Creative Process – Creative Life Midwife

Paradise Found and Tossed About and Found Again.

June 26, 2019 by jjscreativelifemidwife Leave a Comment

I tend to feel a slight twinge of guilt when I don’t agree with my favorite writers. Today, I feel sheepish because I disagree with this quote from one of the most revered women’s voices in current literature. Today, I agree to disagree about the other side of paradise with a favorite writer and poet I’ve been reading and quoting for years.

“Happiness is a garden walled with glass: there’s no way in or out. In Paradise there are no stories, because there are no journeys. It’s loss and regret and misery and yearning that drive the story forward, along its twisted road.”
― Margaret Atwood

On a warm June afternoon I considered this quote and I don’t want to agree with it.

In fact, I am feeling the excitement of victory above and over the damn thing.

Loss, regret, misery and yearning alone move stories forward?

It can’t be so, this can’t be the reason or the magnet or the finish line or the goal posts rising toward the sunset and champagne and accolades and hugs and happy high fives. No no no no and no.

I respect Margaret Atwood AND no, I don’t believe her assertions here about happiness and paradise. Do you believe what she says?

I’m going to think of today as a microcosm of story.

I had a blast of a morning: so much fun in my virtual co-working experience where we all got more than the norm done. We all moved forward perhaps along a slightly twisted road and I heard nothing about misery.

We had some technical glitches and stuff took a little longer than we had hoped, but loss and regret?

I’ll look at something else from today. Lunch with Emma. Found out a server at a restaurant we go to died in a car accident. Definitely loss. Discovered a gofundme I can share, something I can take action on, which made me feel slightly better.

Next Emma and I went to Kaiser. I felt annoyance due to poor communication but at least we took action. One might argue we were focused on avoidance of misery if a broken toe is misery. Perhaps it could be misery?

I put her car key on a cute key chain I found. I have no idea where the key chain came from, I just know I felt ridiculously happy because I have a horrible habit of misplacing keys and this one simple tool would make it much easier… to avoid loss and or regret?

Perspective, I think as five minutes of writing passes and I start yawning, wanting to avoid more discovery of loss or regret or misery or needless misery.

Happiness is unexpectedly seeing an old friend who values you more than you believe you deserve.

Happiness is forgiving yourself for being afraid and then finally taking action. Happiness is having the action netting authentically pleasing results.

Happiness is framing photos and art after waiting a while, and then hanging that art which makes people smile and then create their own art.

Happiness is going to a meeting where people appreciate you and a meetup with a friend who finds you funny and interesting and surprises you with the memories of you she shares.

I totally forgot the loss and yearning and misery as I recounted happiness which is probably why I feel so strongly about using gratitude as an ending point for free flow writing exercises.

I have experienced a lot of grief in my life. I have lost friends I cherished, I have fallen upon hard times with my face squarely in the mud for a lot longer than was healthy.

What helped me pick myself up and begin again was not the misery or the grief itself, it was the awareness of the sun rising, again, even after a lengthy darkness.

It isn’t an either misery or ecstacy, it is the awareness that even with misery or is currently great loss, there is also room for joyful ecstacy. It isn’t one or the other, there is one and there is the other.

Paradise has stories. For some reason, I am smelling vanilla – rich vanilla, not cheap, mild flavored vanilla – when I think of paradise stories. I see maps and diaries detailing journeys into and out of and over paradise and journeys into and out of and over and into hell: which is the only antonym for paradise (heaven, bliss, cloud nine, utopia, wonderland) and many other synonyms to happily, contentedly and transformatively describe a space many of us aim to inhabit.

Misery might love company, paradise loves permanent residents: especially those who are compassionate and kind to those who live outside. Those who haven’t learned about the joy of experiencing the richness and fullness and sweet losses of life with grace and hope and a future.

I can’t think of the perfect red bow to tie this up and I want to be finished.
Maybe you have a more proper ending? If you do, add it here.

