Creative Life Midwife

Inspiring Artistic Rebirth

September: Revisiting the Notebook

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“The best thing to do when fear strikes is to stand with it, learn from it, then act from what you learn.” Now, let’s keep learning, together. 
Julie JordanScott in her journal: September 1, 2015 

Rewriting one's narrative is essential when we journal for healing. Creative Life Coach Julie JordanScott will write daily during January from earlier journal entries to continue the discovery process here, in this blog.

What I’ve learned from fear since that day three years ago is so rich and deep and varied and so much a continual process and practice, I recognize the value of sticking with this question and different aspects of it throughout this first week of the month of September, 2018. Longer if necessary.

We will assess and then choose different subjects to write about over these next thirty days of writing for five minutes a day, day in and day out. Now. for the nitty gritty.

Ironically, my theme in September is Intentional Abundance, like it was in September, 2000. I remember because this is right when I found out I was pregnant with Samuel and actually now that I peer over my left shoulder at the memory of who I was in August 2000 was a supremely brave person inside and out.

My actions were aligned with the bravado – and the bravery wasn’t exactly courageous it was – I see it now, a work-in-progress and part of that “act-as-if philosophy” more than anything else.

Three years ago I had dropped Emma off at the University she attended. I had woken up on Katherine’s dorm room floor at Princeton Theological Seminary, I had met my now son-in-law Donald and shared our first meal together. I had, before this day or maybe on this day, driven with a friend from Las Vegas to Bakersfield.

She and I are no longer friends and that took courage. Perhaps that was a turning point into true courage, to do what hurts and is horribly uncomfortable because it is the aligned action to take.

When I stand with fear and learn from it, I am in alignment with my life purpose. I know with grace and soul connection, no matter what happens, it will happen and I will respond.

I gave up saying trite phrases like “everything will be ok, don’t worry about it,” because that sounds so fake yet when one of my parent-club friends gave me the advice this week that said, “Chin up…” and keep moving, basically – that felt aligned to me.

What in the past might have brought a bristling response from me this week what I heard and translated from “Chin up” was, “You are tuned in. Instead of concerning myself with what feels sad or not-exactly-right.. well, those may be the facts just like the fact is – I aim to continue to walk, march, hobble sometimes and hopefully with a straighter spine and a more spritely step in the days to come – toward the end result I have hoped and prayed and gazed toward for far too long without making forward progress

It is not unlike my favored saying. Show up. Look up. Translate.

I have learned people do the best they can in the moment they are in. That includes me. I have learned forgiveness doesn’t mean stepping back into relationships though sometimes it can. I have learned what might look like the best circumstances aren’t and what looks pretty icky and wobbly may be the surprisingly perfect fit.

My timer didn’t sound, though my five minutes are more than up.

Please follow along in September as I revisit past journals and notebooks and continue my quest to rewrite one’s life narrative to lead a more compelling, creative and complete life filled with purpose, passion and play. (So sorry for the alliteration foul: sometimes with brain dumping or free flow writing, that sort of shows up. These posts will be largely unedited, first draft versions which I hope will help each and all of us recognize the power is in the “showing up” not the worry about whether or not something is absolutely “correct” or “incorrect” (whatever that means.)

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What Was Your Greatest Gift? Journal, Write, Remember & Invite Your Next Fresh Start

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Writing Prompt: I remember when I received the gift of…..



This week in our #5for5BrainDump writing experience, we are exploring fresh starts and new beginnings.    

I was surprised when I myself felt blocked by the topic, even though I did oodles of research on a variety of approaches, I found myself stuck, stuck, stuck and then I thought….


Remember how it is when we receive incredible gifts and we are so thrilled and that wobbly, awkward discomfort is still there yet we often choose differently because of the excitement, because of the thrill – like I did when I got the gift of a guitar in 7th grade or the gift of my children or the gift of an afternoon off or at times the gift of a drink of water from a stranger when walking in the desert.


Today we’re telling the stories of gifts, received.


Tell us a memory of receiving a gift. Later on today, write about this memory for five minutes for deeper insights – start with a comment here plus let me know if you would appreciate me building in a 5 minute writing session on a separate video.

