Creative Life Midwife

Inspiring Artistic Rebirth

Discover More than A Title Can Hold: Poetry & Writing Meditation

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Morning writing time: coffee is beside me, a timer is set. All my metaphorical cards are on the table beside a quote, a line of poetry. “It is so near to the heart, an eternal pasture,” from poet, Robert Duncan.

I’ve allotted five minutes to write meditatively so I write. I write free-flow style, not thinking or editing, just allow whatever wants to be heard to be heard without judgment.

The words come from my keyboard and a memory pops up, quite happily and next, a painful memory right on its heels. “What are you thinking, having a good memory? Who do you think you are? You know you aren’t worthy of good memories or happy times or God forbid, nice things! Get off your high horse!”

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Who is running the show here? Is it the smart, funny, woman labeled as brave and capable leader by quite a few people? Is it instead this nasty alternative voice roaming about her head, roping up her truthful, constructive, happy thoughts in attempt to put them in thought quarantine?

My eyes look up and catch a typo. “Heals” in place of “heels” which is precisely what I decided today as I drove home from my daily haiku discovery time.

“That’s it!” I had declared earlier, as I drove home. “I am done with being mean and belittling to myself. It is poison!” Thoughts begin the healing. Actions are the glue which keep the healing together as they begin to build a foundation.

Writing and meditation: Breathe in: you are allowed to be all the goodness and light that is you. Breathe out, More goodness and light for all, please.`

It is so near to the heart, this healing, this lying down and resting time, this peace, this pleasantness, this receiving of grace.

I look up from the keyboard and watch a man walk by my house in a grey and red track suit. It is cold outside today – unusual in Bakersfield at this time of year. I see my sprinkler water, feeding the hungry soil. Another typo – feeding the hungry soul.

Soil and soul, only one letter different.

Today I am being aware of openings, alert to spaces as they speak to me. I am inviting synchronicity and light to tap me on my shoulder or draw me close in a hug, whispering “Look, over here,” as has happened several times today.

I invite you to do the same.

Look at the typos I’ve written as evidence. I wrote heals instead of heels, like high heals on a shoe or heals as in the back of my foot.

I wrote soul as in my interior self versus soil, the place where plants grow.

Truthful, constructive, capable, happy is who I am. God (in whatever name you prefer: nature, love, universe, divinity, creator) is definitely not forbidding me from anything good or right or holy or me being exactly me.

Now – as in the present place I am in, is forever my eternal pasture, near to my heart, when I engage with it like I am this morning.

Does that make sense? Would it be helpful to say more?

Let’s say what I just said, slightly differently.

I invite you to do the same.

Truthful, constructive, capable, happy is who I am. God (in whatever name you prefer: nature, love, universe, divinity, creator) is definitely not forbidding me from anything good or right or holy or me being exactly me, as you are allowed to be all the goodness and light that is you.

You are allowed to be all the goodness and light that is you.

Today's poetry meditation line comes from Robert Duncan's "Often I am Permitted to Return to a Meadow". The line I chose specifically is "It is so near the heart, an eternal pasture." and the view is wildflowers in a pasture, absolutely gorgeous.

I’ll dip back into meditation for a bit – and trust you are choosing not to listen to any nasty, alternative voices and are instead replacing it with the capable, strong, courageous person you know yourself capable of being and becoming, starting here and now.

Coffee cups and flowers with the message "You are invited. Coffee and intentional conversation resumes May 25, 2020. We meet on Zoom at 1:30 PM Pacific time Monday through Saturday in order to keep one another company during this uncertain time and together we build meaningful community."

Before we go – next week I will continue the Monday through Saturday Coffee, Tea & Intentional Conversation Time at 1:30 to 2:30 Pacific time via Zoom. We started when the Sheltering in Place orders started and will continue at least until June 15. You may join us once or as many times as you like. For more information and to register (this is how you get the log in details) visit here. There is no charge, though you will receive emails from me.

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“I wake to listen” – How to Use Poetry to Meditate (Even if you don’t think you’re “good” at either)

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In May, we are blending poetry and meditation to create, make and activate a more mindful, art-rich life. Welcome to that experience.