As for me, I am off to today’s next paradise, next regret, next happiness, next loss, next story and next dissatisfaction and next moment of deep belly laughter, and the next story I tell about it all.

Julie JordanScott is the Creative Life Midwife: Her work as a life coach, muse and group facilitator has inspired best selling novels, new careers and knocking knees during speeches, performances and video releases. Right now she is enjoying hosting Ta-Da Tuesdays and preparing for her next Summer and Fall programs.

Good Job, Dear Friend

June 23, 2019 by jjscreativelifemidwife 1 Comment

“I have turned away from myself, ” I thought, this morning.

A trigger, a “oh no not that!” feeling rose from my gut. It wasn’t a running away screaming with my arms flailing, it was a quietly tip toe away so no one notices and climbing into a corner behind a curtain so that no one would take notice of my disappearance and then….
I realized this is what I have habitually done.

Past, present and now with awareness may cross off my “to-do” list or “to be forgiven for when arises in the future” list.

So interesting, this self-witness thing because in the turning away from myself, I am actually turning away from the gifts I bring to this world, it is like shutting off a valve of all that is good and right and pleasing to others as well as myself.

Do you ever find yourself doing this? Please tell me I am not alone in this.

I give myself the gift of five minutes to write and I find myself holding my face in my hands like in “The Scream” by Edvard Munch except my face is lifeless and numb, not outwardly screaming at all but…..

Perhaps this is the quintessential Julie scream. Numb, not even noticing myself pull away until I have sunk into unconscious disconnection.

I look around the room. My messy art table, my floor that needs a once (or several times) over.

Note to self. You are seeing. You are feeling. You are writing. You are alive.

You have now turned back to yourself.

Well done, good and faithful friend.

Coffee as a waker upper today and through July

I’ve been absent from here. My intention is to write a five-minute-blog post daily (or as close as I’m able) starting in July and figured this was as good a time as any to begin. I literally grabbed a random photo as a header… it fit… and am looking forward to writing this week with the #5for5BrainDump I’m running this week. Here’s to taking off the numb and beginning again, again.

How to Ask Questions Differently to Create Better Results

March 5, 2019 by jjscreativelifemidwife 4 Comments

“If you treat every question as if you’ve never heard it before, your students feel like you respect them and everyone learns a lot more.”
Anita Diamont in The Boston Girl

What questions are you asking that might be more effective if you ask them from a different perspective or angle?

What if you used slightly different words – like instead of saying “What do I want?” practice and play with “What are you excited about?” or “What are you looking forward to?” or “What’s next for you?” and then following the flow of the conversation or if I am journaling, following the flow of my energy straight into my pencil or pen.

“What I am excited about tomorrow?” can open up a planning session from a dull creation of a checklist into a jumble of realizations or a suddenly give me choices of actions rather than a dictation of shoulds and “oh geesh, I gotta do this or that” which makes me get sick to my stomach just thinking about it.

Maybe I understand “What do I want” to be slightly edgy or depressing because I played “The Ghost of Christmas Present” and one of the scariest moments in that production is when the children who play “ignorance” and “want” are so tragic. The truth is, I used to utilize “want” all the time with my coaching clients, but now, I favor other questions like the ones I shared with you above.

You may modify to make questions that resonate more strongly with you.

Here’s one that works with me:

“What brave action will I take today?” comes along with “How much better do I want to feel?” which for me comes from stopping the procrastination train in its tracks.

This particular question appeared right at the end of a 5 minute journal writing session – where oftentimes the really good stuff comes, right when you have said “I am committed to creating in short chunks to get more done” like our signature #5for5BrainDump.

Questions also help to end procrastination and help you to take action against it.

My biggest project right now in my household is tackling my living room one section at a time so with that, I am asking myself the question, “How fantastic will it feel when someone knocks at the door and you don’t have to worry whether they can see into that cluttered room?”

Brand new response to the question I am hearing for the first time? “I would feel pretty darned good, self!”