Please be sure you are following the JJS Writing Camp page on Facebook – we will go live there at 4 pm Pacific Daylight Time



Exclusive content may be found in our facebook community. Please join us! You are most welcome in our Word Love Writing Community Facebook group

There is more writing fun to come through optional fun activities like a livestreaming “train” or “Word-Love Party Bus Ride” FB Live Word-Love Party Bus Extravaganza on Tuesday evening and on Periscope (we have one planned on Wednesday) .

There will be more about this after tomorrow’s first #5for5BrainDump session.


I am thrilled to take this adventure in JOURNEYING with you!
With Passionate Gratitude and oodles of love,
Julie Jordan Scott

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Daily Making Diaries: Four Months Until Katherine’s Birthday & Christmas!

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  • This post was written #5for5BrainDump style which means – it was written using stream of consciousness writing for 5 minutes. No editing or forethought of content. Images were added later. #5for5BrainDump writing is meant to be an exploration of personal growths and a mini a-ha incubator… a collector of insights and awarenesses written on purpose… for no purpose.

It was a divine call today, I hadn’t even thought of stopping at the park on my drive home. I thought I would stop at a parking garage and take some panorama shots of metro Bakersfield. It was an ugly-sky-morning and I thought that was what I was meant to capture.

I am focusing on daily making, a practice of daily creativity because I know in doing this – a determined crafting of something – it will positively impact my entrepreneurship. It activates different parts of my mind that have been lying, dormant, waiting for me to shake myself back into life.

I decided I would purposefully capture images not at my ultimate destination of the moment, instead to capture scenery along the way. Interesting how yesterday’s imagery informed today’s choices.

I felt led to a park instead of a parking garage.

I did a fair share of stretching and bending and posing which felt almost yogic which felt great and was a response to my slight whining while I was getting ready for bed, “I need to stretch my hips more, this is ridiculous” and even though this morning I didn’t have “stretch your hips” on the list, there I was, stretching my hips as I squatted to get this, and other photos, so that I might tell the story the imagery was calling me to tell.

Even writing this feels awfully intimate and not entirely safe.

Two seconds and my five minute writing session will be over.

The bells ring. I’m awake. I’ve been uncomfortable enough and thrilled enough this morning.

 

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7 Simple Steps to Set Yourself Up For Journaling & Writing Success

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Writing success is so much simpler than people believe AND that doesn’t necessarily make it easy.

Simplicity definitely does make it do-able.

The first simple step to take is to set yourself up to write.

This is as simple as preparing a place to write. Just like we set the table before we eat a meal or set up a shot before we make a video or take a photo, we may also set up for writing.One of the suggestions I make to those who are almost always “going to write today” and then don’t is to literally put out all the writing tools they need, take some other unrelated action, and then plop down in the chair and write.

How it looks in seven easy steps goes like this:

  1. Place your notebook (or journal or writing paper), your pen or pencil (or tablet or phone).
  2. Set a water bottle beside your writing tools.
  3. If you like to write with music, preset the music you like.
  4. Whatever it is you prefer to have for your writing experience, literally put it all in one spot.
  5. Write a prompt across the top of the page or document. (There are many right on this page. Pull one down and use it, choose several to give you variety if that helps you get your energy flowing.
  6.  You might write a question such as “What is the best focus on my social media this week?” or “What are some sample headlines I might use for blog posts this week?” or “How may I be a heroine for my clients, customers and readers this week?”
  7.  Then do the opposite of writing: take 15 minutes (or your preferred allotment of time) to cook, to walk, to do a yoga sequence, a photo taking session, a drive, a shower – whatever it is that you enjoy doing to clear your mind and get into your body, to become more alert and then without any hesitation, sit in the chair and write.

You may want to light a candle or speak your intention aloud. I like to have my essential oils diffusing, so that’s an example of an extra item I use.

It is that simple.

You may follow along this week as we continue to learn tips, hacks and share stories on my livestreams (Periscope, Facebook Live, Instagram Live) this week as well as on IG-TV, Instastories, and YouTube. If you feel compelled to create content from what we’re sharing here, please tag me so I may support you and share what you’re up to with others.

Let’s have a more successful writing week than we ever imagined.

What’s the first writing project you will set free this week?

Our 5for5BrainDump 5 Day Writing Adventure is coming up next week – it is free for you to make your journaling and writing better at any time! To join us live, please take a moment to register here – and in thanks, you may download our free Strategic Journaling Guide for your future success with writing and with life, overall as well. 

