I habitually do, I rose to the occasion when the pandemic came and people needed support – and I had what was needed – a zoom room, creative thinking and a deep desire to make a difference.

I created context and off we ran, meeting seven days a week at first. Then six days a week.

I was running out of sizzle and self-care so with my son’s return from college a perfect segue, I opted out of work-related activity for this week so that I may put my vision in place, like Henry David Thoreau said, “If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.”

This week is about building the foundations for my castles.

I suppose things don’t “officially” kick off until tomorrow, but I have been deep cleaning, setting up systems and digging deep into my memories as I write, reflect, write and reflect. Tonight I am on laundry detail. I have been using my timer to keep track of “clean now, create next. Create now, clean next” and so far, I am seeing results.

My personal dreams have been on-hold for a long time. For me the quarantine and stay-at-home orders didn’t feel all that unfamiliar: I was used to not being able to do what I want to do. I would do whatever it took for my children to collect successes while I cheered them on, but my place was to step aside making sacrifices and rearranging my plans repeatedly.

Even though we are still staying-in-place, my heart is flying even now because I have gained so much clarity about what my gifts are, what my beliefs are and what my fears, blocks and barriers are that I am more excited than a child awaiting her birthday might feel.

The life shifting conversations started last week and became this video:

What “name” would you like to claim for yourself, like I claimed philanthropist and visionary and others proclaimed oracle, artist, creative and more?

What do you need to believe about yourself in order to fulfill on proclaiming that truth about yourself, loud and proud and sure… and how will you act in alignment with your truth and beliefs?

These are not small questions to answer, so please take your time – and if you would like to talk to me more about these subjects (or others) please don’t hesitate to send me an email or text or call me.

This graphic shares contact information in order to discuss the questions asked in the video and in the article itself. To call or text it is 661.444.2735. EMail is juliejordanscott@gmail.com

Julie JordanScott has been writing since before she was literate by dictating her thoughts to her mother and then copying in thick crayons onto construction paper. She was a pioneer in epublishing and continues to reach readers through her blog, bestselling books, greeting cards and her essays and poems in anthologies. Next week’s theme of Aware of Abundance #5for5BrainDump program will focus on using writing as meditation to focus and release blocks or an upcoming writing circle or writing for social media programs.

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Revisit Your Opinions: Is Your Shadow the Enemy?

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A view of the beach at sunset time frames the quote "There is no light without shadow. Light without shadow, just as there is no happiness without pain." from Isabelle Allende. This begins the article about writing as meditation.

Before you begin to exhale your knowledge about different teacher’s concepts of “The Shadow” or “Shadow Sides” or anything with Shadow in its title that a wise person once said, remember back to childhood.

barefoot child at play in the playground, enjoying his shadow. Children don't see the shadow as a bad thing, but as a good thing.

Remember the wonder of your shadow. I remember my son laughing in delight on the playground, watching his shadow follow his silent command. Where his feet went, his shadow feet went.

This weekend I took a photo and I realized my shadow had the capacity of being a character in the photo that gave it an entirely deeper meaning as object being witnessed.

What would happen if you chose to return to pure enjoyment, without your intellect rushing in to explain?

What if you simply took time to enjoy your shadow?

One of the voice in my head hangovers I have heard since perhaps the moment I was conceived is “Whatever you do, don’t get “it” wrong.” It could be whatever I hold the dearest in that particular moment.

“Don’t fail” and “don’t fail’s” sibling ‘don’t try because if you try and fail…..’ and…. what?

I solved this conundrum in adulthood by holding a tiny bird in the center of my palm saying “There is no right, there is no wrong, there is simply ______” Most of the time I say writing.

I could put almost anything as that final word.

“You can’t get this wrong,” I remember telling my friend Josh when we were cooking dinner together. “It is impossible. With this, there are no wrongs, there are only different version of right.”

Samuel is still angry with me about what ‘could have been’ if I had been braver and allowed him to possibly experience failure.

He is possibly and perhaps probably right and perhaps probably wrong and we will never know.

I recently asked myself, “Would you do it over again?” and I said, “Yes, I would do it over again braver, taking more risks and not allowing fear to overshadow the light within me.”

In fact, I wish I could.