Just asking myself “What do I want?” hasn’t brought me significant results. It forgot the value of positive energy and what happens when we choose to use that energy to create flow.

I’m in it, fully, now, because I am practicing asking better questions.

From what you’ve seen here and noticed in the rest of your life, what questions are most likely to stir you into action and then momentum?

Julie JordanScott, the Creative Life Midwife, is a writer, a poet performer, a Creativity Coach, and a Mother of three. One of her
greatest joys include loving people into their greatness they just aren’t quite able to realize yet. To set up a complimentary exploratory session, please visit here.

Now Begin: Your Journey Back to Where You Were Always Meant to Be

February 1, 2019 by jjscreativelifemidwife 1 Comment

We’re being called to refresh our lives: to begin again, to realize and become who we were meant to become since even before we were born.

Our life coaching and personal growth series, “Now Begin, Again” will help you as you discover how to open, wake up, stop the negative self-talk and destructive habits and replace them with all that is good, right, sacred and true. .

For the next few weeks I’ll be livestreaming the poem, “Now Begin” – sharing it’s transformative power with you. Along the way we will scoop up writing prompts, some stories and a lot of fresh new insights so that you may lead a better life.

Wake Up: Now Begin Your (Re)Newed Life: #LifeCoach #Love #amwriting https://t.co/LihBreU0SP
— Julie Jordan Scott – Let's free your words…. (@JulieJordanScot) January 28, 2019

I’ll be scattering the goodness on Facebook Live, Periscope and IGLive before I meander over to YouTube with it.

And Now, the Poem and the Introduction as shared on Instagram TV and Twitter:

The Poem that Started the Series: Written in 1999.

Take away the degrees, titles and accomplishments –

What is discovered at your core?\

What is your unique, special spark?

Buried deep, neglected, that you’ve chosen to ignore?

Seeking to please whomever.

Drowning out the pure longings of your heart

Struggling, freezing, suffocating –

Until finally, you choose to start.

Whispers from the spirit.

Soul’s song from deep within.

After dancing, stranger among strangers –

Claim it. Your life. Now Begin –

Take the poem more deeply with these prompts focused on the first line. Throughout the series more prompts will be offered for you to explore more deeply and begin again, better and better and better.

Writing prompts for a efreshed beginning from Julie JordanScott. Gain personal discovery while enjoying poetry from the Creative Life Midwife.

End the Downward Self Talk Spiral: From Lament to Self Love

January 25, 2019 by jjscreativelifemidwife Leave a Comment

Why do I have to go so deep with so many things? Why do I take a submarine dive into a simple prompt?
Why am I compelled to feel so deeply? Why aren’t toe dips in the shallow end enough for me?
Why do I get so passionate about certain subjects that I am a weasel who won’t let go and then wonder why some people turn and walk away, shaking their heads

Do you ever hear yourself in a self-talk spiral that finds faults with lament qualities you would enjoy in someone else?

This week has been overly abundant in self-laments and at times more negativity than necessary or appropriate.

Why do I have to go so deep with so many things? Why do I take a submarine dive into a simple prompt?
Why am I compelled to feel so deeply? Why aren’t toe dips in the shallow end enough for me?
Why do I get so passionate about certain subjects that I am a weasel who won’t let go and then wonder why some people turn and walk away, shaking their heads

I had a simple prompt to write about the antagonist for my work-in-progress that I recently finished copyediting and it took me most of the day to come up with a slightly coherent response. Here is a slice of the Instagram post I wrote:

Permission to lament is granted. Healthy boundaries lead to breakthroughs,

I’ve been struggling with this post today as it isn’t easy to say or admit or deal with and then there is this reality that as a writer I am supposed to be able to write easily.

My antagonist in my WIP (almost done, in final edits) is as much an entity as a human, though in my head there is one scene that replays over and over and over again that involves two fully grown men including a school psychologist basically holding my son in a corner while he was screaming and they were standing there with their arms folded “guarding” a six-year-old-boy who was overwhelmed and unable to process what was happening to him/around him.

