I humbly offer myself as a healer of misery… and the first thing that pops up is… oh, I can’t. I don’t have it in me I am not up to it. No. No. No.
Yet today on a livestream broadcast the vote from all who knew me was unanimous: the work I do is healing. Who I am in the world is healer.
I carefully outlined some of the ways I have healed this week and if I am honest, pretty much so anyway at least 50% of me just being me in the world is healing so if one side of me is saying “oh, I can’t. I don’t have it in me I am not up to it. No. No. No.” well… let’s just say the disconnect is looming, thunder-cloud-like, eclipse right in the middle of the darkness.
I may have stumbled upon something.
Think of my worst misery:
Grief. Out of alignment with purpose… not expressing my gifts. Listening to the advice of people who don’t have a clue (I almost edited that before I typed it but “have a clue” is more accurate than “aren’t clear on what I am doing.” No, they don’t have a clue and I have put much more emphasis on their opinions than my own wisdom.
It is my fear, after all, that shouts with the “oh, I can’t. I don’t have it in me I am not up to it. No. No. No.”
I’ve been thinking of making a puppet like when I was a little girl and talking to myself through her. Getting really really real with her, and in doing so, getting real with me and you and whomever and in doing THAT allowing others to get real, really real, too.
Yes, I have it in me. Yes, I can and I do, regularly.
I am not only up to it, I am pretty close to mastery in most places.
In fact, I am remembering a woman once who came to me completely flustered and said, “Julie, I don’t know what it is you do but I need it right now!”
I had no idea what she was talking about so I simply said, “Yes, yes, let’s do this.”
I took her hands and looked deeply into her eyes and said “Breathe with me.”
We bnreathed together, in unison.
I said, “Close your eyes and see yourself feeling better as you continue to breathe with me.” She did.
“After adequate time passed I said, “In silence, we will continue to breathe together now…” and we did.
Thirty seconds later, I smiled at her and said, “So be it, Amen.”
Instantly feeling better. She hugged me for a long hug and thanked me for being so generous with instant work with her.
She left the room and I looked at the other woman and I said, “I have no idea what just happened but, it happened and all is well, so… it’s all good, right?”
The next prompt in this “series” I wll write on either later today or tomorrow is….. (because of my own block I am working through on this content is…)