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Art Journaling Plus Writing Follow Up = Insights Galore

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Sometimes art journaling and art making lead to surprising word combinations I enjoy taking more deeply with journaling of the more conventional kind: free flow writing.

Look what happened here:

The phrase “compassionate punishment” has continued to sit with me. If we were sentient beings in the same room, compassionate punishment would be sitting in a fashionable knock-off of a mid-century modern arm chair and I would be here, in my writing corner recliner wondering how long it will take me to feel better this morning after a difficult night.

When I feel like this, I hear voices of the past, like these:

Blond woman at Moms Group at church or was it, perhaps Bible Study, “Sometimes you just have to get on with it,” when I spoke about depression and loneliness.

I translated that into “Don’t talk about your feelings here at church. People won’t like you. Stay away.” My compassionate self-punishment was to not engage vulnerably with that particular woman again. I found others people to interact with and chose to stay away from that with her even though I would be happy to see her again.

Speaking of staying away, I… lost whatever image I meant to portray here.

I lean back in my recliner and decide which portion of this brief writing to leave unspoken.

“Earth is forgiveness school” Anne Lamott’s words and memory continues to haunt me.

I typed those words and a sweet bird sits on the brand of the tree that lives in my yard. Hop up, hop down.

“Earth is forgiveness school.” The bird, a vision of grace, reminded me of the love surrounding me, always.

Most recently, someone who was once my friend said to me not once, not twice, “Are you happy now, Julie?” in another moment of time that is scorched into my head. It literally took me about an hour to figure out what she was talking about, but I knew immediately the intent was for me to feel ashamed.

This morning I spoke with a friend who described me as grouchy. “I am allowed to feel what I feel,” I told him. “plus I wouldn’t call authentic feelings grouchy.”

Thankfully investing an hour or so in constructive conversation was exactly the medicine I needed to feel better. I can see the sentient-being-compassionate-punishment armchair has fallen asleep for now.

All’s well.

= = = =

The next #5for5BrainDump session: always free with miraculous creative breakthroughs, has been scheduled! August 21 – August 25 we will be creating/journaling/writing along the themes of Starting Fresh: Your Creative Rebirth. To receive emails about the free session details as well as a weekly tips-and-tricks note from Julie, please sign up (yes, always free) here. 

 

 

 

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Create Your Own Retreat: Whether You Have an Hour, a Weekend or 5 Minutes a Day!

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What prevents you from experiencing the positive experiences of a sacred or creative retreat?

What I hear most often is “I don’t have the time” or “I can’t afford to go…”

Can you imagine another option?

Watch this short video for ideas to use right now.

Next week we’re creating a Virtual Retreat with #5for5BrainDump. This is your perfect chance to try out what you’ve seen on the video!

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Island Life: When It Feels As If We Are Standing Alone

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I wrote these words #5for5BrainDump style. In other words, stream of consciousness, journal style without editing or forethought, trusting the words will continue to pour forth as we move our pencils or pens or fingers on the keyboard for just five minutes.

I had done another writing and felt the call to go more deeply into this particular subject. As I continue to work on the narrative of my life – and choosing a more constructive, heart-based and conscious narrative, I need to continually challenge myself to go more deeply every time I move my pen across the page.

Thank you for taking this adventure alongside me as you read. Starting with a quote – perhaps you will relate to it as well.

“I never said I wanted a ‘happy’ life but an interesting one. From separation and loss, I have learned a lot. I have become strong and resilient, as is the case of almost every human being exposed to life and to the world. We don’t even know how strong we are until we are forced to bring that hidden strength forward.”

Isabel Allende

I can’t remember when I started to describe my life as “island life” – where I lived alone on a deserted island separate from anyone who might remotely care about what I am up to by miles and miles of ocean water – inaccessible like Tom Hanks in “Castaway.”

I didn’t even have a WILSON in this version of my life. My children were in an alternate reality where I visited during the hours they needed me, otherwise, I sat along on my concrete, brick and mortar not very pretty island… solitary confinement.

The thing is, when I look at it objectively and with a loving heart, I see I am the one who created that island as a protective mechanism. I am the one who goes back there from time to time to seek solace from and with myself because “no one else really wants to” – or so I perceive.