The school psychologist who ought to have recognized the behaviors associated with autism spectrum, who under the education code was legally obligated to make a referral to have my son tested – in fact, he ought to have administered the tests – was instead standing over him with his arms folded.

Today I have been imagining what that must have been like for him.

I remember arriving on the scene and breaking through the guard barrier and picking him up and setting him on my lap and rocking him as his crying started tapering off because he was being treated like a human again.

And then the person who has impacted me most in this past year and then into the new year is not a single person, but the shattering of my expectations of what is good and right and expected.

My inner wrangling is a reflection of my unmet longings and an opportunity of confessional. Opening myself in soul confession is something that has bit by bottom most recently though at the best of times, authentic confessions have built constructive relationships.
Focus on that true memory: authentic confessions build constructive relationships, soulful friends, faithful and vibrant companions.

Suddenly a light comes on above my eyebrows:

I am a complex human who loves well, who is active in a variety of spaces and places. I love complexity, unconventionality and deep connection.

My inner wrangling is a reflection of my unmet longings and an opportunity of confessional. Opening myself in soul confession is something that has bit by bottom most recently though at the best of times, authentic confessions have built constructive relationships.

Focus on that true memory: authentic confessions build constructive relationships, soulful friends, faithful and vibrant companions.

It is with people who are not aligned that I have fallen flat.

Here is to laments and the celebrations that come from the light within.

Here is to the antagonists and the inadvertent transformation they spark.

Here is to me, in my wobbly embrace of my narrative, your narrative and her narrative. It feels so good to find my smile after kicking around in this rubble for a day (which I realize now was a well spent day afterall.)

Julie JordanScott is a creative life coach, writer, poet, Mama extraordinaire and mixed media artist whose greatest joys include loving people into their greatness they just aren’t quite able to realize yet. To set up a complimentary exploratory session, please visit here.

She is so thrilled to announce the next session of the Passionate Women’s Writing Circle is open for registration. Find out more and
Join the upcoming Passionate Women’s Writing Circle which begins again on Friday, February 1. Click for details and to sign up now.

This Somewhat Sleepy Morning, I Knew: 3 Ways to Be a Mirror, Not a Deflector.

January 23, 2019 by jjscreativelifemidwife 2 Comments

This morning I dragged my sorry tired self out of bed for the 5 am writers club thirty minutes late. I had been looking at Instagram and reading about ridiculous TV, mindlessness and unconscious floating, but my keyboard was calling and I answered.

With writing sessions like this one, I don’t expect brilliant sentences strung together effortlessly. I am happy with single word repeated, “Intention, intention, intention” might be a good example.

A gratitude list and slight expansion on gratitude is helpful.

Normally I write with lyric free, instrumental music. This morning, I knew I needed an ode to clarion call, a rallying cry, a moment of truth for the words that wanted me to speak.

This morning, though, I was listening to John Mayer’s “Say What You Need to Say” and my fingers found the words, “Best of luck in your next endeavors. Get therapy. Keep working on yourself. Hold up a mirror instead of a deflector.

3 Paths to “How to Be a Mirror, Not a Deflector”

Accept your weaknesses not as enemies but as part of your most important allies-in-the-making.
Move forward with love through aligned passionate action instead of attacking with fear and hate, evidenced by statements meant to push known “buttons” in others.
Recognize your own value from the perspective of those who see you as a whole person, weaknesses surrounded by strengths. Someone dedicated to growing, betterment and adding to the increase steadily.

Julie JordanScott is the CreativeLifeMidwife. She loves creating life changing content to inspire you into passionate action as she has been doing for two decades. Join her upcoming Passionate Women’s Writing Circle which begins again on Friday, February 1. Click for details and to sign up now.

Your Writing Life: Write Your Love to the World

January 18, 2019 by jjscreativelifemidwife Leave a Comment

Poet Mary Oliver long ago reminded me, “My work is loving the world.” in her poem, “The Messenger.”

