Confession: I get tired of hearing myself say (aloud or via text message or in an email or in a facebook group saying something like this:
“My computer connection is so slow today, I can’t get it done.”
“I’m just not feeling it.”
“This other person’s desires and needs are more important than mine, so… sorry self for not doing what I had listed as my goals, my intentions, my heart calls.”
“I have to give my complete focus to this television show so I can’t….”
Long ago I wrote an article asking myself and other’s to admit “can’t” is actually a choice.
More specifically when we deconstruct “can’t” into “choosing at this moment not to” a shift will begin to happen.
Instead of blaming the internet – and yes, there are days when disconnection gets in the way but these are also days to do different important tasks AND there are always ways to get internet elsewhere. I have been known to hang out at a local coffee shop specifically for this purpose. For a writer who doesn’t thrive on being alone constantly, knowing I can pick up and move my computer to a different location sometimes breaks through I can’ts.
The knee–jerk “I’m just not feeling it,” may mean it is in your best interest to choose to take a walk (stretch, do yoga pose, call a friend for ten minutes, take a 15 minute tea break) and come back to it when you will magically be feeling it. Tip for this one: set a timer and don’t allow your “getting your creative-groove back” turn into an entire day retreat. Remember, you are choosing at this MOMENT not to, you are opting out of self-sabotage as a lifestyle.
“This other person’s desires and needs are more important than mine, so…” and anyone who has known me for longer than a day or so will recognize this as my most frequent self-saboteur “look at me the heroic martyr on behalf of those I love!” technique. There are times when other people’s needs WILL draw you away – remember to make this into a CHOICE not an unconscious, self-destructive habit.
As for the television or any other activity where you are a passive watcher, you may be able to fulfill other hopes, wishes and ambitions simultaneously. This is what motivated me to finally, after years of wanting to learn crochet I am choosing to learn to crochet. Sometimes if watching something IS significant, I take notes. As a writer, I may learn a lot from watching advertising, television shows and the evening news.
Then there times when watching television or videos or movies are an important escape. Those are definitely a conscious choice and important – it is when it becomes a habit that hurts your life one needs to be concerned.
The simple distinction: “I choose at this moment to….” And “I choose at this moment not to” is freeing and will help you to stay aligned with your greater purpose, your goals, your vision – and will help others to do the same because you are happily living the example.
I missed blogging yesterday. I chose other things. I’m grateful today I chose to be with you all, again.
What are you choosing today?
How will recognizing each activity is a choice – and becoming more conscious of this – change your day-to-day activities?