When I stay in this space, I don’t feel sad and I don’t feel sorry for myself, because I almost always have a project to work on and am able to create my own excitement.

It does, however, get lonely.

I am grateful I am taking time to reflect on this today. It is easy to pretend it away, to turn off my constructive thought process. I am grateful I have a constructive process, not a “woe is I” process. I am grateful I took the time today. I am grateful Samuel and I did something fun yesterday and I took time to read a book yesterday. I am grateful I have friends who will join me when I invite them to do things.

I am grateful I am considering ways to take action to get off the island more regularly.

We always end our five minute writings from #5for5BrainDump with gratitude. This video excerpt below will explains that process – please remember I am available to speak with you individually as well as facilitate groups, speak to groups of all sizes and appear in interviews as well.

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Out in the Great Beyond Woo Woo: Having Fun with Factual because who pushes applecarts anymore, anyway?

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What does it mean to be “woo woo”?

I learned today from google that “woo woo” is a cocktail that sounds pretty darned yummy and what I was looking for was a classification of people or the way some people experience… again caught in a web of words.

It is almost a pejorative when someone says “woo woo”. When I say it,  I am often describing myself, the mystical me – the one who believes in a sort of alternate way at times that people who are more linear or scientific or stodgy might not understand. They might say I am cooky or nuts or… out there.

See, words can be tricky.

This is how it relates back to the Untalkaboutables.

I remember before Samuel was diagnosed with autism. I didn’t want to talk about his autism in certain circles because I could hear them say things like “don’t use labels” even in a movie I loved recently they kept saying “quirky” instead of autism. A women behind me said “He has autism.”

When we dance around or use metaphor or refuse to face what is so – we cloak that topic in being wrong and our mind hears “wrong” and this can be, at least, frustrating to those of us who thrive on accuracy and damaging to those of us whom “people pleasing” flows through our veins whispering “don’t do it wrong, don’t upset the apple cart”.

Who even pushes an apple cart anymore? Who even uses an apple cart anymore?

Practice in talking:

1. Practice being as factual in your conversation as possible.

2. If you are uncomfortable with just starting being factual, add a preface in your conversation – something like “I am attempting to be as succinct and close to the facts as possible, like an old-time journalist be.”

3. Do the opposite: be as ridiculously, flagrantly un-factual as possible in your conversation. This is actually a lot of fun and quickly brings us back to the facts.

And as always, we may start this practice with our writing. Take the three steps above from conversation and write them, instead.

I would love to hear from you about your progress with talking about your “Untalkaboutables”. Please comment your thoughts, experiences with woo woo and/or applecarts and maybe you would benefit from watching  more on my YouTube channel, too.  This particular video is about the twisting, curvy road of transformation. Take a moment to watch this video and then subscribe over there as well.

 

 

 

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False Fear of Abandonment & Truth: Love is Everywhere + Video & Writing Prompt

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You know those beliefs that are stuck so deep you don’t speak them ever for fear of… well, for me I suppose it is fear of amplifying that belief no matter how false I pray it is.

“If I don’t say it aloud then it can’t be true, right?”

Wrong. The reality is, if I don’t say it aloud it gains more and more power over me.

This morning I took on one of my primary, most primal fears that perhaps you share with me. After all, the majority of us have this fear hardwired into us. I replaced that belief with the simple affirmation. Love is everywhere. Love is everywhere. Love is everywhere.

Using the 5 minutes of magic that is #5for5BrainDump…. well, read further to see what came next.

The premise and not so happy prompt:

People will reject me: I don’t want to/I can’t survive being abandoned

I am so uncomfortable approaching this topic, I am going to use the phrase above repeatedly in my writing so if I veer off course with it (avoidance) I will plug it back in.

Here’s the thing: it isn’t true but for the majority of my life I have been acting as if is true and I have had enough of it. I know that you and I both have a purpose and a mission to fulfill and mine is anything BUT being afraid of being abandoned because I have learned… I won’t be… because over the years people I thought I could trust HAVE abandoned me yet I was never alone.