This single line in her well-crafted poem has shaped many choices I have made by asking myself, “How am I loving the world in this action I am taking?”

Sometimes I do a slight translation or edit to the original work when I ask “How is my writing loving the world?”

I write for different reasons at different times. Sometimes I write because my words may be of service. I write because I must. I write because I am a better human being when words splash on the page.

Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love wrote: “I write regularly, but in bursts, if that makes sense. I’ve never been burned by writer’s block, either. Writing is my love and my life, but it’s also a job.”

You may be in a couple spaces: you don’t have enough time to write.

You may be in a space where your writing lives within the “I gotta do it, I gotta do it, I must publish this blog post, but wait, there is laundry and my child’s soccer practice and…. Oh, here’s a writing assignment that will pay me $25! Throw all my personal goals to the side to make $25 so I can call myself a pro!”

I know these well because I have lived each and all of them.

When I do my best and my writing is the best is when I think of it as my “work” not “just another crummy gig.”

Each writing job I choose to take is honorable. I am blessed because my work, my writing, is loving the world.

How do you show love to the world through your writing?

How do you show your love to the world through work?

Consider these questions – and consider adding your comment to this post. I so enjoy connecting with you.

Julie JordanScott is the CreativeLifeMidwife who loves creating life changing content to inspire you into passionate action. She has a writing circle starting on February 1 and several other challenges and programs in the near future where you may participate as well.

Insights into How to Tune into Gratitude: Bridge to a New Year Day 4

December 4, 2018 by jjscreativelifemidwife Leave a Comment

#BridgetotheNewYear Day 4 Prompt: Appreciation and Gratitude

Today’s Prompt: What have you grown to appreciate in 2018? .
How do you show your appreciation? .
Is there a way you would like to grow in gratitude practice in 2019?

I started adulthood as a cynical naysayer, sneering down my nose at the “attitude of gratitude” army who I likened to television evangelists with overdone make up and dramatic acts of supposed religiosity. And then, something happened.

I am not sure when or who or how it happened, but I decided to start making a gratitude list every day.
And then I started making a gratitude list in community.
And then I started making a gratitude list in community for 365 days straight.

This isn’t for everyone… and it changed things for me. Oprah was talking about it, gratitude was an every day “thing.”

It still is for me, though I don’t keep a 365 Gratitude list anymore, it is ever present in my consciousness most of the time. (A side note, perhaps it will resurge in 2019).

This year I have grown to appreciate in greater depth something I have believed for years: the majority of the people sharing this rich, ripe globe with me want to do good by one another.

They want to pitch in, they want to help and be of service. People enjoy being asked to provide as they can and get a lot of satisfaction out of lending a helpful hand (or wallet or spare bedroll or bisquit.)

A month ago this came to light in a new, larger and more grand way than I could have foreseen. A woman I have come to call my daughter was in a crisis more than 1,000 miles from me and more than 2,000 miles from her blood family. She was a refugee stranded in a small city in Colorado after enduring more hardship than most Americans I know endure.

When her teary voice said to me, “I don’t know if I can take this, Mum.” I sprang to action and started connecting with people who started connecting with people who started connecting with people and miracles happened for this young woman.

My three youngest children, Samuel< Queenta and Emma. Children of my blood and of my heart. Welcome to the US, Queenta. — My three youngest children, standing by the Palm tree where they have traditionally posed for years. Samuel, Queenta, Emma

The thing is, we had more outward differences than samenesses AND the greatest sameness lived in our heart space, in our love for humanity and in a willingness to go beyond what others may do – but only because they don’t know how yet.

The next day I spoke to my cousin and she said, “Wow, you have an incredible network of people.” And I responded, “They’re your network, too,” just like they are YOUR network, you who are reading this now.
I didn’t know many of the people who helped. I just knew people who knew people who knew people and I asked and I kept asking until my daughter was safe and sound.

I’m still showing appreciation and gratitude to the people I met along the way.

