I was insistent it was too difficult for me to think even a year in the future when I first saw this prompt.
I was determined to focus on the bad year I was ending and how because I can’t predict what horrible hurts might happen I ought not bother wasting my energy with devising a vision.
Two things happened within an hour of waking (amidst prepping bisquits for Samuel’s class, getting dressed and making a cup of coffee.)
I remembered getting off the freeway, specifically route 58, the Union Avenue off ramp early one morning.
You know those roads that never get done, that are continually under construction, usually in lower socioeconomic areas?
I found myself in this same place where I had attempted to help an old, infirm, possibly without a home woman about a year ago? I remember as clear as a bell being in a hurry but seeing her struggle between the construction snafus and I thought, “Julie, if you are who you say you are, turn around and help her!”
So I did. I even parked my car a half block ahead of where she was mumbling and angry and quickly walked toward her to offer assistance.
She rebuffed my offer and chose to do it how she had probably done it for who knows how long. I drove off knowing at least I honored my personal way of being and stayed in alignment with who I say I am.
My most recent turn on this off ramp I noticed the pavement was smooth, the lanes wide and the paint stripes guiding me stood out even in the pre-dawn lack of light. This: an almost unbelievable transformation from the sketchy off-ramp from times past. I don’t remember ever being anything but dicey to say the least was now as beautiful as any on-or-off-ramp I have ever seen.
Then in a moment of upset and flurry of activity because I had to change the plug for my computer – I moved it because of a need for the Facebook Live series we are doing – I saw one of my art journals sitting in a pile of books and I picked it up only to discover it was the art journal I was using at the end of December last year.
It opened to the page where I was holding a vision for November 2018. I hadn’t looked at it for months. I was surprised to see on the page I had written, “Workshops, Performances, Travel.” Why yes, yes and yes.
I wrote, back a year ago when I was holding a vision for my now recent past, “I was taught to deny (automatically with fear attached) rather than consciously choose, or discern, with love and soulful consideration.”
I was seeing into the future last year.
So now, I am typing with a smile on my face and am looking forward to diving into this today with you.
I may not finish today with my overall vision AND I know I will have a good start. I have started already with all our prompts.
I’ve turned my frown upside down and I didn’t think that was possible an hour ago! (And then this blog post was buried amidst the “I’m so busy” flurries and it wasn’t until I found this quote from Rumi… and actually set a goal for 2019 to have an ongoing writing practice daily once again:
Miracles. Every day. There is gold dust. I am grateful.
The year hasn’t ended. That artificial measurement of time is still 48 hours away. I can still give this prompt its due. My grateful smile has gotten wider. Life is good – in all its nooks and crannies and dust bunnies and rogue cat hair (thank you Alice) life is good.
Julie JordanScott, Creative Life Midwife, is currently in the final stages of the 2018/2019 Bridge to the New Year which she created with Paula Puffer.
She is grateful you are reading and invites you to follow her on social media to keep the relationship going.