May is National Meditation Month. Field of Lavender and purple reflect the poetic nature of meditation we are using here in May. Welcome back or welcome for the first time!

Many of you have said, “Meditation and poetry – I am not good at either. And you use writing as meditation? Forget it. I can’t”

Stick around for a couple days so we may wash out those thoughts. 

Here’s how this process goes for me – I invite you to try it this way and feel welcome to make modifications so it may work for you.

Whenever I read Plath, (link to the poem we meditated on today, Morning Song) I hear and feel a hush which may be why this line of her poem attracted me. This poem, “Morning Song” is about mothering a baby. Have you parented a baby?

I remember thinking when I had my son that I couldn’t have a boy. I didn’t know how to mother boys. It took me six weeks to actually agree this relationship as mom-to-boy would work and while it may still be rocky – he is an adolescent now – I know I wouldn’t trade the process for anything.

I invite you to think from your “beginner’s mind” place like I did as a new mom – with an open heart and without leaping inot judgment (like I find myself leaping more times than I would care to admit.) 

Many of you have said, “Meditation and poetry – I am not good at either. And you use writing as meditation? Forget it. I can’t”

Stick around for a couple days so we may wash out those thoughts. 

Here’s how this process goes for me – I invite you to try it this way and feel welcome to make modifications so it may work for you.

a lavender field at sunrise allows us to embrace and accept we may not be good at poetry or meditation now,. we may allow ourselves to come as a complete beginner to both. The sunrise is a metaphor for the new beginnings you may experience when you come from the beginners mindset.

1. First I read the poem to myself several times and choose one line or phrase as a centering line. On my live-streams I ask viewers to choose a line also and direct them to the Poetry Foundation website for the poems I read. All are published there and are easily accessible – which for some people makes it easier to choose a meaningful meditation line.

2. Deep breathe and sit quietly with the poem, sometimes briefly and sometimes – like this time, I meditated before sleep and  as I fell off to sleep. 

3. The next step has differed when I do it, but write for at least 5 minutes, free flow style, stream of consciousness. Sometimes before the live-streams though more often after. Sometimes I write the centering phrase over and over again. What I find it when I trust the process and breathe deeply as I write, other words begin to pop in – you may scoff at this and I invite you to try it.

4. Livestream first on Periscope, often a rougher version – but I enjoy picking up the twitter audience.I will share the livestream from Twitter so you may see it here as well.  I pin the poetry/meditation streams daily with a link to the poem and the graphic (whenever I create it), often afterwards. Livestream second on Instagram  live. Usually a smaller audience but often more engaged in the poem itself. 

5. Sometimes I post here, in my Creative Life Midwife blog – once I even created a second series based on what I wrote during my meditative writing and it blasted more helpful content. Whether or not I post elsewhere, I follow up with discovering the next poem. 

In this case I’ve planned ahead and will next read Kim Adonizzio.

If you have a favorite poem or poet you would like to suggest please do so in the comments. .

.

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Revisit Your Opinions: Is Your Shadow the Enemy?

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A view of the beach at sunset time frames the quote "There is no light without shadow. Light without shadow, just as there is no happiness without pain." from Isabelle Allende. This begins the article about writing as meditation.

Before you begin to exhale your knowledge about different teacher’s concepts of “The Shadow” or “Shadow Sides” or anything with Shadow in its title that a wise person once said, remember back to childhood.

barefoot child at play in the playground, enjoying his shadow. Children don't see the shadow as a bad thing, but as a good thing.

Remember the wonder of your shadow. I remember my son laughing in delight on the playground, watching his shadow follow his silent command. Where his feet went, his shadow feet went.

This weekend I took a photo and I realized my shadow had the capacity of being a character in the photo that gave it an entirely deeper meaning as object being witnessed.

What would happen if you chose to return to pure enjoyment, without your intellect rushing in to explain?

What if you simply took time to enjoy your shadow?