My mind is flashing back to a Davy and Goliath episode from long past, perhaps my favorite one because Davy was on a train and it was like the train was speaking to him, “God is everywhere, God is everywhere” and if the God word bothers you, plug in whatever you believe in instead.. perhaps “Love is everywhere, love is everywhere, love is everywhere” and in fact, beloveds, I might scoop up that mantra and carry it with me from now on.

Because I know above all, People will not reject me. I thrive when I recognize I am living according to the purpose I was born to fulfill. How invigorating this is for me and for you, too, because I believe we all have a purpose, a mission, a reason….

Perhaps part of mine is to tell you that talking about whatever it is you think is too scary to speak will take you along a path of extraordinary freedom.

Who thought when I started with “People will reject me: I don’t want to/I can’t survive being abandoned” that I would end with freedom?

My norm is to scoot off course when I write something that scares me but today was different. Maybe it is because I was holding my purpose in my heart and I was holding YOU in my words as they flowed from me.

The timer went off when I put the question mark on freedom. Affirmative, right? Yes. Because Love is Everywhere. I may open my heart and trust divine timing.

That feels so good. That feels so good….

Now, onto a prompt and a “What’s Next Mission”for you to consider, and write, and contemplate, and art journal or have a transformational conversation:

Tell about a time when you didn’t speak (or write, or journal or even think) about a particular sore subject. Remember what I’ve said here – and take a step toward giving freedom to that untalkaboutable so that you may shine in your unique, distinctive purpose.

Start with a sentence, just a sentence, and see if you are able to write for five minutes.

I’m available if you need me. Call or text me at 661.444.2735.

I’ll take it one step further and invite you to our next #5for5BrainDump which I offer for as a gift from my heart to your pencil, pen or fingers on the keyboard to let those words flow now, to end any lingering writer’s block, and discover the miracles that rest within you, waiting to step through the door marked writing freedom.

The world is waiting for your words. Let’s get them on the page, together.

Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world.  She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist  whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people’s creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!

To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.

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Still Here, and That’s Just Fine…. Shifting the Fear Narrative

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Today I used a quote as a writing prompt, simply writing whatever flew off the ends of my fingertips in response.

I wrote this short essay in five minutes and maybe two more, to bring it to conclusion.

It was written in #5for5BrainDump style and I am thrilled to announce our next #5for5BrainDump session has been scheduled to begin June 18. Come back tomorrow for a link to the free sign up page. (Woeful mailing list issues).

Now, wisdom from Carolyn Myss, a different child-like version of me and a surprisingly… well, just me-me.

“Do you really want to look back on your life and see how wonderful it could have been had you not been afraid to live in?”
Caroline Myss

This quote hits me like a shocking slap to the face.

Ouch. Sting. I reach for my face – my heart shaped scar, the tears that want to pour out but stay continually stuck. Frozen.

I do not want to look back on my life and see fear everywhere.

I have stopped saying the word “want” as much as possible.

My aim is to look back and be satisfied, even with the fear-filled moments.

There is a little how do I describe her – a little contrarian Julie sitting on my right shoulder who wants to defend me. “Do you know what Julie has been through? She deserves to be afraid. She has earned a holy fear. Seriously, do you know her stories?”

I want to shush her, it’s embarrassing, and I remember Adam, my twice-time counselor saying something similar. “Give yourself a break, Julie” and I look back into my memory and say. “But Adam, I am still here. I am still here.”

I am thrilled to look back at my life in ten years and say. “This is that time when I transformed. This is the time when I chose differently.” (I wanted to say ‘finally’ and I controlled myself.)

All of the fear mongering experiences have served me, strangely, in adding a more compassionate side and gaining multitudes of life. I continually learn about self-forgiveness and compassion. I could have a PhD (at least) in patience.

I’m a grief expert, and my shortcomings – not wanting to create more strife or have confrontations or let go – these are areas I recognize and continue to work on.

When I look back at my life, I see purple. I smell lavender and juniper and surprisingly moist soil and last year’s leaves. I hear birds– familiar and not-so-much, pencils scratching on paper, and I see smiles slowly breaking across faces and eyes crinkling up. I see tears: of awe and bitter sadness.

A quiet voice inside just said. “and you did your best.”

That earlier contrarian Julie is in disagreement.

I am choosing to let go of the frustrated nihilist child and am willing to nod in agreement.  I’m willing to receive the assessment, “I did my best.”

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