Gratitude is best expressed and practicing in a variety of ways helps. — In 2013 I had a gratitude jar, holding delights, which doubled as a writing prompt jar. Writing of gratitude expands it.

I stepped away from writing and thought, “Sometimes I throw my gratitude out there, littering the world with it when I’m feeling fully connected and vibrant. When I am not, divinity delivers an invitation to notice gratitude and sometimes, the circumstances are so overwhelmingly beautiful in every way, it is like gratitude has rushed in and done a cosmic happy dance and I can’t help but burst over with joy.

Gratitude: sometimes I lean into it, sometimes appreciation takes my hand and shows me the way and sometimes gratitude is a moshpit of laughter so great I can’t even begin to fully understand it.

In 2019 I want to deepen my gratitude practice. As I said above, I believe it is time to share my gratitude in a journal and also publicly. I shared on my facebook page a few days ago I think I will continue to do so.

I also want to use the power of energy to share gratitude, via the people I meet randomly – really looking into their hearts, their being – and expressing gratitude not only with words but via the beating of my heart. I don’t think that makes sense in language form, but I do know my heart just warmed up as I wrote those words.

Woo woo. I can hear some of you. And then I remember what I used to think about those “fakes” and “weird attitude of gratitude” people and my temporary embarrassment diminishes.

Now it’s your turn. If you blog, consider blogging on these themes – link up at juicyjournaling.com

Today’s Prompt: What have you grown to appreciate in 2018? .
How do you show your appreciation?

Is there a way you would like to grow in gratitude practice in 2019?

If you Instagram, look for the hashtags #BridgetoTheNewYear or #Bridgeto2019 Follow our prompts there, too.

If you would like to be a part of a Free Facebook Group where these subjects are being discussed, please visit us here and request membership.

Until tomorrow,
Julie JS Your Creative Life Midwife.

Bridge to the New Year: One Word #OLW 2018 – 2019?

December 2, 2018 by jjscreativelifemidwife Leave a Comment

Here is one of the ways I find images for the content I create: I go to my flickr account – the one I have had for more than ten years and holds a huge repository of photos.

I do a quick search and up pop usually related possibilities. Today I searched FREE and a garden I used to visit as a child popped up.

I may have literally asked, “Why are these showing up as “free” when it hit me.

I only felt happiness here at Freeman Gardens.

It was an oasis, I remember walkign along the path in the back corner that felt like a wilderness, carrying my hand-me-down brownie camera taking photos.

On my walk to school in the Spring, I tasted honeysuckles growing on her fences.

I “bridged up” in an early ritual of growing toward being a woman. Each earnest little girl walked over a rickety bridge we only knew to trust.

Katherine and I visited after she graduated from Smith in May, 2014 and she is who you see in the photo above.

I felt freedom and love when I visited Katherine again, in May 2018. At this point she was married, had graduated from seminary, and was being ordained. My freedom seems slightly ironic because I was without a car but I read two novels, saw many friends from long ago and friends from livestreaming I had never met face-to-face and I regretted not planning better but in retrospect I was grateful for the freedom of no expectations.

My one word, one little word, Theme Word, whatever it might be described for 2018 was “Freedom” usually declared with a smug look on my face. Well, that smug was wiped away within the first three weeks of the year when I lost final shreds of friendships and the trajectory toward a lot of uncomfortable disengagement flooded my reality.

As little as six weeks ago I was ready to declare 2018 another in what felt like a long line of disappointing failures until… I gained clarity, like when I found this photo and realized this park – called “Freeman Gardens” which is probably why it showed up in the search – was a place I only knew happiness. While I had a fairly normal childhood, there was a lot of sadness, a lot of not-so-great episodes amidst the outward semblance of Father Knows Best and the Donna Reed Show.

2018 did show me freedom, also, simply in surprising ways.

I experienced freedom to let go of people and circumstances that caused more pain than promise, the freedom to say no or “I am not sure” or “not this time.”