I wish I could get taken up into a science fiction life, step into a different dimension and come out with a who-knows-how different ending.

What I can do today, even without the science fiction ending, is to change my responses that might have swung into fears and whispered long-standing warning shouts of “don’t get it wrong!” today and tomorrow and tomorrow’s tomorrow?

Take some time to create from this question. Don’t rush or push or make it into “I have to do this,” write to it because it feels good to do so.

This writing was borne from Meditation Month of Blending Poetry and Meditation. I meditated on the quote in the graphic from Ursula Le Guin’s poem “Leaves” and this morning, 24 hours later, wrote this brief essay in one “writing as a meditation” swoop.

The poem "Leaves" by Ursula K. Le Guin shares this line, "Might as well say I am the shadow," which I used to center my meditative practice yesterday. The tree is the mulberry in my front yard, where I livestreamed on Instagram Live and Periscope.

Julie JordanScott has been writing since before she was literate by dictating her thoughts to her mother and then copying in thick crayons onto construction paper. She was a pioneer in epublishing and continues to reach readers through her blog, bestselling books, greeting cards and her essays and poems in anthologies. Join her for #5for5BrainDump beginning May 11 – to experience meditative writing in an online setting. She also hosts or writing circles and a writing for social media program.

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How to Write About Your Life in 5 Easy, Meditative Steps –

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May is National Meditation Month: We will be blending poetry and meditation to create, make and activate a more mindful, art-filled life.

To read the complete poem on the Poetry Foundation Website, please visit here.

In May we are blending poetry & meditation to create, make and live a more mindful, art-filled life. I will be sharing my writings that blossom from the meditations as well as videos, images and other helpful tools for you along the way. Today, we are sharing free-flow meditative writing followed by 5 Steps to Making Peace through Witnessing Your Life with Writing – and in doing so, we circle back to where we started – with poetry and the words under the words.

Lavender blossoms surround the words "May is National Meditation Month" and here we are blending poetry and meditation to create, make and live a more mindful, art-filled life.

Yesterday afternoon during the #5for5BrainDump which may be used as a meditative writing practice, the words that flowed were these:

The words under my words are… optimistic most of the time. They are like the comic I saw today that my friend shared of the three views of the heart: the optimist a big red perfectly Hallmark heart, a dramatic broken heart to proclaim the pessimist and an image most like a human biological heart for the realist. I most often refer to my words as optimistic realism but they don’t feel like that right now, when I allow the space to roam about my chest and up and out my throat.

The words under my words are are battling for control. My words under my words are slightly scratchy, that annoying base of the throat tickle – feel like I might be getting sick but because I know what my nervous cough sound like, I recognize this. I recognize this. They feel like, might they be a virus? Are we still allowed to say that word except for as in “Novel” or “Corona” or “Covid”?

My words above, below and beneath my words at eye level feel crusty and stale, grumpy and stagnant. They’re old and scabbed and calcified. Tainted and negative and not good. Not good.

This morning, before I turn to another daily poem, I revisted yesterday’s words and add – The words under my words are just right as they are – crusty and stagnant and stinky are equally rich and valuable as the flowing and soft gentle breeze on a hill wearing a gorgeous white lace dress with perfect hair.

Today and my words in it will be – as I allow them to be.

It is when I don’t allow them to be and me to be and you to be and the emotions that pop to be that my shoulders become like earrings and my gut becomes a roller coaster.

I trust my words, today, and I trust the leaning tower of ancient historical words to be more of a cradle that gently rocks me than a car spiraling out of control on a roller coaster. The word-cradle is in my breath and my heartbeat, my pulse and my womb, my brokenness and my sometimes polished exterior.

No need to battle and pretend there is such a thing as control.

Your words – under your words – spend time holding them close, with love and grace. Hold space for joy amidst the not-so-joyful and the belly laughter amidst the tears of sadness.

Now: A simple 5 step process for you to witness your life in words – all of your life – from a meditative, mindful frame of mind.

Day 1: a vase of irises shares how the words under words will be made more peaceful when we make peace through witnessing "what is" , blending poetry and meditation to create, make and live a more mindful, art-filled life.

We write from a place of peace: we don’t judge the writing as it falls off the tip of our pens or fingers on the keyboard or fingers on our screens. We allow the words to fall as they will without editing, judgment or forethought.