One of the voice in my head hangovers I have heard since perhaps the moment I was conceived is “Whatever you do, don’t get “it” wrong.” It could be whatever I hold the dearest in that particular moment.

“Don’t fail” and “don’t fail’s” sibling ‘don’t try because if you try and fail…..’ and…. what?

I solved this conundrum in adulthood by holding a tiny bird in the center of my palm saying “There is no right, there is no wrong, there is simply ______” Most of the time I say writing.

I could put almost anything as that final word.

“You can’t get this wrong,” I remember telling my friend Josh when we were cooking dinner together. “It is impossible. With this, there are no wrongs, there are only different version of right.”

Samuel is still angry with me about what ‘could have been’ if I had been braver and allowed him to possibly experience failure.

He is possibly and perhaps probably right and perhaps probably wrong and we will never know.

I recently asked myself, “Would you do it over again?” and I said, “Yes, I would do it over again braver, taking more risks and not allowing fear to overshadow the light within me.”

In fact, I wish I could.

I wish I could get taken up into a science fiction life, step into a different dimension and come out with a who-knows-how different ending.

What I can do today, even without the science fiction ending, is to change my responses that might have swung into fears and whispered long-standing warning shouts of “don’t get it wrong!” today and tomorrow and tomorrow’s tomorrow?

Take some time to create from this question. Don’t rush or push or make it into “I have to do this,” write to it because it feels good to do so.

This writing was borne from Meditation Month of Blending Poetry and Meditation. I meditated on the quote in the graphic from Ursula Le Guin’s poem “Leaves” and this morning, 24 hours later, wrote this brief essay in one “writing as a meditation” swoop.

The poem "Leaves" by Ursula K. Le Guin shares this line, "Might as well say I am the shadow," which I used to center my meditative practice yesterday. The tree is the mulberry in my front yard, where I livestreamed on Instagram Live and Periscope.

Julie JordanScott has been writing since before she was literate by dictating her thoughts to her mother and then copying in thick crayons onto construction paper. She was a pioneer in epublishing and continues to reach readers through her blog, bestselling books, greeting cards and her essays and poems in anthologies. Join her for #5for5BrainDump beginning May 11 – to experience meditative writing in an online setting. She also hosts or writing circles and a writing for social media program.

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The Perils of Being a Comma. Or a Dash, an ellipsis, a period.

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What Punctuation Mark are You? Using a line from poetry to step into a deeper level of self discovery through meditative writing and a photo of a woman, writing, on a deck between two mountains. Purple and green.

Once upon a time I had a friend I liked a lot. I told this friend, “I am nothing more to you than an ecru comma.”

What a perilous way to be, an off white comma, a brief stop on the way to something better.

There is nothing worse than to be a comma.

A comma personified.

Ten plus years later, at times I feel like I remain a comma. Is there such a color as faded ecru? Aged ecru? Stained, torn, battered and bleeding ecru?

Let me rephrase that: I do not see myself as anything like that ten-year-plus presumed comma. I have been stained, torn, and scarred. I have bled and I have healed. I have devoted myself to presence and passion and moving forward.

Commas haven’t committed. They aren’t first or last, they are a hesitation.

As I wrote that last sentence, a meadowlark sang after she took a nibble from the mulberry tree in my front yard. Fully committed, she sang in joy and praise. Can a comma be that precise?

A comma isn’t as firm as a dash – that says – wait.

Almost a period, but not quite enough and we stand there almost falling over a comma is steady and filled with air. I imagine it is easily popped.

"Commas on her face --- a breath, a word" is a line from the poem "My Darling Turns to Poetry at Night" by Anthony Lawrence. The image is of letters made of wood or plastic scattered on a board, haphazardly. It is in greyish-toned black and white.

I believe I chose this line “Of commas on her face— a breath, a word … “from the poem “My Darling Turns to Poetry at Night” by Anthony Lawrence, to meditate with today because I know what it is to be lost to poetry when others are around. I probably seem to separate myself into an otherworldly place at times when poetry – my own and others, scoops me up and takes me away.