I gave myself the freedom to be bad at things and I even gave myself the permission to ask people to participate in activities because I didn’t feel comfortable to do them alone and people even said yes on more occasions than not.

Turns out freedom wasn’t such a bad word for the year afterall.

Next year: right now for some reason Declaration and Proclamation are both attempting to get my attention. As usual, I am giving them space while still leaving the door open to other suitors.

Tell me about your One Word, #OLW or whatever you call it for 2018 and if you are not sure right now for 2019 that is completely fine, too.

This post is a part of Bridge to the New Year, a collaborative project/initiative between Creative Life Midwife and JuicyJournaling.com Each day during December we will be offering prompts to guide participants through the process of reviewing and reflecting the year and setting a framework (roadmap, intention) for the New Year. There is also a facebook group with discussion, videos and more.

Bridge to the New Year Day 1 – Introduction: A Potpourri of Me

December 1, 2018 by jjscreativelifemidwife Leave a Comment

Today’s prompt:

Use this prompt across social media – link up at JuicyJournaling.comhttp://juicyjournaling.com

My first thought was:

How am I going to get 10 – 30 things about me that are in anyway interesting that won’t bore everyone because we all know, well, some of us have been educated – there is nothing more horrid as an artist than being boring.

So. I took some time to brainstorm some things about me you may not know. I haven’t done much proofing so I apologize for any grammatical or spelling errors in advance. Take it as freedom to be imperfect.

1. I have never seen any Harry Potter films nor have I read any Harry Potter books. I know you may be saying “How shocking! That’s appalling! I would LOVE Hermione! How could I not read these fantastic books?! Two parts to that response. 1. I take offense when woman authors don’t proudly stand up and say “I am a woman!” granted, I didn’t know JK Rowlings’ story at the time or I might not have been so strident and 2. When I say something, I usually stick with it.

2. I am a melanoma survivor. I have a large heart scar on my face as a remnant and a reminder. I often cover it with hair styles.

3. I gave up acting for thirty years between the ages of eleven-years-old and forty-one-years-old. Although I am not as active in performance as I once was, I have done more than thirty stage productions, seven films, a documentary and a handful of commercials. Weirdly, I have an IMDB page. How did this happen?

4. Writing and poetry has been in my blood stream since before I was literate. I still love being read aloud to – it is one of my most favorite activities on the planet.

5. One of my highest values is showing up, so if I say I will be somewhere I try really hard to get there and if I am not there, I am either near dead, helping out in a child-emergency, or beating myself up for not planning better or whatever it is that got in my way.

6. I have a brown spot in my left eye. This is one of those boring trivia items just because I tell it all the time and it is no longer interesting.

7. When I was in high school, I entertained my friends during lunch by doing accents. Now I entertain my friends on live stream… doing accents.

8. My uncle Jim used to call me “A dandy baby” primarily because I smiled all the time and was very charming. I used this throughout my childhood and into young adulthood. I remember when we were traveling I would focus on business men with my coquette-ish flirting. I remember receiving at least one gift. In my first job after college at a rental car company, my co-workers were in awe of how many customers brought me gifts.

9. I am an ordained minister, like Joey in Friends. I am also an actual ordained deacon in the Presbyterian Church, USA. I can officiate weddings and funerals and any other sacred ceremonies people might want performed. I have the honor of doing weddings from time-to-time though I really loved facilitating/leading/officiating my brother’s celebration of life after he died and would enjoy doing more of those.

10. I have been blogging since 2003. I had a rather successful website from which I made a sustainable living from 1999 to 2007. I originally blogged to have an “unplugged” place online where I didn’t have to be my “professional persona” all the time. Everything has evolved but I have a block around websites. I have a new one half-assedly in the works and the designer of CreativeLifeMidwife and I never really hit it off in a way that made completion a thing. So. There’s that.

11. I am an art journaler and mixed media artist. (I said that aloud here for some of my artist friends who have been waiting to hear me confess that.) As far as visual arts go, I have mostly sold photos but I have also sold several mixed media pieces. Not a lot, but… perhaps someday.