We are witnesses, not judges. We hold space for ourselves to enjoy the process regardless of what story our words are telling.

Step One has the irises in a vase and advises us to use clear, descriptive, sense based words. These words may be colors, flavors and other objective details rather than words like "amazing" or "nice" or "pleasant".

Write what you experience, not what your opinion is about what you experience. Instead of “It was good” or “I think it is pretty” write “The bright purple irises fill the glass vase with the twine tied in a bow.” “There was a hint of vanilla in the chocolate chip cookies” or “He was over six feet tall, which made my five foot four inch frame feel tiny.” Yes, there is some opinion in that final sentence, but see how it is supported in fact?

There is a beautiful shade of green, slightly mottled with purple on the other side of the vase of irises. Step 2 is "Write in snapshots or moments in time rather than large periods of time all at once. When you write in snapshots you capture the core of your story, of the "what happened."

You can practice this by taking actual photos of your life as it happens or looking at a photo from the past and writing about what was happening when the photo was taken. Immerse yourself back in that moment of with rich, sensory details. Once you master this, your writing will become increasingly magnetic and at the same time, connect you to your readers more and more deeply no matter what you are writing.

At the center of all good writing is a daily (or close to daily) writing practice. One way to stay in the witness is to make a list of what happened the day before during your writing practice time. When we do so, our subconscious mind will begin cataloguing details and your writing choices will become richer.

People often resist the idea of writing practice. It sounds like too much or a chore or something inherently unpleasant or without a purpose. When one tries and sustains this, it becomes deeply pleasurable and life changing in the most positive direction one might suspect. Try it for a small amount of time at first and see how it works. Experiment with different times of day and different methods of “containment” – I write in notebooks and other times on my phone and with my computer keyboard. Allow yourself to try different means and methods.

Step 4 invites us to lovingly lower our expectations. Rejoice in the perfectly imperfect and live outside the judgment zone when we are witnesses to our life.

Recognize what you write will not be perfect – part of the practice is to welcome the imperfect, the grammatical mistakes and the misspellings. Sometimes these are the most valuable parts of the growth experience. Enjoy the process for the sake of the process. Document the facts, not what you think of the facts. Begin to appreciate the imperfections with as much love and joy as the “perfections.”

Final Step: Revisit your daily (or whenever close to daily) free flow, meditative style writing once a week to glean life patterns, creative patterns and celebrate your growing awareness of witness.

Revisiting your writing is a deep pleasure as well as a method to note your progress. I can return to notebooks years later and wonder who this person was – while delighting in her moment-by-moment delight and discovery. Sometimes I long for her presence or find I have wandered off course and the past-me from my writing notebooks reminds me. The witnessing me of the past reaches out to the witnessing me of the future.

This is miraculous, just like you are miraculous.

You may follow along here on the blog as well as via social media. There will be different daily versions on different social media platforms. I suggest starting here on the blog and on Instagram for Instagram Live and IGTV episodes. You may see Facebook Live for 5 for 5 Brain Dump sessions at Writing Camp with JJS which may be accessed here.

Woman writing on the front porch of a brick home,
Write wherever you find yourself.

Julie JordanScott has been writing since before she was literate by dictating her thoughts to her mother and then copying in thick crayons onto construction paper. She was a pioneer in epublishing and continues to reach readers through her blog, bestselling books, greeting cards and her essays and poems in anthologies. Join her for one of her upcoming #5for5BrainDump programs or an upcoming writing circle or writing for social media programs.

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How Seeing the Everyday, Ordinary Stuff That Surrounds You Differently Suddenly Become Magical

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One of the earliest exercises I created for people in my writing programs is to pick up an ordinary object in their space and take a mere sixty seconds to experience it and describe the object. Once the object is noted, we check in regarding the experience.

pink balls of yarn are the basis for this quote from "Let Evening Come" by Jane Kenyon. "Let the cricket take up chafing as a woman takes up her needles and her yarn. Let evening come." This is Inspiration for National Poetry Month (and beyond) from Creative Life Midwife Julie Jordan Scott

Ordinary objects like waste baskets and water bottles come alive with close inspection. When a person takes time to notice differently, the associations, the appreciations and gratitude rises up oftentimes in surprising ways.