As an apology for losing myself into whatever non-human experience I was passionate about, I let go of getting lost to those loves and devoted myself instead to human tasks and helps, forgetting that I was worthy of both passions and an assist and a collaborative effort from time to time.

Sometimes it is lovely to be a comma, even an ecru comma.

Now that I think about it, a peaceful smile looks something like a comma.  I will claim that, too.

Perhaps we, we humans, would be better off embracing our loves for what they turn to that isn’t us – as long as it isn’t a wall between us and them. I love poetry and theater and deep soul conversations and the occasional ridiculous television show and that doesn’t mean I want to separate myself from those I hold most dear or darling. Sometimes embracing the comma time as a place to meditate on love itself and on humanity herself would be a better choice than wall building.

In this musing I realize how much meditation is like a comma.

A breath, a word to center, a breath – more words… and then words disappear and there is breath… a comma.

A comma is a part of something bigger than herself. She is an important part of the overall story.

She is a bridge. She is a sign-post. She takes a stand for what she believes to be true.

I am proud to be a comma and more. I am proud to be a stained, shiny, torn, healed, scarred, fierce, frightened, passionately active, ecru and purple comma.

Julie JordanScott creates content to inspire creative people to lead more satisfying lives even during this pandemic. Walking and sitting at the Panorama Bluffs helps her feel centered.

Julie JordanScott has been writing since before she was literate by dictating her thoughts to her mother and then copying in thick crayons onto construction paper. She was a pioneer in epublishing and continues to reach readers through her blog, bestselling books, greeting cards and her essays and poems in anthologies. Join her for one of her upcoming #5for5BrainDump programs or an upcoming writing circle or writing for social media programs.

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How to Write About Your Life in 5 Easy, Meditative Steps –

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May is National Meditation Month: We will be blending poetry and meditation to create, make and activate a more mindful, art-filled life.

To read the complete poem on the Poetry Foundation Website, please visit here.

In May we are blending poetry & meditation to create, make and live a more mindful, art-filled life. I will be sharing my writings that blossom from the meditations as well as videos, images and other helpful tools for you along the way. Today, we are sharing free-flow meditative writing followed by 5 Steps to Making Peace through Witnessing Your Life with Writing – and in doing so, we circle back to where we started – with poetry and the words under the words.

Lavender blossoms surround the words "May is National Meditation Month" and here we are blending poetry and meditation to create, make and live a more mindful, art-filled life.

Yesterday afternoon during the #5for5BrainDump which may be used as a meditative writing practice, the words that flowed were these:

The words under my words are… optimistic most of the time. They are like the comic I saw today that my friend shared of the three views of the heart: the optimist a big red perfectly Hallmark heart, a dramatic broken heart to proclaim the pessimist and an image most like a human biological heart for the realist. I most often refer to my words as optimistic realism but they don’t feel like that right now, when I allow the space to roam about my chest and up and out my throat.

The words under my words are are battling for control. My words under my words are slightly scratchy, that annoying base of the throat tickle – feel like I might be getting sick but because I know what my nervous cough sound like, I recognize this. I recognize this. They feel like, might they be a virus? Are we still allowed to say that word except for as in “Novel” or “Corona” or “Covid”?

My words above, below and beneath my words at eye level feel crusty and stale, grumpy and stagnant. They’re old and scabbed and calcified. Tainted and negative and not good. Not good.

This morning, before I turn to another daily poem, I revisted yesterday’s words and add – The words under my words are just right as they are – crusty and stagnant and stinky are equally rich and valuable as the flowing and soft gentle breeze on a hill wearing a gorgeous white lace dress with perfect hair.

Today and my words in it will be – as I allow them to be.

It is when I don’t allow them to be and me to be and you to be and the emotions that pop to be that my shoulders become like earrings and my gut becomes a roller coaster.

I trust my words, today, and I trust the leaning tower of ancient historical words to be more of a cradle that gently rocks me than a car spiraling out of control on a roller coaster. The word-cradle is in my breath and my heartbeat, my pulse and my womb, my brokenness and my sometimes polished exterior.

No need to battle and pretend there is such a thing as control.