12. I love to travel and aim to be a digital nomad once my children are up and out of the house. After today, with Emma’s health issues I wonder if that will be any time soon at all, which is a fair thought neither to her nor my vision for the world and the future. These thoughts are exactly why Bridge to 2019 is so important! To work through what happened and gain clarity so that intentions may be set and re-visioning may take place.

13. I have been writing since before I could write. I would dictate to my mother and she would write out what I said and I would copy it in crayon. This is part of my ‘writer’s story” which I feel I overtell.

14. Before I was 45 I lost 5 close friends to various sorts of cancers. I have never explored the impact of this, but I don’t know anyone else who has lost so many close friends. I just connected how close their deaths came to John’s death and the many losses of 2006/7.

15. Speaking of 2007, when John died, I had an out of body experience. How I describe it is this: my soul leaped from the shell that hosts it and chased after John. God (insert whatever word you use here) literally shoved me back into my body and wordlessly told me “No you don’t! Your work isn’t done here.” I might not have believed this really happened except my children who were in the car with me when it happened (yes, the car was parked) saw my body rise up, flop down and miraculously not crash my head against the steering wheel on the descent.

16. I am a PTA Mom. This didn’t happen until Samuel was in High School. I believe in parental involvement, but usually kept my business on the district level. I am grateful my time as a PTA Mom is almost over. My specialty within the group beyond being the secretary is doing all the public speaking and selling stuff.

17. I have been known to say my children are my greatest creative project of all. I believe this to be true. My biggest fear in life is failing my children. I don’t think this fear will ever go away.

Emma, Samuel and I at my childhood home in Glen Ridge, NJ in 2017

18. I believe the world is filled with loving people, primarily wanting to have a positive place in the world. I recently saw this unfold when a totally diverse group of strangers and friends rallied around a young refugee woman from Cameroon I befriended while she was in detention at an ICE facility here in Bakersfield. These people didn’t ask about political parties, religion, socioeconomics, anything. They heard there was a need they could fill and they did, immediately and in the moment. This was one of the most humbling, incredible experiences of my life. I’m sure it will come up during the Bridge.

19. I have four brothers and one sister. I have had one brother die. I basically don’t speak to two of my siblings and sometimes I wonder how they will feel when I die. I think I have grieved the loss of our connection for a long time, so I have no idea how I will grieve. My brother I am in closest touch with texted me tonight and confirmed we will all have Christmas together, something Mom had mentioned but I was afraid to follow up on. This means – during the Bridge, I will have a closer answer.

20. I realize I have many more than 30 I could share actually, but I will stop here. I separated out the birth stories. I have always been fascinated with birth stories (there is a reason I am the creative life midwife!) and Katherine is named after a midwife – who happened to be one of my close friends who died very young – but I figured not everyone is as enamored. Oh, wait. Make it 21.

One of my favorite photos of my daughters and me, circa 2012 ish.

21. I am a relatively open book and will answer most questions I am asked directly without hesitation. Feel free to ask.

Birth Stories:
22. I have been pregnant 5 times. I have three living children and 2 other daughters-of-the-heart who refer to me as Mom or My Mom.
23. When I gave birth to Samuel, I was speechless when I saw I had managed the impossible – giving birth to a boy. (If you are willing to have some TMI, I also had an orgasm when I had Samuel. How strange is that! I will never tell him that though… just too weird.)
24. When I gave birth to Emma, my first loving words to her were, “She has a cone head.”
25. When I gave birth to Katherine, it took me a while to look at her. I was scared. After all, the first thing I said after Marlena was born was, “Our baby is dead.” I think I’ll edit that out. In the end, I chose not to. Edit it out.

Julie JordanScott is The Creative Life Midwife and one of the Founders of Bridge to the New Year. Join us in reflecting, connecting, intending and taking passionate action to create a truly remarkable 2019.

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