To read the poem “Let Evening Come” by Jane Kenyon, click the link here to read it in its entirety.

To “let evening come” (or morning or midafternoon) in your own life, take a moment now to do follow the prompt and see what words flow as a result.

Pink yarn balls are above the writing in this image, encouraging people to write of this: "Write what you notice around your home, your yard, your street. Allow the ordinariness of objects and events in your ordinary life stir your words. Don't describe these objects and experiences as you always have. Let the overlooked details surprise you." by the Creative Life Midwife Julie JordanScott

To rephrase the prompt “Write what you notice around your home, your yard, your street. Allow the ordinariness of objects and events in your ordinary life stir your words. Don’t describe these objects and experiences as you always have. Let the overlooked details surprise you.

Take 5 minutes at a time and write, just write. Allow your pencil or pen or fingers on the keyboard float across your page.

In the comments, share one or two or three ordinary objects you might enjoy getting to know more clearly. Even this one simple action will enrich and deepen your appreciation for the everyday right now.

Julie JordanScott creates content to inspire creative people to lead more satisfying lives even during this pandemic. Walking and sitting at the Panorama Bluffs helps her feel centered.

Julie JordanScott has been writing since before she was literate by dictating her thoughts to her mother and then copying in thick crayons onto construction paper. She was a pioneer in epublishing and continues to reach readers through her blog, best selling books, greeting cards and her essays and poems in anthologies. Join her for one of her upcoming #5for5BrainDump programs or an upcoming writing circle or writing for social media programs.

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Nothing and Everything is Just Right….

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There is nothing perfect about this picture.

I am wearing lipstick, but no mascara or other attempts at beautification. I hadn’t even bothered to take a brush to my hair.

If you look more closely you will see there is everything perfect about this picture.

I am smiling, even though I am not wearing mascara, even though I haven’t taken a brush to my hair, even though I am slightly ashamed of the reality that in my privilege I was upset about going three days without a longed for chocolate croissant when people are lining up for sustenance and rightfully worrying about being evicted or mourning for losses that are incomprehensible to me.

Right now I am doing the best I can to trust myself to continue to do what I can to enhance the world in my little corner of it. I am hosting conversation circles, for one. I am posting honest and upbeat content to engage and evoke constructive curiosity in myself and others.

My porch is as close to the front lines as I get right now.

My porch is the front line right now.

There is everything perfect about this picture.

Now it is your turn to consider what is right in your life right now.

Prompt for Contemplation, Conversation & Creativity:

A blue sky holds this prompt for conversation, contemplation and creativity. "What is right with your life right now?" A pathway toward water invites you to look more deeply at the question and the prompt... "What is right in my life now is...."

Use this question to prompt contemplation, journaling, a blog post, a conversation, a poem or start a work of art in a new or renewed direction.

Please write in the comments your first response to the prompt.

Julie JordanScott typing a love poem on the edge of a foothill of the Sierra Nevada Mountains.

Julie JordanScott is the Creative Life Midwife. She inspires people to live their life as an artform and take action towards their best results. During the 2020 Pandemic she is also leading daily Virtual Coffee Dates, Facilitating Intentional Conversation so people will feel less isolated during this time of social and physical distancing. Join the conversation by registering for free by clicking this link.

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How Will You Look Back at “Times Like These?”

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There are a lot of people who are writing poetry during National Poetry Month. This is something I do – and while I am not keeping up with producing a poem a day – it is more like a torrent of poems every few days – my reading of poetry is what is fueling me quite intensely as of late.

A tree listens in the image as does the quote from Adrienne Rich says, "Because in times like these to have you listen at all, it's necessary to talk about trees." Who is listening to you with sacred, heart opened ears?

In bringing you into my poetry sanctuary – in quarantine times especially I feel more than a bit vulnerable. Speaking that aloud first makes me feel slightly more open to share with you this unfurling process this week as you may choose to step into it, too, to gain an understanding of both yourself, your loved ones and your world.

So far this morning I livestreamed Adrienne Rich’s poem, “What Kind of Times are These” twice, on Instagram and Periscope. Each time I read this poem aloud more turns of phrase and meaning slowly or not-so-slowly rise up to greet me.