Your words – under your words – spend time holding them close, with love and grace. Hold space for joy amidst the not-so-joyful and the belly laughter amidst the tears of sadness.

Now: A simple 5 step process for you to witness your life in words – all of your life – from a meditative, mindful frame of mind.

Day 1: a vase of irises shares how the words under words will be made more peaceful when we make peace through witnessing "what is" , blending poetry and meditation to create, make and live a more mindful, art-filled life.

We write from a place of peace: we don’t judge the writing as it falls off the tip of our pens or fingers on the keyboard or fingers on our screens. We allow the words to fall as they will without editing, judgment or forethought.

We are witnesses, not judges. We hold space for ourselves to enjoy the process regardless of what story our words are telling.

Step One has the irises in a vase and advises us to use clear, descriptive, sense based words. These words may be colors, flavors and other objective details rather than words like "amazing" or "nice" or "pleasant".

Write what you experience, not what your opinion is about what you experience. Instead of “It was good” or “I think it is pretty” write “The bright purple irises fill the glass vase with the twine tied in a bow.” “There was a hint of vanilla in the chocolate chip cookies” or “He was over six feet tall, which made my five foot four inch frame feel tiny.” Yes, there is some opinion in that final sentence, but see how it is supported in fact?

There is a beautiful shade of green, slightly mottled with purple on the other side of the vase of irises. Step 2 is "Write in snapshots or moments in time rather than large periods of time all at once. When you write in snapshots you capture the core of your story, of the "what happened."

You can practice this by taking actual photos of your life as it happens or looking at a photo from the past and writing about what was happening when the photo was taken. Immerse yourself back in that moment of with rich, sensory details. Once you master this, your writing will become increasingly magnetic and at the same time, connect you to your readers more and more deeply no matter what you are writing.

At the center of all good writing is a daily (or close to daily) writing practice. One way to stay in the witness is to make a list of what happened the day before during your writing practice time. When we do so, our subconscious mind will begin cataloguing details and your writing choices will become richer.

People often resist the idea of writing practice. It sounds like too much or a chore or something inherently unpleasant or without a purpose. When one tries and sustains this, it becomes deeply pleasurable and life changing in the most positive direction one might suspect. Try it for a small amount of time at first and see how it works. Experiment with different times of day and different methods of “containment” – I write in notebooks and other times on my phone and with my computer keyboard. Allow yourself to try different means and methods.

Step 4 invites us to lovingly lower our expectations. Rejoice in the perfectly imperfect and live outside the judgment zone when we are witnesses to our life.

Recognize what you write will not be perfect – part of the practice is to welcome the imperfect, the grammatical mistakes and the misspellings. Sometimes these are the most valuable parts of the growth experience. Enjoy the process for the sake of the process. Document the facts, not what you think of the facts. Begin to appreciate the imperfections with as much love and joy as the “perfections.”

Final Step: Revisit your daily (or whenever close to daily) free flow, meditative style writing once a week to glean life patterns, creative patterns and celebrate your growing awareness of witness.

Revisiting your writing is a deep pleasure as well as a method to note your progress. I can return to notebooks years later and wonder who this person was – while delighting in her moment-by-moment delight and discovery. Sometimes I long for her presence or find I have wandered off course and the past-me from my writing notebooks reminds me. The witnessing me of the past reaches out to the witnessing me of the future.

This is miraculous, just like you are miraculous.

You may follow along here on the blog as well as via social media. There will be different daily versions on different social media platforms. I suggest starting here on the blog and on Instagram for Instagram Live and IGTV episodes. You may see Facebook Live for 5 for 5 Brain Dump sessions at Writing Camp with JJS which may be accessed here.

Woman writing on the front porch of a brick home,
Write wherever you find yourself.

Julie JordanScott has been writing since before she was literate by dictating her thoughts to her mother and then copying in thick crayons onto construction paper. She was a pioneer in epublishing and continues to reach readers through her blog, bestselling books, greeting cards and her essays and poems in anthologies. Join her for one of her upcoming #5for5BrainDump programs or an upcoming writing circle or writing for social media programs.

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