Now, it is time to consider how the words of Adrienne Rich and the prompts I am providing may rise up to greet you in your creativity, in your contemplation and in your conversations.

Consider:

Where is your sacred space to listen and to be heard?

Where is your sacred space to listen during this time of quarantine?

Who are the people who will listen to you from their own place of sacred listening?

You may contemplate these questions, discuss them with your friends or on the pages of your notebook or journal. You may also watch the replay of the livestream video on twitter:

Now, a writing prompt to take on your way, without concern for what poet Adrienne Rich had to say or not.

Consider and then reflectively write, free flowing style – to the prompt –

What kind of times are these? and/or

These are the times when…..

If you are not in the space to write, have a conversation with a friend or spend some time in contemplation.

In the future, these time will be a memory you will be asked to remember and talk about with others. These are the times you may still shape these next few weeks.

What will you do to shape these times with hope, light and inspiration?

Woman writing on the front porch of a brick home,
Write wherever you find yourself.

Julie JordanScott is the Creative Life Midwife. She inspires people to live their life as an artform and take action towards their best results. During the 2020 Pandemic she is also leading daily Virtual Coffee Dates, Facilitating Intentional Conversation so people will feel less isolated during this time of social and physical distancing. Join the conversation by registering for free by clicking this link.

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Word Lovers, Unite!

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Julie JordanScott, the Creative Life Midwife, is in her Bakersfield, California living room wishing you word-love. She invites you to participate in this week of creative writing and joy. A full book shelf is behind her and she holds a notebook in her hands.

Word-love! Two words I blended together a few years ago to express how much I love words, love their sounds, their meanings and the deep connection they create between us and among us. I write prose, most often non-fiction essays and how-to’s along with the occasional advice. I have written plays and less often I write fiction.

Many people know me as a writing teacher and a writing coach.

Julie JordanScott writing poetry at a downtown Bakersfield flower shop.

One of my favorite and most active form of writing is poetry.

I am a poet who loves to surround herself in poetry.

April is National Poetry Month.  As I often do, I find new ways to share poetry. This year I am livestreaming poetry almost daily via periscope and more often than not on Instagram Live. Usually the poems are picked in the moment as my time to broadcast arrives and I grab a poetry collection and turn to a page and read.

I have found some incredible rich poems this way from poets known and unknown to me that somehow seem to blend into an array of words that addresses exactly with what we are going through.

Yesterday I visited the Poetry Foundation website and found six different poems for next week. I decided I wanted to highlight the online home of Poetry Magazine, where people may read every single issue published since its founding in 1912.

This is poetry abundance at its best, isn’t it?

Again, the poems selected were a mix of synchronistic finds and others very intentional. Elizabeth Bishop’s “One Art” was a definite yes. I tried to pick a poem that refused to be copied so I went deeper and discovered a new-to-me poets, Emily Jungmin Yoon and Joanne Klink.

This week in my blog I will take a line from each poem I share that day and write an essay from it. I will post prompts for you to use to write, make or share in creative conversations with your friends or family or with yourself in your journal.

A pink circle surrounded by starts contains the words of Emily Dickinson, "The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience."

My hope is you may fall in love or deeper in love with words. If you have not been a poetry fan, maybe you will open yourself to the beauty and love of poetry – it isn’t something to be misunderstood or understood like one of your teachers might have told you.

It is something to be loved, to be enjoyed, to be experienced like a fine glass of wine or a sunset or a long remembered and cherished birthday party.

Whether or not you visit here in the coming week, I invite you to experience this coming week as a time of joy, regardless of what is swirling around you.

A notebook on a table with an art journal with a variety of small paper works of art. One is a queenly figure, another is a triangle with a square that reads, "You are essential joy" from a poem by Hildegard de Bingen

As Hildegard de Bingen told us in a poem hundreds of years ago, “You are essential joy.” It is our choice to live those words even when we may not feel them initially.

Thank you for reading.

Julie JordanScott creates content to inspire creative people to lead more satisfying lives even during this pandemic. Walking and sitting at the Panorama Bluffs helps her feel centered.

Julie JordanScott is the Creative Life Midwife. She inspires people to live their life as an artform and take action towards their best results. During the 2020 Pandemic she is also leading daily Virtual Coffee Dates, Facilitating Intentional Conversation so people will feel less isolated during this time of social and physical distancing. Join the conversation by registering for free by clicking this link.

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Feelings: Over Around and Upside Down Getting Through the Covid19 Pandemic

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Weekends for me tend to be busier than weekdays and during these days of quarantine, it is not different. I stay where I am and I have the meetings I would have had out and about. I leave my home to write haiku and I come home and I have more meetings.

Earlier today I was so tired I really wanted to opt out of my later-in-the-day meeting but I didn’t. I was actually energized afterwards. Yay me for showing up anyway?

I did some decluttering and purposeful television watching (Little Fires Everywhere) and now, I give myself the gift of a touch of writing before I either make a video or do some decluttering or both.

I look back up and see the graphic I made earlier in the week,a quote. “A word after a word after a word is power,” and I think “She’s right. Margaret Atwood is right.”

What I was feeling before I sat down to write was anger.

I saw a writing prompt and it made me mad.

But I pushed that mad away and pretended it hadn’t existed and allowed the distraction to take center court and then again, “A word after a word after a word is power” so here I am.

I am angry. This unknown is stretching out in front of us with no end in sight is starting to get on my nerves. I can pretend it doesn’t bother me and get all into spiritual mode, but I am afraid to go into grocery stores and I am out of cranberry juice and that makes me feel angry, which highlights my privilege and makes me feel ashamed for getting upset about something like not having cranberry juice when lives are being lost.

Someone is texting me as I write and my phone buzzes. I more than likely don’t want to talk to them (or text with them.) Right now I would like chocolate. I am angry that my default is still chocolate. I am angry I have had a chocolate addiction for almost my entire.

My spiritual better half is whispering in my ear to practice self-forgiveness but my mad as hell and I’m not taking it anymore side is escalating. Clackety clackety clackety up the roller coaster mountain my anger goes…no relief in sight. No relief in sight.

I put my head against the back of the chair and watched videos of my trip to the river this morning. I allowed myself to feel whatever was gurgling up. I stopped feeling angry and remembered I am in control of what I do with my anger.

There may not be the relief I would like to have and there is relief in knowing I have tools like writing, meditation, daily virtual Coffee Date Conversations, music, 27 fling boogies, art journaling, all of it will get me closer to feeling better even if these circumstances continue longer than I might want or like.

“A Word after a word after a word is power,” says Margaret Atwood.

My words, “I have the ability to process. I gain strength daily. I have the resources I need to get through this just like I’ve gotten through many other setbacks along the way.”

Grace flows because my heart knows – a word after a word after a word is power.

AFFIRMATION TO USE:

“Grace flows because my heart knows “A word after a word after a word is power.”

Writing prompt:

Right now I feel…… (write without editing or judgement. End your writing with 5 gratitudes and the affirmation, “Grace flows because my heart knows – a word after a word after a word is power.”

Women holding mugs of coffee, tea, mocha to represent a "virtual coffee date" held virtually during the 2020 pandemic.
Join us for our Virtual Coffee Date on Zoom, every day at 1:30 PDT. Click this link to register for free. Yes, even on weekends!

Julie JordanScott is the Creative Life Midwife. She inspires people to live their life as an artform and then take action towards their best results. Her specialty is writing – her easiest way to express what she does is this: She Coaches. You Write. Your Readers Win! During the 2020 Pandemic she is also leading daily Virtual Coffee Dates, Facilitating Intentional Conversation so people will feel less isolated during this time of social and physical distancing.

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One Step at a Time: Open the Door, Find the Light

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This morning I attempted to write an inspirational essay prompted by Emily Dickinson’s quote about the soul standing ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience.

Normally this fits my passionate process quite well and I am able to flip a less constructive mood quickly. This morning, my sour mood wasn’t going anywhere.  I sat in my writing corner digesting the previous night’s emotional turmoil which had turned into an emotional hangover larger than my usual.

I am a tender soul. A tender human. I am sensitive and I seem to fall down and skin my spirit like as a child I skinned my knees when I tripped and fell and skid across the playground,

Emily Dickinson's ecstatic soul ajar lesson isn't always immediately accurate

I vacillate between “can’t wait for the next thing I’m doing it is the be-all-end-all and I am being magnetized toward it…” and then something happens and my face is close to the pavement, again.

Last night when my emotional skid happened it was after my son sent me a scathing text: a long one, based on one of his ongoing gripes with me about something that happened years ago.

He doesn’t tap dance around my history of fear in regards to his life. He goes for the jugular, knowing or unknowing the guilt I haven’t effectively let go yet. My response to his anger is to stand there and take it.

When he was a little boy and couldn’t put his frustration into words, I would stand still when he pummeled me with his fists. I have never forbid him to channel his anger, though now I think a boundary is overdue.

I responded to his text with something like this, like I have said and texted many times in the past:

“I did what I thought was best. I let fear guide me too many times. You are right, I could have chosen differently.”

I am wondering how much he wants to hear about his autism diagnosis and why what happened early in his educational experience caused a wall to be built between me and many educrats, teachers and administrators.

His anger at me isn’t about the totality of me, it is about how I interfered in helping him pursue his vision and continues to impact him now.

What I noted today that I hadn’t ever before is how much this guilt I continue to harbor also builds walls against my creative process. It burrows into my softness, my tender heart, my sensitive soul and I end up pushing away the keyboard.

Yes, I was almost always afraid for my son. He went through hell when he was little and then when he was not so little and even in the months before he graduated we had yet another crisis to navigate.

Sylvia Plath wrote, “It is the hate, the paralyzing fear, that gets in my way and stops me.” In Plath’s case it stopped her from writing the short literary fiction she longed to write at the time and for me, my work flow dries up. I spent much of the day in silence, not even reading or jotting notes.

I went to Toastmasters and gave a quality evaluation and then was worthless until about ninety-minutes ago.

Writing Prompt related to Emily Dickinson's quote that invites personal reflection before ecstacy.

Like my son, after taking time to process – I felt better.

Sometimes when the soul is ajar, it doesn’t go fast forward into ecstasy, as Emily Dickinson suggests. I like to think she knew her fair share of waiting for ecstasy with a side of bits of grief and struggle and “not quite ready” yet moments.

Emily Dickinson quote image with stars and a circle, "The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience."
Portrait of Julie Jordan Scott, Creativity Coach and Creative Life Midwife

This post is a part of the Women’s History Month Writing Quotes & Prompts series from Julie JordanScott, the Creative Life Midwife, and her Word-Love Writing Community you may join for free on Facebook. During March, there will be daily discussions on the quotes and prompts we present here, too. Join the conversation and improve your writing at the same time!

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What Joy Will You Share Today? Prompts & Inspiration for Your Journey

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Writing prompts, or prompts for creative reflection, make a big difference for people.,. These are about describing joyful moments. Try one!

This Anne Sexton quote reminds me of the gratitude quotes I cherish, the wise quotes which serve as reminders of how important it is to share what we are grateful for… which is something I think I mostly have down.

Mostly.

Gratitude and joy have the same “positive” root, yes, and I see gratitude as a state of being that is quiet and reflective – in my mind’s eye and my heart’s embrace I feel my friend Maria’s energy. Joy, on the other hand – is more like character in the movie, “Inside/Out”

Writing prompts may be used for creativity, converstion or contemplation. Describing joyful moments helps us remember and create new ones, for example.

Joy is a bit rambunctious and loud, definitely a physically energetic jubilant sort of space. JOY is me when I jump up and down and clap my hands because I do, actually, jump up and down and clap my hands.

It is not something I plan to do, it is something I do spontaneously.

What is your perspective?

PROMPT: Write for 5 minutes about a recent joyful moment.

Write for 5 minutes about a long ago joyful moment.

Write for 5 minutes about a future joyful moment –

Woman with brown hair and glasses sitting in a park, enjoying the blue sky and trees before she gives an inspiring talk.

This post is a part of the Women’s History Month Writing Quotes & Prompts series from Julie JordanScott, the Creative Life Midwife, and her Word-Love Writing Community you may join for free on Facebook. During March, there will be daily discussions on the quotes and prompts we present here, too. Join the conversation and improve your writing at the same time!

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